After a 'spiritual kidnapping', I find myself in a land populated by small, sentient equines. Was I brought here for a reason or was it all just an accident? Accidents are the only theory I can really believe. 'Cause what good can a single person with an average life do to make a difference? That's what I have to find out.
This is me. The only human in Equestria.
[Equestria Girls is non-canon in this story and takes place after "The Crystalling".]
["25/05/2020" new cover art]
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Do you need an editor? I’m interested if you need one.
8634785
I do, actually. I've been looking for one for a while. Are you interested?
I could probably help with the editing too buddy!
8635151
Really? Thank you!
--The second comma is redundant
-- You're missing a word or two, depends on how you want it.
--
or
--
-- 1.Always listen occasionally doesn't really fit. It would work better with something like this: "I always listen to instrumental music on my nightly walks." or something like that.
--2.Instead of "as I sat", "and sat" goes better. It's not a grammar issue, but it helps the sentence sound smoother.
--When your story is in the first person present theme, one usually refers to ones body as 'I', and not 'it'.
-- As a location setting for the beginning of the section, this should be in the middle of the page.
--They way this is told seems rigid, like old-timey words, sometimes its better to use less to convey just as much. It makes for smoother and easier reading.
--She can't state it if it's a question. Also some expression should be added to make the characters, characters.
--You don't need hyphens there, and when using numbers like that, its best to use the word. It's not necessary, it just smooths it out, so to speak.
--You don't need to announce that Twilight is speaking in this paragraph, it was already determined that it was her speaking in the last paragraph.
-- Redundant comma.
--The ',however,' breaks the train of words and adds nothing to the paragraph.
-- Just need a , in the end there.
I hope this helps. I may have missed something, i have never done editing before. :P
8636202
Good to see someone who cares. Thanks a lot, mate! This really helped.
Grat job plz wright more
From
Minecrart24
Awesome
Awesome
I liked it,
Keep up the good work.
The Monk
8980204
Thanks. I will.
8920760
Weird name suggestion.
8982658
Who said anything about my name suggestion!?
O_O Don't Read It! Toss It In Lava!
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ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Good story 2x
would like to see more of this story seems really good man keep it up :D
9059911
Thanks. I intend to keep it going.
Good update
I can't wait to see how school goes.
The Monk
Awesome!
Whoa
oh no i feel a disturbance in the flow i predict the next chapter or story arc is going to be pinkie pie trying and failling to get zero to forgive her. i think i know why there is a drama tag here. we in for drama next chapter. plz don't be as cringy as "a friend in deed" that physically hurts me seeing a very obsessive pinkie
I really like this story. Its well done and rather unique. I like how you kept the adult memories but match the emotional age to his physical one. I haven't found very many HIE stories dealing with children. Of those very few stories, there are almost no good ones. This story is on my personal "Good Ones List" So keep up the good work.
Minor typo.......Missing word
<<<< If anyone knows any HIE ( age -egressed / child) stories that are any good, send me a private Mail. Assholes in Equestria stories don't apply >>
The Monk
Wow! Awesome!
Update please
9280612
Don't worry, it's still coming.
9282151
Ok i am curious ia the main character turn into pony or still human
9282184
Still human. He also went from an adult to a child.
92822
When her will change to be pony
9282239
No spoilers.
I love the art piece did u draw it or did a friend do it for you ?
Awesome!
9426787
I drew it. It's also on my DeviantArt page.
More please
if i was him i would have been worried if that was the last time i talked to my mom cuz if anything connecting him to his old world fades away or reconnects occasionally from time to time his phone still works off of his data plan and he has no way to pay it off depending on how much he has in his bank he cant pay for it for forever
You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there.
9533000
Hah. I get it. Skyrim reference.
It's spelled queasy.
9535943
Okay, thanks.
I got that reference
Ah his emotions are resetting
9536590
Hey, if you have issues with grammar, I suggest grammarly
9535943
that misspelling make me queasy
I was wondering what HiE meant. Now I, sorry, WE, know.
That is amazing. I can imagine the situation perfectly.
I'm not normally one to find humor in other suffering, but the previous statement is a complete fabrication.
I do typically find humor in other suffering. Than I try to share it with them. To make it feel a little better. It doesn't usually work.
Well, That is what I always think is going to happen in the last chapter of stories, but it never happens. I think Ian has stopped expecting it, but I'm not sure.
9463249
Or a more pressing problem, the fact that he can't keep it charged forever. And even if they do try and charge it with magic, there is a chance that they might mess up and end up frying it.
Sounds like me now. In 17. I have always preferred looking down or up to looking straight. I used to look down or up so much when I was younger when I looked straight, it felt like my eyes would fall out.
You do know how quotes work...right?
This is good. I hope to see more in the future