• Member Since 4th Jul, 2015
  • offline last seen 17 hours ago

raven618


That one guy who writes twenty stories, and doesn't update any of them.

T
Source

Twilight Sparkle was living a normal life in Canterlot. She had a loving Mother and Father, Two brothers whom she tolerated, and a group of friends she would die for.

But that was all taken away when a mysterious person shows her the reason behind her Utopia. Now she's on Equestria's Ten Most Wanted list.

Join her and her new group of friends as they fight to free their home from the tyrant it doesn't even know it has.

Based on the fan-art designs of Yatonokami.
Rated teen for some more mature images and themes.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 9 )

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Mind = fucked.

I smiled sheepishly "I had made a checklist of things to do today, but unfortunately I've, misplaced it." I heard a sound that sounded suspiciously like two people bumping their fists together. "So, maybe we could go... swimming in the river?"

The girls looked among themselves before nodding. "Sounds good." Moondancer looks at her watch, "How about we head home and change into our swimwear, and you can go see the queen and get your Task?" That plan sounded good to me, so I told them I'd see them in about an hour.

Also, I'd watch out for using the right tense.

W8!!! What?.... Chrysalis?
I see ...... you throw us off with that 'C' in the letter and with all descriptions of golden armor and stuff. Ha Neat :heart:

strait

You use this several times when I think you mean 'straight'. In the two cases I saw, you were describing hair.

And a surprise twist ending! :twistnerd:
And a chance to use the Twist emoji! :twistnerd:

7674786 *Missing facehoof emoji* thanks for pointing that out, I'll take care of it.

Well, this seal the deal! I'll keep my eye on this story!

Nothing like a good story you forget for then all of the sudden to appear in your tracking list.

More please

Shame this was discontinued.

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