Story of a Stick

by Xinrick

Interlude VI

Author's Note:

This chapter explains some things...and is very random...you have been warned.

“Sweet me…” Celestia mutters, shaking her head gently as Simon was forced to flee all because he was blamable for Appleloosa’s destruction.

A large conga line with Discord at the front followed by Luna, the changelings, several of the day guards, Shining Armor, and Cadence were traipsing through the throne room before Discord teleported them away as he removed his lampshade and solemnly held his paw over his heart.
“A tragedy indeed.” He murmured as he watched through the mirror.

“Just because he’s there he has too immediately be blamed…” She frowns. “Do they not know that he literally saved all their lives?”

“Probably not. I saw so many ponies hiding the moment that the waves of water started flooding their hiding spots. I’m surprised that they didn’t learn to swim since living on the plains with no discernible source of water would obviously give them the ability to swim.” Discord snarked out as he ate some jalapeno poppers that seemed to be made out of taffy and tree bark.

“They almost died Discord, this isn’t a joking matter.” She glares at the chaos spirit. “At least the Bison understand that he saved them.” Celestia mutters.

“Mm-hm. Yup such is the power of harmony. Seriously though the destruction of the landscape, while child’s play for me, is starting to become monotonous. I can’t constantly watch out for every being in this world especially if I have to deal with stick figures as well. There is too much to watch and deal with and also keep the other rifts sealed until he gets close.” Discord growled out looking particularly annoyed.

“Yes Discord…” She sighs out. “I’m just glad the destruction has only been kept to a minimum so far…” She says. “As well as no living casualties in the fights.”

“Well except for every plant that was torn asunder and the apple trees which for some reason Granny Smith keeps wrapping blankets around and reading them bedtime stories to quell their nightmares.” Discord amusedly cleaned his talons against his dragon leg.

“I mean...the Apples take their job seriously considering it’s their livelihood...and I suppose she’s just paranoid about that…situation happening again.” Celestia says nervously, finding that level of love to their work a tad weird.

“Let’s not even forget that the trees are even having nightmares as well of being violated because of that woman stick figure and how some of them even liked it which is just weirder than all this and Luna had been sick to the moon and back because of them.” Discord poofed in Luna who was busy devouring a chip and salsa plate. She looked around then at Celestia then slowly ate another chip.

“That’s...weird…” Celestia mutters, taking a chip and some salsa in her magic and eating it. “So, where is he running off to now?”

“Los Pegasus.You know what they say about that place Cele,” Discord gripped Celestia and Luna in his arms and held them in front of a mirror as they were gussied up in very exotic dresses and suits which seemed to leave very little to the imagination, “ What happens in Los Pegasus, stays in Los Pegasus.”

Luna saw the clothes and raised an eyebrow at it. “Well...not sure if this works for me…”

“Oh sweet me Discord…” Celestia face hooves, hiding her flushed cheeks well.

“What? It’s Los Pegasus. No one else will ever know.” Discord guffawed as he reeled around from the look on Celestia’s face.

“If they were blind.” Celestia frowns.

“Well...they would be when most of the ponies there are so fixated on games…” Luna points out. “But you have a point...we would still be noticed for who we are...maybe disguise magic?” Luna wonders.

“What were you actually going to go? Well… I could be persuaded for another scale Luna…” Discord slyly smiled.

“No no Discord. I was just thinking was all.” Luna tells the spirit.

“Put away the mirror Discord.” Celestia says. “But I wonder if Simon will think Los Pegasus is nice...and if the ponies won’t try to immediately run him out of town.”

“Oh I kept news out of Los Pegasus. He’ll have a chance. Hope he can make a good impression.” Discord twiddled his fingers.

“It’s Los Pegasus…” Luna says worriedly.

“Well he doesn’t have any money and he wouldn’t bet away his weapons…” Celestia points out, having learned he takes great pride and care for his weapons.

“Ah pride. The first thing mortals bet away when they think they could win.” Discord chuckled out loud.

“I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t bet away his weapons.” Luna says.

“Who said I was talking about weapons? What did that one noble bet against you Celestia when he wanted to prove Zebras were horrible? Was it that he would go hopping around on one foot detailing how much he loved working with Zebras?” Discord smirked as he pulled up a picture of the pony in question.

“That was funny.” Luna nods.

“It was.” Celestia agrees. “And at least he learned something from that.”

“Oh that reminds me. Purple Smart and her band of merry mares wanted to ask you some questions about the Stick Figures and what happened recently. Apparently Pearjack wanted to know what happened to her cousin Fuji Apple.” Discord purposely got the names wrong.

