This one time, at flight camp…
*Snicker*
OK, so it happened back in Junior Speedster Flight Camp. Ah the good ol' days, when flying was still fun. Anyway, we had just finished a great morning flying session and it was lunchtime. I was sitting next my best friend Dash. But I guess now we're not technically… never mind. It was just another ordinary day, or so I thought. Dash was babbling on about the aerial maneuvers she did that morning, but I was just zoning out and mumbling "uh-huh" or "mmm-hmm," even an occasional "wow," just to seem interested.
"…loop the loop around and... WHAM!" She said as I zoned back in, noticing that was the end of her rant. Don't get me wrong, I loved flying just as much as she did. I'd just rather be out doing it.
"Yeah Dash that was awesome!" I said with a beakful of food, acting excited.
"Hey G," Dash looked at me with her head cocked sideways, "whatcha eatin'?"
So then I was like, 'Oh GREAT, this again!' It's like the one thing I really can't stand about ponies. Most of them are lame anyway, but this is the REALLY lame part. They ALWAYS freak out. But this was different… I never had the usual convo with Dash, or the inevitable freak-out. I think I thought she knew already and just didn't question it. But I guess I was wrong. I just swallowed, and got ready for the shitstorm.
"Dash, um…" I began.
She cut me off, "It's meat isn't it?"
So at least she knew, but this was the moment it would all be going downhill. I just nodded and watched her expression. Dash just kept that thinking-face on.
"So griffons eat meat, huh?" I thought that should've been obvious at that point, but at least she wasn't freaking out… Yet…
"Yeah…" was all I could say, still waiting for it.
"Hmm…" she scratched her chin with a hoof.
I gave up waiting and took another bite. Bad idea.
"Can I try some?"
I spat out my food. "DASH! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"
"Yeah…?" She said it more like a question.
I didn't even know what to say or do. I couldn't just feed a pony MEAT! It's unnatural and wrong and… what if she liked it?! What if it made her sick? What would her little animal-loving friend think of her if she found out?
"No!" I said!
"Why not?!
"I… you… it's… it's not right!"
"Aw c'mon G! Just a bite!"
I didn't even know where this was coming from! Why now? We'd been eating lunch together for weeks and I was the only griffon there. The only one of them that was eating take out. I didn't exactly dig the food there. Don't get me wrong, there's some pony food I like, but at flight camp, most of it had hay, oats, or grass. Yeah… no thanks.
Dash scooched over on the cafeteria bench towards me. I put my talons over my food to protect it from her, or maybe it was the other way around. She reached a hoof out to it and I smacked it away.
But Dash was the coolest pony I knew, and if any pony would've asked me to try meat, it would've been her. All the rest of them freak out, one way or another. They either gag or run away. Or both. One of them fainted. Good times.
"Are you REALLY sure you want to?" I had to make sure.
"…Yeah." She lied. She totally wasn't sure.
But I caved anyway and picked a small piece of meat off the bone.
Just as I held it up to her, she asked, "What animal is it?" Pointing a hoof at the meat in my talons.
"Chicken." I said carefully. I knew her yellow pony friend kept chickens. Dash told me all about her. So I thought that might turn her off. And it did. I could see it in her face. But she wasn't backing down. She always was stubborn. Maybe I should have said it was 'pony' instead.
She leaned closer to me and opened her mouth, squinting her eyes and looking away. I gently placed the tiny piece of meat on her little orange pony tongue. I could not believe what I was doing. Was it wrong of me? It felt like it, but this is Dash we're talking about here! She clamped her mouth shut and chewed carefully. She looked around the room like she was trying to remember something. Maybe she was checking if any other pony was watching. She wasn't gagging or spitting it out. At that point I was like 'Oh crap. She likes it. WHAT HAVE I DONE?!'
"It's kinda tough to chew," she said, still chewing it. It wasn't exactly the tenderest chicken, if I remember right, but I guess her flat pony teeth weren't helping. So I decided to help her out with that problem, if ya catch my drift.
She finally swallowed it. "It was weird, but it didn't taste like much… what're you doing?" She said, noticing me doing a certain something.
"Well you had trouble chewing it so I thought I'd help ya with that," I said as I stuck my tongue out, with a little bit of half-digested food on it.
"Did you just… HOCK that UP?"
I nodded and said "Uh-huh!" with an open beak and a huge smile.
"EEEEeeewww!!!"
"Wha?" I mumbled, beak still open. I stored the food in a cheek so I could say the rest, "This is how my mom fed me when I was a cub!"
"That's gross!"
"You sure ya don't want some?" I offered her a tongue-load of regurgitated chicken again and a big open beaked smile again.
"Nooooo thanks… I think I'll stick with my hay sammich," she said. I swallowed the food on my tongue again and breathed a sigh of relief. And so the world was safe once again. And Rainbow Dash never ate meat again. (At least not that I know of…)
Dash picked up her sandwich with her hooves and munched away. One time I asked her how the hay ponies can do stuff like that without claws or talons. But that's a story for another time.
Author's Note: Pardon my heavy use of vernacular, I think it fits Gilda a little better than completely formal writing.
Still waiting for a fic that goes over what pegasus wings taste like
And is unicorn better with herb butter or BBQ sauce?
Fun story!
Nice. I like this. Watched you.
Ham sandwich
Other than that, omnomnom- wait a minute, dammit Gilda you just ate Scootaloo's parents!
Not bad. Not great, but not bad.
And for the record, Rainbow Dash does indeed love bacon.
