Just one, and then I'll head back.

It was around eleven at night. I think it was anyway, my eyes were too tired and too sore to look at a clock. I close my laptop with one hoof, the other rubbing my tired eyes. I had been at this all night and still didn't feel any smarter. Equestrian Biology CAN'T be this hard, so maybe I'm just a moron. I look across the room. My roommate sits in his chair in front of his laptop computer, frantically clicking away on his mouse. His eyes are glued to the screen, and every five minutes or so a loud "SHIT" erupts from his mouth. I can't help but smile when he does it again. League of Ponies isn't exactly my kind of game, and when ever he talks about it, it just doesn't make sense. As I get up from my seat to grab a coat, I can hear him mumbling over his headset to his teammates about 'lanes' or 'poking'. I'm not sure what he means. I open my door and step out into the dorm hall. This had been a rough enough night as it was, and I wasn't going to spend the rest of it listening to my friend swear at a game. I was going out. I had sworn off the drink a few months back, hoping it would help with some of my sadness, but this was too much. And school was only part of it. All I wanted was to just have one drink. Just one.

My name is Copper Coat. I am a second year student here at Black Reigns Institute of Private Education, near the western part of Canterlot. But don't let the name try and fool you, this place is a hole. The school has been here in Canterlot for almost two hundred years, and was started by a man who felt work and education should coincide together in harmony. As such, every student who comes here to live and learn also works at one of the many jobs it takes to keep this place running, from office work to plumbing, every job has a name and a small group that works it. I myself work in the theater department, ensuring the people who work for me know how to build set pieces without them...falling apart. Or combusting. It happens. That last one only a few times, but I'm here now. The college isn't limited to any one specific type of pony, so we have a pretty diverse crowd. Mostly Unicorn's , but we do have dedicated dorms to Earth Ponies and Pegasi. I myself am an Earth Pony. The school is relatively small. Only about six hundred ponies attend here, and only four hundred or so actually LIVE on site. The campus maybe takes up four or five city blocks? I haven't actually measured it myself. It isn't too far away from where Canterlot really starts to get busy, and they pride themselves on being small, but focused on their work. The science and magic degrees from this place REALLY carry some weight, but I don't think I have ever done anything more difficult in my life. I'm twenty four now, only started going to school again a year ago. Trying to make it on your own this day in age without some kind of school is tough, and I was tired of always living paycheck to paycheck, never any bits to have fun or be happy with.

All in all, I GUESS I'm happy with the school. It hasn't been the best experience, but when it's all you can afford, you take what you can get. I walk down the hall to the stairwell. My own brain hasn't helped at all, let me tell you. It's starting to get cold out, and I hate the cold. Having something a little warm in my belly will help take away some of this stress. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I know it isn't true, and as I climb down the stairs from the third floor down to the first, I can't help but linger in the building. On the first floor is her, Caramel Tart. Up until about three hours ago, we were a thing. A big thing. But not everything is always meant to be. I tighten my coat around me as the not so gentle wind hits me. I start walking into town. I know it's going to take me almost a half an hour to get there, and with no books to distract me, I'm left with only my thoughts. That's dangerous. As I leave, I can hear the chime of a laugh coming from her open voice, and also his voice.

She was someone who saved me from myself on a moment of chance last year, during the second semester of my first year. I was lost, confused, bitter and alone. My family had stopped calling, and most of my friends had moved on to another milestone in their lives that I was now behind. I was so cold...and cried so often. I had thought about giving up when she started talking to me. In a few weeks, we had found ourselves inseparable from each other. And in a months time more, she had become my mare friend. We dated the rest of that semester, and she let me live with her in the summer months outside of the Canterlot limits with her family. We were happy enough but...it had begun to drown itself away in time. I think it was mostly my fault for letting it get stale, but I have been told I make too many things about myself. When we had gotten back for the new year it was all but over. Too many nights were spent with tears from odd places. Too many sideways glances and awkward forced small talks in the library. I still don't know what changed. But I had my tougher classes destroying me, she had her own, and I had more and more of my depression creeping back up into my mind. At any rate...she had started talking to someone else to help fill her void where I had been. It had ended up being one of my good friends. I found out that little gem about two weeks after she had started getting happier. I shook my head as a bit of light rain began. Almost there.

