Ponyville’s Tiny Librarian
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Chapter 4
Applebuck Season
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part 3
Twilight was unsure how long she had been running from one place to another while helping and testing her theories wherever she could. Her first trip was from her treehouse to Sugarcube Corner, only to find out about the poisonous cupcakes that caused an epidemic.
Going out of her way, Twilight galloped towards the hospital where she spent most of the day healing ponies despite draining her magical reserves completely, due to her significant size disadvantage. Afterwards, she ran to Fluttershy’s cottage, which was on the other side of Ponyville.
After giving Angel a ride while chasing some bunnies, the poor mare’s next destination was Sweet Apple Acres, yet another marathon for her to endure.
***
Overwatch wiped the sweat from her forehead.
She was perched precariously on a nearby tree branch, having closely observed the exchange between Fluttershy and Twilight. The contents of said discussion were… interesting, to say the least. It wasn’t quite important enough to confront the shy pegasus over, but certainly enough to warrant keeping a close eye on her.
She slumped forward, letting out a long groan as she watched the two ponies depart. Following Twilight had already been difficult back in Canterlot. Even though her charge took nine steps for every step she took, keeping up with such a dedicated athlete usually ended up with Overwatch collapsing into her bunk every night.
Sniper and stealth training were great for endurance and patience, but staying on watch for so long provided little time to adequately stay in shape. Even Steelie was starting to wane from his post-training prime, though he should have plenty of time on his hooves to start exercising again now that he moved to Ponyville.
The newfound earth pony magic Twilight had acquired was starting to become very problematic, slowly bolstering Twilight’s stamina to the point where keeping up with her was a nightmare.
The guard mare narrowed her eyes at the descending sun through the tree cover. It was only a couple weeks after the Summer Sun Celebration, which meant that the days were still among the longest of the year. Combined with the armor she wore and her dark, charcoal coat, Overwatch felt completely drained from the day’s exercise under the oppressive climate.
At times like this, I’m grateful she doesn’t use teleportation to move around, Overwatch thought as her legs hung down motionlessly, looking towards where Twilight was trotting. Wait a moment, wasn’t she going to Sweet Apple Acres?
She raised her head and levitated the branches to the side to take a better look. “That’s not where Sweet Apple Acres is…” she murmured to herself.
Overwatch’s head slumped down again. Doesn’t look like she knows about the shortcuts between Fluttershy’s cottage and the Acres. Probably just the hills and trees blocking most of her vision, she thought. The barn itself was perfectly visible from her current position if she pushed a couple of the branches out of the way.
It doesn’t look like she’s gotten too far. I could probably catch up. She let out a sigh before tilting to the side, letting go of the branch and falling straight to the ground. The guard mare let out a yelp as her legs nearly crumpled beneath her, though she managed to stay upright, wobbling slightly.
The guard mare scowled. “C’mon, I can do this,” she mumbled. “Surely, she’ll take a break at some point.”
She paused. “Eventually.”
***
Dusk had fallen after nearly an hour of galloping as the little unicorn climbed hills that were like mountains and passed trees that stood proudly like giant towers. Not daring to slow down as her tiny legs would hardly make any significant distance otherwise. Against her best efforts, she was forced to take at least two breaks, realizing that she was lost as her shortcut greatly expanded her traveling time.
Finally, Twilight arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, trembling from physical exertion as she wiped sweat from her face. Taking a deep breath of fresh air, she began to trot at a more relaxed pace, admiring the peaceful scenery of the jungle known as Sweet Apple Acres. The sun still peaked out from behind two humongous hills, the red sky proving a wonderful background for the walls of apple trees.
Her mind somewhat refreshed, she began to focus, her horn aglow in a dim lavender light. A smile quickly spread across unicorn’s face; even though she wasn’t at her full potential, her magic reserves had at least slightly recovered despite her aching body.
Soon, Applejack’s home came into view; the red house seemed to be made of bronze under the crisp sunlight. The building was a strange blend of a very tall barn with a smaller wooden house. Several of the building’s windows reflected sunlight into the flower pots stationed on their windowsills.
After looking up into the glare of the sun, Twilight focused on some sort of tower with an apple-themed weathervane on top. She noted that the home had a second floor, presumably filled with bedrooms while the ground floor was likely reserved for chores. As she approached the front door, she passed an archway similar to its larger cousin at the main entrance, though with far fewer decorations.
She took a nervous look to her left at the two massive haystacks, nearly twice the size of a normal pony, before focusing her attention on the door, her determination growing and an end goal set in her mind. She was going to prevent Applejack from damaging Ponyville any further and stop her from ending up in a hospital, and she wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
Twilight bent her legs as she prepared to jump-kick the door, only for a sharp pain in her ankle to remind her that it was not the wisest idea. Breathing a deep sigh as her hopes for a new door-opening record were crushed, she levitated a pitchfork she found lying next to the haystack, feeling too tired to challenge herself physically as she thumped the implement against the barrier.