How 'bout some oatmeal Gilda ?
images.wikia.com/stargate/images/3/3a/O'NeillEatsOatmeal.jpg
I liked it. It answers the gryphon food question, and still manages to be funny. a Like, and a Watch for you. I look forward to more of your work.
This oneshot is the fucking boss, and is now part of my Gilda/Rainbow Dash headcanon. Faved, thumbsupped, loved. I might have snorted at the regurgitation bit.
This is... encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTeyyXcYZcqz1DuOu8Oxji_87W4vcW4NZ1ODC3aGDv5F9dKrBGp
Thanks for the positive feedback guys!
Now she just needs some bacon
Glorious!
Lucky it wasn't Bacon or there wouldn't have been anything that could dissuade her from eating it.
This had me laughing so hard for some reason, now I wonder what Rainbow would be like eatting more meat.....hmm.......I love this!
773248
Oatmeal? Are you crazy?
And as Pinkie's baked bads show, if an equestrian pony eats too much meat, they throw up.
ha ha, I saw this wanted to read it but was reading something else then come back open it up and guess whats in the feature?
way to go man
I can see that you've been busy. Anywhore. Awesome fanfic, I'm surirised you didn't tell me bout this when I Was able to get one the internet.
774055 I'M SO HAPPY!!!
At first I was like SOME FEATURED WRITER STOLE MY PICTURE!
Then I was like ZOMG
Thanks guys! You made this possible!
This so fucking funny the title even made me laugh
Rainbow Dash: "What animal is it?"
Me: static.fimfiction.net/images/story_images/16677.png?1332362244
I like how RD describes the meat as tasteless. Ponies apparently love grass and flowers but if you've ever tried eating one you'd notice it's pretty tasteless. If you're not supposed to eat something, it either has no taste or a bad taste.
Well, this kind of explain the missing pigs on Sweet Apple Acress from tome to time
773248 Oatmeal?! Are you crazy?!
"And Rainbow Dash never ate meat again. (At least not that I know of…)"
What if she's wrong? o.O
Anyway, that was funny. Fave!
774100
Lol, welcome, I think this story was great now that I have had time to read it.
Personally I wouldn't be surprised if someday Gilda doesn't come back probably having had a change of heart, though I bet this would be a chance for some of them to learn forgiveness.
Most likely Applejack by my logic as she would be most likely to hold a "grudge" but not one of just hate or whatever but just one out of honest concern for her friends associating with someone who has shown they are not always the best company.
Sort of like how when they learned about accepting others who are different (zeccora) Twilight didn't just jump in and go, "OMG! SHE IS DIFFRENT! LETS SHUN HER!"
But it was by a chain of events and such that she let herself be convinced to reject the poor zebra which can often be the case and is one of the reasons I think mlp fim is so great in its writing.
ooh, and last but not least
DUN! DUN! DUN!
Though beware, video is not for everyone, I recently learned how to place youtube vids directly in the post rather than using a link but I did it does contain a cow eating a chicken....
774023
774296
Seems like some ponies did get the message, good thing, now I can eat my pie again
GLORIOUS. Have a thumb-up my good sir/ma'am.
Even more gloriously, now Dash can say that air tastes like chicken.
Amazing. Well, except for just one thing...
> "…Yea." She lied. She totally wasn't sure.
774518 What's wrong with that?
774561
I assume lied is functioning as a dialogue tag(like shouted), so the period should be a comma and she should be lower case.
[citation]
774608 Ok, I'm a grammar nazi myself, and that's just ridiculous.
773197
I prefer BBQ sauce, but that's just me.
774627
I guess you forgot to get a copy of The Elements of Style tattooed onto your eyelids :P
773197
Horse meat is somewhat like beef in taste, so I'd use BBQ sauce myself.
773197 Definitely BBQ sauce.
774627 Yeah, it's not ridiculous. It's just correct.
774704 Tattooed on your eyelids? How does it fit? Oh, yeah.
"Be concise. Be concise. Be concise." ~Strunk
774679>>774704>>774803
"Twilight, for the good of Humanity I have an experiment I want to run!"
"Oh! What kind of experiment? I love experiments! "
"A very... delicious experiment."
i.imgur.com/qFTt1.png?1
774854
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx4ymmAahBw&feature=fvsr
774854 NO! not her! I'm actually trying to go vegetarian, which is dangerous since I'm going through a growth spurt.
774866 I've seen that one before. Would you like the recipie for it? Cupcakes cupcakes.
774937
Vegetarian isn't that difficult to balance out a diet before. Vegan is what is crazy difficult (some argue near impossible) to do. Nothing wrong with going vegetarian if that's your thing.
I could never eat Twilight, just look at that face! My heart isn't nearly black and twisted enough to eat the best pony .
774971 A lot of people think shes best pony. In fact I know more than that. I'm going to send a Private message. I'll also be watching you so you never divulge this information to others.
Hahaha! What would Flutters think?
?????
Meat - Tony Iommi feat. Skin
Funny, overall it was a good, short read!
Good fic though.
Apprently Rd got tired of being the pony who had her meat eaten and decided to have some herself.
< But i DID offer her a peice! Picky pony just spat it right out.
773248
Is it bad that I know exactly where that is from and why Jack had to eat oatmeal for 3 weeks?
774023
Horses don't posses a gag reflex...
Then again the show did say "Fuck it"
And made them able to vomit anyway.
775742 Horses don't, maybe intelligent colorful ponies do.
Oh come on, I totally had this idea first!
I think someone pointed out Rainbow was eating a ham sandwich in the beginning of the first royal wedding episode....
-Delta-