Truth
Trigger Warning: Discussion of Suicidal Thoughts
A week had passed since the drama of the Friendship Games. The five girls had happily welcomed the Twilight of their world into the group and watched with amusement as she met her inter-dimensional double.
They had introduced their new friend to the music room and the band. It had gone well, Twilight had started off a little nervous as she sang, but with the encouragement of her friends, she had gotten more confident.
They had called time after an hour of playing about, there was homework to get done and it was getting close to time for the school to be locked for the night.
Weekend plans were the subject now. Meet-ups and parties were mostly the idea. “Oh, I can bring Sweetie Belle along for that, she's dreadfully certain that she'll have a talent for bowling.” Rarity laughed, Pinkie Pie had suggested the location.
“Ah'll bring Applebloom too. She's keen to get out and trying every darn thing she can turn her hand to.” Applejack added.
“Heh, I'll have to see if Scoots wants to tag along.” Rainbow said, “If those two are there then she'll want to go.”
“Great!” Pinkie bounced on her heels. “So that's Rares and AJ and Dashie, Sweetie, Scoots and Applebloom. How about you Twi-Twi? 'Shy? Sunset?” The ball of energy looked across to her other friends.
“Um, bowling sounds nice.” Fluttershy replied. “I'll find out when I'm needed at the shelter and we can make a time.”
“I can get Shining of Cadence to take me to the bowling alley and meet you guys.” Twilight looked pleased. “I've not been bowling since I was small.”
The girls looked to Sunset, holding toone hand to her elbow she thought for a moment. “I, uh, I'll have to check with Mom and see if I've got my assignments done...” She dropped off as puzzled and incredulous expressions focused on her.
“Don't you want to come?” Pinkie asked, slightly less bouncy. “You don't usually have homework to get in the way of fun.”
“You went out last weekend no problems.” Rainbow said, she had narrowed her eyes and looked at Sunset.
“If you don't mind me saying, darling, but it seems that you always have some way to avoid our little events that the girls are attending.” Rarity pointed out.
“Yeah, Ah have to say, it happened before too. You missed the meal at the farm two weeks ago. You had to do assignments then. After Ah'd said that everyone was coming.” Applejack said.
Sunset felt herself getting backed into a corner. “I, uh... It's been bad luck and coincidence?”
Rainbow shook her head. “It can't happen all of those times and never when it is just us.” She pulled a face. “D'you still hate 'em or something?”
“You shouldn't be holding such a grudge on them you know.” Rarity said.
“Considering how much we forgave.” Applejack let slip.
“Yeah, they did say sorry.” Rainbow added.
“Maybe she's just uncomfortable with them?” Fluttershy suggested softly, a little drowned out by Pinkie's contribution.
“You should come along so we can have a Sorry Party!” Pinkie jumped up. More words were thrown around and it was setting Sunset's head buzzing. She pressed her hands to her head, she'd kept all of this secret for months now. Avoiding the situations that could turn awkward, but her friends had noticed...
“I almost killed myself.” Sunset blurted out. Silencing the discussion and drawing gasps of horror and confusion from her friends. “After letting go of all that rage and the thirst for power, sadness and regret filled me up.” She felt hands take hers, though she was unseeing, looking into the past with her mind's eye. “The harmony, the elements? They showed me everything, all the pain and sadness I had inflicted on others. I hated myself, so much. On my darkest days it felt like it would be the right thing to do.”
A soft touch, Fluttershy, dabbed tears from her cheeks and led her to a seat. “But I had you all, I had friends who loved me and cared for me. It was an arm that held me back. From... from that.” She stumbled a moment on her words. “I- I was worried though. What if all this wonderful new chance, this new life... What if it was only there to be swept away from me? A true punishment for my actions. Exactly what I deserved.”
Sat beside her, Fluttershy was stroking her back and holding her close. Twilight was at her other side, two hands clutching Sunset's. “I let my life outside of school be as meagre as I deserved, but at least with you all, I had something to live for.” She sobbed then, unable to hold it back. “Then that profile came about. All the broken trust, the shared secrets and arguments... Then accusations - no one believed me! Everyone thought it was me.”
“We... We did exactly as you feared.” Rarity said, paler than usual, a hand covering her mouth. “We left you, sent you away even.” She had been standing back since the outburst, close to Rainbow Dash and Applejack, just as shocked and unsure. Now the designer took a seat, slumping in a manner quite unlike her usual poise.
