A Party To Remember
A cyan pegasus stood at the edge of a high cliff. She looked down at the rocky terrain at the bottom, she breathed slowly. How easy it would be, to just jump, and not pull up. To just let gravity take her to the sharp, jagged rocks at the bottom of the cliff.
Rainbow Dash couldn’t believe how it had ended up this way, how she was pushed to her limits, and was now feeling as if giving up were the only way out. Closing her eyes, she thought back to everything that had brought her to this moment. Not only the bad moments, but the good as well, a certain party in particular, to be precise.
1 year ago, Sugarcube Corner
A group of best friends had all gathered at Ponyville’s top bakery, for a party in honor of something nopony could honestly say they had expected.
“Ah still can’t believe ol’ Rainbow Dash was the first one to get married and be expectin’! That just beats all, don’t it?” An orange earth pony said, giving the expectant pegasus a friendly knock on the shoulder with her hoof. Dash laughed, it was a laugh that was warm and full of life, the laugh of a mare who had so much to be happy about.
“Jealous AJ? I’ve been married to Soarin like forever and you’ve only been dating for a few months with what’s-his-name. And I’ve got a little filly on the way too!” Dash laughed again, grinning at her farm pony friend.
“Shoot Dash, yah know I’m happier than Granny Smith when she’s makin’ Zap Apple jam about all this for yah. And his name is Topsoil, beg yer pardon.” Applejack replied, trying her best to look upset as she said the last part, but a smile ruined the effect.
The orange earth pony had been with Topsoil, a stallion who’s coat was a deep rich brown, with a dark green mane, giving him the overall appearance of a tree when he stood on his hind legs and held arms out, for just under 6 months, but the stallion was treated like family when he first started staying at Sweet Apple Acres with the Apple Family. Dash had to admit, the two made a great pair, and Topsoil was a hardworking farm pony, and the orchard’s trees had seemed to be doing much better the longer he stayed, which made it easy to understand why his cutie mark was a group of thick, tall trees.
It had brought memories of her own stallion, Soarin. Rainbow Dash’s marriage to the Wonderbolt was a happy marriage, as it had always been, ever since Soarin had proposed to the cyan pegasus five years ago. She had to admit that she was shocked to tears when not only all of her friends, but the rest of the Wonderbolts, and even Princess Celestia and Princess Luna had attended the wedding. The reception was originally going to be in Cloudsdale, but for the convenience, not to mention space, to accommodate all the extra guests, the princess sisters had graciously offered to hold the event in the castle in Canterlot, and Princess Celestia herself would be the one to wed the two pegasi.
And after Soarin and Rainbow Dash moved in together, they had a few years to themselves, to enjoy the love they had for each other. Eventually, Dash had asked Soarin about having foals, who naturally agreed to his mare’s request. Their little pegasus filly was going to be born soon, and this predictably led Dash’s pranking partner to throw her a “Congratulations Rainbow Dash On Getting Pregnant!” party, which brings us back to the aforementioned party.
“OH BOY! I just can’t wait to see my little niece Dashie! Auntie Pinkie Pie is going to teach her how to throw super duper fun parties for everypony! And how to make cupcakes, pound cakes, hotcakes, pancakes, ice cream cakes, and even-“ Pinkie had started rambling enthusiastically, before having a cupcake shoved into her mouth by a lavender unicorn. Twilight smiled apologetically at Dash.
“I’m sorry about that Rainbow Dash, you know how Pinkie Pie can get.” The librarian pony said, laughing slightly at the pink earth pony beside her who was still failing her arms enthusiastically, not seeming to notice she couldn’t speak.
Dash chuckled at the antics of Pinkie. “Yeah, I thought maybe dating you would calm her down a bit, but that failed, right egghead?”
