• Member Since 15th Aug, 2016
  • offline last seen 6 days ago

Will


Punctual, entertaining, enigmatic and humorous. Those terms are best applied to others. However, these do a good job of describing me: absentminded, long-winded, reclusive and strange.

T

Shortly after Twilight has finished explaining a new method of teleportation to her friends, they are called out by the Cutie Map to help out in Griffonstone. This seemingly simple job turns out to be much more complex than any of them had anticipated, and soon they realize that no matter what, their enemies will never back down. Will a new set of skills help to even the odds?

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 27 )

"I swear that doesn’t mean anything weird."

Heh, that one made me smile.

Keep up the good work. I'll be watching this story.

That teleportation spell sounded painful.

Anyways, I am looking forward to new chapters.

7529022 Thanks. I try to upload new chapters over the weekend, and I did start early on the third one. Hopefully it turns out okay.

Yeah, I'm seeing blaze-of-glory return from the two missing element bearers. Keep up the good work.

7530332 Glad to see that you believe in the power of a promise from the Element of Honesty. I'm not going to give anything away right now, but their playground is slightly bigger than a standard backyard.

Gosh, that is the most useless clue that I've ever given anyone. But, good on you if you understand what I'm trying to say, even though it seems like I need to brush up on my definitions; apparently, I am unable to tell the difference between vagueness and confusion.

:ajbemused: I have descended, so prepare yourself for my one, true special talent! :derpytongue2: Fixing Clerical errors!
1) bein’ here - missing question mark after
2) Griffonstone Rainbow Dash - I feel like there should be a comma between Grtiffonstone and Rainbow Dash. The sentence doesn't flow well. (this is just a personal thing, but I've been told I'm good at sentence flow and how to write like one speaks, so take that with a grain of salt.)
3) that, as - And said comma should come from here because I don't think it belongs. It breaks up the string in a weird way. It sounds... well, off.

Side note: Pinkie hints at it, but I didn't realize that 'the narrator' was his own character until after the cutie map segment. I could have just been missing it, but that could have been more apparent too.
***
:ajsmug: All that aside, I like it. I'll probably go through the rest of the story later and do the same. Until then~

:derpyderp2: Clerical errors 2 - Electric Boogaloo
“Countryisms™”. - Periods before end Quotes, always and forever.
Just one this time. Technically it doesn't really matter from any standpoint but consistency, but that is as it were, that.
NANI!? I smell multi-dimensional Rick and Morty-esque shenanigans...

:applejackunsure: mmm... The plot thickens...
Other notes, this feels more and more natural as I read it. Either I'm getting used to you, or you've found a groove to write in. All the same, improvement is definitely apparent. On to the next one!

:applejackconfused: Uh-huh. As predicted, shenanigans ensue. I must read this other story for context here, as I am totally out of the loop. Invested though, that's for sure. Please continue to "show me yo' moves."

Well... Apple Bloom is in for a rough time.
Looking forward for the next chapter.

"A clue nonetheless"

Heh, I see what you did there.

7542206 Where? I have done nothing. I'm innocent.

7541085 Yay! I am improve! Also, never watched Rick and Morty, so I don't quite know what "NANI" is. But, the story is made of shenanigans. Heck, eventually there'll probably be more of that than there are words in it. Also, thanks for the corrections. I'll try to look over them as soon as my Google Docs learns to play nice with site formatting.

...

Damn.

I wait for more.

7553533 Is... is that good, or bad? Did I do something good? If so, yay! Also, hooray for random surprise WiFi hotspots!

:applejackunsure: That was morbid. But well written. The only thing I could find before being engulfed in the waters myself was this little error here:
sentence.” Then

:rainbowhuh: I can't quite tell where the line for dead is drawn here. It seems like death is just kinda optional at this point which takes away from how much it weighs.

:ajsmug: In another matter, I think AU wouldn't be quite right, but some kind of Multiverse/Dimentional Travel tag would be best for this kind of thing. You might try putting Sci-fi on it because this very much falls into that category. Even supernatural horror would fit.

:derpytongue2: Keep up the good work.

7560236 The system for death will be long-winded and pretty difficult for the narrator to explain, so I'm incredibly glad that I'm not them. But, yes; essentially, death holds absolutely no weight for anyone that they've encountered. Except for when it does. Which will be explained, though probably not immediately after this - at the moment, it's actually more of an inconvenience than anything.

7560174 I found that error, and tried to fix it. I have no idea what just happened. I've got an inverted comma of a different style clipped onto the front of that word now, and I can't understand how on Earth to rectify that. Lovely.

7569116 It looks fine from my side, but the quotes are just straight now.

7569064 Interesting. looking forward to it.

That reference though.

7596256 Reference? Did I reference something without knowing it? As far as I can remember, I wasn't actually trying to put in any references at all when doing that chapter. Care to explain?

7596256
Final Destination, although I could be completely wrong

7596753 Oh. No, that was literally the only euphemism I had that I knew I would find hard to repeat ad nauseum, as is my modus operandi. It's a symptom of my severe case of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome, I'm afraid. Terrible condition, but it can't be helped right now.

Fixed a few of the errors that had been picked up by KorenCZ11. Beyond that, I came to the author's note of this chapter and saw the sentence "You have been warned." How many other accidental references have I pumped into this thing?

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