"Okay girls, what did y'all find out 'bout Dash?" Apple Bloom asked.
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo shared a look of hopefulness before turning to their apple-grown leader. Several seconds of silence passed. A cricket took advantage of the silence to express its own masterpiece version of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Violin Concerto No. 5 in A, 2nd Movement.
"I... got nothin'. How 'bout you Belle?"
"Nope," said Sweetie smiling obliviously.
"Nut'in'? Nut'in' at all?"
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle shook their heads in unison.
"Prickly pears!" cursed Apple Bloom.
The others winced.
"Sorry. Big Macintosh was givin' me some 'mportant talk yesterday. Somethin' 'bout trains and tunnels, er somethin'. Anyway it took way too long an' I didn't sleep much. 'N I kept have'n weird dreams 'bout Spike."
Sweetie Belle pulled Apple Bloom into a friendly hug. "Aww, group hug."
"No no, I'm good."
"Threesome!" yelled Scootaloo dive tackling her two best friends and sharing one of their better best friend hugs.
After several seconds, Apple Bloom broke the hug. "Okay, yer startin' ta make me feel like I'm at a family reunion er somethin'."
"But we are a family." Scootaloo said with a perfectly normal smile.
"Yeah," Sweetie Belle added, "oh wait, no. We already have families, Scoot-a-lootie patootie. That's why we were trying to get Dash to love you and adopt you. Remember?"
"Yeah... adopt, right."
"What happened between you two anyway?" asked Apple Bloom, "I mean, you two were becoming all sister-like and then ya'all stopped hanging out altogether.”
"Oh, uh, she... ended up being too busy with her practice for the Wonderbolts. After she came back from that camp she has had less and less time for me."
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom shared a look before both put a hoof on Scootaloo's shoulders.
Scootaloo managed a weak smile. "By the way, thanks again for helping me with that magic ritual, girls; even if it didn't work."
"Absolutely," said Apple Bloom.
"Of course," added Sweetie Belle, "I was so happy we could use my new foal's first laboratoory that Rarity got me for my birthday.
"By th' way, Belle. When are ya' gonna be unpackin' that alchemists lab?"
"Oh, I don't know. I mean I can't really unpack everything without adding another pocket dimension. But they only gave me two to work with. I think I'm only suppose to set up the things that interest cause otherwise they would've packed more.
"Awww. I was hopin' ta try and make some potions."
"Oh, well then I guess we could set up a cauldron and some supplies. I mean I'm not using the space in the Southwest corner."
Apple Bloom looked around the cramped, circular underground layer, "The where now?"
"Behind the computer mainframe."
"Ya mean that big metal box with the cables and blinking lights?"
"Yup."
"Cool."
Scootaloo's eyes rolled. "Anyway. We need to find out what happened to Dash. If it's something bad, we gotta try and fix it. I can't stand not knowing, it's worse than waiting for the next part of a story to come out."
"Yeah," said Sweetie Belle, "I mean we don't want to be responsible for doing something like ruining her career."
"Maybe..." added Apple Bloom tentatively, "maybe... we should tell someone."
"What! No!" cried Scootaloo. "I mean we all agreed that this was supposed to be a secret. You promised."
"Whoa there, girl," said Apple Bloom reassuringly, "We aren't saying that we'd break a promise. But maybe we should think about Dash before ourselves. Ah mean we did cast a ritual on her, 'n until yesterday nopony had seen hide nor hair o' her."
"Yeah," added Sweetie Belle, "if you want her to be like family then you need to put her first, even if it would get you in trouble."
Scootaloo sighed. "Yeah, maybe you’re right. Even if we get in trouble, it's better than something bad happening to Dash."
"Sounds like somepony has a letter to write," said Sweetie Bell in a sing song voice.
Scootaloo groaned. "I hate those letters, it feels like homework."
"But it's like homework from the Princess," added Apple Bloom with a mocking smile.
"Whatever."
"Hey!" shouted Sweetie Belle, "I know how we can find Rainbow Dash."
"How?" asked the others.
"We can ask Zecora for something to help us track her down. Maybe a super sense of smell potion, or-or-or... maybe something that lets us see through walls."
"That's silly," said Scootaloo, "stuff like that only exists in bad stories to cover up weak plot points."
"Nu uh," countered Apple Bloom. "I remember her telling me about a potion that she uses to help her find rare urbs."