“Ah’m comin’.”
Satisfied with the strong answer from the other side of the door, Twilight sat back and waited patiently, massaging her sore legs. A few seconds later the door opened to reveal the gigantic hooves of Big Macintosh. She drew her gaze higher, passing his massive legs and chest to his face, which was scanning the yard in search of the pony who knocked.
With a roll of her eyes, Twilight sighed and levitated the pitchfork before him, before placing it on the ground moments after Big Macintosh looked down at her.
"Hello Twiligh’, what brings you here so late?” Big Macintosh asked firmly with a raised eyebrow. Surely she wasn’t studying earth pony magic at such a late hour.
Twilight buckled her legs and jumped onto Big Mac’s foreleg, feeling too tired to jump directly onto the muzzle of the tallest stallion in Ponyville. After several seconds of climbing, she managed to pass his massive neck and was soon hanging onto his nose looking at his eyes. It was an odd place to communicate from, but no amount of pain or exhaustion was going to prevent her from continuing to climb onto other ponies’ muzzles.
“Hey, Big Mac. I’m here to check on Applejack,” she said, and the stallion pointed his hoof behind her towards a tree-covered hill, “Let me guess, she’s working?”
“Eeyup.”
Twilight frowned. “Has she at least taken a break?”
At Big Mac’s solemn shake of his head, Twilight brought a hoof to her forehead. “Figures she would still be working without a break!” The tiny mare could see Big Macintosh’s confusion, so she continued, “Your sister is exhausting herself to her limits and refuses to sleep. Just today she sent Rainbow Dash crashing into my library,” Big Mac sat and listened with growing curiosity, “practically poisoned plenty of ponies and terrorised Ponyville with a bunch of baby bunnies.”
The proud stallion closed his eyes for a moment before opening them as he looked at her with determination, “Ah'll go talk to her.”
Twilight nodded. “That sure would help. Still, why’s she working so hard?”
With a quick jerk of his head, Big Mac threw Twilight, to her great surprise, from his nose, over his head and onto his back. The moment Twilight landed, she noticed the bandage wrapped tightly around his stomach.
“You had an accident, I had no idea...”
Big Mac walked towards the open field, determination on his face hiding any sign of pain he felt, his stomps firm and strong, only for his legs to suddenly refuse to lift, anchored against the ground by some sort of force. With little more effort, he raised one of his forelegs and looked at it, only to see a light purple aura shackling his hoof.
“Why’re ya stoppin’ me?”
“You need medical assistance! We can talk with Applejack, but not by endangering your own health,” Twilight said with a mix of determination and concern as she sent more magic into her horn. She jumped onto the ground, gritting her teeth and levitating the stallion above her head. Her legs flexed from the heavy pressure that now pressed her against the ground, adding least fourteen times her own weight.
The aching in Twilight’s muscles returned in full force the moment she raised her foreleg, taking step after step towards the house, but she didn’t care as the brother of her friend was hurt and she was determined to ease his pain while ignoring her own, preventing any yelps from leaving her sealed lips.
Big Mac just rolled his eyes before closing them as he let Twilight levitate him until the struggling mare finally reached the first bed she could find. After being carefully placed on it, he could see the poor unicorn breathing heavily as her horn cooled down, all the while covered in sweat. If he had learned anything about the little mare, it was that Twilight's stubbornness surpassed even Applejack’s whenever she wanted to help somepony. The best course of action was just to play along.
After a few seconds to regain her balance as her rapidly beating heart slowed down, Twilight looked upward at the red giant. The effort she just pulled, the pressure that weighed on her with every step, it seemed so familiar as she didn’t feel like this ever since she escorted her sleepy mentor after days of dealing with so called ‘Giant Worms Incident.’
A few colonies of giant hungry worms, some even with tentacles shooting from their mouths migrated to Fillydelphia in search for their stolen eggs, causing earthquakes while hunting for fresh meat. The princess had to use a great amount of her power while supporting her army to deal with them. Not to mention a few sleepless night where she assisted in relocating the invaders from the city, pushing herself nearly as hard as her student.
Twilight made a mental note to ask her mentor where she sealed the ones she didn’t trap in the canyon the princess named ‘Ghastly Gorge’ before shaking her head, once again focusing on the wounded stallion.
With a quick jump, she landed on the bed and approached Mac’s wounded belly, only to pull the bandage in attempt to unroll it.
“What are ya doin’? Ah need those bandages.”
Twilight anchored her rear hooves against the undamaged part of Mac’s stomach while pulling the bandage with all of her strength, only to switch to her levitation before she looked at the stallion and spoke, “Don’t worry, I’m very experienced with healing magic and magical surgery, I think I will be able to help.” Her forehoof stroke the bandaged belly gently.
Big Mac nodded. “Ah think Ah can trust ya.”
