Ta Da! here's the Apple Jack/Big Mac story! Instead of three separate one-shots, this one is going to be a three chapter story. Reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated. .
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 17th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen Dec 24th, 2012
twilightsparkleisbestpony
uuuuuuuuh hi...
twilightsparkleisbestpony
Joined 17th Dec, 2011 ·
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Hmmm it could have gone better first things first, it went very fast. Second cmon dude don't say leave a like and stuff like that, it isn't very good to do that. Third, it said "Mac had dodged the knife but now he was headed straight for AJ." That sounds like Mac is trying to kill her, you have to be specific.
922424 No! NO SHIPPING! Just fluffy brother-sister stuff! fluf! all fluf! except later, but we'll get to that later.
Its quite good, that said it dose seem a bit rushed, very jumping from scene to scene. but other than that it was good.
yay please write more