"You mean rare herbs?" asked Sweetie.
"What in the hay is a herb?" asked Apple Bloom.
"It's like a special plant that you eat."
"Yeah, a urb."
"Herb."
"Urb!"
"Girls!" yelled Scootaloo. "Herbs or uerbs. It doesn't matter. We need to get to Zecora's and back before dark and I don't want to wander around the Everfree alone if I can help it. I mean we all know how stupid that is."
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle shared a parting look before turning back and nodding at Scootaloo.
"All right, now get on my wagon, girls. And put your helmets on, it's gonna be a bumpy ride."
Flying. Not something Apple Bloom was use to, or was she? The wind was whipping through her mane and tail just like it did on Scootaloo's scooter, the scooter being somewhere below her she guessed. The feeling of weightlessness that had always been described to her was somehow absent. It was more of a absence of earth. Gravity still existed, it still pulled at her, but the lack of resistance to the effects of gravity was similar to one being in the air when bouncing on a bed... right before one would bounce off and bump their head.
Either way, the wind rushing by, the lack of any solid contact/resistance to gravity and the forward momentum—all common occurrences to a little filly in their own right—managed to create a wonder to behold: flying.
It was truly a wonder to experience. And only one word could come close to describing what Apple Bloom was feeling at the experience.
"Ahhhhhh!"
The sentiment was echoed by her fellow crusaders.
Scootaloo had accidently driven the three off of a cliff in a desperate attempt to escape a very big and very hungry hydra.
The flight lasted less than half a minute. They crested the hill at near Scootaloo's max speed and then looked down, far below the brown, rock-strewn, bubbling waters of froggy bottom rushed to greet the helpless fillies. As they plummeted, three large bubbles grew and met the fillies several hooflengths above placid waters. After salvation, however, the fillies soon found themselves airborne again, launched by the strange physics that permeated this section of the Everfree. They soon found themselves at nearly the same height as their drop, but their forward momentum had carried them over the rocky crags that lined Froggy Bottom Bog.
This time they would plummet to their certain doom amongst jagged rocks and scraggly pointed pines. As they began to fall for the second time, a flash of light blinded the three helpless fillies. By the time their vision had cleared and the sound of an explosion had rocked their ears, strong legs were setting them gently on the ground.
"Rainbow Dash! You have no idea how glad we are to see you!" said Scootaloo as she hugged her guardian hero.
"Yeah well, you keep falling off cliffs, seriously what's up with that?" asked Dash in his now deep voice.
"Oh, you know..." Scootaloo responded before looking up from her hug. "Oh my goddess! What happened to your face?"
"My... oh, yeah, I got turned into a colt," said Rainbow nonchalantly.
Three sets of blank eyes stared directly into Dash's soul.
"What?"
"Uh, h-how—what I mean to s-say is… h-h-how?" Apple Bloom stuttered.
"No clue," said Rainbow simply.
"This is terrible. Rainbow Dash, I am so, SO, sorry," cried Scootaloo as she hugged Dash's leg.
"It's not so bad. There are some perks to being a colt, you know. Just like there are perks to being a mare... just different perks," said Rainbow with a grin.
"Like what?" asked Sweetie Belle.
"Oh you know, stronger flight instead of agility, I don't have to sit when I pee, and well, you know," said Rainbow with a broadening grin.
"Know what?" came the chorused response.
"Um, how should I put this? Some things are different between mares and stallions. And, well, ya know, I'm not so sure I should be the one to tell you about such things. I'm kinda new to all this myself," said Dash.
"Just pretend that we have a vested int'rest in your condition," said Apple Bloom with a serious voice.
"Why would you have a vested interest?" asked Rainbow. "For that matter, why do you girls even care? I’m still the best flyer in Equestria."
"Oh, uh," stammered Sweetie, "you’re just—"
"The most awesome mare in Equestria," Scootaloo broke in, "I mean you make all us girls look good."
"Yeah!" smiled Dash, "I am pretty awesome, so I guess that makes sense."
"So, uh, why don't you tell us what happened to ya?"
"Well that’s simple. One night I had a weird dream where I was shot with a neon green laser with a swirling pink and cobalt blue tint. The next day I woke up, went to do some laps, and nearly crashed into the ground. I saw my reflection in some water and realized my face was square, so I went to Applejack for help." Rainbow finished to the nervous looks of the three crusaders. "You girls okay?"
