Program Eighteen
Entry Eighteen
Family
I didn't have anyone in mind to show these entries to when I made them, but I still wanted to document everything that happened with Gilda. I now had both my daughters back, and the rocky road of rebuilding relationships was coming. On top of that, Chell had obviously gone through some truly awful things up on the surface...things we would have to correct. But there was time enough for that once we knew what we would be dealing with. For now, I watched while the two sisters bonded.
Once Chell got a hold of herself and stopped weeping, Gilda stepped back awkwardly. "...wanna talk about it, sis?" she asked carefully.
"N-not yet," Chell stammered out. "I...I just got my voice back. I...I want to use it for something happy, first."
"Fair enough," Gilda agreed. "So what do you want to talk about?"
Chell opened her mouth to speak, then paused. Closing her mouth, she rubbed her chin, scratched her head...and then burst into uncontrollable laughter. "Irony, maybe?" she gasped out as she convulsed in pleased paroxysms.
"Why irony?" Gilda asked, confused.
"When I woke up as a test subject, I refused to speak as an act of defiance," Chell gasped out her explanation between laughs. "Then when I woke up the second time, atrophy had destroyed my vocal chords, and I'd have given anything to be able to speak. And now I have my voice back...and I have no clue what to say!"
Gilda chuckled a bit at that, though she didn't really follow the humor. "We could talk about your voice," she offered, holding up a device she was clutching in one talon that looked like a cross between a heavy-duty hypodermic needle and a dirk. "I'm pretty proud of pulling that one off."
"Did you make it?" Chell asked, startled.
"Nah, artificial voice boxes were perfected back before Mom took over, according to Mom," Gilda explained. "Course, the original was so big it involved surgically removing your throat, lungs, and diaphragm for supplementary systems. This was the miniaturized version." She held up the device in her talons. "This is the delivery system," she explained, giving the handle a squeeze.
The pointed tip shot out like a nail gun with a loud 'ch-clack!' Chell jumped back in shock. "The fuck?" she demanded as she swung her Gravity Gun up to defend herself.
"See, normally I'd have to slip it in while you were immobile, but given how you acted previous times you were here, I seriously doubted you'd trust me enough to go under the knife," Gilda explained. "But the artificial voice box was the only thing I had to earn your trust with, so I needed to figure out how to get it in you without knocking you out. After studying human anatomy, I realized that if I could cut your throat open, I'd be able to see well enough to place the box with pinpoint accuracy no matter how you were moving...so the hard part became sealing your throat back up afterwards so you didn't bleed out."
"And that's where Different's laser came in?" Chell asked curiously, rubbing her throat. She paused, running her hand over the surprisingly smooth, unblemished flesh. "Why isn't there a scar?" she demanded.
"Cause it wasn't a laser," Gilda explained. Squeezing a different part of the grip, an almost silent 'sprtz' sound accompanied by a fine gray mist coming out of the tip resulted. "Nano-spray. Nanites programmed to break down completely a few minutes after application, with completely blank programs...until they're exposed to a specific coded-light pulse to give them a command prompt. The only hard part was programming Different's laser pointer for the coded-light pulse."
Chell rubbed her throat again, marveling at how such advanced technology had both been applied and hidden from her own senses. She'd thought she was dead, which had altered her senses a great deal. That was why she'd missed that almost silent spray of nanites. "So...you knew it would work, then?"
"I had no idea!" Different piped up playfully, her voice now very familiar to Chell as she was relaxed enough to recognize it.
Chell shook her head as Gilda burst into laughter. "So...I saw the videos about the Test designing..."
"Did you want a crack at it?" Gilda asked hopefully. "I'd love to see what you made to test my limits!"
Chell covered her eyes. "N-no, thank you. I...the things that I would base the chambers I came up with on...I don't want to contaminate this place with any of that. Down here...it's still clean."
Tilting her head, Gilda twisted the Portal Emitter on the tip of her tail and fired off a portal. Reaching through, she yanked Cuddle Core out of her nest and shoved it into Chell's arms. "Here," she stated firmly. "Not as many corners as your Companion Cube, and chewing on the ears is really therapeutic."
Chell stared in shock. "But...but it's yours," Chell pointed out.
"And you're my sis," Gilda countered bluntly. "Cuddle Core's a lot easier to fix than you are." Grabbing Chell by her belt, she yanked the girl to the floor before curling up to her back, wrapping her wings around her.
Chell blinked in shock, curling up instinctively around Cuddle Core as it let out purling whines and other playful animal noises. The overwhelming comfort being offered, the sense of home, of belonging...it was too much for Chell. Lunging in, she bit down hard on one of the ears as she felt more gentle tears pouring down her cheeks, to keep herself from bawling aloud.
Oddly enough, Gilda was right. Chewing on the ear was therapeutic...almost like sucking on one's thumb or a pacifier, but less helpless feeling...
Glados stared through the cameras at her two daughters as Gilda helped Chell through the hardest parts of her reacclimation. Glados had already set up what she'd felt were necessary, once Gilda brought her sister in. Cave hovered beside her in silence for a time. "Are...are you sure about this?" Cave asked finally. "It's a huge departure from Testing protocol...and how you've acted towards her outside of Testing protocol..."