“It would be good to tell Applejack that her family is fine...but I don’t know if I should explain it to them.” The solar princess says, honestly scared of what they’ll do if they know of that past.

“Hm… sorry I warped them to the castle before you could finish that thought. Then I had to clean out the cotton candy that was in my ears. You know how that goes.” Discord jumps to the ceiling as six bewildered mares were suddenly in the throne room looking positively flustered. “If you don’t I’ll be forced to show them the salsa picture. You know the one. The one you wanted no one to ever see.”

“No!” Celestia shouts at Discord, glaring daggers at him.

“I feel my talons slipping~” Discord sang out.

“Uh...princess?” Twilight asks worriedly.

“Alright, alright I’ll tell them.” Celestia frowns. “Okay...so what’s your first question?”

“Is mah cousin okay?” Applejack asks quickly.

“Yes Applejack, he is safe as well as the rest of Appleloosa and the Buffalo.” Celestia nods.

Discord pulled out a picture of Braeburn and Little Strongheart getting real close to each other and handed it to Applejack. “I bet you thought it was the salsa picture Celestia.”

Celestia glared at him. “Princess, what were those things?” Twilight asks her. “Those Stick Figures?”

“Well…” Celestia starts, thinking through it before just sighing out and shaking her head. “Where to start…” She mutters. “It all started five thousand years ago when they started appearing.” She says to the six. “It all started with a Stick Figure that went by ‘Xiao Xiao’, the very first and possibly strongest stick figure to ever appear in Equestria.” She explains.

“Five thousand!?” Twilight shouts, her eyes widening at how long ago this was.

“Yes Twilight. Anyways,” Celestia says, going back to the story. “Back then when we were...what? Eighteen years of age?” She asks Luna and Discord.

“Equivalent of an Eighteen year old. I’m ageless my dear.” Discord cracked his claw showcasing a younger draconequus with a black mustache which both screamed suave and stupid at the same time.

“That looks stupid.” Twilight points out.

“But it does work for him in a suave manner darling.” Rarity adds.

“Yes yes. Anyways we were only teens when our mother Faust, as well as Discords mother Entropy met Xiao Xiao. At the time he didn’t say much but was accepting of our mothers hospitality in a strange new world and agreed to help him get back to his world. But when a group of Assassins tried to attack the stick figure on the basis of ‘he’s an abomination’...” She trails off.

“Xiao Xiao kicked all their asses without even trying.” Luna states. “And there were at least 10 of the best assassins in the ‘Shadow Under Hoof’ clan.” She explains.

“But...one master could beat a full grown dragon with no issue!” Twilight explains, not believing such a thing.

“Don’t forget about the explosions and the death defying stunts that made every Rainbow Dash do look like a walk through town.” Discord slyly brought up waiting for the outburst.

“HEY!” Rainbow dash shouted.

Discord quietly put a tally mark on a whiteboard which read, ‘Number of time Rainbow Dash was offended.’ and the tally marks were well over a thousand.

“You’ve been keeping track?” Applejack asks. “Seems...weird but understandable I suppose.”

“Hey!” Rainbow pouts. “Stop picking on me.”

“If I can please get back on topic.” Celestia says sternly. “But yes, there were many explosions, and death defying stunts...and all Xiao Xiao had was his skills in hand to hand combat and a wooden staff to beat the ten of them.” The solar diarch explains.

“How strong was he?” Twilight asks.

“I’m afraid that either his true strength was displayed and I don’t remember it, or he never had to use such strength because he was basically as physically strong as our mother.” Celestia says.

“My mother never cared and merely sipped some wine till things changed… just never get on her bad side mare.” He held Twilight close staring her in the eye while fear filled his face. “NEVER.” He harshly intoned before going back to his jovial mood leaving a dazed Twilight to get back on her hooves.

“I didn’t even know you three even had mothers.” Twilight states.

“Yes...this is a whole bunch of new for all of us.” Rarity says.

“Don’t forget learning that this reality is only one of many and that no matter how high we reach as a threat we’re barely a number four on the list while every other reality is a seven or higher so far.” Discord casually waved his arm around as he said that.

“Uh…” Twilight mutters, not understanding what things Discord was talking about.

“May I please continue?” Celestia asks, wanting to continue the story here. When silence stayed for at least a minute she nodded. “Okay. So a year passed and both Entropy and mother found a way to send him home. He was a genuine friend to all of us and when he was sent home he would be missed...until two months later.” Celestia sighs out.

