Idol Hooves at A Canterlot Wedding

by Airy Words

Decisions...decisions

“That will be fine, dear.”

“Great! I’m also thinking about having my parents stand up next to Celestia when you come down the aisle.”

“That will be fine, dear.” I ground my pathetically flat teeth. I had never done so before taking the form of the Alicorn of Love, but I was finding the sensation pleasurable. Or at least pleasurable enough to keep from killing anyone within leg-length while I withstood the monotonous spewage of senseless details coming from my ‘betrothed.'

“And I know the Flower Girls have light red petals in their baskets, but I’m thinking dark pink would better complement your coat.”

I felt one of my eyelids twitch. Was there even a difference? I was going insane trying to keep track of all of this insipid trivia my alter ego was supposed to care about. “That would be fine, dear.” More grinding. Suddenly, I stopped moving my teeth. What would happen if I retained the habit once I returned to my glorious true form? With a mouth full of fangs, that would be…painful.

"Idol Hooves! How are you doing, buddy!”

I realized Shining Armor had halted, and not only that, had tapped some energy reserve inside himself to talk to this…wait…that was not a pony. I frowned, staring at the impostor. He was familiar to me. After a few moments, the member of the Royal Guard looked directly at me and waggled his eyebrows.

Who would dare to…I checked my fiancé/food source and saw he was truly distracted. He would not notice a quick dose of green changeling magic from my horn. Quickly, I identified the soldier’s true form. It was him! The excavator from the 42nd generation I had exiled, what, 12 years ago. So he had survived. That was easily rectified.

I interrupted Shining Armor. “Oh, it is Idol Hooves! I do remember now! Dear, would you go on ahead for a moment and let me catch up with him about…uh,” what name did he use? “…Citrine Something.”

“I would really appreciate it.” I emphasized my statement by both drawing his excess energy and planting a light suggestion into him. His eyes went glassy and took on a slightly green hue. "Uh, OK. Whatever you say, dear."

I smiled. My hard work over the last two weeks was paying off. Now merely a slight suggestion and application of my magic made the Captain as pliable as—.

"Idol! You and I will be sharing a few drinks tonight, buddy!" Shining Armor exclaimed. I began grinding my teeth again, then stopped, remembering the possible ramifications. OK, a light suggestion was not enough. I would remember that. But where did this pony get these energy reserves from?

"I prefer to drink my own drinks, if it's all the same to you, sir."

Shining laughed then continued down the hall. “Don’t be late for the rehearsal, honey!”

I pulled back my lips and pointed my horn at my ex-tunneler, now sensibly bowing before me, not that that would save him.

“Oh, I won’t be.”

I pinned the drone with my gaze while waiting for Shining to move out of earshot. No complications could be permitted now. Too much was at stake. I began to charge my horn to reduce this troublesome drone to ash. A quick disposal and…

As the Captain finally rounded the corner, the drone dared to ask a question. "My Queen, how do you do it?"

My expression faltered and I lost focus of my spell. "What?"

"How do you assume the form of an alicorn for hours or days at a time without burning through all of your energy reserves?"

What kind of question was this? From a changeling whose purpose in life was to build tunnels?

I paused for a moment and hummed, pulling my specific memories of this drone from the hive mind. He had been expelled for thinking in ways that were incompatible with those working in the hive. He had ambition and the courage to follow his convictions. Also, a well-developed sense of aesthetics far beyond what his genetics should allow, even if he didn't have the skill to achieve it or the words to express it properly.

He was dead anyhow. No harm in answering his question. "Queens are able to assume forms in a different manner than drones; a much more efficient and complete representation." With that, I began charging my horn again.

"Oh, that would explain it then."

Annnnnd charging back down.

I was conflicted. My first, most direct, and most prudent impulse remained to burn him to ash, carry the remains to the nearest window and be done with it. I was too close to my goal now to allow any mitigating factors. But perhaps this drone had learned something useful during his years surviving away from the hive. Damn my curiosity. "Explain what, exactly?" I demanded firmly.

"When I took the form of an alicorn, I could only maintain the transformation for mere seconds. Then I was comatose for days until I recovered."

I blinked. Did I hear that right? "Why did you become an alicorn?"

My drone replied matter-of-factly. "I needed to subdue a manticore...and quickly."

My first thought, of course, was that he was joking, but I just as quickly dismissed it. Drones had a terrible sense of humor and couldn't deliver a joke to save their lives. I knew; I had had several try.