“I had no one and I had nothing. I was scared to disappoint Princess Twilight, all she had asked of me was to learn about friendship and instead I had lost it all.” Sunset took a shuddering breath. “Rock bottom had snared me again, but this time I didn't have a friend to pull me out.”
“Sunset...” Fluttershy spoke softly, she could feel the physical effects of her friend's emotional turmoil. Helpless, she could only stroke red-gold hair and hold the girl up as she shuddered and shook.
“I was so close, so close to stepping off the roof.” She looked up, bloodshot eyes observing the three shocked girls, a wilted Pinkie Pie, a worried Fluttershy and Twilight so conflicted with concern and anger. “Mom was just in time, she saved me. Before she even knew she was saving me.”
“Now I just worry... I'm scared of them doing it again! What if I am one step away from making them hate me again? There could be some new way... Something that will push me so far.” Sunset was in pieces, her head limp, she could only lean on Fluttershy. Her soft whispers and gentle touch keeping Sunset back from the edge. Twilight had such a grip around her too, a lifeline that grounded her. Someone who had chosen to be her friend even after hearing the whole of her dark deeds.
“Who are you scared of?” Twilight asked. She rested her head on Sunset's shoulder, holding close to her sobbing friend.
“Those three... They made it look like me, they designed the profile to look like it was me.” Sunset couldn't look up. “Why did they hate me so much? Because I was spending time with you guys...” She sobbed again. “So now, what happens if they pick something new?”
“I didn't know. Didn't think.” Rainbow said, anger directed at herself coloured her voice. She kicked at the ground, scuffing her shoes on the floor.
“It hurts and I keep telling myself it shouldn't hurt anymore, but I still do.” Sunset seemed oblivious to everyone now, once the floodgates had opened it had become hard to close. “I'm always so worried, about slipping and being left again, or something gets blamed on me.” She sobbed. “Fluttershy was the only one to say sorry. She's the only one.” Sunset held onto her friend.
Fluttershy felt the girl shudder again. “Let it out.” She whispered, gently stroking the red and gold hair. There was little else that could be done now, but she was getting to wonder if it would be better to take the girl to her mother and aunt.
“Please say you aren't feeling so bad as that though, not anymore right?” Pinkie Pie knelt level with Sunset, her hair was flat and her eyes tear-filled. “I'm so sorry for then, for what I said. And what I did and what I didn't do.” She sniffed a little. “Please?”
“I'm doing better.” Sunset blinked away her own tears and stretched out a shaking hand to rest on Pinkie's shoulder. “I've had a doctor to see and pills to help. I've got a family now.”
“We all have a lot to think about.” Applejack said. The first words she had spoken since Sunset revealed her secret. “Ah know Ah do.” She picked up her guitar case. “Sorry Sunset. If it counts for much.” She reached a hand over and placed it on Sunset's back. After a mumble from her friend, Applejack left the practise room.
Rainbow passed next. “I let you down Sunset. And that... I, suck for that. I'm sorry. You're my coolest friend and I screwed up.” Still, the redhead didn't look up, Fluttershy gave her oldest friend a weak smile and Rainbow nodded. This she understood at least. “I won't let you down again.”
When Rainbow left the room, Twilight and Fluttershy looked to their other friends. Pinkie had stood and gone to Rarity, still slumped on the piano stool she'd sat upon in such a sloppy way. The designer was softly sobbing too. Of the three closest to the issue, she was the most emotional. “Sunset. I can't even begin to apologise enough.” Rarity said softly. “We'll, deal with this, somehow.”
She stood slowly and walked over to the redhead, kneeling down to be level with her. “I am so deeply sorry darling.” Gently seeking, she found Sunset's hands with her own and clasped them tightly. There was no return grip so she spoke softly again, not hiding the emotion in her voice. “You are a most dear friend Sunset, I could not bear to lose you. Our actions were ill thought out and childish and I truly apologise from my heart.”
Almost imperceptibly, Sunset gripped her hands and Rarity felt a tear-streaked cheek against her neck as her friend leaned forward to hug her. “It hurt, it can still hurt.” She whispered. Rarity looked to the other girls, Fluttershy and Twilight still had an arm around the girl.
