Now where is the fapmobile

It has potential, i'll give it that. I'd work on fleshing it all out, though. It was to fast. I'd also suggest you read and/or look up some other highly rated sex stories of this kind as a reference. Particularly due to this;

warm yellow spunk.

Yeah, it speaks for itself.

7565062 Thanks for the comment! And i totaly agree, I want to get better at writing in general, and I just told my self to just sit down and let the words just kinda fall out XD And thats kinda what this story is, a bit of an idea I had and an hour of just letting the words happen. It's kinda funny you point our that particualr phrase cause when I went ever it agina myself after I published it I was just like... Whaa??? Again, thanks and I will totaly look up more stories for referance, that is a great idea! I hope to impress more in the future!

aww shit, someone did the "cock too big to pull out of mouth gets forced out by expanding cum belly" idea before I could!

Since its a magic cock could it ignore certain anatomical issues?

7565701 Yes! I think... or my lack of knowledge there of.... nah we will go with magical cock! XD

7565665 It was one I wanted to see so bad but never found it! there were a few that came close but never did it. I am sure there will be more, and much better written than mine but if I can get the idea out there then yay!!

I really liked this. I fully support doing another chapter where she fucks someone.

7565665 I'm pretty sure I saw something like that in a picture by Saphiros (or twntypercentcooler or whatever it is).

7566066 It was twentypercent, but it was only kind of implied that that's what had happened. Like it was just an image of her on the floor, belly full of cum, cock flopping down and leaking jizz

Well definitely a good start material-wise haha

I am currently working on chapter 2, and for those wondering why it it taking a while considering the shortness of the first chapter, I have decided to take a more lengthy approach. Going throught all the comments and some of you kind enough to message me directly and give me some pointers, I wanted to as a slight story element to it that would close up this story and alow me to open up another one as a sequal.

"But DashReborn, What about the sexies and the kinks, wont a story ruin that?" well random commenter that I just made up for sake of answering a question I can forsee happening, Not really. When I say I want to add a story element its more of a way for me to get from sexy time A to sexy time B, making twilight have a slumber pary or something instead of having a Pinkie show up for no reason at all. If by chance that yall want more story in the future I would be mor than willing to try and make a really story with sexy times in it but that would probably end up being a seperate story from this one.

Any who, thanks again all for helping me with my writing. I hope to impress more in the future and expect Chapter 2 sometime this next week!

EDIT:
You know... At this point, I think I will just send the darn error list in a PM ? It has gotten quite long.

7583893 Hey, I just wanted to say thanks. I know there are a lot of spelling and grammar errors and I'm glad you are pointing them out, it will help when I go back through and edit. My excuse is I wrote this on a tablet with a keyboard that, for some reason, disables the auto correct and spellchecker. But in all reality I should just learn to spell and rely less on the squiggly red line.

I am just in the process of writing the second chapter and want to get that out first before I go through and edit the first one. Like I said I am learning to write decent stories and the best way to do that is to get stories out there and have them critiqued and judged.

Again, thank you, when I get a few moments I will go through and edit the first chapter and make it more bearable for new readers!