Twilight Sparkle blushed slightly at the cyan pegasus’ words. Even though she had been marefriends with Pinkie Pie for almost a year now, she still blushed every time somepony mentioned it. Not from embarrassment at being with such an eccentric pony as Pinkie, but more so at being in a ‘more-than-just-friends’ relationship at all.
“Well, I’m going to take Pinkie over to the punch bowl and try to get her to settle down, I’m not sure she can breathe to well with the cupcake in her mouth.” Sure enough, Ponyville’s premiere party pony was still smiling and waving her hoofs in the air, but her normally bubble gum pink color was turning a slight, almost Twilight-ish purple, not that she showed any indication of being in distress as Twilight used her magic to lift her into the air and towards the buffet table and punch bowl.
Rainbow Dash just shook her head grinning. “Man, those two are so random.” She trotted over to Rarity and Fluttershy, who were having a pleasant conversation about French fashions.
“Um.. Rarity, I think you should try a more Renaissance style in- Oh, h-hello Rainbow Dash, did you need to talk to Rarity? I can go talk to somepony else if you want.” The timid yellow pegasus whispered, hiding in her faint pink mane. She shuffled her hooves, not wanting to speak anymore till Dash had made a decision.
“Nah Fluttershy, I’m just seeing what’s up with two of my best friends, ya know? So what’s up you two?” Dash asked, looking between both the fashionista and animal lover. Rarity was the first to answer, as Fluttershy was still hiding in her mane.
“Well darling I have been very busy with the simply massive order Fancypants placed last week, you know how it is dear. And Fluttershy, bless her heart, was kind enough to offer some of her opinions and advice, she’s very knowledgeable about the matter to be quite frank. I haven’t forgotten your maternity clothes, don’t you worry one feather about that. I’ve even put slits for you wings in them, so you can still stretch your wings. You needn’t ask me about your special requests dear, I put you cutie mark on each and every one of them!” Rarity gushed, as nothing excited her more than designing dresses and such. Rainbow Dash just rolled her eyes and turned to her fellow pegasus, who looked at her from behind her mane as if it were a security blanket.
Dash knew just how to get Fluttershy out of this phase. “Hey Fluttershy, you’re still helping with the delivery, right?” She chuckled as the introverted pegasus before her immediately brightened, and seemed to glow.
“Oh yes! I wouldn’t miss that for anything Rainbow Dash!” A faint pink blush started creep up on her face, which, thankfully in the timid pegasus’ opinion, went unnoticed by Rainbow Dash. “We are best friends after all, so I’ll be there to help you with everything, since you decided to have an at home birth. I just need to get some things from Nurse Redheart though, because foal births are different from bunny births you know.” Fluttershy smiled gently, hesitantly reaching out a hoof to the slightly bulging stomach of the expectant mare, touching her stomach gently after getting a nod from Dash that it was okay. “Oh my, I can feel her moving ever so softly. She’s going to be beautiful, just like her mother.”
“Yeah, her mom is pretty awesome, like 20% more awesome than anything in Equestria, and my little Sunny Skies is gonna to grow up to be just as radical!” Dash grinned, already thinking about her daughter’s future, even though she hadn’t even entered the world yet. “Well I’m gonna see how AJ’s holding up, I kinda got sidetracked by that crazy Pinkie Pie. See ya Rarity, see ya Fluttershy!” With that, she trotted away, leaving the other two ponies to their previous conversation.
Applejack as it turned out, was leaning on a table, empty cups of cider littered the table, and the apple loving earth pony blinked and grinned at Dash. “Why hey there Sugarcube! Hic! Great purty.. Err, porty… Ah mean party! Yeah, party! How yah doing Rainbow Cider, want some Apple Dash?” Applejack had apparently managed to stun herself with the cider, which Dash had not had been able to drink any of. Again.
“Uh AJ, I think you might wanna go home, before you pass out here like the last time you overdid it with the cider.” Dash sighed, smiling slightly as she hoisted the farm pony back up on her hooves.
