- Member Since 15th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen Nov 22nd, 2022
Keystroke
I love ponies, big band music(fallout), dubstep, and this site.
Keystroke
Joined 15th Dec, 2011 ·
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That video was a nice re-use of Lollipop Chainsaw audio. I seriously wondered if someone was gonna use it.
onto reading...
Edit: Eh, not really all that great. Kinda creepy, I'll give you that. Sound, short, weirdly formatted. Keep up and try a few other things until it works perfectly and go with that. I'm not the greatest writer myself so my word doesn't really matter though.
Scary use of that nail. I was screaming on the inside while I read that part.
850973 When I saw that video a week ago, I knew that was what the nail was for. I haven't read the story yet, I'm not going to, but I know what is going to happen. I didn't realize this was about that video when I was about to start reading, but I put two and two and two together and it added up to "GETTHEFUCKOUTOFHERENOW!"
851056 That is seriously nasty. And scary. Real scary. That is quite the disturbing kink.
i saw an spell error but fuck it i could not sleep because of this story i think it was great except for bdsm part i hate that kind of sex so with no further do will give you my like
keep making story so awesome
851081 I finally was able to set my petty cowardice aside and read the story.
Pretty well written, except for the fact that you used the return key after every fifteen words and almost always in the middle of a sentence, which broke the flow just a tiny bit. Clean that up and you will have a very nice clopfic here.
I read the comments speaking of nails and scary videos...oh IT.IS.ON!!! BRING.IT.OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EDIT: ಠ_ಠ
Well....I gues you could say that guy got....
( •_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
NAILED!
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!
( •_•)>⌐■-■
( ಠ_ಠ)>⌐■-■ ~Everytime...
It was pretty good. The only problem was the format. Otherwise it was pretty gppd.
As soon as I read the nail bit... Sweet Luna, I'm gonna have nightmares....
I wrote this for several reasons. One: So i could finally start writing.
Two: I wrote this because i had a, 'I have to write a fic about that now' moment.
Three: So I could get criticism and help on how to write better.
Thanks for reading it.(or clicking it, freaking out and running to another page)
I don't write gore, I just wanted to stay with the theme of the video. I don't read it unless it's really well written like this: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/6354/Not-My-Destiny---Grimdark-Ending.
Thanks everybody.
wow, i just realized, i pasted this into the editor on this site from my notepad, and it screwed up the format something fierce. i'll fix it.
Things you need to change:
Format
The (underline) part, I know what you were trying to do but use the actual underline function.
Verb tense agreement
The ending needs improvement
Still a good plot (No pun in tended), just try and expand it a little.
852377 I was about to say the same thing about format. Also, does anypony here think Fluttershy is much better in a clopfic than Twi?
852377
Do you mind helping me? And thanks for pointing out errors.
852620 Course not. I guess you want me to proof read for you?
Ok hold on... nail to the urethra... no wounds... IMPOSSIBRU!
853838 I wasn't even aware that fetish existed... Who the buck thought that up?!
855213
The BDSM community did. trust me, i'm not that messed up.
855294
I didn't think you were, I saw the video. It just proves that you can think of ANYTHING in the world and there will be a fetish for it.
true, true. i learned some things from someone who read this. 1, never use notepad. and 2, i need to work on grammar
(sad aint it)
Thank you, for making me bite through my tounge at the nail point in this troll fic. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to curl up in a ball in the corner and tell myself everything is gonna be alright now.
856445
Youre very welcome!
something amazing just happened to me. i found out that you can like your own stories.
Dafuq did I just read?
no just no!