“We're here for you now darling and I will always be there for you in future.” She promised and Rarity always kept her promises. It was almost a physical pain, the realisation of what she had done to her friend.
“Thank you Rarity.” Sunset whispered, her voice was almost lost to her tears it seemed. The redhead drew back and Rarity caught a sight of reddened eyes. She didn't voice it, but Rarity knew she was going to have words with her sister.
The door swung open. “Pinkie Pie came to fetch me.” Principal Celestia was in the doorway, but Rarity could see with her keen eye for detail that this was Celestia the Mother, not the educator. She drew back to let her teacher see to her daughter.
With hushed words and guiding hands, comforting arms and gestures, Sunset was guided from the room by her mother. It left three friends who had learned a lot that day.
“I heard a little of what happened before.” Twilight said quietly. “But I had no idea how much it was hurting her.”
“No one did.” Fluttershy said, she sighed. “I apologised to her as soon as I could and I had thought you others had too.”
“I can be far too self-centred at times.” Rarity said, she had her eyes closed. “Hopefully I have gone some way to earning forgiveness. I wasn't lying to say I couldn't lose a friend like Sunset.” Fluttershy gave her a small smile and hugged her.
“I think she appreciated that.” Flutteshy looked to the clock then. “I think we all need a hot coco. If that's alright?”
“It sounds like just the thing after a moment like this.” Rarity agreed. “Twilight?”
“Yeah... I think I can join you.” Twilight looked up, she had been on her phone. “I was texting Sunset. I hope she'll be feeling a bit better soon.” Having her own issues to deal with, she understood a relapse like this.
The three girls left the school building, collecting a fourth as Pinkie Pie joined them. Their excitable friend was not quite as bouncy, but was already brimming with ideas of a way to make up to Sunset the best way she knew how.
Hopefully their friend would be feeling more herself soon enough.
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Well, I can believe a relapse occurring. I've never experienced a situation that had me that close to suicide, so I have no idea what one goes through when they experience that.
Glad to see Sunset address the issue with Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle. Their sisters needed to know what they nearly drove their friend to do. Overall nice chapter.
Heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. :(
I'm so sorry about all the stress you are dealing with. I really hope Lady Luck kicked Murphy to the curb soon. You sound like you need her at your side. I hate to point something out but:
Pinkie Pie never left the room. Only Applejack and Rainbow Dash did. So, Pinkie couldn't have gone and got Celestia. It's going to be awhile before Sunset is able to get anywhere near Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and/or Scootaloo without fear of an anxiety attack or a total breakdown.
very good chapter i love your story so much and this chapter was amazing i just want to give sunset abig hug
8004547
Except it is Pinkie Pie, even the human version can likely go get Celestia without ever leaving the room.
OH MY GOD I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS OUT! LOVED THE FIRST ONE NO CLUE IT HAD A SEQUEL!
This chapter was very needed and very well done. The Anon-A-Miss incident kept looming over this story, even when it wasn't mentioned, and it was very nice to finally see it addressed.
Man, I just wanted to give Sunset a hug after reading this.
Poor Sunset.
Glad to see more of the story, and I like how you involved all the girls in what happened to Sunset, one thing though, I can tell this Sci-Twi cause it mentions txting Cadence or Shining. I think a later installment... or even next chapter should include Princess Twilight or Princess Celestia, maybe even both, on this matter. I think they would be quite upset at hearing how EQ girls main 5 pushed Sunset so close to the edge, and Princess Twilight needs to help Sunset over come this somehow, and let her know she's always available to her, same with Princess Celestia. Hope to hear more soon.
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I like to see a chapter where the Those three spoke with the CMC and told them just how bad they hurt Susnet and how bad they screwed up, and how Sunset is scared of them.
Ok blitzed through this after finding it.
1) loved it. This is one of my favorite story... Series?
2) Would love to see another story with sunset with her friends. plus sunlight is OTP.
3) Also love how you can make me feel so hard one chapter then happy another.
Once again you've expertly handled a very sensitive topic. It would have been easy to frame Luna or Sunset as being weak or helpless as a result of their histories, but you've presented two very human characters who have consciously chosen to live. Rather than using a history with suicide to define either character, it's presented as a historical event that shapes and influences who these characters are and what they do. This is how characterization is done right.
