Ponyville’s Tiny Librarian
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Chapter 5
Griffon Brushoff
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part 3
“Hey, Twilight,” Spike called as his attention was focused on a few levitating plates advancing towards the table. The moment the plates landed in their rightful positions, Twilight turned around and looked at him.
“What is it, Spike?”
“Whose party is it?” he asked while pointing at the various decorations: From balloons and food to a pony-shaped poster without a tail.
“For Dash’s friend, of course,” Twilight said with a smile and shake of her hoof. “For some reason, Pinkie Pie complained that Gilda is mean to other ponies, but I know that she’s not that bad, she just needs to warm up to others, so I volunteered to assist in her welcome party.”
Spike nodded before offering to help, while Steel Blade and Overwatch stood at the entrance into the Sugarcube Corner and observed the party preparations, their attention was focused on Twilight, knowing full well that something would go wrong for her.
It didn’t take long for Gilda make her entrance and end up in several arguments with Pinkie Pie as the party started. Twilight did her best to extinguish the flames of anger between the party mare and griffon, only to notice some device on Pinkie’s hoof. Without hesitation, she jumped onto Gilda's shoulder and ran towards her talons while charging magic for a spell. But, she was too late as her griffon friend had been electrified, and to Twilight’s displeasure, she felt a bit of electricity going through her. With her smoky mane and tail straightened upwards and exposed teeth on her shocked face, the little unicorn fall to the side, crashing against the floor.
After recovering from the shock, Twilight looked around, afraid that Pinkie may set up more pranks while being unaware that Gilda wouldn’t take them lightly. She was not disappointed as something suspicious caught her attention.
Not wasting time to fix her mane, she jumped onto the plate filled with many snacks that Pinkie was holding and offered to taste one before Gilda had the chance. Twilight’s eyes watered with every bite as her mouth turned into a forge, and despite her high resistance to heat, whatever she ate forced her to levitate a glass of punch above herself. The moment she tried to drink from it, she noticed small hole in the surface so she drank from the hole instead.
Twilight wiped her wet face with her foreleg and glanced at the griffon, who was examining a gift. Now more than sure that Gilda was being targeted, she levitated it over before the griffon could open it.
“Hey!” Gilda said in annoyance as she followed Twilight who levitated the present above her head, but before she could retake it, the little unicorn opened it with her magic as fake snakes shoot out of it.
Twilight turned towards her griffon friend and looked her in the eyes with a serious stare. “You need to be careful, Pinkie Pie is trying to prank you.”
Gilda tightened her talons as she gave the party pony a hostile glare. ”Pinkie.”
“Stay on your guard. Something tells me it's just the beginning,” Twilight warned while Gilda nodded and walked towards the party pony who was pushing a candle-filled cake.
***
Overwatch chuckled. “That’s three of four.”
Steel Blade raised an eyebrow at her. “What do you mean?”
She gestured at Twilight, who was busy wiping her wet face with a large tissue and fixing her mane. “Out of the four pranks meant for Gilda, Twilight has managed to prevent three of them.”
“Yeah, by taking them to the face,” Steel Blade scoffed. “Shouldn’t we do something, though?”
“Absolutely. I’m starving for some sweets right now,” she remarked with a wide grin. Steel Blade frowned at her, and she added, “Those pranks are mostly harmless. Don’t worry so much.”
“Harmless? I’m pretty sure there was electricity involved in there!”
Overwatch shrugged. “She’s been shocked by much bigger things when she was doing her weird combat training thing back at the palace. This can’t be much worse.”
“You mean the times she’s managed to shock herself when she was trying to zap a training dummy?”
She snickered. “Ahh, good times.”
Steel Blade rolled his eyes. “Still, what if one of these pranks surpasses ‘mere annoyance’ and actually hurts her? I know we should interfere only when necessary, but I don’t want her to end up in the hospital because we weren’t fast enough.”
Overwatch took in a sharp breath, releasing it slowly. She should have been faster. She should’ve been able to stop more than two of Applejack’s kicks.
Turning from Steel Blade to Twilight, Overwatch growled out a simple, “Point taken,” before falling into silence.
