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Twilight Sparkle is called away to tend to Luna when she falls ill. As Luna grows sicker and Twilight more determined to help the younger princess, she begins to uncover dark secrets about the elements, the alicorns, and her own past.
This was so affecting
i don't even know what to say.
Well i know what to say.
The Story is really good. I read a lot of FanFictions and this one was one of the better/best i have read. It is exciting, have nice romantik moments.(Throught there is a point that i LOVE TwiLuna
)
The ending was REALLY good and nearlly made me cry. I don't know what you can make better here. The only thing whould be to search for mistakes.
The only thing i didn't get was this 'room' or 'world' where Twilight was. It can be that i'm from German and not from England.
Anyway, this is serious business(and great work)
5 Stars for you
Alright, so the first six chapters were excellent. It interested me because i want to write a similar Luna is sick story. though mine will be less romance and treachery and more psychological. Still, your Luna was very well characterised and very interesting. I feel they fell in love a little fast once it did happen, but i guess thats not terrible.
Your writing was perfect, your characterization spot on. However, i couldnt be bothered reading beyond the 7th chapter because of Celestia. I wont spoil it for people reading the comments, but i just think it was silly 
. Cliche and nonsensical. Especially in comparison to the rest of the story, it makes no sense. They might as well BE different stories.
Still, im sure someone else will enjoy that thing, so i still rate you with 5 stars. Well done. 
I... I really have no words at this point. I just want to say that you made something really special here, at least in my opinion.
Your characterization was spot-on, and, everything was just perfect. I loved every word, and your writing has moved me to tears.
I can safely call this my favorite piece of fanfiction. I'm sure it'll hold that title for ages and ages to come.
Brb crying forever.
I'm literally balling my eyes out here.
Nothing has ever made me this emotional until my father passed away.
I don't even know what to say besides, you're an amazing writer. I seriously can only hope to be as good a writer as you some day.
This story single handedly gave me a new outlook on life, and also inspired me to start writing again.
I don't even know you, but I owe you so much. Thank you for this great story.
If anypony needs me, I'll be reminding my friends how much I love and cherish them.
I must say, this fandom has done things that still suprise me. There is depth and heart that is hardly ever seen elsewhere, all for a little kids show that is not as well animated as it could be. Yet, you can feel the characters, thay might be pictures on the TV, but in a way, thay are alive as well. It is storys like this that give them greater life, that expresses how, well might sound stupid, but how human thay are.
I must say, well done to the author of this story, it is rare that words can create an emotional attachment, that thay can make me feel for the characters. Yet this time thay have.
This is why fairy tales stop at happily ever after and don't tack on an epilogue. Great job with it though, only complaint I have about the story is the developement of the relationship seems a bit rushed, could have had it stretched out a few days more, still, 5 star story only because I can't select more stars.
That was terrific! Really sad at the end (in a good way) but still terrific!
I'd say this rivals even the most praised and popular fics but I also can't believe this fic isn't already known to everypony!
Thank you for spending so much time in effort into something that I dearly and truly loved.
This...this is art.
"Hey, assholes who think you're artists, read this."
So much feeling put into this.
It started off a bit slow, but once you got going, you got going.
Chapter 7 was a bit crazy and manic and rushed, tad bit nonsensical. Yet I still loved every minute of it.
But this ending, this epilogue right here; that just made it beautiful.
Well done sir, well done. 
What have you done?
Surely minds have been rent asunder in grief, mourning at this epic.
The lines of woven magic hiding in pretense as words, they are disguised as mere lack of light on a backround of white.
They touch the minds of those who observe them, their meaning barely decifered.
What number may lament, for this tale is set. The end has been revealed.
Sudden it seems all shall fall into oblivion, not to be remembered but by what they have wrought upon the world.
And not even then will remembrance pass unfaltering, the cruel force of time bludgeoning all.
The hard truths of this and other worlds do so strike us; through your meanings brought upon us through this medium.
What else is there to be shared? What other wisdoms, virtues of knowledge may pass to us, from this portal of raw, expressed emotion?
Annon, such thoughts are most definitely causeworthy, the progression afforded by the actuality of this text is great and powerful.
The war of life and love, this is a hard thing to understand in it's entirety, yet we glimpse a shard of revelation.
Where would we be if not for such things as this? Surely we would be either further ahead or behind?
Sad though I may be it is the final truth that Never shall my understanding entirely encompass this; for it is True Art!
The thing which this tale embodies does effect us, we are victims to it's perpetuity, lament though some may, in the end all we are is
Dust.
(You made me feel lame so **** you and words.)
The story is quite good, with at the start a focus on the slight uncertainty and angst afforded (and used well) by a pillar of existence becoming not so immutable all of a sudden.
One part which seemed to run almost entirely throughout the story is Twilight's constantly growing amplitude and dexterity with magic. This culminates (but does not end) with her finding some version of what I would call "subspace". (Where energy is more solid and "real" than matter yet both are still present).
The surprise twist was a surprise (I expected another sort of "plot") and that is good.
I feel that the falling in love scene was not too short or quick (Simply put: No one here has directly touched someone's soul as well as mind in the way described) If you bypass the flesh and Language entirely then I would expect, Neigh demand that things of that sort progressed more quickly.
I did not like this ending.
Oh it was very well written, perfectly detailed and with dialogue just right, beautiful artistry (as with the rest of the story).