Once the bandages were finally unrolled, Twilight’s face turned green as she felt sudden urge to puke at the sight of an open wound. Even her job as the Wonderbolt medic hardly prepared her to look at an injury of that size. Whatever struck the proud giant had to be very powerful if it managed to penetrate his muscular, filled with magic body.
Despite the very unpleasant view in front of her, Twilight lit her horn and rushed to work, fixing the damage with surgical precision, guiding her magic to repair Big Mac’s flesh and insides, one little fragment at a time.
To Twilight’s disadvantage, healing a wound of that size without her magic reserves even halfway restored, proved to be a problem. To make matters worse, while the studious unicorn knew pegasus’ anatomy upside down, her knowledge of earth pony’s anatomy was lacking, which in turn made the task of fully healing Big Mac impossible.
An hour of healing later, Twilight’s horn was once again red hot, while all of her reserves were spent, and a headache was assaulting her with even more force than back at the hospital. She quickly put her hooves on both sides of her head and grit her teeth, her mind exhausted and unable to focus as she looked at Big Macintosh’s wound, which was only half-healed despite her best efforts. With sigh of defeat, she puffed on her horn and walked towards the giant, looking him in the eyes apologetically.
“I’m sorry.” Twilight lowered her head in shame while her ears drooped. “Your wounds are too serious. I’ll need at least half a day to recover my magic to finish the healing process, I’m truly sorry for wasting your time.”
Suddenly, Twilight could see Big Mac’s humongous hoof under her neck, raising her head gently. “Ah’m thankful for ya tryin’, Miss Twilight. Ya did yer best to help and Ah appreciate it,” he said as she watched the giant rise from his bed. “Ah may not be healed, but Ah feel much better.”
Twilight stood up and pointed at the unrolled bandages. “Are there any new bandages we can patch you up with, Big Mac? These ones are a bit worn out.”
“Eeyap.” He nodded.
Not wasting a moment, the little unicorn jumped onto Big Mac’s back as he walked towards his room until he reached a table where unused bandages were displayed. Unable to use her magic as her head threatened to explode, Twilight just jumped on Big Mac’s head, only to bounce off towards the table. With a swift move of her hoof, she placed the edge of the bandage between her teeth and turned back to the stallion who looked at her with a raised eyebrow, only to expose his side to her.
Twilight smiled before jumping over Mac’s back, landing on the floor with a weak thump. Wasting no time, she turned around and hopped, anchoring her forelegs against the bandage that was straightened from between the table and Big Mac’s belly, only to climb onto undamaged part of stallion's stomach before jumping onto the floor as she repeated the process over and over. Her years of training and dodging yielded results as she somehow managed to roll it around Mac’s wounded belly while using nothing but her tiny hooves and acrobatic skills, receiving chuckles and an impressed smile from her stoic patient.
“Ah must say, yer doin’ really well without yer magic, Miss Twilight. Ah don’ know how to thank ya for yer help.” Big Mac gave Twilight a thankful glance while she returned it with a smile, hiding a blush behind her foreleg.
“Think nothing of it. I like helping, and the brother of my friend is my friend too as Pinkie would say,” Twilight said and giggled as Big Macintosh walked towards the exit with goal to lecture Applejack, his wounds no longer as severe and painful as they were before. Not wanting to be left behind, Twilight trotted next to the muscular giant, not intimidated by his long and heavy legs in the least, even when one stomped in front of her while blocking her path.
“Ah’ll take ya to Applejack. Please, take a rest.”
“But.”
“Ah insist.”
Twilight nodded as she climbed on Big Mac’s foreleg before she was deposited on his back, and before she knew it, her tired mind and days without sleep got the best of her. Her heavy eyes closing blissfully as her consciousness escaped into the land of dreams.
Overwatch could do little else but stare in disbelief.
“Even when she’s taking a break, she’s on the move,” she groused, heaving out an exasperated sigh before trundling on after Big Mac and Twilight. “When I get back to the library, I’m going to turn this breastplate into a pretzel.”
***
“Ah am not goin’ to take help from any pony!” Applejack shouted in a random direction as she could hardly see where her brother was standing, dizziness overtaking her.
“Yer goin’ to accept help. Ah won’ take no for an answer.”
“Ah’m not!”
“Ya caused a lot of trouble for pony folks; if ya won’ let anypony help, Ah will buck those trees for ya.”
“Yer wounded, Ah’m not lettin ya kick nothin’.”
“Yer friend’s magic helped me lots, Ah feel better.”
“Mah friend?” Applejack asked in confusion as Big Mac lowered his head carefully and pointed his forehoof at the tiny passenger that was sleeping deeply, perched in his orange mane as he decided that it would be a much more comfortable location than his back.
The little mare as always when in deep sleep was curled into a ball with hind legs and tail serving as a pillow for her head. After a closer look one would see a pile of hair between her forelegs, and did it served as eiderdown or some sort of doll for her to hug was hard to tell. Applejack took a close look with half-closed eyes, her vision still blurred as she wondered why her brother dyed the top of his mane in purple.