“And miss the rest of yer party? Nu-uh! Nothin’ doing! Ah’m staying!” Applejack emphasized her point by putting her hoof down forcefully on the table. Or at least that’s what she had meant to do, but she missed the table completely and ended up sprawled out on the ground. “Well… Maybe Ah am gettin’ a little dizzy. Hey Rarity! Ah’m gonna need help gettin’ back home, unless yah really need to stay that is.” The orange earth pony called out across the room. The unicorn in question simply rolled her eyes, smiling wryly.
“I’m sorry everypony, but I have to leave and take Applejack back to the boutique, you understand, right?” Rarity smiled apologetically to the rest of the room, all of which gave general replies of understanding, and wishes for Applejack to have as smooth a morning as possible after her cider caught up with her and she had to fight a hangover, a fight which Applejack had always inevitably failed to win. The white unicorn took a page from Twilight’s book, lifted the red-faced farm pony up with her magic, and trotted out the door, back to her dress shop.
“Wait a minute, did she just say the boutique?” Rainbow Dash asked, the surprise on her face was obvious. She would never admit it to anypony, but she could be very oblivious. How she could have missed this new revelation though, had stumped her.
Fluttershy was the first to speak, an almost amused smile on her face from the look on the stunned pegasus’ face. “You didn’t know? Rarity and Applejack have been together for three months now. You must be very focused on your foal and Soarin to not have noticed it.” Her eyes widened when she realized what she had said, and immediately backtracked, trying to fix the damage she thought she had caused. “I m-mean, not that you shouldn’t pay attention to them, but it.. was kind of… obvious… and…….” The already quiet peagsus’ words had grown steadily quieter, until they had reached the point where her mouth could be seen moving, but her voice was audible.
Rainbow Dash snorted and waved a hoof dismissively to dissuade Fluttershy’s fears of upsetting her. “Relax, I’m not mad, and I guess I was caught up with everything that’s been happening lately. Hehe, who would’ve thought those two would end up together? Rarity’s a drama queen who hates dirt and anything ‘unfashionable’, and Applejack’s a farm pony who loves to get dirty and work hard.” Dash chuckled, putting a hoof to her chin. “But then again, a boring librarian unicorn and a pranking party pony don’t seem the likeliest pair either.”
Fluttershy giggled softly as she looked around the room. “I think maybe we should… Um… Leave, Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie seem… busy…” Fluttershy squeaked, a blush overtaking her face as she pointed the pair, who were sitting in a corner, nuzzling each other, thinking they were hidden by a potted plant Twilight must have magicked up to try an hide them, but it didn’t do a very good job.
Rolling her eyes, the soon-to-be mother trotted to the door, holding it open for the other pegasus, who graciously thanked her, told her to be careful flying home in the dark, and headed home after a last good-bye.
Rainbow Dash took one last look at the now entangled ponies in the bakery, reminding her of her own love, who was waiting for her to return. She unfurled her wings, and after giving them a few test flaps, took to the night sky, flying back to her cloud home.
Present Day, Cliff Edge
Rainbow Dash, sighed slightly, a broken smile on her face. It was odd, she thought, that such a happy event was part of the reason why she currently standing on the edge of this lonely cliff, preparing to jump. But the memory of the party had always dragged with it sadder moments of her life. It was almost ironic when she thought about it, that the day the joyful celebration in her honor had been on a bright and sunny day, with skies as clear and blue as her coat, and one of the saddest, soul crushing moments of her life had been on a very similar day.
The memory was emotionally and physically painful for Rainbow Dash, because every time the memory came up, it always seemed that the skies had been mocking her, the sun Princess Celestia raised shining in a tauntingly bright manner. It was a day she could never forget, even if she could rid herself of it, she would never have the heart to. After all, it was the only time she had been able to see her daughter, even if royal blue pegasus foal hadn’t been moving when Dash had first seen her. The day was painfully burned into her mind, her heart, and her soul forever.