***
The party went on as Gilda prevented some of the pranks from embarrassing her, while Twilight as her guardian angel assisted in any way possible, sometimes ending up as the victim of the prank instead. During a game in ‘pin tail on a pony’ she was about to succeed, but the lack of trust in Pinkie Pie’s words made her slip on a fragment of cake and slide towards the wall.
Twilight heroically jumped in the way, ready to use her levitation spell to slow her down, only for her griffon friend to bump into her. While Gilda ended up with a fake mustache, Twilight would have ended up pinned to a wooden wall between feathers and a hard place if not for Overwatch to levitate her out of the way before the unfortunate crash.
Steel Blade gave his partner a proud smile while offering her a plate of cake held on his wing.
Annoyed by being under a constant assault of pranks, Gilda let her frustration burst out. Steel Blade and Overwatch were quick to escort the angered guest out before the situation would escalate, and before anypony noticed it, the little volunteer was gone as well.
Rainbow Dash, the nerve of her. She and her lame friend can go and buck off, Gilda thought as she flew restlessly while feeling both humiliated and betrayed. “I prefer to hang out with my uncool friends over you, Gilda,” she murmured to herself, feeling growing irritation. “I will embarrass you in front of everyone, I hope you won’t mind Gilda. I have pony friends now so go away or I will kick you out, Gilda.”
“I hope you won’t mind that I act like a jerk and am mean to your friends, Rainbow Dash, it’s not like you will care or anything,” somepony spoke, much to the griffon’s confusion.
Gilda stopped and started hovering mid air as she looked around, alarmed. “Who's there?” she said while exposing her sharp talons. “How about you say it to my face!” she challenged, and to her surprise, she could feel something climbing up on her head before noticing two purple forelegs land on her beak while Twilight stared her in the eyes firmly.
“I hope you won’t mind that I will act like a jerk, that I will be mean to your friends,” Twilight spoke firmly. “Ha, in your face!” she shouted as Gilda raised her eyebrow.
“Your guts won’t save you from what I’m about to do with you,” Gilda said threateningly, looking at Twilight with anger in her now narrowed eyes. The eyes of a hungry predator.
“I’m only telling the truth. When Rainbow Dash asked me to befriend you, she mentioned that beyond her, you don’t like any pony,” Twilight stated as Gilda looked at her as if she had stated the obvious. “She was worried that you may not get along with her friends. Now I see why.”
“Oh yeah! If she knew, why she even bothered to get me into that lame party. I bet all those pranks were just to provoke me so she can kick me out of her life!”
Twilight shook her head, doing her best to maintain her balance despite the wind. “Well… I must admit. Dash most likely lied that those pranks were meant to be for everypony, though she didn’t want to admit her mistake…” Gilda nodded, almost throwing the little mare off. Twilight regained her balance and took her hind legs from Gilda’s head as her rear hooves were now anchored on sides of Gilda’s beak. “But even if she did choose a very poor time to prank you, she never intended to kick you out from her life, trust me.”
Gilda frowned. “Pfft… like I care.”
Twilight growled in response. “You have a serious attitude problem. You know that?”
“Oh yea? And...and...you're a puny freak,” Gilda responded as she started to fly forward. Twilight could feel the wind pressing against her back as she tightened her hold on Gilda’s beak, adding her forelegs for support.
“I had an attitude problem too when I first came to Ponyville. I was so focused on proving to everypony that I can do big things despite my small size. Not to mention my desire to do everything by myself, no matter how risky or hard it was.” Twilight looked at the griffon with a sad smile while her ears would drop if not for the wind that already pressed them against her face. “By trying to prove how good I was, I saw everypony as unable to do anything. I insulted them by thinking that what I can do they cannot, despite being far bigger than me.”
“And what's wrong with showing some lamers how cool and independent you are?” Gilda asked curiously as the distance from Sugar Cube Corner increased.
Twilight sighed. “In the end, I was almost eaten by a manticore if it was not for them. They saved my life. Only when I stopped trying to prove myself, I understood what my new friends were capable off.”
Gilda blinked a few times in confusion before she narrowed her eyes. “Those lame-o’s, capable of doing anything? Don’t make me laugh. You and Rainbow Dash are the only ponies who can face a manticore.”
