This story... I stumbled upon this, and being unfazed by clop, thought to give it a shot. Four chapters later, I'm bizarrely into this. Not so much for the clop, but more because I'm starting to follow the characters. Personal hopes are to see the subtle notes of compassion between Shocker and Screw Loose develop more (even in a master/pet sort of way, it is oddly cute to see them growing fond of each other), and I think I'm on board with everypony else to see Straight Lace get some comeuppance. Really expecting to see a conflict of interest between he and Shocker at some point over this. Perhaps I'm just reading too far into it, since this is clop, which typically avoids "deep story" like a hippie avoids MSG, but I'm quite eager to see what happens!
809840 Thanks for the comment! I can't write mindless clop, so it's nice to hear feedback on the deeper parts of the story. Rest assured, there's more in store for our favorite mental patient and her abusive relationship with her guards.
809924 I'm not entirely sure I would say "abusive". Unconventional for damn sure, but it seems to be getting less "abusive" as it goes. Effectively, you've made something incategorical here. Something that sits on the bylines of morality and normalcy, yet still couldn't be viewed as exactly "bad". So, congratulations on twisting that perspective of traditional "romance".
812229 Very. At least with Shocker, it seems he's seeing something in it now, despite having began the tryst as basically a way to get off. He's viewing Screw Loose more as another pony now, although a very... eccentric one. Straight Lace, however, still seems to see her as just an easy lay, which I'm eager to see how that tension builds between the two friends later.
“And I thought a ninja trying to steal my slippers would be the most exciting thing to happen to me at this hospital,” Crab Tree said... i.qkme.me/35xef1.jpg
827450 Your avatar was a partial inspiration! I haven't forgotten that you were the first one to comment on my most popular fanfic: Adventures of a Teenage Foalsitter.
Good luck with your own project! That sick puppy needs more love.
827468 She does. I love Screw Loose so much, but I just haven't been able to get around to making a fic for her. This is definitely going to push me on my way. And I quite enjoy the Teenage Foalsitter one. The perfect mix of lulz and clop.
864600 "Some cancer patients find the process of waiting for their hair to fall out intolerable. Loose hairs fall into their eyes when they’re awake and tickle their faces while they sleep. During showers they feel awash in hair. At some point all the loose strands start to drive them crazy, and that’s when patients ask the nurse for a shave. Patients worry a lot about losing their hair, but we nurses don’t think about baldness much. We’re so used to our hairless patients that we accept it as normal. Cancer drugs target quickly dividing cells, and that includes the cells in hair follicles. Patients tend to lose their hair 10 to 14 days after the start of chemo. It can take several weeks for it to grow back, but by that time they’re probably getting more chemo, so they end up being bald for a long time." -Theresa Brown, R.N.
Oh, this clopfic is just too good man. Not all sex, lots of references and plenty of lols. lots of fucked up fetishes and yet, an adorable connection between her and shocker and straight lace.
Oh my word, I love this. What a lovely ride. (That was punintentional.)
Hopefully you're not going to get mad if I write a sort of un-spiritual prequel about Screw losing her shit and getting institutionalized. Tragedy is what I leak when you cut me, apparently, and now I'm itching at the thought of how a mare slowly comes to imagine she's a dog.
tl;dr: I love this story, and I know it's partly because I'm a bad person, but it's also partly because it's damn good.
So, this is furry furrism?
I don't even know anymore...
809202
Having sex with a mare who thinks she's a dog...
It's a twisted knot of fetishes.
Although I definitely wouldn't classify myself as a 'furry' I'm just your average foot soldier in the steamy underbelly of Bronyism.
Dark humor, oh how I've missed you.
809229 alright would you fuck screw loose in this condition but great story by the way
809718
Glad you like the story.
As far as Screw Loose goes, she's less talky and more animalistic than I like my mares to be.
This story... I stumbled upon this, and being unfazed by clop, thought to give it a shot. Four chapters later, I'm bizarrely into this. Not so much for the clop, but more because I'm starting to follow the characters. Personal hopes are to see the subtle notes of compassion between Shocker and Screw Loose develop more (even in a master/pet sort of way, it is oddly cute to see them growing fond of each other), and I think I'm on board with everypony else to see Straight Lace get some comeuppance. Really expecting to see a conflict of interest between he and Shocker at some point over this. Perhaps I'm just reading too far into it, since this is clop, which typically avoids "deep story" like a hippie avoids MSG, but I'm quite eager to see what happens!
