My life is in shambles. Downstairs behind the fridge I have a noose made, just in case I decide to just quit. Outside, in my personal shed, lies my sanctuary, and my prison. I am a brony. I am proud. But being proud only gets you so far. Past that line that proud draws lies the others. They cross that line, and it almost kills me. No one wants to help. Not even my "Friends" they laugh at me as well. But my life soon changes. I have to lock my shed a lot more often. And I gain a true friend.
Author's note: This is one of my first fic's that isn't a "In one night". If you leave a dislike, please tell why. I need feedback to make this great.
Chapters (19)
And suddenly: Brony
And suddenly: Pony
And suddenly: Brony cares for pony
And suddenly: Author expects us to D'aww
And suddenly: Scootaloo draws instead of dances
And suddenly: WE HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOUR CHARACTERS ARE
And suddenly: Pony has nightmares
And suddenly: Person moves out and surprises pony
And suddenly: Pony knows how to fly
Don't get me wrong, It's not bad. It's just average. And by average, I mean dead average. Other than that, you don't need a period after a question mark. That just doesn't make sense.
It's okay, and it's better than most of the New Story drivel I see. So more power to ya.
Oh god. This make me Dawww so bad. Jebus Krist you make good stories
This is an amazing story. I would give anything to have a filly javascript:smilie('
');
>>Mr. Ignorable
C'mon. It's a great story, and to me it stands out more or less.
The characters are obvious
Main character - Brony
Scootaloo - Pony
Mom- Mom
Brandon - Mom's boyfriend
Friends - Assholes
840048 Yes but nobody wants to read it except you.
And let me tell you why. First off: HiE or EIH whatever. There are so many that Asia's collectively going DAYUM.
Two: Three words for you buddy: MLD.
Three: CHARACTERS THAT WE HAVE SOME INCENTIVE TO INVEST IN. DON'T JUST ESTABLISH YOUR CHARACTER WITH NAMEPLATES LIKE "hi my name is --" IT'S NOT INTRODUCTION TIME AT THE WATER COOLER IT'S A STORY!
And on this subject, let me describe to you a story which this author has SOME parts down. 1: A pacing set by the author to guide readers along until they get a sufficient feel for the story and its dynamics. This does not have that.
2: As mentioned before, characters.
What this author does in fact have: is feeling. The story did get to me in some sense of the word, and with a bit of help, it can be one of the good HiEs. But it needs a loooot of work.
This fic was surprisingly mesmirizing. I'm sure that if you fixed up the first chapter a bit that you would get a lot more veiws.
:/
840038
nightmare..................mindfuckery of the most tiresome kind............for some reason i imagined scoots pulling off a "dynamic entry" (if get the reference) into that robbers face....
841656 and remember, this is based off a dream I keep having. Inceptionic mindfuckery in its purest forme.
839850 Speaking of the dancing thing. Really it is based on the upbringing of the person (pony in this case). and I never wanted you to d'aww, The main character just d'aww'd
840157 MLD is an acronym, so that would be one word.
Scootaloo... NUUUUUUUUU.
annnnnnnd misinterpretation n lack of tactful communication has once again ruined a good feelings..........kick those guys azzes.......payback is due......
Well, when reading the comments I was expecting a crapfest. So far, so good.
D'aww-ing right now...
Well, this is good. Even with all the grammar/spelling errors.
Personally, I think you were way too soft on your attacker
918471 Didn't want to spend too much time fighting, and character's first fight.
Mind block, I will write when I can.
Sorry, took forever, we moved to a new place, and I finally found my laptop.
Welcome back
Boy, those guys are persistent huh? Should have him carry around an MG42 and buzzsaw those nimrod's car in half the next time they show up.
Just sayin.
1417436
The main char didn't grow up a violent person.
Besides, who is going to believe them that they got their asses handed to them?
Might add nails to the paddle.
kidnapping? Awww, come on Celestia.
1607945
1607955 will you make a 1000 word chapter?
1609605
I rarely find the time to type.
I mean, I started this in July.
Maybe once I am on a break, so like, next week.
well ...........fuck
Eagerly awaiting next chapter
Fuck so close
Kinda weird thinking of an Applejack that smiles when hurting others.
2337709
-----------------------------
Well two chapters in one night. I'm going to call it a night, and get started on ideas for the long chapters.
2337865 Long chapters
? Normally I prefer shorter chapters, but something about this story makes me want longer ones. Maybe it's because this one actually has shorter chapters 
? Anyway, will the long chapters have more fighting? Because this chapter was hilarious 
!
2339388
Maybe more fighting, Seeing as they have no memory of their (failed) payback.
There will still be short chapters though. Because I only write at night.
If I were to spend a day writing, this story would be over and done.
10,000 words!
2343755
Timmy fell in the inkwell. Thanks lassie.
2337709
No kiddin'.
Maybe he would benefit more from this static.strategyinformer.com/r/article_images/original/488.jpg
I wouldn't come back if someone was swingin' that at me.
No chapter for the next 23 hours. MLP MARATHON AT MAH PC!
My Interactive Dashie is keeping me company as I write my next chapter.
That and my dog is keeping my legs warm.
Laptop broke
so no new chapter for a little while. Writing this on kindle fire.
Chapter was a chore. Typed it on a kindle fire.
Computer fixed!
And it isbroke again.