Bernie Sanders
Feel the Bern signs had been popping up all over Equestria. Mostly in front of dragon lairs. But his campaign manager didn't tell him that, just that the signs were incredibly popular.
Early research had indicated that Bernie's message would go over well in Equestria, so it was with some confidence that he drove his '72 VW Westfalia Bus along the bumpy dirt roads towards Ponyville.
As he got close, he noticed pegasi flying down to get a close look at his van, and then zipping off along the road, no doubt to send word that he was coming.
When he finally drove across the bridge into town, scraping a bit of paint off his van in the process, there was a whole mass of ponies gathered to see him. They were lining either side of the road, waving signs with his name on them, and a few of them were even sporting bumper stickers on their rumps. One enterprising Earth Pony had painted his coat to look like an American flag, and two of his friends were trying unsuccessfully to wave him in the air.
Bernie screeched to a stop in the very center of the crowd and jumped out of the van.
Ponies thronged around him, and he tried his best to keep up with handshakes. He didn't need to deliver a message; he was the first candidate to arrive. It had been worth skipping Nebraska for this.
His first shock came when he discovered that the ponies didn't want handshakes; they wanted hugs. Mayor Mare went first, wrapping him in a semi-sincere politician's hug. She was followed by Princess Twilight Sparkle, and then the rest of the Element Bearers.
Bernie barely made it to the end of that line. When he saw Fluttershy peeking at him curiously around her adorable mane, he clutched at his chest but gamely wrapped her in a hug. He had a moment to recover when Zecora gave him a stoic nuzzle on the cheek, then he turned back just in time to see Sweetie Belle stand on her hind hooves and hold her forelegs up.
It was too much concentrated cuteness for his heart to take.
Resuscitation was entirely unsuccessful. Nurse Redheart knew CPR, and briefly revived him, but when he opened his eyes and saw the lock of pink hair which had come loose from her bun and hung over her blue eyes, he had another cuteness-induced heart attack, and that one finished him.
It was a great disappointment to the whole town, but they all got together and did what Ponyvillians do best: pretend like it never happened, and go on with their lives.
Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Damn.
well i can't think of a better way to go than cuteness overload lol
But which pony got his VW bus?
7086622
The CMC. Who else would?
7086602
I hope that's how I die. I hope it is exactly like this.
pre04.deviantart.net/85f8/th/pre/i/2013/011/0/a/the_sweetie_belle_problem_by_doublewbrothers-d5r6ok9.jpg
7086631
Next words out of Scootaloo's mouth: "You know where we can find a cannon at this hour?"
There is only one reason that I don't want to die from cuteness-induced heart attack:
It would make ponies sad.
I now will forever love you. Not for making ponies sad, but for killing Bernie. God damn Bernie...
That is what Ponyville is best at.
YES! You killed Bernie!
Biscuit... I giggled. Well done.
That was simply amazing. Accidental death + cuteness + acquired social insulation. Glorious.
Welp. I guess I shouldn't have expected anything else from the old fart.
Political fanfiction plus ponies equals heart attacks. That's a no brainer.
Politics + Ponies = "Death"
~Leonzilla
7086794
Yeah, it probably would. And then if you became a ghost, you'd get to see the ponies have a funeral for you, which would so damn cute your ghost would die, too.
7087554
It really is. There's something tragically noble about it.
7086994
7088125
That was merely the beginning. . . .
7088151
I just have this great image of him driving a crappy old VW van. I bet he owned one once.
7088147
7088193
Cute, fluffy, adorable death.
Well, it's easy to see who doesn't like Bernie in the comments section...
Bernie, nooooo!
Well, still, this looks like some fun, politically-themed silliness.
7088432
I'm pleasantly surprised this didn't turn into a political flamewar, to be honest.
7089137
There are worse ways to go.
Yes, an old, idealistic man with no teeth and an unimaginably naive view of Republican senate, in a country of autocratic dictatorship.
A recipe for libertarianism.
Well that was unfortunate... Who else are you gonna kill off?
Are we gonna get Celestia for president? Or, Celestia as president. By default. Because all the presidential candidates are dead.
10/10 would chuckle at creepy old men dying again.
Good bye you liberalist scum.
Well... It was either that or age and frankly the latter is better than the prior.
This line was gold. Gold, I say!
Wow, so many lefties on here down voting anyone against Bernie. Then again, mlp isn't a place for right leaning folks anyway.
I hate Bern, but what a story. xD
I love random bullshit like this.
Sounds like Bernie had a heart-awwwtack
Oh god...