Chapter one: Harmony is Dead (Unedited and In need of an Editor)
Celestia's hooves clacked against the cracked and destroyed marble that was once her beautiful castle of Canterlot. Discords return caused this development with his destructive power and boiling hate directed towards her little ponies. His ungodly hatred came from his millennium of imprisonment, and his humiliation from being turned to a garden decoration. This anger lead to the death of many... including Twilight Sparkle, the holder of magic. It hurt Celestia to think of her fate, but like many times before, she must stay strong and lead her nation... well whats left of it.
Discord had disappeared to someplace and has been gone for the past few days, allowing the princesses to rest their heavy eyes and hearts. Celestia made her way to the destroyed remains over her room, where a aggravated Cadence and Luna were residing. Cadence has had it rough with the death of her two most beloved things, Twilight and her brother. Let's just say her anger is equal to if not greater then Discord's.
As the princess reached the door, she heard shouting coming from the other side. She sighed. She knew where this was going.
"Our forces can't breach Discords forests, we must go around!" Luna shouted.
"The pegisi can fly over the forest and attack from above while the earth and unicorn troops flank around the forest!" Cadence screamed out at her darker aunt.
"They will be separated and divided! Easy targets!" the moon princess retaliated.
"Enough!" Celestia shouted in her Canterlot Voice, silencing the bickering between the two family members. "We have been thinking of strategies day and night, let us rest our minds and clear our clouded minds." The solar pony walked up to the two grounded ponies and sat in front of them. "The fight has not yet been lost and we use all time given to us to argue and fight like foals." Celestia scolded.
"I apologize sister, but this is of great importance." Luna argued with a stern expression.
"While true, rest is also essential to making decisions, like where to send the rest of our united forces." Celestia counter argued. Luna opened and closed her mouth a few times before giving up with a snort.
The white Alicorn turned to Cadence, but to see her nieces eyes hold nothing but hate and anger, unlike the times when she would babysit Twilight where they were filled with hope and love. War and death can do things to a pony, male or female. "How do you fair Cadence?" Celestia asked with a fake smile.
"As fine as I can be." It was almost robotic and emotionless. The only emotion was hate that was only covered by it's hollowness. The solar princess frowned. It was saddening to see somepony so young and loving to fall into a pit of despair and hated, but who could blame her? She lost the most meaning full ponies in her life. A mare that was basically a younger sister who she had raised through out her teen years and her lover.
"That's good." Celestia said with a smile, trying to show she cared for her. Turning back to Luna, Celestia began to speak, "Sister, were you able to find that old book you have been looking for?" she said as she laid on her soft stomach.
"Yes," she said with a genuine grin," to think it was merely is my old closet. It's contents are rather useful as the script teaches of ancient offensive and defensive spells far out classing our modern ones."
Back to the topic of fighting. Celestia sighed and was about to try to bring their minds off the terror that discord unleashed, but a golden armored pony burst through the door, panting but had a look of pure joy spread across his face. "Princesses! The spell ... worked!" he said between breaths, his aqua eyes buzzing with excitement.
The Solar, Lunar, and (Heart?) eyes widened to their fullest potential. "It actually worked!? The chances were 1/1000 but it worked?" Celestia stared in stared into the guards eyes, each reflecting hope into one another. "Well, what are you waiting for, take us to it!?" the princesses shouted with a huge smile.
The stallions smile faltered slightly at that, but it quickly came back. "The target unfortunately landed in the middle of the Everfree forest, but we are now getting a carriage set up to bring you, your sister and niece to the estimated drop zone, ma'am." He finished with a solute before sprinting down the hall, his wings eagerly flapping as he flew down the hallway.
For the first time in months, Cadence has a smile on her face. Not a fake one, no, a real genuine smile. "Let's go aunty!" she said excitedly and charged after the stallion, Luna quickly follow suit. Celestia stood up and ran after them as well. This may seem like a non princess like thing to do, but she didn't care. Her little ponies have another chance to live and that's she could ask for.
