(now rated Teen because some people used very naughty words in the comments, and because 95% of you are in your Teens or over anyway. Also, starting from Chapter Four, all chapters may be edited and/or proofread by NWRAlicorn, who deserves more recognition than he has right now)
The ponies of the Crystal Empire have welcomed the Changeling known as Thorax as one of their own, with Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor's blessings. Or at least those who reside within the Crystal Palace have anyway. Outside the walls however, there are some who still need to be convinced of Thorax's good intentions.
Cadence and Shining Armor may have a way for him to do just that.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cover art by UniqueSKD (because who would want to draw me anything?)
Good Story
with His ability to change Form, I'm sure he makes them happy
He would make a good father too
I do love some passive agressive in the morning
Add an extra 'enter' press between the speakers.
Chapters could be just a tad longer, and you need to be a just a bit more descriptive in your writing, but overall I'm looking forward to more. Keep it up!
7809789 Longer chapters? More descriptive writing?
Oh, I get it. You must have mistaken me for a competent story writer. Easy mistake to make. Nah, you must be wanting a good fanfic writer like totallynotabrony, or maybe one of those clopfic writers like MegaPone who don't understand how a penis actually works. Just go out into the hallway and take the door on the left and you'll find the good writers who can offer you what you're looking for, okay sir/madam?
i'll get the sign outside changed so nobody else looking for a good writer makes the same mistake.
7809211 Why do you automatically assume he'll be a father by the end of this fanfic?
7809290 I'm a dick, and a vagina, and all retard.
I don't even know where I was going with that.
7809861 I meant he WOULD make a good father, never meant he would be a father. Sorry If I confused you, coudn't help but think that some of the foals would see him as a father as i read it
7809864 Oh sorry. Guess I went full turd-for-brains there and misread your comment. My bad, mate.
7809870 Don't be, such things happen
7809860 I was giving you advice, fucker. The least you could do is not be a cunt about it.
7809946 Sorry about that, Dusty. Probably don't deserve that advice now, do I?
7809986 You say in the description that you want help with your story. I give you help and then you decide to be a cunt for no reason. Yeah, I don't think you deserve the damn advice.
7810000 Sorry. It's my arrogant pride. I just don't really want to do longer chapters. It's not my thing, you see. I find it very difficult to keep a story going and have it remain interesting, at least to myself anyway. As for descriptive writing, I don't even know what to talk about. I don't know how or what to be describing, and keep it interesting.
7810017 Not everything comes easily. Just gotta keep at it, and it'll eventually get there. I recommend getting an editor or two. And try not to be a cunt to 'em.
7810023
Yeah. Sorry about that again. Can we start over again?
7810048 Sure, no problem. Sorry for the language.
7810064 No apologies, please. I deserved it. You didn't.
So, um...hello there? My name is UniqueSKD, but you can call me that or my real name, Kiefer. (pronounced key-fur) I'm British, 25 years old, male, and I suffer from mental stability caused by a chemical imbalance in my cerebral cortex caused by an experimental medicine served to me when I was younger. I pass it off as ADHD, even though it's a little more complex than that.
Yep, that breathing technique is really helpful, tried it myself. Hope the children don't panic when he sees them
7810120 How's the next chapter coming along?
7821556 i haven't started it just yet. Right now at this moment I'm working on a picture to use as a thumbnail for my upcoming animation project; a music video animation that will be a cross between My Little Pony and Castlevania. I'll set up a new chapter in due time. After all, I prefer to work on animations over fanfiction to be honest. Fanfiction is kinda of tedious to do, especially when I' struggling to think of how to write a chapter out and make it interesting enough to keep the reader interested.
At the very least, I've got animations on my YouTube channel to keep you entertained (probably) until I decide to get the next chapter going. If the story is worth continuing writing of course.
IF you think about it, Santa and Satan are almost the same name, except with the "n" moved about. They both are known to be red, large and carry an infinite something or other to spread emotions of their preference to the unknowing population of Earth.
7832808 It's the New Year, weirdo. Santa and Satan won't be back until next year. XD
7833101
But they're always watching. They know about EVERY naughty thing you'll ever do in your life.
