John Kasich
John Kasich refrained from making a campaign tour in Equestria, instead focusing on increasing his lead in his home state of Ohio. So it was quite a surprise to him that his poll numbers suddenly started creeping up.
It was only after two day of this statistical anomaly that his campaign manager realized what had happened, and hurriedly cobbled together a quick trip to at least make sure that the Equestrians knew he was still in the running.
His visit was a resounding success. The ponies had already forgotten about his rivals, and they eagerly waved campaign signs as he spoke to them.
He visited the Crystal Empire, Canterlot, and even Ponyville, where he had a private meeting with Princess Twilight Sparkle. Everything was going perfectly well until he mistook the mirror portal for the entrance to the bathroom. As soon as he stepped through, he realized that he had made a terrible, terrible mistake, but by then it was too late. He'd taken the book which powered the portal as some light reading material, and he was stuck in Equestria Girls for thirty moons or until the plot required that the portal be opened again.
Then Derpy accidentally portalized him, just for the sake of consistency.
Boo the only decent candidate got screwed over!
He didn't die horribly, Biscuit your bias is showing.
Hm...Still upset over the Cruz death. Not so much over the others. I might have been upset over Kasich had it not been for the fact he is still in the running and trying to get Ted to drop out and showing more of his true colors.
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7087568
He got sent to Equestria Girls, then portalized. How is that better than dying of a cuteness-induced heart attack?
7088178
If nothing else, I'll give Kasich credit for tenacity.
7088295
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My last three April Fools stories involved Derpy with a portal gun.
7088178 What are your thoughts on Ted Cruz's tax plan?
What do you mean by 'portalized'?
If I am reading this right (I'm probably not) then Derpy murdered him and then built a portal using his corpse?
Metal.
7089774
She used her portal gun to send him off to the Enrichment Center.
7089825
If she wanted to murder him, she'd use her Barrett.
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7086503
The real joy of this statement is that it can still be true whichever candidate you like
xD
What's the matter with her eyes?
7205276
Yeah, man. That's just creepy.