“But they did. It’s something that you can see only by looking past their appearances or your pride,” Twilight started firmly as her resolve increased. “You’re so focused on making yourself look cool and so self-centered that you don’t notice the good inside other ponies, not even giving them a chance.”
“I gave them a chance! I came to that stupid party of that stupid pink pony, and you saw how it ended. You even tried to warn me about those pranks and got some on yourself. Aren’t you even a little angry?” Gilda asked with a sharp and strong voice.
Twilight smiled and shook her head. “Not at all, and besides, what happened to me at that party is nothing compared to what I had to experience during the past weeks I spent here. You cannot even take a few pranks while I endured tons of craziness,” she said with her head raised proudly as Gilda stopped in mid air and landed on a cloud, her inner magic letting her copy the cloud walking ability of a pegasus.
Gilda shook her head until Twilight slid from her beak onto her talons. “Oh yeah, and what would a small fry like you possibly have had to deal with?”
“You have no idea.”
“Try me.”
Twilight started to tell Gilda the series of events she experienced when she met her new friends: How Applejack mistook her for a prank tool, how Rainbow Dash body-slammed her into mud, how Rarity mistook her for a rat and tried to throw her away like piece of garbage, how Fluttershy was annoyingly overprotective, and finally, how Pinkie’s party almost made her deaf.
Twilight intentionally left out the whole Nightmare Moon’s incident and told about the mess she got herself into the moment her friends found about tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala, which resulted in a tag against the entire town. How much trouble Applejack caused her because of overworking herself, sending her to the hospital in the end by bucking her into a tree.
***
“Are you serious?” Gilda asked as she gave her tiny friend a disbelieving stare with wide eyes. The moment Twilight nodded, she added, “You had to endure all this crap and you’re still calling those ponies your friends?”
“Well... It was not easy, but in the end their friendship is worth fighting for. If it wasn’t for my friends, I would’ve been eaten by a manticore in the Everfree Forest, and the good times we had overweigh the bad ones.” Twilight smirked proudly and added, “Besides, I’m trying to become a strong pony, and a strong pony can forgive others for hurting her, a strong pony will gladly face challenges to become even stronger.” She pointed her hoof at Gilda accusingly. ”Actually, now that I think about it, I didn’t cry over a few annoying pranks like you did.”
The griffon opened her beak in attempt to respond, but couldn’t find any words. Twilight quickly used her hesitation and spoke, “Is the big strong griffon unable to take a few pranks without making herself a crybaby? I could take ten times the pranks with a smile, and I’m much smaller than you.”
Gilda’s face turned red for a moment and was about to burst into rage, but then she just let out a deep sigh instead and looked at Twilight in admiration. “You’ve got a point. I must look like a loser if I cannot take a few pranks like a griffon, and compared to the crap you had to face, wow, I have no right to be complaining at all.”
“That's the spirit!” Twilight smiled as she pointed down at Ponyville, which was away on the horizon. “Let’s go back. You shouldn’t give up on Rainbow Dash because of a few pranks. Also, if you’ll give my friends a chance, you might get to like them.”
Gilda place Twilight onto her back. “Hang on tight, I’m going to get you back to that party,” the griffon said as she dived towards Ponyville. Twilight followed the advice as she held Gilda’s neck as tight as she could, fighting against the wind that tried to push her away. “I think I will give Dash some time to calm down before I talk to her and apologise, a week or two should do,” she remarked.
Twilight shook her head to get her mane away from her eyes before asking, “What about her other friends?”
“I think I will stay out of their way for now, but I may give them a chance one day. Though there’s one of Dash’s friends who I want to hang out with.”
“Really, is it Pinkie Pie, or Applejack maybe?” Twilight asked cluelessly.
“You, stupid! You’re the coolest of all of Dash’s friends!”
“I am?”
“Yes, you are. How can you be so cluele…” Gilda was cut off by Twilight’s strong laughter.
“Got you.”
Gilda chuckled. “Not bad. Where do you live by the way?” she asked while reaching Ponyville, flying in the sky right above it.
Twilight looked around before a big tree caught her attention. “Can you see that giant tree over there?”
