Heck hath no fury like a filly scorned
The Pie family rock farm was often thought of as an idyllic home for one of Equestria’s most solid families. However, one less-known fact about the farm was its proximity to a great swamp filled with pygmy alligators.
Being ambush predators, but rather slow and small ones at that, the gators found little opportunity to expand their diets beyond the occasional lamed bird or unobservant frog. And being unaccustomed to facing serious competition from other predators in the region, they themselves had grown slow, weak, and complacent in the face of possible change.
One cold morning, change came in the form of a small grey filly sucking furiously on a squeaky yellow pacifier. She crested the low hill at the edge of her family's farm with slow, toddling strides, and gazed behind herself for just a moment.
“Dubid Aud,” she muttered through the pacifier.
She set off down the hill toward the smoky swamp, scrabbling to keep her footing through the many spots where dirt gave way to rocks and gravel. Her hooves kicked-up little cascades of falling stones as she went, which made a peaceful roll-crunch sound as they scattered down toward the swamp.
Limestone sneered as she noticed a hoof-full of small gators poke their heads up out of the swamp, doubtlessly alerted by the sound. They stared back up at her with curiosity, and cocked their heads in unison, perhaps confused by the sight of potential prey intentionally heading toward them.
The gators brought their heads around to look at each other. After a while, one of the gators turned back to look at Limestone, then started a slow, crawling gait toward her.
Limestone watched all this impassively. She felt a solitary pang of doubt in her plan when she saw the gator moving to intercept her. However, she looked down, studied the ground, and smiled as she spotted and picked up a decent-sized rock.
The gator seemed to notice this. It slowed its advance, and looked back toward its fellows. It even seemed to sag a little when it realized all of them had vanished back into the swampy water.
It turned back to Limestone, shook itself a little, and continued its march toward peril.
Limestone and the gator stopped mere hoof-lengths from each other. They sized each other up and down, each trying to gauge how the other was going to react.
At length, Limestone brought her spare forehoof up, removed the pacifier, and pointed it at the gator.
“I’mma wide you,” she declared.
The gator possessed only a rudimentary grasp of audible communication, but it had seen enough determined ponies with upraised rocks to gather that the jig was up. It gulped, then lowered its head, hoping that, as a worst-case scenario, its death would be quick and relatively painless.
It was less sure what to make of the situation as it felt the pony climbing up onto its back. Out of instinct and confusion, it brought its head around to look at her.
Then Limestone jammed the pacifier in its mouth.
The gator sucked on it for a few moments, now well and truly outside its realm of life experience, and feeling no small quantity of trepidation about that. And yet, the feeling that the pacifier gave it was… soothing. Agreeable.
Limestone pulled it out again and pushed it back into her own mouth. Then she kicked the gator’s flanks, spurring it into motion.
Inwardly, the gator felt a sense of loss at having the pacifier torn from it so abruptly; and yet, it also now knew that such was a pleasure that the world could offer it, and it felt motivated to serve its newfound pony master, if only for the fleeting chance at another taste of that sweet ambrosia. For her part, Limestone was just grateful that the gator’s clawed feet were able to find better purchase on the rocky slope than Limestone’s stubby hooves had done.
As they crested the hill, Limestone reared up and gripped the nape of the gator’s neck. This forced both of them up into a suitably dramatic pose, augmented by the hot ball of the rising sun behind them.
“Chaaaaaawge!” Limestone bellowed, gritting the pacifier in the left side of her mouth as she hefted her small rock with her upraised right forehoof.
The gator gulped again and made its best attempt at galloping across the open field between the slope and the farmhouse. The effect was somewhat muted by its short legs and the not-inconsequential mass of Limestone on its back, but it at least managed to move a little faster on the flat, open terrain, than it had on the slope.
A sound of clinking pots, pans, and utensils from the house made Limestone scowl deeper, and kick the poor gator again. This didn’t produce a noticeable change in its speed, but it did make her feel a little better.
They stopped before the short series of steps up from the ground to the farmhouse’s front porch. Limestone eyed the steps, and then the gator. After a moment, she dismounted, and helped the gator clamber its way up onto the porch. She also walked over to the screen door, levered it open, and… paused, frowning, as she looked around for the missing doorstop.
Eventually, she sighed, and jammed the rock she was carrying under the door to keep it open. Then she walked back to the nervous-looking gator, remounted, and gave another throaty cry of war.
Limestone and the gator breached the perimeter with a disappointing lack of resistance. She seethed as they crossed unnoticed through the mudroom, then the living room, then down the hall. She pulled hard, forcing the gator to turn the corner toward the kitchen; she also leaned down closer to its back and gave it yet another kick in the flanks, hoping to maximize speed. As before, the effect was limited by the poor creature’s limited carrying capacity, but it continued giving her an earnest effort.
Limestone searched the kitchen as she came storming into it, hoping to spot the ones who’d perpetrated the great injustices of her life upon her: Mother. Maud.