“Twiligh’ healed me and now she’s havin’ a deserved rest on mah head,” Big Macintosh said with a hint of pride.
“What?” Applejack shook her head and massaged her ears as she couldn't understand a single word.
“Ah said…!” Big Mac said louder, but a sudden movement on his head attracted his attention as he noticed a tiny head lean out from behind his mane.
“Hello Applejack… oh no, you look terrible!” Twilight said in panic as she slid from Big Mac’s muzzle and ran towards her friend who was now kicking a dead tree. “Applejack, stop it.” Her plea was obviously ignored as the farm mare raised her forehoof, forcing Twilight to jump to the side before it could slam her into dirt. With a sigh of relief, she wiped sweat from her head and looked back at her friend, only to flinch at the shaky movements of Applejack, who was walking as if she had drunk a gallon of hard cider. “Applejack!” Twilight yelled as the farm mare looked around, blinking rapidly.
“Who's there?”
“It is me, Twilight. I’m here to help!” she shouted, standing on her rear hooves.
Applejack rubbed her ear before walking towards another tree, her movements even shakier than before as she walked down the little hill, tripping over and rolling on the ground. Her hat fell from her head.
Twilight followed, catching up with the farm mare who was now lying upside down against an apple tree. She asked, “Need a hoof?”
Applejack blinked her bloodshot eyes before rolling to the side, her forelegs shaking as she struggled to stand. Acting as if she didn’t see or hear her little friend.
“Please, let us help,” Big Mac said as he approached with slow steps.
“Help… help… Ah don’t need no help.”
“But ya’re hurtin’ yerself. This is another sleepless night that you’ve spent workin’ on the farm.” The stallion plead, “Please, let us help like yer friends helped weeks ago.“
Twilight’s ears drooped as she felt deja-vu for some reasons.
“Ah have mah pride! Ya said Ah cannot do it on mah own, well, Ah will manage! Ah will prove to ya and everypony that Ah can gather all the apples on mah own,” Applejack responded with a tired but determined voice, though talking to a tree rather than her brother.
"Yer really worryin’ me sis.”
Twilight raised forehoof up to her mouth as a memory flashed in her mind.
“The blessing Nightmare Moon honored me with can only be researched at night.” Spike groaned.
“Besides, the moon keeps me awake and stronger than ever. I can manage!” Twilight said in determination as yet another drop of sweat fell onto her muzzle.
“But this is your tenth sleepless night, Twilight! The more you research it, the more tired you’ll be the next day!” Spike said with a concerned look, but Twilight just ignored him as she poured more magic into her horn. “You’re really worrying me!”
A one-ton load in the appearance of a few bookshelves, levitated in mid air.
Twilight lowered her head in shame and rubbed her foreleg. How could I be so insensitive to Spike’s, Steel Blade’s, and Overwatch’s feelings? she thought, now seeing Applejack being her mirror reflection. After releasing a deep sigh, she raised her looked between both Apples. It seems even her brother can’t convince Applejack to change her mind, not when she’s in such condition.
She rubbed her chin, now glancing at the towering trees. Helping with labor would take too long, not to mention that trees wouldn’t grow apples back for a while if I levitated the apples with my magic, but I must do something to cut down Applejack’s work.
Twilight smiled and stomped as realization struck her. That’s it. Applejack must be on the verge of complete exhaustion. Maybe I can put her into sleep with my magic. It will help her recover and buy us more time. With plan in her mind, she lit her horn with magic and jumped towards her friend’s muzzle, whose hind legs were raised above the ground as Applejack was struggling with her aim.
“Whaaa!” Applejack yelped in surprise and started shaking her muzzle, throwing Twilight over her head.
The little unicorn bounced on her back before speeding towards the tree, only to feel cold hoof strike against her back, inflicting an incredible amount of pain, breaking her bones. Big Mac gasped and ran to her aid, though being too far away to stop his sister from what she was about to do.
A second and third strike quickly followed, pressing against her back as Twilight was literally embedded into the tree, with her own body pinned against the wooden surface. Next two strikes missed the target thanks to Overwatch’s levitation as all the apples fell from the tow alongside several branches from repetitive strikes.
Upon noticing Twilight’s guard running to her aid, Big Mac glared at his sister and narrowed his eyes. His steps now slow but firm as his hooves sank into the ground. While he knew that it was yet another of many accidents, it was one too many.
“Stupid vermins and bugs, infestin’ mah trees and apples. That’ll teach’em,” Applejack said in annoyance as she started to walk towards the next tree. While she didn’t have enough time to kick the annoying bug with full strength, not to mention being weakened after days of hard work, a few quick strikes were enough to make sure it wouldn’t cause more trouble to her farm.
Her walk was interrupted as her muzzle to press against Big Mac’s chest who blocked her way.
“Applejack!”
The farm mare took a step back and shook her head, ignoring the enraged glare of her brother.
