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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That is a misplaced modifier, which easily distracts the reader from the chapter. Something like that at the very beginning is a real buzzkill.
But what is "wasteland?" Is it just gravel and sand... dead grass and soil... possibly desert? I would love to see some geography.
Now that's a cool concept for a settlement.
What is that even supposed to mean?
Oh, you can feel the grief there in those lines!
Honestly, that is a pretty smart reparation for the insult given. Not a bad character establishing moment.
It was a short chapter that definitely could have been extended to include the actual quest given to Prism. But as it stands, the chapter does give us some good characterization of both main characters and the new one leading this raider band. If it was not for some faulty sentence structure and strange word choice, this chapter could have been a great introduction into the world of Rust Red Shores. I like the way morality is shown in this bit of the setting, and it would have worked well to the story's advantage if this dynamic was one of the first qualities readers were introduced to.
Ah one of those times when your not sure you should take the quest or just kill em all reminds me of nukka world did all the quests then wiped em out
dam a no win situation