But I can barely stand seeing all of the doors of possibility being closed upon my mind, all that could of been yet was NOT.
It makes me feel like I am dying: I Hate it.
So well done! Your work of Art has passed my eyes and mind,
and I have judged it to be worthy!
That ending was absolutely beyond magnificent.
I've always loved these poignant little like... "The Price of Being Immortal" things. Because there's a lot of really neat story in there. It is a shame that Twilight was so busy that she couldn't just hang out with her friends for all their mortal lives though. And on the plus side, she's basically a Goddess now. She has the power to step in and out of the universe like it's absolutely trivial. She can call herself an equal to, or perhaps even superior in power to the beings that basically are the day and night sky. So it's hardly a stretch to think that she knows where they're going. It's pretty much a stated empirical fact that there is an afterlife in this universe. So even if Twilight Sparkle sticks around until the sun burns out, and all the matter in the universe winds down to nothing, and everything has gone quiet, she'll still have all the friends she's ever made to look forward to in that place.
And, on the other hoof, who's to say she can't just research a way to go visit there whenever she wants?
ah come on... all chapters were fine, but this... this brought me to tears... i really hate it, when stories do something like that - every protagonist dead and all this ''That's the price for being immortal'' - shit...
i think this will end in a nightmare for twilight -.-'
still, this was a beautiful story, in every kind of matters.
5/5.
Honestly you really ended up ruining the original story. A romance between Twilight and Luna, and a great one at that, now at the end some morbidly depressing fic about alicorns being immortal, and how corrupt Celestia was?
You wrote two stories in one here, and I don't like that at all. You should have stuck with just the original idea, a TwiLuna fic.
You should be proud of yourself. I honestly, have never cried like this before from reading something. And it's not just a simple tear, not, it was a full-blown cry. You managed to reach me in a level I think nothing before ever has. It was a great story, and while the epilogue was sad in its way, it was also very happy.
Good job. Freaking amazing good job.
I do not know how many people that say they are crying actually cry... but I've been dealing with my own mortality and the full realization of what it means to be sentient. The story was quite different than what I thought it would be, but that epilogue... A lot of stories don't have epilogues because everypony knows that there will be a time when all you have are your memories and then not even that. It was cruel of you to write the eventuality of it all when the journey was what we were all there for. Everyone is waiting for AJ up there... I can't be so certain of myself. Tears are something I am not willing to shed for something not canon but throwing it in my face like that was exactly the reason I even became a brony. We all have our distraction so when the end comes its always a surprise. I'll spend a lot of time trying to bury this last chapter because I'd rather remember the journey.
Ok that wasn't fair. This story honestly stuck with me all day at work and I almost cried two more times. I understand that you can write a story anyway you please and it is not fair for me to be critical. I know better and I should work on my toleration of your method. However, please tag your stories appropriately. If I saw Sad as a tag I would run in the other direction from this. You need to understand that I did not know what I was getting into when I started watching the show. Now I am hooked like a drug because it makes my week nicer. I don't need this one thing to be a reflection of my actual life.
Thanks for the ride though. It was honestly a pretty good adventure although romance novels generally need some... romance. 
This was kinda slow to start, but yeah, when this got going, it freaking hauled ass. I like to think of slow starting stories like push-starting a car, or ATV, or Dirt Bike, anything with a manual transmission really. You start off slow, pushing it, then, when your sprinting, you hop on, pop the clutch, and gun it. You take off like a bat outta hell, and there's no better rush. Not good for the engine if you do it alot however.
And here I promised I wasn't gonna cry. This last chapter pushed me off the cliff. 
This was good, but some of the spelling and grammar is off.
"I have done well enoughone my own for the past thousand years, but it is not easy. I am hoping a friendly face will help Luna recover. And I must confess, Twilight, I have my own reasons for bringing you here to Canterlot."
I have never in well over a thousand years gotten ill. I never knew [my] sister to have, beforehand.
I'm pretty sure that theres a few more, but I really want to read the rest of this and don't have time to catch every error
Only error I could find in this one is:
"I apologize. I should not [have] overstepped my place." Twilight bowed. Luna shook her head.
Also, just wondering if english is not your first language. If so you write amazingly well, even if it is you still write much better then the vast majority of people.
The ending sucked.
Why is it that the instant you give someone a keyboard and an inkling of writing talent, their entire ambition becomes to wallow in adolescent despondency and drag everyone else into it with them? Half this damn fandom needs to chomp a Prozac and get up out of that slough of despair they're rolling around in.
awesome, although i had a little hard time understanding what happened to everyone in the epiloge, still gotta go back to make sure exactly. another thing, i had really hard time getting into the story up to chapter 5 (i think); before that the story was kinda dull, but after that; absolutly amazing. the ending really got to me to, i didnt cry, but i never do, im not one for sad endings so i would have liked to have a happier one but awesome nontheless 
Welp I didn't cry at the end. Mostly because I've already read a fanfic that went almost exactly the same way. Can't remember the name of it. It was still really good though. 
And I agree with a dude above, I thought the whole Celestia thing was kinda...well...silly. Why would she even send Twilight to Luna's bedside if there was a chance it could backfire?
Oh well, aside from that, I really liked it. Wish the epilogue had included Luna and Celestia a little. Great story!
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