“Applejack!” Big Mac stomped with great force, causing a weak quake under his sister’s hooves.
“Ah’em workin’, time’s apples,” she said as she walked shaky, struggling to round her brother who stepped to the side and once again blocked her way.
“Applejack, look behind ya!” he said as his patience started to running out. Upon seeing how not even words can reach his sister anymore, he raised his foreleg and slapped her.
“What in the haystack was tha’ for?” Applejack asked as her tired mind failed to process what was happening around her.
“Look for yerself!” Big Mac shouted into her ear with hostility as he pointed towards the unicorn shaped hole in the tree. Overwatch had already removed the little mare from the surface and placed her face-up on the ground, using her magic to keep Twilight’s head and neck as rigid as possible as she carefully felt for a pulse. "She did all she could to help, yet ya hurt her because of your buckin' stubbornness. Applejack, ya crossed a line ya can't uncross."
Applejack rubbed her sleepy eyes to get a better look as her brain finally sent her a late but clear ‘you just crushed your friend with a solid kick, you buckhead’ message. The moment her vision cleared and brain finally woke up, Applejack felt shivering in her bones as she ran towards the tree.
“Twilight!”
The charcoal guard mare shot Applejack a withering glare through watery eyes as she stood protectively over her charge, who laid on the ground like a lifeless doll. With little ceremony, she charged up a spell on her horn and shot a shining blue flare into the sky, watching it hit its peak before turning her cold gaze back to the farm mare.
Applejack’s heart started to beat faster as she placed her trembling hooves on both sides of her head and screamed, “W-what have Ah done?!”
owwww fuck you applejakck *shoots an shootgun bean bag at her*
OH MY CELESTIA! APPLEJACK KILLED TWINY!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand dark tag
7156091
Twilight has been through worse.
She's used to being crushed and Applejack was exausted, so I would have more faith in Twilight's survibility.
A tad overdramatic in your wording perhaps, but the events themselves are believable.
7156037 7156091 *groans*Guys, calm down and read the Author's Note at the bottom of this chapter, okay?
And I rather doubt that AJ had killed Twilight. (Be a pretty short story if she had.)
I think she just knocked her unconscious with that kick.
And I just have a feeling that AJ's conscious is gonna punish her worse than anything that Celestia or anyone else could dish out over this.
So just chill, okay?
Aj must die
I hope Twiny will be alright.
The prideful mare will feel more shame than ever.
Causing a bunny rumble in town and Rainbow's crash on the library, poisoning half the town with messed recipe, and finally hurting badly another mare... that is starting to be a big charge.
It's weird and expected if Twiny survives because of that.
No really.
7156166 I realize that Twiny isn't dead, I was just making a South Park reference to Kenny's death in hopes that someone would post "YOU BASTARDS!" in response to my comment.
Ah, yes, the ones that Rainbow Dash loves to troll.
The art looks like a purple ribbon's sticking out of her butthole.
7156091
7156368
YOU BASTARDS!
7156157
With my top editor focusing on Overwatch/Steel Blade scenes, there's a risk of wording issues. If you find a scene where I overdid with drama or have idea how to improve it, I am open for suggestions.
7156166 7156212
Eeyup.
Even AJ's pride will crumble under the guilt. In the show she was ignoring consequences of her actions until the very end, however here it isn't the case.
7156208
I disagree.
7156402
Pretty much.
7156508
Whatever do you mean?
Also, while I understand that AJ's scene is a big deal, I didn't expect it would grab all the attention. No one seems to say a word about Twilight's/Big Mac's interactions and her struggle to heal him, aside form the fact that she actually asked Big Mac to talk with his sis, something that Twilight in the show didn't considered. I hoped it would get at least a little attention.
7156564
Cannot unsee.
The tail points downwards as it goes into her rear. It wouldn't look as bad if the angle there were flipped.
why do i think one of the princess are going to show up to help heal twilight and aj going to cave in and get help do anything and everything possible to make it up to twilight
7156564
I don´t even know. It looked that way to me on the front art, and I hope more people don´t see it that way.
Oof. Lucky night was comming since that blessing will come in real handy right now.
Have to say the interaction with Big Mac and Twiny was pretty cute. A great way to start a friendship.
What will be more interesting to me is Rd's reaction considering how much she like Twiny this story. All I can say is AJ is heading for a bad time reputation wise with this one. I look forward to seeing the fireworks.
7156368 Ah, okay.
And I'll have to take your word on the South Park thing, 'cause I've never watched the show.
Ever.
Seen bits and pieces of it, but not the whole show.
7156564
Yep, it will.
And as much as I love AJ, that's what always aggravated me about that episode.
Yes, she was delirious from lack of rest and sleep, but she
A. Launched Rainbow onto Twilight's balcony, which could have seriously hurt her; maybe even put her in the hospital;
B. Caused food-poisoning to half(?) of Ponyville's residents with those "baked bads" muffins (which could've gotten her in some really serious trouble should any of those effected decided to press charges);
and C. Caused a stampede of rabbits that caused severe emotional damage (okay, the Flower Trio are bigger drama queens than Rarity, but still), by eating stuff they shouldn't have.