“Another stick figure appeared through a portal the same way Xiao Xiao appeared.” Luna continued. “We don’t remember his name because he kind of...pissed off Entropy.” She says worriedly.

“How?” Twilight asks.

“He said that change was overrated and that anything that was changed was just moved slightly to the left. She was so pissed she nearly changed his bone structure to jelly and that was only the first twelve seconds.” Discord chuckled.

Twilight looked at him. “Um...what? I feel like I’m missing something here…’moved slightly to the left’...what?” She asks, not sure about that part specifically.

“He was implying that everything only changed by moving to the left…he wasn’t that bright. Then came the screaming of his mother while things were stabbed into him in various places. And don’t even get me started on the plunger.” Discord cringed.

“Ew!” All the girls said in unison, not knowing the implications but finding it rather gross of what they immediately thought.

“Then let’s not forget what happened after he insulted Faust and then she joined in on it. Needless to say that’s why Equestria uses matchboxes to hold things now.” Discord finished.

“Oh…” Twilight frowns.

“He died.” Luna says from all that.

“Surprisingly no…but let’s not split hares about how horrifying it is.” Discord chuckles out. “Remember ladies, it’s chaos, not death.”

“So after we completely ignored our parents for at least two months after that…time,” She says through clenched teeth and how horrifying it was.

“Remembered his name. Rupert. He had quite the mouth on him. Remember Celestia when he said that thing about the saddle.” Discord quipped.

“That’s probably why Luna thought he died cause I...kind of broke his spine.” Celestia says. “But back on track, after Rupert was thankfully kicked through a portal back to his world another showed up not a month later, this time with a thankfully not bad stick figure...and then this would be the trend for a while until things..went haywire.” The solar princess says nervously.

“You see, Entropy felt a massive change in the barrier between our world and the Stick Figure world. Apparently the portals that our parents used to send them back had some adverse effect that started making Stick Figures appear more often, and in random places. Thankfully it was at least kept in Equestria for at least...maybe five hundred years? A thousand?” Luna asks.

“Either way, as more stick figures appeared and disappeared fights started to break out between them. Either because they wanted to test their strength, they had personal issues with each other, or just because they wanted to. And sadly both our mothers and the three of us were dragged in just to help keep the innocent people protected.” Celestia explains.

“At the thousandth year of fighting our mother sort of...vanished.” Luna says. “She was in the middle of fighting a powerful Stick Figure but then a portal opened up and pulled them both in…” Luna sighs out. “We don’t know if she’s back here or if something bad happened to her…”

“Oh…” Twilight mutters.

“Ah reminds me… Mother says hi.” Discord handed a letter from Entropy to Celestia.

“Oh, good to hear she said hi.” Celestia nods and carefully opens it, knowing if it’s a letter from Entropy then it must have some silly confetti trap in it. After a surprisingly normal letter opening she started reading it.

I’m still alive Entropy, please tell the girls to walk the dog and not forget to feed him.

From your best friend,
Faust.

Celestia’s magic dissipated as her face became even whiter than her fur, the letter gently floating to the ground before Luna caught it. “W-wha…?”

“It couldn’t have been that bad could it?” Luna asks, carefully reading the letter...and then re-reading it...then re-re-reading it...only for the same reaction to happen to Luna. “B-b-but….” She mutters in shock, tears falling down her cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” Twilight asks worriedly.

“M-m-mothers...alive…” Celestia mutters.

“Knew I forgot something. Oh well what are you going to do.” Discord shrugged as he drank some chocolate milk cotton candy clouds.

Discord was suddenly grabbed and yanked in front of Luna’s furious gaze. “You knew our mother was alive this entire time and all you can say is YOU BUCKING FORGOT!?!” Luna roars at the draconequus.

Discord quietly pushed Luna’s horn into her head making it disappear as he brushed himself off. “Unfortunately for you being in stone makes it hard to remember events especially when you have to make your own entertainment for those centuries otherwise the first moment I get out I would have torn reality asunder and tossed everything into a black hole, MY DEAR…” Discord growled out lowly as the entire room shuddered for a second turning into a room of pure unimaginable horror before changing back to normal. He then returned Luna’s horn and went back to his smiling self.

Luna growled only for Celestia’s to put a gentle hoof on her shoulder. “It’s alright Luna…” The solar sister says gently.

“Fine…” Luna mutters. “So...how-” Luna starts before looking over at the mane six...who were on their sides completely passed out from the horror show that happened for a split second. “Oh...well...I suppose I’ll have to watch over their dreams for a while…”

“Give me a second.” Discord snapped his talon and everypony immediately woke up and looked around. Fluttershy took a bit more coaxing.