The day that Rainbow Dash’s daughter, Sunny Skies, had died at birth.
Author's Notes
Hi there everypony, this is my first attempt at something sad and I would like some feedback, please? I hope this chapter makes you want to stay around and read the next chapter.
To my fans, NO I am most certainly not abandoning any of my other stories, The I'm The Villain? fans will get their mischievous moon mare's update soon, and Discord's Day and Ping Pong Just Got 20% Cooler will get continuations asrequested when I have the time and caffeine.
So much win.
Did you pair AJ up twice?
768763
Yes IT did.
I seriously want some author to completely give us a plot twist in a story like this. You should definitely have the next chapter:
And then she jumped and died.
The End.
"...when I have the time and caffeine."
XD Gotta remember that one. This story is really nice, and now I feel obliged to read your other fanfics too
Aw god, this is pretty sad. I think you could have been slightly more poetic in describing Rainbow's depression, but the party flashback was very well done and insanely detailed. Lots of hard work into this, you put. Heh heh. Yoda.
Anyways, I think if this is your first attempt at sad, it is quite good, especially for a first chapter. Besides that, the whole story from the part where they said Rainbow was pregnant I was like, "No. No. Oh gawd, what if the baby died? What if Soarin' left? Oh gawd." And then you did it. You dropped that whole bomb and got me all
I think this is developing very well. If you keep up on it, you'll see a lot more supporters!
768824 the pain from the stones piercing her body was excruciating but was nothing compared to her emotional pain.
Amazing story, please continue!
Well, I'm not usually one to get depressed over Fanfics, but this one and My Little Dashie are a few that are excused from that fact.
Great work. Very detailed, very well written. Also, the emotions you conjure up are like those of that are in the actual show.
I seriously hope you finish this soon, because I don't believe I can wait much longer for another chapter.
-Storm
Other than AJ being paired up with two ponies, unless that was intentional, wonderful start.
Now, make more before we sick Fluttershy on you.
... Rarity and Applejack and Topsoil. Woot. THis is great, and well thought out-I'm excited for mre.
Ugh what the fluff she better not jump
Brony... that was deep...
Some sentences are awkward, you seem to 'tell' rather than show at certain points which DOES detract from the story, dialogue tags aren't done properly... all in all, mediocre story. Better than what 60% of this site can muster up, but I won't be following it. Learn from your mistakes and improve!
Best of luck,
Carmine.
I'd like to start off by saying that the revelation at the end was extremely well done. Even though something to that effect was telegraphed from very early on, it was still very emotionally impacting and the manner in which you presented it was excellently done. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the way you handled the sections of Rainbow on the cliff was very well done. Both provided a basis for Rainbow's mindset and both added to her conflict and her character.
That being said, the party flashback felt like I was simply being hit with a frying pan of exposition with every sentence with little to no set up for much of the barrage of, at times, shocking information being thrown at the reader. While I think Carmine might have been a bit harsh, there's something to be said for the showing vs telling. The exposition at times seems to be done for its own sake without anything to back it up, and actions that seem only tangentially related to what's being said at the time. It kind of makes the dialogue very blunt and forced and makes Rainbow's inner monologue and flashbacks very stilted and full of "Here's information you need to know".
Honestly there are flashes of brilliance here, and overall its fairly well done. The flashbacks within the flashback creates a very odd sense of what's actually happening at the party, which if you were to remove Rainbow's inner flashbacks is very little. I think that this could have benefited at lot from simply having more description of the party and the interactions of the people at the party. Having two characters show information or discover information instead of it being narrated will tend to operate a lot smoother and there's actually very little interaction to work from here. The vast majority of the party we spend inside Rainbow's head. Which at times is useful and at other times is simply talking at the reader.