Apple Bloom was the first to recover her confidence. "Oh, uh, yeah. The idea that you had a dream about magic zapping ya and then turning into a colt is just kind a’, I guess freaky."
"Yeah, freaky, hehe," said Scootaloo in an attempt to back up her compatriot.
"Freaky, hehe," added Sweetie Belle 'helpfully'.
The other two crusaders glared at her to be quiet.
"I guess," said Dash with some confusion.
"Uh, well, besides your face, what else changed?" asked Scootaloo both trying to distract Rainbow and somewhat curious.
Dash thought for a moment about how much to tell the crusaders. "Well, Twilight said I was changed at the generic level, so... everything. My voice is deeper, my face is square, and I have more muscle; which has really messed with my balance—"
"Sorry," mumbled Scootaloo quietly.
"What?" asked Rainbow.
"Oh, uh, sorry. That's gotta suck."
"Yeah, almost killed Derpy, or was it Ditzy... Aww I can never tell them apart. I need to remember to bring them one of Pinkie's special limeade apology muffins.
"Ohh," squealed Sweetie Belle, "The ones that start off pleasantly tart and become sweet as you eat!"
"The very same."
Again, the other crusaders scowled at Sweetie, this time for wandering off topic.
"Anyway," said Scootaloo turning back to Dash. "Does anypony know how this happened?"
"Nope," said Rainbow, "Twilight is at a loss, which kind of worries me a bit. I mean I'm not scared or anything, I just don't want this kind of thing happening to anypony else. It's been a real hassle."
"What do ya mean a hassle?" asked Apple Bloom.
"Everypony is overreacting in my opinion. But worst of all I got a reputation I need to protect," said Rainbow as she began to rant, "The Wonderbolts know me as a mare. If I turned into a stallion, questions would have to be answered, questions I don't know the answer to. Some ponies might think I had the princess turn me into a colt or something to get an edge, which would be completely off base. This square face is clearly not aerodynamic."
"Don't colts also have an outie?" asked Scootaloo with a hoof to her chin in thought.
"A what now?" asked Apple Bloom.
“You mean that stick thing?” asked Sweetie Belle now also curious.
“Ohhh,” said Apple Bloom, “you mean a [censored].”
“Yeah,” said Dash nonchalantly, “I got one of those too. It replaced my innie.”
“That,” said Scootaloo with a raised eyebrow, “has to be weird.”
“It is. But Zecora used her magic on me, so it shouldn’t be a problem for a while.”
“Why would it be a problem?” asked Sweetie Belle.
Rainbow collected her thoughts for a moment. “Well you see—“
“Wait!” interrupted Apple Bloom. “Are ya sure you should be giving us the talk? I mean isn’t that something families normally s’plain to their own foals?”
“Does it matter?” asked Scootaloo with surprising fervor. “Dash is like a big sister to me, and we both know that my mother is too busy to explain anything serious.”
“No.” said Rainbow. “She’s right. This is supposed to be something that families explain to their kids. But I know my parents didn’t explain any of this to me, and until this all happened I didn’t even know anything really. So if you want, I’ll explain what I know to ya, Scoots. But I think you two should ask your families to explain the differences to you. Apparently this is some big deal for some reason, so everypony feels they have to share their own feelings on the matter.”
Apple Bloom nodded. “I know my brother and sister said they wanted to tell me, but they never got around to it.”
Dash nodded. “Yeah, your sister couldn’t even talk to me about it, and we’re best friends. Maybe you should ask your brother.”
“That’s a good idea. I’m sure Big Macintosh knows everything about this sort’ah thing.”
“I’m sure I could ask Rarity,” added Sweetie Belle.
“Yeah,” said Rainbow, “She seemed to know about this. How about we get out of this forest and you can all go talk to your families. I can talk with you, Scoots, since I have taken you under my wing n’all.” Dash punctuated this by putting a wing over the now blushing filly.
“What were you doing here anyway?”
“Visiting Zecora,” declared Sweetie Belle.
The other two CMC winced, hoping Dash didn’t keep asking questions.
“Oh, well. I don’t think there is time for that today. It’s getting dark and we’re a bit off the path.”
“Yeah, that hydra sure did a number on us,” said Scootaloo with a heavy chuckle.