And that's only the three that I can think of off the top of my head atm.
Oh gosh. Applejack is going to be beating herself up for at least a week over this.
Wow. Well, I give you credit for writing the logical consequence of two such stubborn egos colliding... It's good that Twilight finally woke up to what her behavior was doing to her friends, but she certainly didn't help matters by straight-up ignoring Applejack. I suspect that sleep deprivation has had a serious effect on the both of them at this point.
But again, credit for taking things a bit more seriously than canon without going grimdark. I would guess that this isn't going to be an injury that Twilight can laugh off, so it'll be interesting to see how she copes with her physical therapy or equivalent.
7156550
You beat me to it. How could you?
7156091
7156368
YOU BASTARDS!
though i am unhappy with Applejac i have gone with out sleep for a while to and know for a fact that thinking clearly is nearly impossable.
I'm surprised Overwatch didn't blast AJ through a tree. AJ might be getting a visit from a very angry Celestia and Luna. Still, got to wonder why Twiny didn't just hit her with a sleep spell to make her rest. At least Twiny knows she messed up herself, hopefully she'll take better care of herself in the future. I'm a little sad she didn't interact with Apple Bloom at all, but seeing her perched on Big Mac's head was adorable!
AJ confirmed as worst pony.
7156564
I think cannot Is a bit off for AJ, can't or couldn't would fit her better. Rarity is the type to use full words rather than contractions.
Damn. She's lucky Overwatch was tired or AJ might be less worried about what she did and more worried about getting blasted into orbit.
Grated if that flare is for either of the Princesses..........
Given how Celestia has her advisor in chain's simply for going against orders.....ehats gonna happen to the made that nearly killed her student?
Hmm. It seems as if the next couple of chapters may make or break this story.
Please do continue...
7156581 7156682
Are you talking about art for this story? Twilight in background of a giant book?
7156677
Considering that the princesses aren't experts with healing, I am unsure if it is the best course of action. As for AJ, I am sure guilt will weight heavy on her.
7156798
Congrats on being the first one to mention Big Mac/Twiny scene. That's rather refreshing since everyone talk only about AJ's actions. As for Dash, I think she may fell a bit betrayed by AJ's action since next to Twiny and Fluttershy, AJ was Dash's closest pall.
Do you mean that she will end up on Twiny's bad pony list? Or rather her reputation with Twiny's guards or rest of Twilight's fiends?
7157098
Consiering that ponies in MLP are very forgiving (they forgive villains very quickly, even world-dooming events or CMC shinanigans), so I am not surpriced that AJ got out of the hook even after all she did (ponies in Ponyville won't hold a grudge, especially to a helpful and hardworking pony as AJ). Though personaly when I watched this episode, I was wondering why Big Mac never adressed this situation. If he knew that AJ is causing harm to Ponyville, why he didn't step up to talk Applejack out of it. (I prefer if problem solving is done not just by main 6, but actually by other ponies, since I don't like when everyone except main 6 are incompetent).
Also, how could Twiny miss opportunity to use magic and heal Big Mac's belly, and considering that Big Mac is way tougher than AJ, he must have been hit by something really heavy and sharp to put him out of work.
7157123
Or at least Twiny will forgive her, lol. Regardless, Aj is a type of pony who rather try to make up for her mistake than self pity.
7157250
Yes, Twiny is very handful and troublesome for medical staff. Doctors in Canterlot sure had a lot of stress and worry because of her. However, Twiny's helpful nature make up for it. She did assist Redheart in helping poisoned ponies after all.
7156798 heading for a bad time you say... I believe I know someone who could 'help' with that...
7157264
Pretty much, not to mention that Twiny had a marathon all over Ponyville most of the day, levitating Big Mac and healing him only worsen her health.
The only diference is that Twiny push herself regularly while AJ not so much, so Twilight is more used to physical and mental exaustion. AJ overworking herself put her in far worse condition that Twiny pushing herself who is already used to it.
It won't heal quickly, that's for sure, still, Twilight is used to being crushed, so that's a factor to consider. She was lucky that AJ was exausted, so her kick wasn't devastating.
And thanks for giving me so much credits. I was afraid that I was going too far and would as the result anger a few readers.
7157500
I wonder if Twiny or Big Mac taking a bucket of water with them would be enough to wake up Applejack enough to make her more reasonable, or was she at point where even that wouldn't prevent the disaster.
7157555
It must have taken a lot of self-restrain to not do just that. Either Overwatch is profesional enough to not attack civilians, or she knew that it wasn't AJ's fault and that Twiny is tough enough to endure such hit.