I think the concept is interesting and, again, in the scenes where Rainbow is literally on her own (which you even spent letting her discover the memories and events, as with the party dragging the sadder memories back to her) the writing is very well done. You may disagree with any of my opinions as they are simply my opinions, but I do think there's some validity to it and I hope you'll at least consider it and think on these things, even if you do choose to disregard them in the end.
Good luck to you.
-Duskrider
This was really good so far; keep up the good work!
768763 AJ's no one trick pony
768824 He? I hope that's a typo..
768912 Aw, thanks, I wasn't sure if I got the sadness of it up to a proper level or not
768993 Since you asked nicely
769091 Wow, you have no idea how much you just brightened my mood by comparing this to something like MLD I'm literally torn between and Like happy crying or something.
769096 I actually didn't see it till I had posted it for submission, but due to a lack of caffeine at the time, I decided to let it slide. Not to worry, I have a plan for AJ. And please don't sick 'Shy on me
769258 Pleading the 5th
769537 Thank you very much
769578 Awwwwwww, you killed my happiness!
I'm kidding, I greatly, greatly appreciate it. I do hope you'll give me another chance though, I was a bit distracted by the not so soothing sounds of cows when I wrote this, don't ask, but now I am back at my peaceful city home and have the proper tools to write my next chapter. Dialogue tags? Sleep deprivation induced stupidity at work
770302 You know, it's people like you that make me...
Want to improve myself as much as possible , and I don't think Carmine was harsh, he was just telling me what he thought, as did you, for which I'm am extremely grateful. While I hate you for making me read a huuuuuuuuuuuuge post, I love you for you tips and advice. I never disregard any comments, unless their completely ridiculous or obviously biased or hateful. I really appreciate the helpful criticism that you and Carmine provided, I will take both of your offerings of sound advice to heart and try my best to improve the quality of my work.
770810 Thank you, I will do all within in my power to make you cry!
That might have come out wrong..
771656 I was thinking of writing a Fic like this not too long ago, about the Mane 6.
Not sure if i should continue it now, since I have the motivation from this story, or if I should drop it since this fic popped up.
Decisions, decisions!
Well, if I'm going to, I might as well ask for your permission, to make a counter part to this. May I?
-Storm
771705 Not my call, but if it makes you feel better, go ahead!
But I can has a credits?
771729 Personally, I prefer to get permission from authors of fics I try to write counterparts to.
I'll definitely give you credit. It would be rude if i didn't, wouldn't it?
Anyways, I'll keep you posted about it, right after I finish the grueling Fallout: Equestria project I'm working on now. A whole lot of Caffeine and Rockstars went into that book, and I intend to finish it. But directly Afterwards, I'll start on the counterpart.
Also, thanks!
-Storm
771768 Caffeine, thank Celestia for that beautiful invention
771818 Eeyup. With out that invention, I would be lost.
Anyway, Time for this Brony to hit the Hay (Oh the Puns)
Sadly, I am without my coffee maker at this moment, so writing will have to wait.
Good night Everypony!
-Storm
My baby died so I'm gonna kill myself... What? I understand it's bad. Not suicide bad, though. A like for your efforts.
771656 I suppose if you don't think it was harsh than all the more good for you. I know I would have been insulted and incensed, so I am impressed you are not.
As for me, I am confused as to why I make you . There was never any intention of making you angry, in fact I really fail to see what it is that would make you angry in the first place. For whatever it is I apologize, though please let me know what it is.
'Til then.
-Duskrider
771656
Sorry, fixed it for you.
771656 Puuurfect!
772018 It ain't done yet..
772708 The was a joke, I just forgot to put a in the next sentence, I'm not mad at all, people like you and carmine just make me want to do better.
772833 Psh, I didn't really care
773093 Thank you?
772018 I disagree....you lose everything you ever loved and have....yes. she should jump, after all, if you lost your mate and friends and even more so your heart and soul then you have nothing else to live for.
As for the story, I LOVE how Rainbow Dash has to deal with depression, it's one of my favorites.....maybe you should have Death speak to her as well...I'll be tracking this and hoping to get an amazaing read...hope she jumps and does not bail out with her wings at the last second.