In the months to follow, our lives became a roller coaster. She would spend a week wanting me, complaining about my friend, and then another week hating me, telling me what I had done wrong, and why I would be alone forever. This happened so often that whenever I was around her, I could never keep a clear head. Everything was a spectacle. In time, she told me she was in love with both of us, and we would just have to accept it. I of course, wanted no part of that. I was too old to be messing with something so...so filly like! I told her I was moving on, and forgetting about her. This apparently back fired...and only made her chase after and yell at me more. I could never figure out what it was she wanted. Up until tonight that is. She had come to my door and knocked, and said SHE was quitting. She was tired of me not loving her back, and that she had ultimately wanted ME over HIM, but just couldn't tell him no or send him away. I let her rant and rant, never saying a word. With tears in her eyes she asked me to say something. I told her to "Leave". And that was it. Another nine months of my life gone that I will never get back. Once the door was shut, I sat on my bed for at least on hour. I was too angry to hit anything, and way too sad to cry. I just...sat there. Finally when my roommate got back to the room, I decided to distract myself with some studying. Finals were around the corner, and I was going to need every bit of help I could get. I shook my mane once again. Here I was, The Lucky Horseshoe. I pushed open the door and went on in.

Inside was what I expected. A buck ball game was on several of the T.V's hung up high on the walls. The room was almost too warm, and everything table and chair, including the bar, was a rich brown color. The lights were dim, but just so it wouldn't destroy your eyes on the way in. I took a seat at one of the stools. It was relaxing. The bar was semi-full of other ponies, enjoying some light playful banter, some of the laughter a bit too forced or loud, and the gentle clinking of glasses. I chose to sit at one of the stools closest to the door. I was still telling myself I was only going to have one, just one to take the edge off. That was it, nothing major, nothing weird, nothing special. As I was contemplating my surroundings, she walked up. My bartender. She had just a hint of fatigue in her painted on smile, and her mane was beginning to unravel from her tight, done-up bun. When she saw me, I thought I saw a spark light up behind her amber eyes. She walked up to me and asked what I would be having. I needed only a second before telling her I needed just one Pineapple Cider. She looked as though she didn't believe me, but trotted away to return a few moments later with a glass of cider, red at the bottom and flowing upwards in a more orange and then to yellow hue. It looked delicious, but something about her eyes looked even tastier. My eyes instinctively ran to her flank once she walked away to help someone else, and then it clicked. I took a long drink of the cider as I ran through the depths of my brain. I could feel the tartness pierce my lips and make my tongue quiver. The heat slammed into the back of my throat, and I could feel the numbness spread downward to my belly. A simple playing card, like one you would find at any table. Silver Spade, I couldn't believe it almost faded away. I smiled the moment her name came back to me. She had trotted by again just for a second to check up on me and my drink, flashing me a toothy grin once more. Her light gray coat catching the pale light from above the bar, glimmering in such a way that it brought me back to happier times. But in a flash, it was gone, and I was left with the realization that I was still here, a melting drink in my hoof. When she came around a third time I perked up, setting down my now empty glass. I asked her if she remembered me after calling out her name. She said she did.

I didn't bother her long, divines knew I wanted too, but it just didn't seem right to bug her at work. I exchanged only a few sentences at a time with her, the bar seemed rather rowdy. She had graduated from a southern institute in Canterlot, the Theatrical Arts is what she had studied, but finding work was a bit harder than she thought, so in her down time, she served drinks. Half way through she had a bout with cancer, but for the most part she was fine, heck, it hardly seemed to bother her as it was. Equestrian medicine has come a long way in a short time. She was seeing someone now, and she was staying in a tiny, cozy apartment not too far away. She was happy with what she had, and I couldn't help but feel envious. Maybe I was just being dramatic, or maybe it was the third Pineapple Cider in my belly. I fought everything in me not to drag up our past, or what we had. She had been an early filly-friend of mine, and even though we only had one summer together, it had stuck with me for years. It was odd in a way, seeing her here after all this time. Maybe it was age though, or again, these drinks, but I was overcome with sadness and longing. And with that, it was time to go. I took out my bits a bit shakily and paid her, and then with a gentle touch to my hoof, I stepped back out into the cold.

I went back to campus in a sort of haze. No condition to be out and about, and Luna had raised the moon full and bright this night. It wasn't long before I made it back, the whole walk buzzing by me without much notice. With a blank mind, it's hard to grab on to tiny things. I stumbled into my bed and flopped down, pulling he blankets tight over my muzzle. My roommate was now passed out, snoring loudly into a teddy bear he was clutching. As sleep crept over my eyes, I realized that I had broken my promise. It hadn't been just one drink. It had been five. I kept telling myself I deserved it. I deserved it even though it always makes me sad. I deserved it because she broke my heart. I deserved it because I had done a lot of studying. I deserved it because these classes were killing me. I deserved it because I hadn't spoken to my family in over a year. I deserved it because...because I didn't.

Author's Note:

Maybe based on real events. I 'dunno.

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