Gilda looked around to find the object that Twilight pointed at before smirking. “So... A tiny mare like you lives in one of the biggest trees in Equestria. Somepony’s got a size complex.”
Twilight blushed. “Well… There’s a big library and small laboratory inside, so I can read and do my research. Also, I need to accommodate Spike, Steel Blade and Overwatch, so it’s not like I live in that big tree all by myself,” she explained before adding proudly, “also, I like big things, and climbing up my home is a good morning exercise.”
Gilda chuckled. “So where to deliver you, to the party or to your tree?”
“Party. After all, Rainbow Dash got a few pranks on us, we cannot leave without returning the favour?” Twilight said devilishly while wiping her fore-hooves against one another.
“Pranks, and what do you know about pranking?” Gilda asked curiously as she flew above Sugar Cube Corner while Twilight levitated herself in front of her beak and was now looking her in the eyes.
“Oh, not much. I’m just a tiny unicorn who can sneak everywhere unnoticed, who knows hundreds of spells, and has enough magic to cast them, while one of my friends is a mischievous phoenix. What can I possibly know about pranking others?” Twilight asked sarcastically with her forelegs crossed.
Gilda smirked as she raised her tightened talons while Twilight did the same with her hoof. With a swift move, Gilda’s talons bumped into Twilight’s forehoof before they said, united. “Let's do this!”
GOOD Gilda is getting a chance, the series ended up running her over by a bus and then backed up to make sure they got her. Did she for the most part deserve it? For the most part, yes but not all that she was given.
I feel bad for ponyville, and Gilda what have you unleash, what about to happen I have a feeling will make Discord weep tears of happyness
I agree with the idea of telling for the episode-y parts that remain the same, no need for that much reduncancy :)
every one deserves a 2nd chance. ^_^
I'm very glad it turned out this way but I'm kinda sad that we don't get to see how Twi gets them back with the pranks. I was kinda hoping we get to see what she came up with.
7227569
I am sure Twiny had teleportation in mind form the very start. Unlike situation with Celestia, this time she had acces to her magic.
7232173
Which is why I took diferent approach. Twiny is not the one to give up on friendship easily, even on the one she just started recently.
7232236
7232276
I talked with Rated Ponystar and he said he may be interested in writting a sidestory with this pranking involved, once he gets more time to work with. Feel free to give him some encouragement.
7232256
That's good.
Oh no, the great and powerful ANNOYANCE is coming up next. Need. To be. Strong!!!!
Twiny and Gilda are going to prank Dashie???? *grabs popcorn* this is gonna be good! If Gilda sticks around... can she scare a certain obnoxious tiara wearing filly at some point????
7232416 Twiny might actually set out to humiliate her if TGAP Trixie pushes the right buttons with her.
This is a perfect way to do the episodes. Focus on the new things and move past the things we allready know (not many who read fan fics who have not seen the episodes:P). Great chapter, thousand thanks for the fun update:D
7232173 They redeemed her somewhat in season 5, though to be honest her role there was pretty replaceable other than 10 seconds of "oh God it's her".
Curious to see how CommanderX5 handles TGAP Trixie, in that regard - she, too, could have been handled a lot better by the Mane 6 in the show. I sincerely hope Twilight's curious and all-loving nature comes through there as well.
Didn't see it coming? It was as obvious as a giant flaming pigeon that this wasn't going to end in "gilda leaves town in an angry huff".
That was not how i thought that was gonna go, but i wasnt disappointed. I really liked this exchange between twi and gilda as it really shows that twi acknowledges her friends faults and misbehaviors and that she moved on despite them. Also it showed gilda being upset that she might lose rd and that when her own faults are laid infront of her she acknowledges them and chooses to try and fix them.
While rd still looks like an ass, i cant help but justify her position as she doesnt seem to know the hell pinkie has put gilda through and thus she only saw her friend reacting poorly to pranks they enjoyed pulling on each other in the past.
I enjoyed this chapter greatly
Huh i wonder if this twilight would like to compete with trixie? I can see that and her going th other way to teach trixie a lesson being bostful and possibly helping her with magic.
I cant wait to see what happens
Next is an interesting show involving horns, ropes, and chains. There is no safe word, so have fun.