773805 Earnestly I'd like nothing more than for you to succeed and be your best. And seeing the Pinkie icon does let that statement make a lot more sense.
I'm glad that you found my critiques helpful, and I can only hope that they help you grow. I'll certainly be checking back on this, because its an interesting premise (and if you'd prefer me not to publicly comment, just let me know and I'll just message them).
'Til the next, to Esperance.
-Duskrider
then why cant rainbow dash just try to have another foal?
Hahaha, yay! Im so excited for the next part, hope it will be just as good!
773805
That's not...I.....arghhhhhhh...
.....just........ nevermind...
774040 Death... speak to her?
774278 Meh, I don't care where you leave your comments
774769 Oh yes, my baby's dead. Well I can just make another, no emotional turmoil here, just baby making.
774844 Truth be told, so do I
774871
777743 Yes......Death would come to her in a physical form (in this case maybe a pony, does not matter which) his/her horn (if sh/he has one) shaped like a scythe and consumed by a black robe, Death would then tempt me as to why all these events in her life is leading to her death and will promised her in a emotionless tone that he will take her soul to the afterlife....we always see death when we die, Rainbow shouldbe no different.
778442
We always see death when we die? How much experience do you have in this? I would figure that you only get to find that out once and it kinda precludes telling anyone else about it.
778626 I was near death when I met the grim reaper (no joke) he told me that everything in life comes at a price and that he would come back for my soul at another time.....therefore all creatures who beathe life will one day have to face death weather they wish to or not, it has nothing to do with religion but the fact that Rainbow should have to face up to her own sins.
778704
I did figure that you would be going there in that, and obviously each near death experience is different and what you take away from it, nobody could argue. But I would say this, there's nothing saying we all meet death, some say they see a bright light, others see their own life, other's hear a soothing voice, me personally I just myself on the ground and then woke up in the hospital. Nothing saying that we all see death, take from your experience what you will.
778704
779040
The last time I was in a near death experience, I just saw myself, an older, more tired looking me, but still myself. I guess hearing all that stuff from myself made more sense that a creep in a robe or a bright light or something like that.
779040 True but either way you face something that is uncertain and not very normal.....wather it be an older version of yourself, or death itself, you still see an uncertain furture...and that scares you more then you will ever let on to others.781156 Don't tell me you can deny fear?
781304
It doesn't necessarily scare, not everyone is so afraid of the unknown nor of death. Assumptions, assumptions are rarely universal. Of course we see things through our own filters, but rarely do these hold true to everyone. Between various cultures, outlooks, and whatnot, these things do not apply universally.
781349 You make a valid point but you can't tell me you would not be scared shitless seeing a skelton (spelled that wrong) wearing a black robe and holding a brown wooden, sliver bladed scythe in its right hand now would you? (Or would it be hoof, paw, talon ect for the animals in this case?)
781349
781364
Funny, I thought he/she/it would have obsidian handle, not wood. Maybe that's just me, and I don't deny fear, I have fears, some may be irrational, but they are there. I just don't let it rule my life.
781411 Hmm......you know, you could be right. I was to busy knowing that MY SOUL was going to be sent to the afterlife to care and be judged for my sins...but that's another story for another time.
And I have to agree with you on that, allowing it to rule your life would harm no one but yourself, ya heard me? Anyway, I was just giving you a suggestion, but I really enjoyed the talk gentlecolts/mares.
Oh dear, now I'm tearing up. Bravo!
Now on to the next chapter, can my heart handle it?
Aww, not gonna lie, my hand flew up to my mouth at the last line
oh my GOSH. DASHIE DON'T YOU DARE JUMPDON'T YOU DARE DASHIE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY
...wait. In my old next gen Rainbow had a daughter named Sunny Skies... I swear I haven’t seen this story before!