• Member Since 24th Dec, 2011
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Bandy


Mixed greens and poison ivy salad, rocket fuel vinaigrette | Hundred-proof spirits from the fountain of wisdom | Iced Ko-Fi, scalding glances.

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Trouble looms in post-war paradise. Rarity’s overly generous sales strategy coupled with her unsavory dealings in the illegal Equestrian fur trade have sunk her deep into debt. With every day bringing her closer to homelessness, she is forced to assume her ex-life as a highbrow thief under the hoof of Equestria's last great crime lord, Don Noir.

Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle searches for a way to help her friend. Her solution: bank robbery! Teaming up with a disgraced and disfigured con-pony, Twilight dives headfirst into the murky depths of the Equestrian underworld. Will she be able to sort everything out by the time Rarity's rent is due? Or will she wind up behind bars just in time to see Rarity wind up on the streets?

Set seven years after a cataclysmic war between pony and griffonkind, An Artist Among Animals chronicles a leader’s descent into corruption, a coward criminal’s mad dash for redemption, a broken veteran's struggle to save his soul, and an artist’s battle to retain her morals while still finding a way to make tons of cash.

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Cover art by Acreuball.

Chapters (31)
Comments ( 8 )

Ooh! This looks really interesting! I can't read this right now since I'm at work, but it's going straight to my Reading shelf!

Comment posted by Starlight Nova deleted Mar 4th, 2017

The opening was extremely confusing--it was probably a thousand words before I figured out Caramel wasn't on the balcony with the Princess & guards. It nowhere states that he isn't, and this line:

The guard chuckled. Caramel nearly slipped. “Always the politician, my dear.”

means that Caramel is the one who said “Always the politician, my dear.” When you write dialogue in quotes right after a character performs an action, it means that character is the one speaking.

Several things happened at the same time. The pony, sensing she was had, twirled around the column and smiled. Caramel yanked a knife from his boot and said, “I’ll kill you.” A shout echoed up the stairwell, followed by the sound of scuffling metal shoes.

This and the following paragraphs are also pretty confusing, since Caramel has no reason to think the other pony has the real crystal heart, nor do we ever find out why the guards are coming.

(I'm also kinda wondering in what way this is "pony", like, so far it feels like something I'd like more if it didn't use ponies. That's a tricky question, though.)

The things Twilight do for friendship...

Dimestore war novel-level writing. Nothing compelling about any of it. Half the conversations and trains of thought are difficult to understand and often jump about, clearly and awkwardly TRYING to appear 'natural' without succeeding.

There's also no trace of 'Equestria' in this story. It's just a random fictional post-war story with ponies instead of people. Is that supposed to make us feel more sympathy for them, simply because they're characters we recognize from the show?

"War and Peace" this ain't. This is not how you structure a darker story off a world populated by pastel ponies and princesses. We must see the actual character as more than a collection of physical traits and tropes. These characters are so alien they might as well be anything other than ponies. Take this line: "The dresses were great, but the possibility of sewing herself into them on accident kept her excited." That is CLEARLY inspired by the LittleMissRarity Tumblr of years past... and has nothing to do with the actual character or how she would develop after experiencing war. Not to mention, even a masochist doesn't get excited about a possibility that is rather remote unless you're TRYING to hurt yourself, in which case it's not a 'risk' in the first place if that's what is being intended. Rarity even thinking that tends to imply she'll do it purposefully. It's a very bizarre phrase and just one example of the strange phrasing everywhere in this story.

Honestly i never get these 'x mane six is in debt' situation. They kinda have earned some brownie points with...... the nation. the world...... reality itself maybe?

Applejack nodded slowly and said, “We both have to think of the big picture.” She looked down, and Twilight noticed a hint of shame in her eyes. “I suppose I could spare my pension from the ration department. You have a princess stipend too, I’m sure. Dash gets ...a...pension too.”

Ration Department is a name, probably should be capitalized

“I have to be adamant about this. The indictment about the ration department almost killed me. I can’t survive in prison, Twilight. I belong out here. You can’t overreact.”

“I do too, Twilight, I do too. But in order to help her, we’re gonna need to break a few rules.” Twilight saw his eyes as he leaned closer. Brushstrokes of green splashed in his eyes. “You figured that much else (out) by yourself, yes?” he asked, tapering his voice to barely more than a whisper.

This was something else. For the first time in a while, I'm really not sure how I feel, but thank you for writing.

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