Living Nightmare

by fluttercordlover232

Chapter 9

Author's Note:

Phew! this one took me forever to write! I wanted to get this chapter up tonight because my family as insued a 'no electronic sundays!!!!!' : So because of that, I will not be posting anything until monday. Sorry guys, I hope you enjoy the chapter anyway!

Curious as to know what she had been reading, he approached the side of the bed.

Probably reading about some rare bird or some other elusive creature. He thought as he picked up the book that was lying wide open. It was opened to a chapter labeled, Readjusting to Life After Trauma:

Confused, he closed the book so as to see the cover. The title read, PTSD: Horror in the Mind: The Psychology of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and the Ethical Way to Lift it.

"Post-traumatic stress disorder?" Discord mumbled to himself. Being an immortal, he's seen and heard many things throughout his lifetime, but he's never heard of post-traumatic stress disorder before. He flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for. He stopped and began to read the words on the page.

"Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a debilitating psychological condition triggered by a major traumatic event, such as sexual assault , war, a terrorist act, death of a loved one, a natural disaster, or a catastrophic accident. Symptoms may include flashbacks, insomnia, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.

Traumatized ponies chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: the past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.

As with most mental illnesses, no cure exists for PTSD, but the symptoms can be effectively managed to restore the affected individual to normal functioning. The best hope for treating post-traumatic stress disorder is a combination of medication and therapy.

However, treatments for PTSD will never take away the fact that a traumatic event occurred. Treatments for PTSD cannot erase memory of those events.

Discord froze. He dropped the book in shock and backed away from it as if the book had burned him. He felt his back hit against the wall, while beads of sweat started to form on his forehead, and he breathed heavily.

It all made sense now, her constant nightmares...calling out his name so desperately in her sleep... begging him to not leave her...If what this book said was true.. Fluttershy got this condition from when..when he betrayed her...

So many emotions were rolling through him like wild fire. He felt confusion, hurt, and anger all at once.

Why would Fluttershy lie to me? Discord thought bitterly.

Suddenly, the fire that was raging inside him extinguished and he sunk fully against the wall. He slowly slid down and collapsed in a heap on the wooden floor. Tears formed in his eyes. He pulled his knees into his chest..which he would've done literally if he had been in the mood. He buried his face into his knees and began to cry softly.

---

Fluttershy was growing uneasy, Discord had been up there for too long.

"Discord?" She called.

Nothing.

She hurried up the stairs and headed for her bedroom.

"Discord?" Fluttershy poked her head into her room. What she saw made her blood freeze...

Discord was sitting on the edge of the bed, glaring at her. His cheeks were red and puffy from crying, and there were streaks where the tears had dried. His eyes were glowing slightly with anger, and there was a hint of hurt in them as well.

Fluttershy cautiously walked into the room, never taking her eyes off Discord. She flew to the edge of her bed and landed next to him.

Neither spoke for a minute, trying to decide who should speak first. Discord was the one who broke the silence.

"Why?" He whispered while still looking down at the bed sheets.

"Why what?" Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion at his question.

Discord pulled something out from behind his back and dropped it in front of her. Fluttershy paled, it was one of the books Dr. Rubix gave her..

PTSD: Horror in the Mind: The Psychology of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and the Ethical Way to Lift it.

Fluttershy suddenly realized that this was what she forgot..she left the books on her bed when she left her room earlier to leave for her date with Discord.

"Why?" He whispered again. He looked up at her this time, his eyes were no longer glowing and new tears were brimming at his eyes. "Why did you lie to me Fluttershy? Especially since you knew I.." His voice broke right then. "I caused this.."

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you Discord, I would lose you if I told you. I know you well enough that if you knew, you would isolate yourself from me and..wait, how did you know that.."

"I remembered you begging me not leave you when I stayed with you one night when you had your nightmare. I didn't know what you meant..until now. Considering that, and what I just read.. I'd say you got this from.. what I did to you when Tirek was here?"

Fluttershy remained quiet and avoided his gaze, which was all the answer he needed. He nodded glumly as he bit his lip.

"I...I'm so sorry Fluttershy...so sorry...so sorry..."

Fluttershy hushed him as she put her hooves around his neck and softly stroked his mane as he's done for her so many times before. She felt his tears wet her mane as he cried. She felt a few of her own tears fall down her cheek as they continued to hold each other. Their date long forgotten.

Comments

[kurusagi16]

Now that things are out in the open, there's a good chance of tension rising between the two.

P.s. Sometimes when I need to brainstorm fanfic ideas, I grab a piece of paper and write whatever I come up with. If you want, you could use that on Sundays to keep yourself in the writing mood.

[Featherclaw]

See Fluttershy?! You had to tell him! I knew this was going to happen!

Keep on writing author! You made it feel like an actual episode!

[Carnation83]