“What….was that!?” Twilight shouts in fear.

“It’s what happens when I take you seriously.” Discord calmly stated looking Twilight in the eye implying he never took them that seriously.

“It’s...sadly true.” Celestia sighs out.

“WHAT!?!” Twilight shrieks.

“You're kiddin me…” Applejack mutters.

“Oh come on!” Rainbow shouts.

“Oh dear…” Rarity mutters.

Fluttershy whimpered sadly, feeling like if he took them at least a little seriously she would have never made a good friend...or be six feet under.

“Heh heh heh…” Pinkie chuckled stiltedly.

“Anyways, after we...thankfully heard our mothers alive...shall we continue the story?” Celestia asks.

“Yes please.” Twilight nods.

“Thank you.” Celestia nods. “So after our mother ended up in the Stick Figure world and Entropy went off to do her thing me, Luna and Discord were the champions of Equestria for three thousand years. But sadly after they left the portals started appearing throughout the world and thankfully heroes rose up to stand up to the bad ones.” Celestia explains.

“Sadly the casualties were extensive throughout history…” Luna says sadly. “The changelings were actually kind people and not as...hollow and broken as they looked when they appeared during the wedding…”

“What do you mean Princess?” Twilight asks.

“There were twelve hives. Now there is one. I’ll miss Queen Dartwing. She was always a keeper.” Discord sighed aloud. “Pissed off Celestia like a champ.”

“Also, that entire near extinction event made the Badlands what they are today.” Luna points out bitterly.

“Wait…” Twilight mutters.

“One.” Celestia says, causing the entire group to look at Celestia. “One stick figure murdered eleven hives and burned the entirety of the area into what you know today as the Badlands.” She shakes her head. “Thankfully a friend stopped him...but the damage was already done…”

“Truly Elysium was quite beautiful. That’s what it was called. Then let’s not forget what I had to face…truly a dark time when I am forced to give up some chaos just to survive.” Discord mused as he played with a yoyo which for some reason looked like a stick figure that was scrunched up.

“Rodriguez…” Celestia growls. “That day...was horrible...”

“And that kind of segwayed into him being sealed away for fifteen hundred years.” Luna says.

“We were hoping it would last forever at the time...but given we weren’t attuned with the elements anymore...I think this is honestly better in the long run I suppose.” She says, honestly glad to have an old friend back.

“I am delightful.” Discord smiled out smugly.

“We...normally have nice tea parties.” Fluttershy finally speaks in a happy tone, liking their tea parties and talks.

“Ah yes. Those are quite interesting. Still I should at least put Rodriguez to rest some time soon shouldn’t I?” Discord kept playing with the yoyo.

Celestia and Luna looked at each other. “Honestly he ruined our friendship all those years ago...that’s up to you.” Luna says to the spirit.

“What do you mean princess?” Twilight asks, being the nosy knowledge seeker she is.

“We...don’t want to talk about it…” Celestia says bitterly.

“They never knew what hit them…then I made him into a yoyo. He’s not breathing anymore mind you.” Discord kept playing with the yoyo allowing Twilight to actually see it close up.

Twilight looked at it with a careful and analytical eye over the yoyo. “Huh...this is...actually a stick figure…” She says, able to tell that there were arms, legs, and other such things she was manage to notice about Simon before he bolted.

“Well...that’s a thing…” Applejack frowns.

“But now here’s a curious thing that...honestly still baffles me today.” Celestia starts again. “When I had to...seal away Luna in the moon, all the portals stopped appearing.” Celestia says.

“None?” Twilight asks.

“Yes, for one thousand straight years nothing about Stick Figures were ever brought up by anyone.” The solar diarch says. “But during the thousand years I made sure, with the other world leaders, that the stick figures would be nothing more than a silly story that only mad beings would believe.” Celestia says, not using ponies here for she spoke of all living beings.

Discord silently stared at Twilight with several neon signs that said mad pony to the other mane six. Then showed a picture of Smarty Pants and the Want it-Need it spell. He whistled innocently.

Twilight glared at Discord. “I may be mad, but I’m not as mad as Pinkie who immediately thought a book that said ‘Stick Figures are real’ was irrefutable proof that they existed.” Twilight frowned.

“Which she was right.” Discord sang out mockingly.

“They exist means literally jack all to the greater scheme of things!” Twilight barks. “I could say that there’s a random abomination at the bottom of the ocean singing ‘I feel pretty’ to itself and no one would believe me!” Twilight shouts.