So... There's a few butterfly-effect influenced episodes that are already off.
Wait. How about Rainbow Dash and Daring Do!
You can't possibly have Twiny heal her after that crash...
7232416
I take it you don't like Trixie. What are you fearing the most to find in the upcomming chapter if I may ask? (Unless it was sarcasm and you actually like her apperance).
7232510
The pranking story is up to Rated Ponystar if he will write it or not. I can't exacly affort it.
As for Trixie, you will need to wait and find out. (Not that Trixie's ego would survive if she was defeated by a tiny unicorn).
7232611
Thanks, and you're welcome.
7232624
You'll have to wait and see. One think I can say is that I also find episode with Trixie's apperance in need of improving. You will have to put some faith in Twiny in this regard.
As for season 5, I found the episode rather appealing, mostly because of Pinkie's shinanigans and partly by GIlda's flashback. (Pinkie was really great in that episode).
7232714
So you trusted Twiny to prevent Gilda from leaving after the party fiasco?
7232883
Glad you enjoyed my take on Gilda, and hope you will like her apperance in the future.
7232905
Hopefully you'll like my take on Trixie in the next one. Though it may not go as you think it will. I am not that predictable. (Though your guesses aren't all that far from what I planned).
7233034
Awww... you spoiled a tiny bit of it due to your editing position. Though it's not much so I will let it slide. Hehe.
7233122
By that you mean that because of Twiny, the episodes are playing diferently than in the show, or that I failed to properly use the butterfly effect and the chapters involving the episodes are off and not show enough changes?
As for Daring Do, it is a far away future, so I am not yet 100% certain how I will handle her.
7233122 Have you not read My Little Medic?
Twilight is a fully qualified medic and surgeon. She is capable of repairing broken bones, nerves, muscles, etc.
7233178 More like the episodes the playing differently.
That I like, that is.
7233184 Read It and Weep in a nutshell:
Rainbow Crash
Wake in Hospital
Twi recommend DD for passtime
Dash like
Then some random "I dun wanna si my fwinds abut dis" moments.
Which is, actually, so far. Our present problem is Trixie.
Well, she'll like Big Mac then. Wink wink nudge nudge.
7233178 But can Twiny tame the Ursa Minor into being Ponyville's Dragon Defense??? I can totally see her sitting on the Ursa's head smirking at a rogue dragon who is about to find Pony is not on the menu.
Nice chapter. Wish I could of seen flying twilight being taught some tricks. Oh well. With Trixie wonder how she will deal with the ursa minor. If it is the same as canon then Trixie would not leave either. She would faint in shock at seeing a unicorn of twilight's size carry a ursa that huge like that by herself in that case and wouldn't be able to leave. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Heh...
I am so certain Discord is going to turn Twilight into a giant or something.
If not Discord, then Poison Joke would do it.
7233184
Eeyup.
7233273
lol
7233372
I am not sure. Taming beasts is more of Fluttershy's speciality.
7233547
Sadly, those took place off screen. I have way too many stuff to write about and couldn't affort to add it.
7233547
Twiny isn't that strong. Sure, she's stronger than Twilight from the show, should they both be at the same size, but size reduction limits her power greatly.
7234192
Interesting theory. You'll have to wait to find out if it is right.
7234192 Hes coming and i can not wait Dissscccooorrrddd
7234596 Well, I figure that Twiny goes for 150% more than Twilight does... so why not befriend the Ursa Minor???? Just imagine her perched on the Ursa's nose scolding Snips and Snails for bothering the poor star beast.
Use the training you did with the fire bird! Go for all da pranks!
7234940 Well, Twiny still needs a pet, right?
It always bugged me first season how much Gilda got shafted. I think I like this version more.
I don't get this.
Gilda gets set up for a non-stop prank fest by Pinkie Pie. And it was told that it was Pinkie Pie here. And Twilight gets hit by most of the pranks, and most of them not funny for her.
Then all the sudden we get a tonal shift. Where Gilda is the "unwanted guest" to her own party. Whom the guards knew was getting targeted, whom Twilight was getting hit the most with. And Overwatch is feeling guilty from not acting fast enough from AJ.