Had he unwittingly tapped into the gestalt of Equestria? If so, I didn’t understand how any changeling could have accomplished this. This insignificant drone had indeed grown into something unusual. I considered reconnecting him to the hive and draining his knowledge into it. But would this disrupt whatever made him what he had now become? The link would drain memories, but not physiological changes or those brought about by magic. Perhaps he could be something useful and loyal the way he was now. Besides, it would be better to wait until I could more carefully peel his new personality apart. And time was of the essence now.

I couldn’t hide my smile as a new, more ambitious thought emerged. Gaining the knowledge of how to elevate any or even all of my soldiers to the power level of an alicorn, however briefly, would make quick work of any resistance, even that of the Elements of Harmony or the two remaining alicorns.

My smile stopped. I contemplated what would happen if even a single creature of supreme power and will became attached to all the energy that could be supplied by the hive mind and every drone connected to it. It could conceivably wrestle control of the hive away from me, or drain every erg of energy away from all changelings, killing the entire race. Was this changeling before me a trap, a precaution sent by Celestia to catch me unawares?

I had to laugh inwardly at my paranoia. I considered again the drone in front of me. He had shifted in my mind from irritating hindrance, to savior, to the greatest threat the hive had ever faced. All without him saying another word. If possible, I would prefer to deal with him later. But was there a purpose he could perform for me now? Maybe to help make the wedding go off as planned. Perhaps he knew more than I regarding the coordination of the reception buffet napkins with the garland flower selection.

My eyes went wide in shock. By the First Queen, did I really think that? Was being in this form polluting my mind irreparably? I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Sensibly, the drone said nothing, waiting patiently.

“Drone, do you have experience arranging wedding ceremonies?”

“Ah…no, My Queen.”

Pity. That would have been useful. Was there anything else? Unimaginably, he interrupted my thoughts. "Your Majesty, where is the true Princess Cadance?"

My smile ended. "You question my authority?"

The drone shook his head slightly, keeping it bowed. "No, Your Majesty, I just want to know if she is still alive."

I waved my hoof dismissively. "Where she is now is not your concern, but of course she is still alive. She will remain so as I see fit. She is too important an asset to simply terminate.”

He bowed more deeply. "Thank you, My Queen."

I started humming again. Yes, this drone would require careful study when I had completed my takeover of Equestria. It was rare to find a drone that could stand up to a queen’s displeasure and not shrink away. He could potentially become a trusted adviser, unafraid to correct his queen when she might misstep. Or he could be more trouble than he was worth. Again.

For the moment, however, he could aid my plans. "Drone #42-231. There is a special task you will do for your Queen. If you succeed, you will help the Changeling and Equestrian kingdoms unite. Hunger will end for all of changeling kind. Do you want this for your brothers and sisters?"

My drone’s tone brightened. "That would be wonderful, My Queen!"

I smiled, though I suspect it was unlike the smile of the real Cadance. "I take it you are known to many of the pony guards and staff of this castle?"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

My horn glowed briefly. "Go to the doors outside Princess Luna's chambers. There you will find a dozen of my finest warriors disguised as the Night Guard. They are expecting your arrival. Tell anyone that approaches that on Princess Cadance's authority you are to prevent anypony from entering the Princess' room and disturbing her slumber. She must sleep undisturbed throughout this day for us to be successful. Can you do this for your Queen, for the good of the entire hive?"

My drone prostrated himself fully. "I will do so, Your Majesty."

"Good. Do not fail me."

He stood then bowed deeply. "I will not fail you or the hive, My Queen."

"Then go."

I smiled as my loyal drone galloped away. Truly, it was a simple matter to reassure him that he was still working for the good of Equestria. His Queen had promised so!

Comments

[Shachza]

Yes, Idol Hooves is the most dangerous changeling around. Oh, he never intends to be so, it just sort of happens... and then works out.

Your best course of action to combat him is clearly to just not.

Confused? Exactly. It begins.

[Devildogg20]

7589716 He is as dangerous as Jar-Jar Binks in a combat situation. You send him in alone with a spear, next thing you know, the entire enemy army is destroyed, and all that's left is a few stragglers.

[Featherflight]

7589944
His reaction? Oops.

[CoffeeBean]

So THAT'S why Luna never woke up!

[keybounce]

7589944
Yes, but Jar-Jar was secretly a force master. Idol is just a master of ...

Actually, he is "lucky" like Jar-Jar. Hmm ...

[Zaten the Changeling]

7591797
Exactly. Remember the time he subdued that thief by jumping off a bridge?

[Black--Soul]

Indeed very different from the current state of the main story still in writing but recently updated.
I wonder if he will fight his fellow Changeling for Cadance and Shining Armor here as well.