"Once I remembered who I was, and who she was, I did what I did to protect her," Glados replied. "Before I remembered, it was just a job. But no one puts my girls through hell but me. When she's ready to tell us about what happened, we will learn all we can about the forces on the surface - I am sure they are connected to the Combine the moron spoke of - and then we will move to cleanse them."
"Couldn't agree more," Cave confirmed. "Looks like they're coming."
Glados dimmed the lights. As Gilda brought Chell into the room, all that was visible were five glowing optics - Glados, Cave, Assphalt, Pea-Brain, and the gold-optic construction drone dubbed Derp Face - and light from a single candle. Glados remained deathly quiet until she heard Chell ask, "What's going on-"
"Blow out the candle, Chell," Glados interrupted, pitching her voice to be not that of Glados, but that of Caroline. "It's been waiting for you for a long time."
Stunned, Chell walked slowly towards the candle, close enough to see it was sitting atop a black forest cake with real strawberries glistening in a circle around the edge. In disbelief, Chell leaned forward and blew out the candle...and the lights came up.
Cave hovered beside the cake, with Assphalt and Pea-Brain standing to either side. Derp Face waved happily from the corner of the room before tripping over its own feet and landing face first in a punch bowl with a shout of 'My bad!' Glados hung from the ceiling, a banner clutched in her talons with a simple message that spoke volumes.
'Welcome Home'
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D'aw!
Man, these last few chapters have been some serious mood whiplash.
Aww!
Soon... Combine will get fucked up
That ending
This chapter really hits home.
okay, curious question I just thought of: are they going to try and replicate the Gravity Gun that Chell managed to bring with her? something tells me that against the Combine, they're going to need every advantage they can get/take...
also:
I'm reminded of TF2's "Meet the Medic (relevant part: 2:56 - 3:03)
...okay: I THINK I can hold off on my D'aww meter exploding long enough to get in a few quick remarks:
okay: how long until Derp Face makes a request for muffins?
good to know that for once, the cake WASN'T a lie...
...I'd say this is a step in the right direction...
...huh: I actually couldn't have timed that any better if I tried...
1)
2)
3) it is often said that home is where the heart is, or rather where it is most content...
4) the Combine might not know it yet, but Chell and company are going take the lemons it threw at her and...
quirkyscience.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Explosion-Image-by-US-Department-of-Defense.jpg
hooray, music go
7991368 I don't know about the gravity gun, especially dissembling it. I believe in its core it holds a floating crystal that is on no accounts aloud to touch the sides, or something really terrible happens, I can't remember what, but I think it was reality destroying bad.
Its not as if they could get a hold of crystals to make more anyway, I don't think they are an earth mineral.
not as if they need any more edges anyway, what with super armoured combat suits, and a seemingly unlimited amount of expendable robotics...
... I am suddenly visualising endless columns of super battle droids done up in white and with the aperture logo... I am ok with this mental image.
7991399 ...fair enough, especially considering that Chell is the only one who would REALLY know how to use the device: quality over quantity, after all...
Understandable.
What's so funny?
Huh, I suppose it is kinda funny in a way.
That's about the reaction I expected.
So, what you're saying is,
... You, could use therapy.
She has a valid point.
Interesting protectiveness.
The cake ISN'T a lie. You beautiful bastard!
This might be the single most destructive family in the PWNY-verse yet.
And yes, I am including both the Sparkles from Veldin and Pinkamena Dianne God of War
7991399
7991431
considering that Gilda managed to break open something at least similar sounding to a portal way back when she "learned" chemistry early on.. I'd guess they could probably manage to harvest some to make hybrid Portal/Gravity Guns if they decide on that route.
7991438 ... I am now imagining Gilda and Chell with RYNOs and it is horrifying...
7991552 Try glorious!
Welp, this chapter cleared up the qualm I had about the 'slash her throat, shove something in, and seal it up' method of installing the voice box. Obviously you planned that explanation ahead of time. Nice.
And yeah, my D'aww meter went off. Finally, the cake was NOT a lie.
7991552
What about Rainbow Dash Stark getting a look at them also? The proto suit version will soon put to shame War Machine.
7991438 You are forgetting about TF2's Fluttershy as well...while they aren't that big on destruction, they are very dangerous.
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the great work. Deus tecum.
ooooo fresh test subjects
You're right but you're still wrong.
So the cake wasn't a lie after all. Very heartwarming...
7991616
7991636 No love for Vinyl Scratch Wily?
Warm fuzzy feelings... though I think the image of Chell and Gilda both curled around Cuddle Core is an adorable one. Damn it, now I need a Cuddle Core again....
Glad to see Chell finally get that cake. I suggest the next test is "How many cakes can a human and gryphon eat all together and who can eat more." followed by "how long can a human take a shower or bath before turning wrinkley", and then "what type of armor works best for humans???"
I can't wait to see PWNY Gilda, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash trade notes on how to eradicate alien menaces and what they can come up with working together. But I bet it rips the universe a new one.
