Firestar2
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Firestar2 · 18k words · 343 views
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yes continue
I would like to see a trio of crisalida celestia and spike. if possible also if you may be addicted to bondage celestia.
7351251 I might write that for a sequel story, because this one is just about the ponies and dragon in the castle.
Also do you mean Chrysalis?
7351373
yes Chrysalis.
then tell me haras a sequel to this story.
asks how many chapters have current history. a small criticism please do not put sex scenes with six other males mane is distasteful to spike fans.
sorry for my bad english
7351388 There is a sequel but i just started with it. So far this one has 7 chapters totaling around 25k words. And I don't know what you mean by male manes. (New writer sorry)
7351399
I mean, the mane six
with other males no.
only with spike, that meant.
I apologize for my bad English. Spanish fluke not know that it would be easier for me.
7351420 by the way. in scenes of domination do not forget to add dirty talk, you know words like "whore," "slut" ect.
7351452 okay. but gilda is a tomboy and not unattractive eh not seen a single picture that justifies it.
7351460
I'm reading right now. when finished I'll tell you what you could add in the sequel.
Okay, so, Nightmare Moon is basically omnipotent and Rarity is a b*tch without morals.
Harsh. Might be tough to create meaningful conflict with a literal god running things.
Flutterbat oh jajajajajajajajaajajaja you are crazy my friend.
but in a good way and that jajajajajajajaja dominatrix it again.
Poor dash, I feel a little hurt. only a little.
ok It is my idea or pinkie pie is too easy to influence.
ok ya lo lei y aqui esta mi critica y sugerencia para la secuela.
1) me gusto lo del sexo lesbico, pero personalmente no soy fan de las hermafrodita.
2) spike tuvo muy poca participacion en la historia, en la secuela pienso que el deberia tener mas participacion ademas de mas escenas con las otras hembras no solo rarity.
3)me gusto lo que escribiste sobre tener potros, eso es obligatorio. porque de que sirve tener sexo sin proteccion. si nadie queda embarazado. en la secuela debe haber embarazos.
4)cuando se trata de dominar el punto es no solo el placer si no tambien humillacion. por esta razon sugiero que en lugar de control mental en la secuela las otras tres princesas. candace, celestia y luna simplemente sean violadas. preferiblemente por spike.
5)ESTE ES EL MAS IMPORTANTE, NECESITA SER MAS EXPLICITO. sugiero que uses este fic como referencia https://www.fimfiction.net/story/251229/experimentation
6)necesitas un poco mas de accion grupal, ya sabes trios y orgias.
por ahora eso es lo que pienso. tambien si buscas personajes para la secuela ya te dije los que yo quisiera ver.
celestia.
luna.
candace.
Chrysalis.
y si se me permite decir, cuando se trate de celestia. ella considera ah spike como su hijo de modo que imaginate lo humillada que estaria al ser violada ser tratada como puta y posiblemente embarazada de su hijo.
ok se que parece que esto me obseciona pero la verdad es que QUIERO VER UN FIC DE CELESTIA VIOLADA POR SPIKE.
una ultima cosa el ultimo capitulo de la secuela definitivamente debe ser extenso ademas de tener una orgia que incluya ah spike.
esa es mi critica y mi sugerencia. el fic fue muy bueno pero le falto ser mas explisito en las escenas de sexo.
tambien lo puse en español para que se entienda mejor.
7351646 Well... You like go really dark don't you?
7351665
yes. for some reason lately I like dark frames.
but tell me what did you think my ideas.
When the sequel going to be?
7352576 When ever i finish it, but at this time im about 10% done or two and a half chapters done.
7352647 ok.
So what do starlight look like as Umbra?
7353039 Go look up pics of Umbra and give her Starlight's stripes, and a pair of demon horns instead of one.
7353937 why did you block that? I'm on iPad.
This chapter not only hurt my brain, but my mental abilities as well.
7485643 I tried to make sense of Pinkie Pie and failed horribly. I'm sorry for your pain.
Spike: he guys um I'm kinda stuck here can any one help me out of these chains...Never mind
Poor spike was left out of the fun 😞