7833168 So? i'll video myself milking a cow and put it on YouTube. More people will be watching. Anyways I'm not coming back to this story for a little bit because I'm working on a special Castlevania / MLP music video style animation for the next two/two and a half months. hand drawn on paper, photographed and uploaded into Photoshop, traced and colored, and then painstakingly made into frames to make an animation i doubt will get a nice number of views but screw it I'm doing it anyway.
7833286
That sounds like it'll be awesome (and painful to make). Best of luck to you, my friend!
7833289 i made the One Punch Pony animation in two months, I think I might be able to do this. I have a few ideas that might interest people. Maybe you'll even check it out if you're into Castlevania or the new upcoming Bloodstained Ritual of the Night.
Earning trust?! Changelings are evil!! That's the only good thing about them!!!
7919828 Almost as evil as monsters. I must agree with you there. Have a Like.
I like what you've done with the story so far! Can't wait to see more, also changeling= so many fun "characters" to make....
8088410 Well I have been trying to get around to writing another chapter up for this story, but it's been hard since I'm not exactly a dedicated writer. I prefer drawing and animation. But I'll see if I can do anything this week.
8088662 out of curiosity have you thought about writing this out as a script and turning it into an animation project?
8088762 Um...no, no I haven't actually. What is the reason behind your question, if it isn't rude of me to ask?
8088774 it's just the fact that you stated you are more into drawing/animation than writing, so I thought maybe instead of writing this story out normally you could make it as a script for an animation, then after your done with that flesh it out as a story from there
Just a different way to look at things I suppose
8088776 Well, I once thought about maybe doing drawings to put into my fanfics to help tell the story, and give an idea of the sort of scenes I was trying to set in a chapter. Thing is, I actually tried that once, and the admins chewed my backside out for it. Yet several other people - whose stories I recall were FEATURED - had done it themselves.Granted they might have done it for one chapter in their stories, but I still feel there was a bit of discrimination going on at the time. XD
Though now that you brought it up, maybe it wouldn't hurt to try something like that again...hmm...you may be on to something there, good sir or madam.
8088781 it's good sir, I am B4ss of the name, and also a story I know that uses images has a title based off a saying from an excellent anime, and I am glad to help, I find giving an outsiders perspective on things can help others more if they are open to it
8088790 You've scored another Follower today - myself. I bow politely to you, and I hope I can prove myself worthy of your amusement on this site or on my YouTube channel.
8088793 don't worry about it, I'm just a reader, my main story never got past chapter 1 and it's because every time I try I end up "talking" in circles in my story
8088796 You're more than a reader today - you're a person who made me smile. Thank you.
8088813 no problem man, something I try to do for people on a regular basis, just try to pay it forward today okay?
What are you looking for in your next chapter??
8090827 Hmm...just how to introduce the six foals to Thorax, really.
You can have the foals introduce themselves and have them each give thorax a little bit about themselves
Pity, it was a good story.
8137819 It really wasn't. It really really wasn't. There are plenty of Thorax stories already going around. There was no point keeping hold of this one when it would have been dwarfed by literally hundreds of Changeling-trying-to-be-good-guys stories already.
8137829 You shouldn't judge your story against others, just because they happen to have a similar set-up. It should be judged by its own merits, not compared to others.
8137945 Stories are NOT judged by their own merits. All stories are judged against others to separate the crap from the good. No story has merit - it's either write a good story that people like, or don't bother setting yourself up for failure. I can't think of how to write the rest of the fourth chapter. THE FOURTH CHAPTER. So there's no point leaving yet another fanfic in eternal incomplete limbo. Maybe one day I'' develop the brain cells needed to write the rest of the FOURTH CHAPTER, and if I'm very lucky, I may even be able to write a fifth...but...I don't know, I'm in such a state of depression right now.
8137829 Maybe but is is the first one i saw where Thorax and foals are combined in a story.
very interesting... looking forward for the next chapter
8617974
Be prepared to wait a long time possibly. I've lost interest in fanfic writing for a year now and I'm only just TRYING to find motivation to have another go at writing again. But hey, cheers for giving this dreck a read. Very much appreciated, sir or madam. :)