It depends if they will be informed or not. I think Celestia would even symphatise with guilt-driven Applejack since she once stepped on young Twiny, and another time ate her during a birthday party. Luna would be less understanding though.
Good point. I suppouse she didn't consider that option.
She will try for sure, though it is hard to teach old horse new tricks. Twiny made many habbits over 13 years of hardship. It won't be easy to deal with them in a few weeks.
Apple Bloom was probably sleeping at this hour. I couldn't exacly find a way to add her into this chapter without expanding it unneceserly.
It sure was. Luckly, it didn't take too long for Big Mac to find Applejack, or else he wouldn't be allowed to lower his head even a little bit for a long time.
7157566
Not really. From main 6, AJ is the most mature and dependable, She already work on an apple farm and live with her family, so she doesn't have any ambitions.
7157572
Will fix once I answer on all comments, thanks.
7157594
Overwatch being tired may be a factor that played some role in that scene, but it is up to my top editor since Overwatch and Steel Blade are his characters.
You should read chapter 4 part 1 revised, since I changed the scene. No more chains.
7157737
Why are you afraid it would break the story? DId I go too far?
7157804
yep
And so yet another ugly conclusion of an unmovable object(Applejack) meeting an unstoppable force(Twiny). Tune in next time for a shit storm followed by massive apologies and a chance of emo undertones.
7156166 That's still a potential spinal injury leading to paralysis, which for Twilight, might as well be death. If someone as athletic as her gets injured like that it would be a crushing blow to her morale.
7157859
There always is readers to complain and roar, sadly...
7157804 Aj's reputation in the town. Ponyville can handle a great many things, but I am betting a pony putting the wooping on a friend is a line no one will be happy she crossed.
Twiny might forgive but Shiney may have several problems with it.
The redemption ark for Aj is what I am looking forward to.
7157804 I most definitely agree that Applejack won't wallow in self-pity. However, I don't see Applejack as the kind of pony who will forgive herself for this. She'll keep going through life, and maybe even be at a point where she can laugh again.
However, I can see her continually holding herself accountable for this, and always seeking to make it up to Twilight just because she (Applejack) can't forgive herself for this. While Twilight is not family, Applejack, who puts family before anything else in her life, sees this as her nearly killing her friend.
That's how I see it at least. How you choose to portray Applejack in your fic is up to you. I'm eager to see what happens no matter what you decide. You haven't done a poor portrayal of a character yet, so I'm not worried about what you'll do,
Please don't make us wait long can't wait to see what happens next.
7157859 I'm really just joking; AJ gets a lot of "worst pony" humour aimed at her.
Though she really ought to kick this habit of punting Twiny...
7157566 Yeah, you might've went too far with this one.
7157804 Hmmm, good points all the way around.
7158231 Hmmm, okay, good point.
We know Twiny isn't dead. I still want to see Luna have a 'talk' with AJ.
7157859
hmmmm if it was ice cold maybe. sorta like sobering some one up.
7158121
Personally, I don't see it.
7158146
I get the impression that I made it darker than it was suppouse to.
7158231
True. However Twiny is tough, surely she can recover from her injury without permanent side-effects. At worse she can just perform surgery on herself somehow. Her healing magic is still significant.
7158454
7158485
I fear that I will dissapoint the both of you.
I already have lots of events and situations to write about so I don't have much place for any long redemption-ark for Applejack.
7159249
Will Twilight tell princesses what happened is not certain. She may want to withold from telling about this event.
7159257
Probably even colder than the water Overwatch used to wake up Twiny. After all, tiny Twilight under rain of cold water have better chance to wake up than AJ being splashed by a normal size bucket of cold water with ice-cubes.
7159605
Oh no no no I don't see the end as being dark. I just like being dramatic. You kept things nice and clean considering what Applejack did to Twiny.
I gotta put my two bits in here. I dont see aj doing this in the manner presented. Can i see her making the mistake absolutely but the after thought of the deed and lead up makes me believe that she would have willfully done so while under normal circumstances. The first part was premetative she thought about what she was doing shone by the warnings given. If she was as out of it as stated no more than one or two warnings would be given but here we had plenty. And then there was the smug satisfaction she got after it that just seemed over villified.
Not really upset about what happened but steps leading up to and what it says about aj's character because like i said it just leaves the impression that she would have still done so under normal circumstances.
These are just my gripes and complaints (im sure youve read many) still cant wait to see how this turns out.
Ps im typing this at one am sorry if some of it doesnt make sense.
7161022
I disagree. The way it was presented pointed out that AJ isn't aware of what was going on. Shaky walk, exaustion, blury vision. AJ even forgot that Twilight was small and would have problem enduring her kick. Her smug of satisfaction last only a few seconds before Big Mac's punch woke her up. When realization struck her, she started to feel horrible. So I don't see how would AJ do such under normal circumsances?
Sure, if let's say Dash would annoy her over and over, AJ sooner or later would kick her (knowing full well that her friend would shrug it of), but in Twiny's case, she wouldn't do it as she knew that it would greatly hurt her. Applejack with exausted mind probably forgot that Twilight was small in the first place.