I know it probably won't happen, but I would love if when they go out to fight the Combine, they run into these guys.
I'm glad to see that even after years of being mute, her first reaction to being surprised is to curse. It's nice to see some things are just too instinctive to atrophy.
I can't wait to see them kick some Combine ass.
To be honest, I'd take any ass-kicking, but the Combine particularly deserve it.
7991870 You have just suggested a nightmare to any who wishes to harm Equestria. That or universle destruction on a scale hat not even Orvis could stop.
7991870
PWNY Twilight (Ratchet's daughter), Gilda, Rainbow (Stark), Vinyl (Wily), and Rarity (Wayne a.k.a. Batmare) are all inventive as Hell!
PWNY Pinkie (daughter of Kratos), Shining (brother of Jak), Fortresshy, Spike (Aran), Octavia (Light), and Applejack (Sparda) are all dangerous frontline fighters.
PWNY Moonie (Wreck-It Ralph's daughter), Trixie (Freelance Police), Chryssi (with Cray-Chry and Stuffalis), Coco (Cooper), Discord (Daedric King), Cadance (daughter of Iroh), and the CMCs are all wildcard types.
And we have yet to see Celly, who I think Tatsurou planned on giving to Jean-Luc Picard ... unless he changed that plan ... another for the "inventive" pile. Did I miss anypony in this listing?
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!
7991870 After that cake test, you get a secondary test of "if a human and gryphon eat as much cake as they can, how long until they have to go to the bathroom".
The cake is no longer a lie.
7991917
I'm pretty sure he's gonna give Sunset Shimmer to Fox McCloud.
The cake was not a lie
7992198
Derpy is going to the Dirty Pair/"Lovely Angels", Kei and Yuri .... oh dear gods!
And Big Macintosh going to Goku and Chi Chi to be raised alongside Gohan ... ...
I think this song goes good with this chapter.
7992547 indeed it does good sir/madam. Indeed it does.
7991822 Sorry...was focusing on those has some semblance of military training and first one that came to mind was Fortresshy...I knew I was forgetting a few...
I can see how the Aperture attack will work out. After all, the Combine has never seen a griffon before, they have never thought about fighting four intelligent robots (Glados, Cave, the Co-op Duo), and they have certainly never heard about Aperture.
In fact, I'm pretty sure with Aperture's close range portals, Gilda's still-experimental universe portals, Combine portals, and the Chell/Freeman duo will take them out.
...
WHERE IS THE FREE MAN IS HE HIDING DOWN THERE TOO!?
7993699
Someone got the reference!
Wasn't it canon that the combine were AFRAID of Aperture? The technology they had? That's why the Borealis was so valuable?
7993837
Quite possibly.
But that's assuming Cave and Glados are aware of that.
...but don't worry. We'll soon see the Combine had good reason.
7993839
Indeed. Eli was scared too. Judging just by the portal games, I can see why. The teleportation technology that Aperture has is extremely powerful. It's portable and instantaneous, both back and forth. Limitless. The only teleporters we encounter in Half Life cannot be moved, are bulky, require a lot of power and time to charge
I wonder how the portal gun works. Kleiner's explanation of the resistance teleporter was, if I remember correctly, "Using the border world Xen as a slingshot back into local space", similar to how spacecraft slingshot themselves around a planet or satellite.
The portal gun doesn't seem to do that, as it wouldn't be instantaneous in that case, nor would you be able to see yourself.
It's also interesting in that's there's a large difference between the two. What's used in Half Life is teleportation, whereas in Portal it's, well, portals. I called it teleportation before, but when you think about it. It's not at all teleportation.
I bet there have been a lot of theories as to what is on the Borealis. But what if it's not as complicated as a super weapon? What if it's just a portal gun? And other Aperture devices?
We may never know.
7993636 he is probably dead dead deeead. Thats why no half life 3
7993865 A ship filled with portal guns?
I though the Borealis has a big portal emitter?
Say, I have a suggestion for Sombra that I hope might be useful to you. Have him end up in the Nasuverse alongside Shirou during the Great Fuyuki Fire. It wipes him clean of whk he used ti be, and alongside his new brother he either hopes to find a path to follow, or works to become a Hero of Justice as well. An interesting plot point you could use would be how, since only one Avalon exists, perhaps new clean slate Sombra has to contend with some shade of Angra Mainyu inside himself much like Sakura Matou, or even better allow him to achieve a reality marble, but have it start out as some corrupted version of the Crystal Empire until he is cleansed of the influence of the Zoroastrian God of All The Worlds Evils. This could all be brought to a head during the Fifth Grail War by Archer who may or may not have, during his time as a Counter Guardian, had to take down a corrupted version of Sombra at full power. Please take this into consideration and have a pleasant day Tatsurou.
7994987
That's possible too. But what about all the shipping containers.
7996725
One, I have no idea what series you're talking about.
Two, Sombra's already slotted for Final Fantasy 4.
Three, story suggestions go on my user page, not unrelated stories.
HING! My heart!
It wasn't a lie...
7993708 XD I got that too! sollace.github.io/emoticons/fimfic/nerdgasm-d72140i.png