Ichigo Kurosaki
The robe clad Soul Reaper slowly his eyes. His sight was blurred and his ears felt filled with cotton. Mere moments ago he was attending to a small scale hollow that had been causing havoc in his home town. After facing the Espada, Ichigo did not expect much from this small fry hollow, but what made is strange was the odd light that spewed out of it after it disintegrated. The orb of light was far from odd and out right just felt wrong, like it shouldn’t be there. Curiosity gripped Ichigo and he touched. The odd ball of light flashed and now here he was, laying on the ground with his ears stuffed ears and blurry eyes.
With a groan, the orange haired Shinigami pushed himself to his feet and stretched his limbs, earning satisfying pops. Now prepped to move, he took a quick glance at his surrounding and quickly became confused. The surrounding trees were ... Simple? They had hardly any texture and were very bare. The trees were simply just brown cylinders and the trees had defined leaf shapes that had no variation in color. The sky’s clouds were very odd. They looked sculpted and were unnatural.
Ichigo’s reflexes kicked in. He grabbed the hilt of Zangetsu and jumped backwards, dodging some odd looking wooden wolf. “What the hell?” Kurosaki muttered as the wolf turned to face it’s “prey”.
The Soul Reaper lightly squeezed Zangetsu's hilt, causing its white wrapping to fall from the over sized blade. With his right hand, he swung it out to his side, rustling the trees leaves. A frown plastered itself on Ichigo’s face. “Look, wooden wolf ... Thing?” Ichigo shook his head, “Get out of here before I have to make you.” His eyes narrowed at the wolf as he said this.
The wolf growled at the orange headed fighter, only to be echoed by dozens of other wolves hidden in the brush around the two combatants.
The wolf jumped towards Kurosaki with its teeth and terrible breath targeted at Ichigo. Its attempt was in vain, however as it was quickly dispatched by a swing of Zangetsu. The broken bits of the wolf fell to the ground.
“Anyone else?” Ichigo said with a small smirk. Several wolves sprang at the Soul Reaper, but as if the creatures weren’t moving at all, Ichigo danced around there air born bodies, slashing at their mid sections. The wolves’ momentum carried the diced logs until the hit the ground, creating a large pile of lumber.
The horde of wolves kept flowing out of the thickets, but much like their fallen comrades were easily defeated by the orange haired Shinigami.
Kurosaki perched his massive cleaver on his shoulder, silently looking for anymore of the annoying wolves. In all honesty, these wolves were interesting to Ichigo. Their spiritual pressure was very odd, but wild. It was like they were always on coffee, but the strange creatures used numbers and basic planning to their advantage. It’s strange.
Suddenly, all the branches and twigs of the wolves remains began to swirl into a tornado and combine. In the center of the raging wind, a green orb began to slowly grow with its rising spiritual pressure. A wolf’s torso began to shape, which was quickly followed by a head and four legs.
The large wooden wolf fell to the ground, shaking the earth as it landed.
“Oh, come on!”
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No, no, no, no. Kurosaki Ichigo is the epitome of a Gary Stu. And now that he's been inserted into Equestria to save them from something only he can deal with, he's a rare and terrible DOUBLE STU. Stu Doble. Gran Rey Stu.
Why is discord evil again? I'm confused.
7296089 This kind of a alternate time kind of thing. Which means i forgot the alternate universe thing... damn it. Anyways, this goes back to when he was first released after 1000 years of being stone. In this universe, he is pissed about it and is a out for sweet pony blood. bit OOC, but o'well.
7296074
Well, opinions are opinions, but this can not be helped as the story is revolved around Ichigo. Anyways, thanks for the comment, have a nice evening, or what ever time you read this.
7296074
You DO know what the definition of a "Gary Stu" is correct?
I honestly just hope you're trolling, because if not...Well, need I remind you that you can google any word in the dictionary, in a few taps of a keyboard?
