Jesus, Man.

The day was very pleasantly warm, and the air was crisp, like a gemstone. Princess Celestia walked out to the courtyard of her home, the Royal Canterlot Palace. She looked up into the sky, and smiled. She took in a breath of cool, fresh Equestrian air. It sure was good to be king. Or, rather, princess. Everypony was always loyal, caring, they would even give their lives for you. They would bow down to see you, to greet you, present you with gifts, wonderful tea, treats, and luxurious foods. Your guards would all report to nopony but you, and you alone. Nothing could make the life of somepony better than being in charge. (Except Fluttershy)

“Ahh, today is wonderful. What is on my schedule for today?”

She levitated a small scroll up to her nose.

Visit Dodge Junction to ensure their cherry production shortage is valid,
Assign a few guards to clean up the graffiti on the walls of the Tea Bell shop,
Rearrange the books in private study.

“Oh dear, what a small list. Well, it looks I can take my time. For once.”

The stunning white alicorn took to the skies and called for a pegasus-pulled cart/taxi. After the fly to Dodge, she thanked the two pilots kindly, and leisurely strolled to the small ranch where the cherry production took place. The small number of trees was no big suprise; Dodge wasn't exactly the most fertile place in Equestria for growing cherries, or any kind of fruit, for that matter.

Celestia walked up to the small home where the ranchers lived. She knocked gently on the small screen door. It rattled, even with the smallest of small touches. It slowly creaked open.

“Princess!” Cherry Jubilee exclaimed. She didn't bow, but instead invited her in, “Would you like to come in?”

“Oh, ah,” The Sun-God didn't expect to be treated like a regular pony. She stumbled over her words for a moment, “Sure, Miss Jubilee.”

“I assume you're here to check up on cherry production?” She talked like the two were old friends.

“Why, yes. Your numbers have fallen just a bit shorter than last quarter. I would like to know if there is a reason.”

“Oh, of course! Yes, our South field has been inhabited by another family.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, they have their own religion. They don't exactly respect you, so I wouldn't get too close. Oh, and they keep saying the word 'Jesus'. I don't know if you're familiar, but he's supposed to take your place some day by convincing everypony you're a fraud.”

“What? This is preposterous!”

“Is it?”

“Excuse me?”

“I'm just saying, I think they're tired of your tyranny, so they call it. They want a new leader, and they say that some higher being is his father.”

“How many ponies are there?”

“Three.”

“Only three?”

“Well, yes, but they've already spread their views to most of Dodge, and I've actually converted. They seem to think pretty logical thoughts, them Hebrews.”

“Is that what they call themselves?”

“Yes, ma'am. You should talk to them.”

“I shall. What are their names?”

“The eldest is a stallion named Coltseph, his wife is Marery, and their son is Jesus.”

“Thank you. Have a nice day, and continue to make your delicious cherries!”

“I will.”

Why did she treat me so rudely?

The family was in a small house made of branches from a few trees, the roof was made of the leaves.

“Hello?” Celestia called.

“Be right there.” A feminine voice called from inside, Celestia reasoned it was Marery.

“Oh, hello ma'am.”

“Hello, Celestia.”

“Yes, it is I. I was told you have a son, and I was just wondering...”

“You're here to tell us that our belief is wrong, that our portrayal of you as a tyrant is illogical, and we should move off of the field so that the cherries may grow here.”

“Well, I, um...”

“Don't lie. If you could. Well, since you had the nerve to venture down here, I suppose you'll want the satisfaction of knowing you're right, and everypony else is wrong. Hmm?”

“No, I...”

“Well, it won't work. My husband and I have heard the word of the Jehovah, and nothing you can do will ever convince us we're wrong. And our son will overcome you. You dictator, you pig!”

Celestia's jaw dropped open. She'd never heard anything so crude in all her life.

“MISS MARERY!” she shouted, “ Not once did you allow me a word, not once did you refrence examples, and not once did you EVER prove any of those facts true. I bid you farewell, and I hope your 'Jehovah' never may speak to you again. My coming to your home was simply about an inqury for you to move, so nopony goes and starves in Dodge. How dare you, miss. How in the hoof dare you.”

Celestia turned and walked away, angrily. Marery watched with a frown.

Once Celestia returned to her home, she heard cries of a newborn king, and she silenced them immediately with her guards. She felt threatened. Her people might stop their worship of their alicorn ruler. She decided to imply new laws. All who spoke negatively of Celestia were punished with jail time, and any who were violent were sentenced to hard labor. All through the night, she heard cry after cry of “Down with Celestia! The savior is coming!”, and couldn't stand to hear a single word of it.

In time, the cries for the new savior died down. Celestia proved herself, once more, to be the most intelligent in all of Equestria, when she denounced Jesus, and proved him a fraud. Her words stung the so-called prophet and savior like a hornet's sting

Not until the Canterlot Post's headline read, “Christ Commits Holy Suicide on Behalf of Celestia's proof of his Fraud.” did she smile. And never since has she smiled more. However guilty she may have have felt, it was still good to be the princess. And no poser of a prophet could change that.

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