On a tangent, it was very refreshing to see recovery framed as an ongoing process. Neither Luna nor Sunset magically "got over" the the things that they've been through -- they've had to work to try and find peace, and both have highlighted just how ugly that work can be in their own ways.
Can I ask why this is still rated E?
8006930
Uh, I forgot to change it, heh.
great chapter, I loved how the anon a miss incident is finally adressed as well as the lack of apologies from Sunset's friends minus Sci-Twi and fluttershy. Sunset has scars in her heart and mind that may never truly heal, but she's slowly getting better. I wonder if Luna knows about Sunset's attempted Suicide? That would make another great binding chapter between them, looking forward to what happens next.
honestly rainbow apologizing specifically always falls more then little flat, they where all horrible, but rainbow, really pushed the envelope.
8007422 happens in the chapter aunt
8004547
Well, this is Pinkie Pie, so who's to say that this is not possible?
8004605 8012394
I might believe that except for the fact that Pinkie was next to Rarity the whole time. Now, if she came in the room with Celestia, I'd be more inclined to believe it.
So, just to clarify, Anon-A-Miss happened BEFORE Celestia adopted Sunset, correct? I don't think "Momlestia" would have been as forgiving to the Crusaders.
8015360
Correct
Gods, this chapter....
This chapter brought tears to my eyes.
Best damn chapter of what I have read so far.
I don't want to make light of this - because suicide is a very dark and serious topic - but do Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle know they almost caused Sunset to kill herself?
If Celestia hadn't made it in time, those three young girls could've been charged with indirect murder, or whatever the legal term is. Luckily, Celestia was quick enough to prevent this horrific outcome, but still - those three girls almost caused an innocent girl to forfeit her life.
I don't even want to think of Princess Twilight's or Princess Celestia's reactions to this.
this chapter really got to me. I was crying the whole time I read it and I really feel for sunset because when I was in high school I also tried to kill my self, not for the same reasons as her. however even today I still think about it sometimes
8004832
In fairness, I always want to give her a hug.
It's important to have Fiction like this to explain what it can be like to those who have never been there. Betrayal can cut extremely deep.
I bet Pinkie Pie throws a "We're sorry and apologize ,can you forgive us party " for Sunset
( wish they had others like Twilight sad , )
8509024
It's called manslaughter. When someone accidentally causes the death of another due to either inaction, inattentiveness, ect. it's called manslaughter.
Did they seriously say this? Their own actions completely contradict their statements 100% and they have the audacity to criticize someone else.
I'm a bit confused, was the Twilight from "'Tis the season" Pony Twilight then? I *thought* it was Sci-Twi but it seems this is the first time she joins them.
10038142
This chapter, same with "tis the season" are slightly out of timeline (as I see it) but this is an early appearance with Sci-Twi as a member of "The RainBooms"
8004547
Probably pinkie weird powers allowed her to leave without anyone seeing and be back before anyone noticed. She has some crazy abilities.
Personally I'm surprised anyone believed it was her. Considering nobody who wants to do something bad purposely leave a obvious calling card for the authorities to see. Once in a while crooks slip up and leave one by accident but on a computer there are only typos and no other accidents besides false accusations.
10747926
If it was her she would be on the same level as “The Wet Bandits” in the movie Home Alone and anyone who knows Sunset at all knows that even at her worst (in the first movie) she was (usually) smarter than this.
She did let her emotions get the best of her at the end of the movie which led to the whole ’She Demon’ thing, but the Anon-a-Miss thing lasted too long for Sunset to be continuously thinking this unclearly for the duration of that. This is because those events dragged on for days (at the very least) and not the mere minutes to hours that even the longest emotional outbursts that I have heard of (or even experienced) would last.
Also, Sunset would obviously have had nothing to gain from becoming Anon-a-Miss.
I did not see this one coming, well kinda but nope.
Lima sounds almost similar to what Luna went through.
Apart feels like a ship of those two is fast approaching.
That's all we can do is wait.
9226119
I would argue that it's not accidental only in the effect that they wanted to hurt Sunset. The three knew that what they were doing would at least to some extent cause Sunset some degree of emotional toil. After seeing the consequences of their actions they continued to do it knowing that they were turning the school against Sunset. I don't know if that worsens the possible charges but it would have an effect on sentencing.
10978870
I don't think they thought sunset other than she wouldn't be near their sisters. They didn't really think about her feelings or the fact she had been trying hard to be a better person.