Power alone does not make people "Sues/Stus", otherwise Zaraki Kenpachi, Zaraki Kenpachi, would be considered a Gary Stu.
7296189
I do indeed. Granted, Zaraki Kenpachi is not a main character. He is also simply one thing, which he is very good at. Instead of being everything a series has available to be and being very good at all of it.
Ichigo is a Shinigami of indescribable power (outclassed only by the Captain Commander). Ichigo is a Hollow/Vaizard (potentially Vasto Lorde, the strongest of all Hollows). Ichigo is a Quincy (who are currently raping everyone else and only Ichigo is capable of fighting their leader apparently). Ichigo is a Fullbringer (sadly it was not filler, even though he currently seems to lack access to those powers). The prophesied savior and all, etc.
When we speak of writing tropes and archetypes like this, there's more to go on than the solid definition - which I hope you are able to understand. After all, there's nothing in the definition that says "Red and black alicorn = Stu/Sue" and yet that is one of the key aspects associated with the archetype here in this community. I lay the blame at Tite Kubo's feet, not this person here whom I have jokingly ribbed.
7296135
Your writing's fine. Could use cleaning up but you already knew that. Keep at it. I hope you'll move on to works featuring less terrible characters, or perhaps purely in-continuity stories.
7296235
There's not much more to "Mary Sue/Gary Stu" other than "Perfect, edgy character", for in the most solid understanding, that is what defines one.
Ichigo is a mix of basically all the races...but it's not like he didn't have to fight to have the power he has, heck that's what we have basically one-fourth of the manga for.
another thing is, that you have to look at this with the lens of, "Shounen, action". More often than not, the MC of most Shounen pretty much become the end all, be all, otherwise why would there be conflict near any point of the story's run if there were already enough good guys that could handle it.
To add onto that, most mangas/anime end up with the Mc usually being the strongest. That is to say, they're usually the most notable by the end of it all. It is a story about the MC afterall. Few deviate from this. EX: FMA, FMA:brotherhood, Fairy Tail, Nanatsu no Taizai, Fate/Stay night, Naruto, One piece (assumably), Digimon, etc, etc. This ISN'T new.
Ichigo's thing is, that he's a mutt by the very definition of the word. He just uses it to the very best of it's traits, unknowingly most of the time. As for the Quincy thing, we'll have to wait and see what happens next chapter once his bankai is revealed.
Back on topic, people in this fandom associate Black/red colored OCs, with Mary-Sues, because that's the best example of the trope in this medium. That's more trends lending to assumption than anything else.
Ichigo's a punk, he's above average smart, but still a hot-head. He honestly doesn't think his usual fights through, and gets into fights normally at the beginning of the manga.
He's a complicated character, but definitely not a Mary-sue.
But that's where we disagree, so I'm not gonna push that.
Before you hand this to an editor you need to learn to spell the words you are using on your own. Basic research is the author's duty.
I'll give you one freebie. It's Zangetsu.
Also, stop changing between using his given and family name several times each paragraph. Stick to one or the other. The only time it should change is if a character who prefers to use one or the other is speaking.
I can't believe you killed off Sparklebutt in the backstory! And implied Shiny bit it, too! You going for a G. R. R. Martin body count here?
7296822 Thanks for pointing out the miss spells concerning Ichigo related things , i am terrible at them and for some reason my google searcher doesn't like anime names
. Also, for the name changing thing, i typically do this to give variation. I find it annoying when a writer says Joe did this. Joe did that. Joe is in the process of doing it. Joe is here. I just find it a bit frustrating, but i will look back and see if i can fix any mistakes or names dilemmas i see. Thanks for the advice 
7296822 But anyways, how do find the context and story so far? Is the pacing good? Does it need to slow down, speed up? How is the background of the story?
This is Good keep it up, and believe in your self.
Have a good day/night
~EMBER SPIRIT SHIELD
Ichigo versus discord huh? This is gonna be real good fight! Can't wait!
Dude come on post the second chapter already will ya I'm getting impatient.