“Well then, let’s get you three home. You must be tired after being chased all the way out here.”
A collective sigh from the fillies signaled the end of the day’s adventure.
And somewhere, deep underground, a forlorn cricket continued to play.
1882089
Below the dirty, lowbrow exterior is a somewhat intricate story line that would seem somewhat different if you knew the ending.
“Ohhh,” said Apple Bloom, “you mean a [censored].”
Many lols were had.
Yes... or maybe I don't know. Too tired but yay for another chapter.
apple bloom i think thats what big mac was telling you with the trains and the tunnles
1885211
Ya got that did you.
I feel sad for that cricket. All he ever wanted was to be recognized, and now he's trapped in an underground laboratory at the border of the metaphysical planes of time and space. such a sad fate for an artist such as him.
I wonder if he will find a way through the borders of reality and make an appearance elsewhere...
Nah.
Now I'm really confused...
1897666
?
As in the story confused you, the comments confused you, or you realize that things aren't what they seem?
1902368
Yes.
1903340
I can't help you, I'm
1906224
1906224 im so sorry to hear that
Yupp... definitely loving this story. I can't wait for the next chapter!
So, umm... yeah. What was it that Dash was about to say that Zecora did, before he realized that he shouldn't say it in front of little fillies? xP
I would like to make one suggestion here as well. Please stop going back and forth between using "he" and "she" for Rainbow, because it's kind of confusing. I would suggest using one entire editing session for the sole purpose of making sure that you use the same gender words all the way through each chapter. There are a few other grammatical errors as well, but I'm sure you get harped on all the time about those, so I'm going to lay off on that for once.
I Rainbow Blitz!
1974128
Yeah, this was my first published story and it has some problems.
I usually try and find all the he/she problems but then i end up doing edits and making more. Ill go back over this tomarrow night then if work isn't to busy.
I am fine with people pointing out technical errors or even questioning other choices. It's how I learn
Anyway glad you enjoy it.
1974318 It really is quite enjoyable. O3O
When do you think you'll have the next chapter up?
1979280
I am in the process of rewriting a one shot recounting the origional nightmare moon incident from the perspective of the zebra on the other side of the world.
I also actively edit/pre-read 3-4 other stories, so about 3 chapters a week. After that RD will be next priority and now that the main cmc
minefieldchapter is done it should go quicker. Maybe 3-4 weeks. Then again if I get extra motivation (say from encouraging comments ) I might have it out next week.I am a slow writer after the initial few chapters in a fic in a story. Too many ideas and ADHD plus still a very average writer. But I am looking forward to getting to the last planned chapter which is going to be about as fun as all the others combined.
Maybe I'll work on it tonight as you have relit my fire.
1979455 I have? O3O Now I feel super good about myself, helping out an awesome writer and all.
I know how it is with stories losing momentum, though. The main reason I haven't posted any stories on here yet is because I'm afraid of disappointing readers the way I have on other sites. I generally tend to get two or three good chapters and then -insert pfft noise here- my inspiration's gone, and I have to take a break. Dx
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck on your other stuff you're doing. I may even read some of it, if you'd like to tell me where to find it. :3
1982477
Click on my name, what's in a name,
To discover my fame, or lack ther of.
Seriously if you want more of any authors works on fim fiction, the only place I post my
crapworks, below the banner at the top is site information and below that is the information for the author including all their stories.I know the feelings of loosing inspiration. I recently discovered that if I limit myself to two stories and don't let myself write anything else except for notes on stories I want to write that I get some extra motivation.
You could also stick to one shots and small stories first. Once you get a few under your belt move to bigger stories. It sounds stupid but it will help a lot. (Thank you psychology degree)
If you want some help on a story let me know. I like helping other authors as much as writing on my own; which slows me down but in the end I am still contributing to this wonderful fandom.
1984274 I wouldn't want to slow you down.
Anyway, yeah. I generally don't try to write them all at the same time, but my problem is that once the idea gets in my head, it won't get out unless I do something with it. Then, when I'm trying to work on something else, I can't stay focused on that, and so I end up not finishing it. It's really kind of frustrating. x/
I currently have two pony stories in my head. For one of them, I actually have the plot laid out and everything, and it just needs to have details filled in. For the other, I have lots of details and stuff that I want to be in there, but there's no definite plot. I know it sounds so ridiculous, but that is the way my brain works... and quite against my will, might I add.