“Ah you met cousin Cthulhu then.” Discord looks at the purple pony.

“I WAS BEING HYPOTHETICAL!” She screams in rage.

“Who said I was?” Discord quirked an eyebrow at Twilight.

Twilight started grinding her teeth together. “There is no abomination at the bottom of the ocean. I have literally checked because of the many books I read about the ocean.”

Discord snapped his talon showing a portal to the bottom of the sea where a giant abomination sat singing ‘I feel pretty’ in strange tongues. When it saw the ponies it waved and gave Celestia the recipe it thought up for Devil’s Food Cake which landed in front of Twilight.

“Thank’s Cthulhu.” Celestia nods with a smile, magicking over the recipe to her and Luna.

“WHAT THE BUCK IS THAT!?!” Twilight shrieks in horror, honestly horrified to see such an abomination and her mind screeching in pain at the sudden dialect that none of the mane six could understand.

“Ah poor Sparkle can’t understand that she knows literally nothing and is arguing with immortal beings that basically wrote every single piece of knowledge she thinks she knows.” Discord picked her up making sure to cancel her magic as he patted her head comfortingly.

“Not everything.” Celestia raises a hoof. “Star Swirl was quite the genius for being a mortal...so close to figuring it out.”

“Close merely counts in horseshoes and explosions.” Discord chuckled.

“True true.” Celestia shrugs with a little chuckle.

“But...but...but…” Twilight mutters, starting to mutter a bunch of nonsense about how life wasn’t fair and how bullshit it was that she barely knows fuck all about anything even after at least three near death experiences.

“You sure it’s this one Celestia?” Discord mumbles which Twilight couldn’t hear over her existential crisis.

“You try being told that everything you know isn’t even a drop in the massive ocean of life and not have an existential crisis.” She whispers back. “Also, try being a mortal and have this info dump rammed at you.”

“The last pony you chose at least could roll with the punches. And the rest of them are accepting of this.” Discord mumbled before motioning over to the other ponies who seemed far more accepting.

“This is beyond bucking weird.” Rainbow frowns.

“Twilight’s a scholar, and being told literally everything she thought was impossible in many ways has been done and is literally possible can...do quite something to you…” Rarity explains.

“I’m a farmer...and my head still hurts from that...whatever it was.” Applejack mutters.

Fluttershy was...well Fluttershy and she passed out at both seeing the eldritch abomination and the words it spoke.

“Oh darn. I couldn’t throw him a party.” Pinkie giggled.

“Everything I’ve learned…” Twilight mutters. “Means nothing here?” She asks, not caring about being in Discords hold and just wanting to know if at least something in her life actually means something now.

“Twilight.” Celestia says while magicking over the poor unicorn and wrapping her in a hug. “Everything you’ve learned doesn’t mean nothing. The world is a bigger place then you know...I know it’s hard to understand, but believe me...I was kind of in your situation at some points as well.” She says sheepishly. “Especially when I had to have one of Cthulhu's rather…’weird’ delicacies.” She says slowly, remembering how horrifying it was to actually watched the process and ate the ashes of damned and how it tasted like peaches somehow.

“I’ll take you on a trip around the universe later. Then you’ll know the true truth.” Discord says while he brushes off his shoulder.

“Can...I at least get my bearings knowing that H.P. Hoofcraft was correct in his otherwise weird and rather...creepy ramblings about them?” She asks.

“Oh yeah I forgot I made him go insane even as stone. Ah the troubles of a horrible memory.” Discord sullenly mused.

“Oh wait.” Rainbow start’s. “I think Twilight’s just having a break down because of she perceived fiction. I’d say...it would be pretty horrifying thinking that everything that is supposed to be ‘made up’ is actually all real in some way shape or form…” Rainbow says before getting a concentrated look. “Wait a second…” Rainbow mutters before her eyes go wide. “A.K. Yearling is Daring Do!?” Rainbow dash yelps

“Not even close.” Discord mumbled crossing his fingers in hope that his book deal wouldn’t fall through.

“I’m pretty sure you need to calm down Rainbow.” Applejack says. “While that...thing maybe real, that’s a magical being. I doubt Daring Do would be real when you think about it.” The farmer says, trying to keep the pegasus mare down to earth.

“Aw~.” Rainbow whines. “Fine…”

“Anyways perhaps we should look in on our intrepid hero and bask in his… adventures.” Discord groaned as he created another viewing portal. Simon was just outside of Los Pegasus.

“Why is Las Vegas here!?!” They all hear Simon shout incredulously.

To be continued...