809764 So is that a yes
You know, despite how dirty this is, I'm really starting to like Screw Loose. I think Shocker is too.
She's so cute!
809840
Thanks for the comment! I can't write mindless clop, so it's nice to hear feedback on the deeper parts of the story. Rest assured, there's more in store for our favorite mental patient and her abusive relationship with her guards.
the picture should say "I'm perfectly normal"
809924 I'm not entirely sure I would say "abusive". Unconventional for damn sure, but it seems to be getting less "abusive" as it goes. Effectively, you've made something incategorical here. Something that sits on the bylines of morality and normalcy, yet still couldn't be viewed as exactly "bad". So, congratulations on twisting that perspective of traditional "romance".
812172
Great observations!
Perhaps I was too hard on the guards. It is a perplexing romance, isn't it?
812229 Very. At least with Shocker, it seems he's seeing something in it now, despite having began the tryst as basically a way to get off. He's viewing Screw Loose more as another pony now, although a very... eccentric one. Straight Lace, however, still seems to see her as just an easy lay, which I'm eager to see how that tension builds between the two friends later.
Fair to say, I read too much into things.
this is not funny, not arousing and very wrong but i am still reading because its like a dark, sad, tragic tale......
814677
Different Strokes for different folks. Even if it's not your cup of tea, I still thank you for the feedback.
817152
I agree and concur that redundancy is pointless and unnecessary.
Fixed!
.....................................
“And I thought a ninja trying to steal my slippers would be the most exciting thing to happen to me at this hospital,” Crab Tree said...
i.qkme.me/35xef1.jpg
Very interesting. Keep writing
More, you glorious bastard, more! Also, you have inspired me to write a fic with Screw Loose as well. Maybe not a clopfic, but a fic nonetheless.
827450
Your avatar was a partial inspiration!
I haven't forgotten that you were the first one to comment on my most popular fanfic: Adventures of a Teenage Foalsitter.
Good luck with your own project! That sick puppy needs more love.
827468 She does. I love Screw Loose so much, but I just haven't been able to get around to making a fic for her. This is definitely going to push me on my way. And I quite enjoy the Teenage Foalsitter one. The perfect mix of lulz and clop.
.827478
"The perfect mix of lulz and clop." -Peppy Greyskull
I'll use your quote on the dust jacket when I eventually publish the story as a hardback.
827498
I'd buy it!
828185 I second this.
827498 Best review quote ever.
827705 I was thinking Donkey Kong Country when I read it.
809229 I saw the words "dog" and "knot" and got totally the wrong idea.
I need to get away from the internet for a while.
I'd love to know where it's stated that shaving one's hair is part of cancer treatment.
Because it isn't.
864600
"Some cancer patients find the process of waiting for their hair to fall out intolerable. Loose hairs fall into their eyes when they’re awake and tickle their faces while they sleep. During showers they feel awash in hair. At some point all the loose strands start to drive them crazy, and that’s when patients ask the nurse for a shave.
Patients worry a lot about losing their hair, but we nurses don’t think about baldness much. We’re so used to our hairless patients that we accept it as normal. Cancer drugs target quickly dividing cells, and that includes the cells in hair follicles. Patients tend to lose their hair 10 to 14 days after the start of chemo. It can take several weeks for it to grow back, but by that time they’re probably getting more chemo, so they end up being bald for a long time." -Theresa Brown, R.N.
809840 I can think of multiple clopfics that have serious, and rather interesting storylines. What are YOU thinking of?
Oh, this clopfic is just too good man. Not all sex, lots of references and plenty of lols. lots of fucked up fetishes and yet, an adorable connection between her and shocker and straight lace.
Not enough facehoof to describe this chapter. LMAO!
What an amazing way to go. Too bad he didn't finish before he did die.
AH WELL, funnest death ever.
Never change, you brilliant bastard.
WHAT YOU DID THERE
I SEE IT
Oh my word, I love this. What a lovely ride. (That was punintentional.)
Hopefully you're not going to get mad if I write a sort of un-spiritual prequel about Screw losing her shit and getting institutionalized. Tragedy is what I leak when you cut me, apparently, and now I'm itching at the thought of how a mare slowly comes to imagine she's a dog.
tl;dr: I love this story, and I know it's partly because I'm a bad person, but it's also partly because it's damn good.