My Fair Little Spike (A very awful fic)

by DakariKingMykan

Growing Problems

ACT TWO

Fluttershy had taken Spike to her place, and had Angel hop on his sore back to straighten out and massage his strain. “Ohh… uhn… yeah…!” he sighed happily as he felt so relaxed, and soon his kink was all better. “Thanks a lot. I needed that.”

Angel and Fluttershy smiled, but Fluttershy was very concerned when Spike told her how he got that kink in his back trying to lift up that stone. “What were you trying to do?” she asked.

Spike, again, didn’t tell about him wanting to ask Rarity about Hearts and Hooves, but he did ask her “Fluttershy… um… well… if you’ve ever had a crush on someone, what would you do to show them how you feel?”

Fluttershy winced once, then twice, and felt her cheeks turn red. Of course she knew Spike was talking about himself and Rarity, but she had never been asked before if she ever had a crush and never felt more timid and nervous in her life. “Oh… well… I uh… I’ve never actually… had a crush before.” He voice got squeaky as she said “…I’d just get so nervous.”

Spike could tell he was only upsetting her and didn’t think he was going get any advice from her. “Never mind…” he said. He thanked her again for the massage and fixing his back and just had his claw on the door ready to leave. “Wait…!” Fluttershy suddenly said. He turned and gazed back at her, she hesitated a bit, and twiddled her hooves “I would… just be gentle, and… and maybe… as kind as I could be.”

Spike wasn’t sure if she was being totally honest due to her timidity, but he felt she had a point and smiled at her. “Thanks! That could work.” and then he left. Leaving Fluttershy still feeling very nervous and she really wondered what her life would be like if she had a crush. That’s when Angel came out and gave her a single flower of appreciation to her, which make her whimper nervously, and she ran off to hide, much to Angel’s dismay.

…

As Spike walked along, he practiced being soft and gentle; pitching his voice to low and soft, and pretending he was asking Rarity out on a date. “Would you be my special somepony? No, no… too simple.” He cleared his throat and tried again “Rarity… I was wonder… if maybe… you and I could…?” but then he realized he was starting to sound like Fluttershy when she was really nervous. He sighed thinking he’d never get this right, that’s when Rainbow Dash sped on by super-fast, making him jump. “Hey, Spike! Why so glum?” she asked.

Spike stuttered and stammered as he nervous rocked back and forth, twiddling his claw in the dirt, but Rainbow was able to put two and two together. “You want to ask Rarity to be your special somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day.”

Spike’s eyes bulged and his cheeks went red, but Rainbow snickered “Come on, it’s no big secret, Spike, but if you’re looking to please Rarity, there’s only one real way to do that…”

“What’s that?”

“This!” Rainbow shouted, and she took off high, and began to perform super stunts in midair, diving at the trees and kicking off at the last second. She even dove straight at the ground and pulled put just centimeters off the ground and stopped before him and shouted “Yeah!”

Spike had almost forgotten how to breathe and blinked his eyes twice. “Trust me, show someone how talented and cool you are, and you’ll win their attention and affection in all-out super-perfection!”

Spike actually thought that would help, and he often did picture himself as rather a cool guy putting the woo on the ladies, like wearing leather jacket, shades, his upper spikes slicked down. “Yo… you’re beautiful.” He would say, and the girls would faint.

“Okay, I’ll try it!” he said, and he and Rainbow slapped a high hoof and claw.

…

Before long, back at the library, Twilight was still having troubles about what to put on her card to Celestia. She had gone through every single book on poetry she could find, but nothing to give her any ideas. “Come on, Twilight… think!” she groaned “How do you express your admiration towards your beloved teacher?”

Suddenly, Spike came out from the other room, in a leather jacket, shades, and his head spikes slicked down. “Yo’ what’s shakin’?” he said.

Twilight turned and gawked at him “Uh… what’s all that for?” she asked.

“Twilight, baby, don’t sweat it. It’s all cool.”

Twilight felt confused “Baby…? Did you call me baby?”

Spike just clicked at her, and then headed for the door. “Catch ya’ on the flip side.” and he was gone leaving Twilight thinking that Spike’s new attitude was something to do with his problem with Rarity. She looked out the window and saw him climb onto a skateboard. “Since when does Spike know how to skate?” she wondered, and then suddenly she saw him line a board of wood over a rock forming a ramp to jump over three shrubs. “SPIKE!!” she cried and ran for the door as fast as she could.

Spike had already lined up his skateboard ready to make the jump, and dashed straight at it, but the skateboard crashed into the unleveled edge of the board flinging him clear off of it and up into the air over the bushes. “Oh, no…!” he cried as she braced for the big crashed when suddenly Twilight used her magic to levitate him to safety, but she did not look a bit please with his actions. “Spike, don’t you ever try that again!” she scolded “You could’ve broken your neck! What we’re you thinking?”

Spike felt really silly, almost to tears of shame and embarrassment, and he told her what Rainbow Dash had said about being cool and performing daring stunts to impress Rarity. Twilight began to feel that everypony was going absolutely insane. First: Rarity with her little stunt, and most of the male ponies buying it, and now this too?! “I keep telling you, Spike. You don’t have to do all this stuff. Just be yourself.”

Spike’s features hardened “And I keep making it clear… that’s not going to work.” he sneered. “I need to find someone else to ask for advice.” and he walked off leaving his cool clothes behind and Twilight feeling absolutely frustrated.

…

Meanwhile, the last of Rarity’s potential dates had presented her with their gifts. In a public announcement she thanked them all kindly. “And now, I will go through each of the marvelous gifts you have presented to Moi, and the one whom I deem the most wonderful shall have the honor of having me as their very special somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day.”

The males all down below cheered in joy, and Rarity took one last bow to the crowd before adjourning inside, running into the very beginning of a very big mess of gifts all piled up leading from her room all the way through her house, into her boutique, out the backdoor an stopping at the giant mound outside where sat before. Opal poked her head out from under a batch of flowers, gasping for air, and Rarity suddenly realized the first of her mistakes and said “This… may take a while!”

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[OmniFox]

Digging your own grave you know.