“Daughter?” said a deep voice.
Limestone’s will faltered only slightly as she saw her father, the amber-coated Igneous Rock, turn to face her from his position near the stove. She still didn’t understand why he stood there every morning and made something black and awful to drink. He always smiled when she asked about it, though; and that made her angry.
Seeing him now in the place of her intended adversaries made her angry, too. She roared, or gave a small, adorable attempt at it, and braced herself as she charged full-force into one of his legs.
“What the…?”
The gator simply plowed face-first into him… and stopped, stunned, as Igneous remained completely unfazed by the blow. It tottered for a moment, then fell flat upon its midsection.
Limestone snarled at her erstwhile charger’s weakness, and dismounted, drawing the pacifier out of her mouth and swinging it at Igneous’ leg like a club.
Igneous brought his muzzle down right next to Limestone’s and gave her a flat look. “Now sweetheart, what hast thy mother told thee about playing with the gators?”
“Don’ cawe,” Limestone said, drawing back for another swing.
Her father placed a hoof on her foreleg, stopping the blow. “Limestone, it is clear that thou art angry about something. Canst thou use thy words to tell us what has got thee so upset?”
Limestone stuck her lower lip out as she scowled. “Mama. Maud. ‘S… tummy.”
“I see,” he said, sitting down on his haunches. “Perhaps I understand.”
“Don’ wan’otha sista.”
Igneous smiled for a moment, but then saw the look on her face. “Now Limestone, thou knowest thy mother and I care about thee deeply, even if we’re blessed with other children as well.”
Limestone folded her forelegs and pouted. “Don’ see mama no mo’.”
He nodded, looking sad. “Carrying this foal be harder on thy mother for some reason. Harder than with thyself or thy sister. Between her needed bed rest, and with nursing Maud… I wish I saw her up and about more often as well, Limestone.”
“Don’ wan’ mo’,” Limestone said. “Gatow eat Maud. Eat up mama’s tummy too. No mo’!”
Igneous sighed, then lifted her up in his forehooves. “Limestone, thou art as clever and determined as thy mother.” He glanced down at the fallen gator. “Perhaps a bit too clever, at that. But thou shouldst know, thy mother and I love thee deeply, even though things be difficult now.”
She glowered at him. “Tawk and tawk and tawk. No pway.”
He smiled, and pulled her into a great hug. “Of course. By my troth, there hath indeed been too little of play lately.”
Just then, there was a soft, subdued, almost apologetic cry from the other room.
Igneous looked up, sighing. “I should get thy sister Maud first, though; I think that be her loneliness cry. We can all sit down and play together.”
No,” she said, tugging on his leg. “Pway wi’ me.”
“I shall, dear,” he said, giving her a sincere smile. “I know it be not quite the same as before, but I promise thee… my love for thee be not diminished by the blessing of more foals. And there will be more play with thee, both now and ever after.”
He set her down, and strode out of the room, cooing as he made his way toward Maud’s crib in the other room.
Limestone frowned after him, then turned and eyed the fallen gator. Its eyes were open and staring at her with uncertainty. She trotted up to it, cocked her head, and offered it her pacifier, which it promptly clamped down on.
“Guess pway’s what I wan’d,” she said to it. Then she gestured down the hall. “S’doow. We dun’ hewe.”
The gator gulped with relief, pushed itself up onto its feet again, and crawled back out into the sun, sucking on the pacifier.
And with that as its consolation, the gator felt the experience had not quite been a total loss.
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I don't have time to read this, but I am going to read this. Because this is the cutest thing I have seen.
*Edit* I have read it, and the "Dawwws" have been doubled!
What is life?
7778859 You should! I knew I had to write something about the pic as soon as I saw it!
7778956 I believe you mean, what is best in life?
Now that was epic and cute! Behold, the mighty Limestone and gator!
I'll gladly go to war with you Limestone! TO WAR!!!
7778991
Crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women!
...
Curse you, Governator!
That was lovely and cute. I like how Limestone is so smart but silly about how she does things. I like how you made her hte oldest. I do too.
Attempted fratricide was never so adorable.
7778956
baby don't hurt me
I never expected a story to come from the "foals riding Gummy" meme, which makes me all the happier that one did. An adorable, amusing, and touching little snippet. Thank you for it.
This was excessively cute and quite a fun read.
Now excuse me while I try to get my glicemia back under control.
gummy's first experience with the pie family!!!!!
Okay, now that I've un-died, after dying from the cuteness… This is adorable. Love it.
I was under the impression Maud was the oldest Sister (Limestone being #2 or #3, as Pinkie implied she and Limestone are twins), but oh well. Story's still hnnnng!
What I loved even more, something too many writers (including the show's) miss: Cloudy Quartz's Elizabethan English is grammatically correct!
This was adorably ridiculous and funny.
7780176 Pinkie never implied Maud and Limestone are twins, only that she and Marble are and that Marble was born last
isn't maud the oldest?