1984306
Well, if you ever want some help I would be happy.
You might also want to look at editing/pre-reading for others. It is something I did to make up for the editing I recieved and now I love it as much as writing if not more. It also helps me learn to focus better.
1984420 That might be something to try. Thank you for the helpful advice.
1986312
Absolutely.
My guess is that you want also start writing with a bit of caffeine, assuming your not dependent, and only imbibing such a stimulant when you write. This should help your concentration and by only doing it when you write (yes you can have some other times but try to keep it mostly to writing) then you will condition yourself to writing when you drink caffeine while associating writing with a reward. It's a nice little circle of conditioning and self improvement.
Then again, most people like caffeine to much to do this. Even if you don't limit yourself, as long as you dont drink caffeine to often it should help with concentration.
1986409 lawlnope. I am a major caffiene-addict. I do tend to do most of my writing at night, though, and I usually have some sort of caffienated drink beside me while I'm doing that. If I get really into what I'm doing, though, I sometimes forget to drink it. xP
I had some trouble following which CMC was talking in the beginning section. It seemed like Scootaloo was talking like Applebloom sometimes, though I can definitely see how that could happen. Still, fact remains that it lost me a few times.
I see what you did there. And in a few sentences near that, lol.
There were a couple spots that I thought seemed like logic errors or awkward wording, but I couldn't find them when skimming back. Oh well. It was only a couple anyway.
Finally, I find this all the more amusing given that they live in a nudist society.
1986409 Does conditioning really work if you know you're conditioning yourself, or are you really just subconsciously choosing the desired behaviour regardless of the stimuli?
1984274 Speaking of writing, I'm finally writing some stuff on my own, discovering a previously untapped source of creativity within myself. (Although it's nothing that I'll post anytime soon. I like to get things almost completed and perfect before showing them off. ) I've been inspired by the art (in the broadest sense of the word) of this community. It's truly an amazing grouping of people. You're one of the writers who has positively affected me. So thanks!
2096302
I write a lot of Scootaloo and AB with a similar style but that has to do with me writting kids and their perspectives in the show (and often in real life) often have more similarities a they are more likely to have similar life experiences. As to the writing being confusing that happens to some authors where things will be confusing sometimes but looking back they are not. It means I need to improve on that but it will come with experience. I tend to write stories from odd perspectives and should probably take some time to write normal stories. I hope to finish this soon so I can start working on one actually.
Yes, conditioning will work but for some people, like me, it does not if you know you are doing it to yourself. However this is not a problem with conditioning it is usually a problem with motivation. For instance I want to write more and enjoy writing but easily get distracted, often by my own thoughts. I know things that I can do that would help but honestly working on writing 3-5 hours a week on various stories, many of which will only ever be outlines, satisfies me.
I am glad I am a motivation to someone. Seriously you have no idea how much that means to me. If I was not at work, and actually had stuff to do, right now I would immediatly jump back into the story knowing that I am making a difference to someone more than just pasing the time with a few giggles.
2096375 You have a good point there, but I was thinking more along the lines of accents. I would have saved those spots I found confusing, but I didn't feel like breaking immersion by copy/pasting stuff. I was enjoying the story too much. I find your perspectives pleasantly mentally challenging. In other words, you make me think.
Yes, it's just something about the way you craft things. Regardless of any little errors along the way, it shows vision. That's where one transcends mere words and enters the realm of storytelling. Vision is inspiring.
2096411
Also let me know if you want help on your story. I find I am more motivated in helping others than doing my own stuff. It's one reason I spend so much time helping others.
2096411
Just to let you know.
1) The next chapter is in the process of being edited, so It should be out some time this week. Which means it will only be another month or so (lawl I am so bad at promises)
2) I just reread you encouragment and am about to jumop into the next chapter because of it. I normally only do this when I find inspiration or get everything laid out in my head, which got harder with Zecora and the CMC in this story, but I figure I can jump in and at least make headway.
2140768
1) Great! (I'm no better. )
2) Good luck! I know Zecora and the CMC can be hard to do, but you'll pull through.
2096520
Unfortunately my story hasn't got off the ground yet. Too busy with school, regular pony site browsing, and family emergency stuff. Everything's (will be) okay. Just stuff. ... Sorry, I just felt like sharing.
2142122
If you want to talk about it feel free to message me.