In this verse, Twilight didn't talk with AJ before this event. Applejack was doing her work without anyone complaining to her until this part of the chapter.
Because AJ thought she gave a nomrla size pony who annoyed her a lesson. Her mind didn't proceed what was going on until Big Mac woke her up.
She would do it under normal circumstances to a normal sized pony, however she would do it mostly do Rainbow Dash for being annoying, she wouldn't do it to Rarity or Fluttershy, knowing that they are more vunerable and wouldn't take it. It is similar to how Pinkie Pie bumped her friends with flank during the birthday party. Flutterhsy and Twilight ended up smashed against a wall. Did she notice, no, did they complain, no.
Well, it is hard to understand what are you trying to say, but I understand you were writting it in circumstances that didn't allow you to watch your grammar.
On a side note, I dunno how I can word it diferently to fix your complains. The only thing that comes to mind would be taking how AJ's smug after she kicked Twilight, or point out that she was barely seeing her surroundings, outside of it, I don't know what can I change to fix pointed issue.
Eyup
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I'm kind of both halves as seeing it OOC, and angry at what she did to Twilight.
Would she hit a pony? Probably, but only Dash, her brother, or another relatively strong pony.
As for her being out of it. I don't buy that. She gave plenty of warnings this chapter, and she wasn't out of it, as much as she didn't have inhibitions in enacting violence against a pony whom for as long as she's known her was the size of a cat. That'd be like saying she'd willfully kick the stuffing out of Winona or even the CMC for annoying her.
And even at her worst, and at her angriest at the CMC she never struck them. So I don't see how "forgot Twilight wasn't a full grown pony" when a) Twilight even when seeing quadrupal is the size of a small pet, b) Applejack had to aim her hoof at the right level, steady herself to make sure it'd hit, then had to focus on the fact that the pony doing the lifting wasn't bigger than the buckets themselves, and c) told Twilight to stop helping and that she didn't need Twilight's help 5 times before attacking her.
Let's not forget that she sees Twilight in her brother's mane.
I fail to see how with all that, even tired. She forgets that Twilight isn't a full grown pony, and is too out of it that she forgot that the pony she's hitting is pet sized. Even smaller than her sister, AB.
Would she hit Rainbow Dash, or other large athletic pony for annoying her? Possibly, she did basically that in Fall Weather Friends. Would she hit her sister, her sister's friends, any of the Pets in Ponyville, or somepony smaller than her? No. She's never done that, even when she was furious and livid at her sister. Or at the animals making a mess. Sure she'd want them magiced up, or Fluttershied. But she wouldn't strike anything smaller than herself.
Which with 5 warnings, plenty of aiming, and having seen Twilight resting on her brother's mane, and trying to lift a basket bigger than she was. It comes off as OOC. Regardless of how tired she was.
As for angry at what she did to Twilight. You can bet I am. I mean she's as strong as Rainbow Dash, and on par with most master Martial Aritsts + Equine muscle mass. Her striking full force a pony who's that small, even with her magical resistance to damage, is over kill.
____________________
That said. I'll see if you can bring this from going to Dark, and how long it'll take Twilight and the others to forgive her. Since unlike the show, this is unprecedented. At least in non-Abuse / non-Dark fics. So she'll actually have to work for it. Hard. A whole lot harder than the whole thing with Applebuck Season. Both in the eyes of the Mane 6, those who care about Twilight. And the readers.
7161067
It just comes off as though she would put her pride before the welfare of her friends. And that she while might not have done so to twiny under normal circumstances she still would have done so to any normal size friend. Again it was the warnings that she gave twi before hand that sugests this, the nocking the basket over as well as verbal warning shows she was thinking clearly or not she knew she was dealing with someone she knew. Thus sugesting she would do so to another friend under normal circumstances.
Now if i may be bold twiny instead of rushing to the tree to help, jumps on applejack in an attempt to cast a sleep spell or force her to listen by yelling in her ear. Applejack doesnt want to listen so reashly bucks wildly. Twiny falls off due to fatigue and aj's hooves land on her or accedentaly bucks her mid air into the tree. Just as traumatizing to aj but doesnt sacrifice her character.
Like i said not upset that it happened just that it comes off (to me anyway) as aj being overly villified.
7161583
I suppouse I wrote this scene to be darker than I intended (especially considering what I planned for next part). Similar had happened with Celestia's scene when it came out after the chapter was already uploaded.
I suppouse if my top editor had way more time, he would warn me of the implications of this scene, oh well.
I can try to write alterantive one and add it at the beggining of chapter 4 part 4, while asking in author notes if this alternative scene works better.
7161945
Now I understand what you mean more clearly, you have a point.
This idea is actually worth considering. I will write alternative scene and present it in a blog or at the beggining of chapter 4 part 4. Though I may probably add some changes into it.