I don't care that I didn't fully understand her, this was soo adorable! And that cover art!
Congrats on getting in the feature box my coffee pal! ^D^
7780176
Unfortunately, timid Marble and enthusiastic Pinkamena Diane are the twins of this particular family, not the latter and arrogant Limestone.
To be even more specific, Limestone is the oldest, followed by Maud and than the Pie Twins, with Pinkamena being born the first out of the two.
Not only is baby Limestone adorable, but I'm very impressed with the way you wrote Igneous. He's one of the hardest characters to write for.
Nice fanfic! Glad my artwork could inspire someone to write this.
This story kind of took me on a journey. I mean, I started reading it and got to, "Dupid Aud," and then I immediately thought of Abu Dhabi and I laughed. Then I read on for a little and was like, "Man the Pie family and their rocks. The rock. If you smell... that was a good movie. I should watch that." So I stopped reading and watched The Rock. Also went Christmas shopping and bought a Rainbow Rocks stage at a deeply discounted rate for a kid. Came back and stared at the same story I've been staring at for months. Then went, "Oh yeah gotta read a story. To Serve in Hell it is!"
I did that and made a comment. Watched Blood Father. Agreed with myself that Gibson's daughter was stupid in that movie. Daughter. I was reading about one. Sat back down and started over. Got as far as Igneous and misread his name as Ignatius and then said, "Ignatius Rock. I wanna rock. ROCK!" So I listened to music, mailed some bills and listened to more music, came back and read the story.
Finally, sat down read the story and nodded and enjoyed it quite a bit. Good job sir... even if I took a weird path to get there I got there and enjoyed it.
Thou hath summoned me here when I stumbled perchance upon thine blog post.
Ah, I'll give up the Igneous Pie talk.
Sweet Rainbow Dash's ponyfeathers, I haven't d'awwed that hard since My Little Dashie. (And, on the bright side, this story brought a noticeable lack of crying for hours afterwards.
)
TONIGHT
WE DINE IN THE PIE FAMILY KITCHEN!!!
Heh. On a completely unrelated note, I wonder how this would look SFMed... Eh, probably extremely stupid. SFM is cool, but just unflattering for some things.
8150363
Glorious.
Y'know what, I think this could actually make for a fun/cute SFM now that you mention it. I don't have the skillz myself, but if you know someone, by all means send this their way!
Gummy, perchance?
8163901 I was torn about whether to tag this with Gummy. Certainly it's the same tribe/family/species of gators, but Gummy's supposed to be a baby... presumably the gator Limestone subdued would at least have gotten its teeth by the time Pinkie grows up? I dunno. So I figured Pets was a safe (if imprecise) choice.
8164271 A close relative of Gummy, then?
8164347 Absolutely.
8164367 Father, brother? I NEED CONTEXT!
8164384 Uncle. Specifically the crazy uncle who tells all the little gators about his time among the Pies, and how he found them to be firm but generous overlords. One day his story and the squeaky yellow relic he keeps in his basement help inspire a very young Gummy to run away from home and seek his fortune among them.
And now you know... the rest of the story!
8164406 Great minific! So short, like... Umm... What's Gummy's uncle's name?
8164425 Unfortunately it doesn't translate well from the original Gatorish, but it's a reference to the slightly cool water currents that Gummy's uncle's mother felt on the day he hatched.
8164866 Could I get a closer translation?
8165501 Eddy
8165518 That'll do. Eddy, Gummy's uncle.
You have quite the knack for stories about Limestone. Do you plan to do stories of the other Pie sisters? So wonderfully random. I am glad I found you.
8172370 Thank you much! I didn't expect to find so much to write about with the Pie sisters, but they (and especially Limestone) seem like pretty consistent muses for me now.
I have a very short Maud-centric story in the works, and various other small ideas, but we'll see what ends up getting written!
What the heck. XD
8858245
Ha! It's been an age since I last re-read this, so thank you for prompting me to do that.
What can I say? Limestone is best pony.
Congtrats on your Seattle's Angels feature!
7780176 You're right! Although I think that use of "be" isn't Elizabethan, but Quaker? There are differences between Elizabethan English and the Quaker dialect, but I forget what they are, other than the Quaker over-use of "be" (which I think was general in early New England).
So... one gator?
8894143
Thank you for pointing that out! I don't always read the SA posts, so I didn't realize where the recent traffic was coming from.
It's great to see this old thing still getting the occasional bump. Limestone generally remains under-explored in ponyfic, and I'm glad for (almost) any additional exposure she can get. After all, she is best pony. 🍋💚
You can has review!
I is ded of kyoot.
I is ded of coot
Perfection.
Well told slice of cuteness.
I highly enjoyed the impressive sense of humor, built into a story so short.
Added to my collections and I eagerly await to add more from you, in the near future.
Simply adorable!
Absolutely adorable Baby Limestone
I can’t believe I passed it on like it was nothing. This. Is. ADORABLE!!!
9741501
Thank you so much for this, it's amazing!