So what in the hay? You go on a different track than Griffon Brush off. Then go a 180, and throw in the exact same bit. That makes no sense.
____________________
Stopped reading here.
Seriously what the fsk? Where in the 9 Hells does this come from? The entire section before Gilda's outburst. Has her as the victim, of a malicious prank attack. With Twilight getting hit with most of them. Hell even TWILIGHT SAYS
And we have:
So what the ever loving hell did that come from? I stopped reading here. I mean sure if this chapter was completely different, and Twilight didn't both try stopping the Prank Assaults, warn Gilda that Pinks was gunning for her, and didn't get hit with most of them. That would make sense. But you go from "Gilda is a victim" to "Gilda had it totally coming to her". Out of freaking nowhere.
And heck Twilight admits that they they were for Gilda. Which makes it totally uncool of both Dash, the guards, and now Twilight.
I might try reading this later. But right now, that's way to much of a shift and bullox.
7240375
That's because most of events happen off screen. Twilight prevented many pranks, which delayed Gilda's outburst, but it happened anyway (I could write more pranks to follow the events of the show, but I tried to keep this part brief and show only new stuff).
The reason why Twilight suggests to prank Dash and the others back in the end is because she felt that it was unfair. Regardless, at first Twilight thinks that Pinkie is the one pranking Gilda, but later it turns out that it was Dash. Twilight doesn't believe that Dash's pranks were directed for everypony since Gilda ended up the victim every single time. Sorry that it seemed to be too big of a shift for you.
7240477
I didn't get that far. And that's really no excuse.
Dash Knew that Gilda had only one friend ever. And that was her. And she knew that Gilda would probably be jealous.
That's why she got Twilight to befriend Gilda to ease her into getting to know her other friends.
You outright show that Gilda is being targeted, and that Dash knows that Gilda has a short temper.
Yet onscreen you have Twilight try diffusing the pranks. And onscreen show that Gilda's being targeted by them.
Which is different from the show. Then out of the blue. You have her take one prank to many. Have her blow up. As Dash knew would happen, then all the sudden she's the unwanted guest, she's at fault and a jerk, it's her fault for blowing up.
With no lead in to that. You go through 3 parts with Twilight befriending Gilda. No "Oh! I might just be jealous of Gilda befriending other. I'll throw her a party to cheer her up." Heck if Twilight saw Gilda being a jerk (and she was hanging out with her quite a bit, so it's unlikely that she wouldn't have seen something). She'd tell her to her face, and work to help her.
But no. It goes from Gilda being targeted by Pranks, and Gilda and Twilight getting one after another that are purposefully targeted at her.
And Yeah I can see her being escorted off to cool down. But Twilight doesn't have her back, Dash knowing full god damn well what would happen. Kicks her to the curb. Then Twilight has the audacity to say, "You had it coming for being a jerk." After everyone else does a heel turn and turns her from the griffon the party was for to, "an unwanted guest".
Even knowing what Dash told her about Gilda. And how it'd take time to ease her into it. Rather than blasting her, with her known short temper, with one humiliating prank (which Dash and Pinks don't due to their pony friends. Rather tailor crafting Pranks so each side can laugh about it) after another. All meant to ruffle her feathers. Trolling her to get her to loose her cool.
Twilight would know those two were being the jerks (even if Gilda did jerky things. That prank fest was malicious,). But I never got past that part where Twilight calls Gilda a jerk. Seriously. That's f'd up. Especially since at the party she was pushed to loosing her cool. Since Dash didn't bother setting up pranks for everyone. Pinks did it to target Gilda. Twilight admits to that.
7238348 That is a most epic idea for a pet. Plus, I would love to see Discord try to mess with Twilight only to get attacked by the Ursa Minor. Or the Minor could be shrunk to Winoa's size and Twiny would hug it.
7240551
Not so much. In the show Gilda also ends up the victim of every single prank. Dash says that Gilda just had bad luck by getting them all, which I don't buy since nopony else ended up as victim. In this story Twilight just pointed out that it is too much of a coincidence and that Dash just doesn't want to admit that she pranked Gilda.
Sigh...
Your comments are filled with anger and dissapointment, so all I can tell you is to take a break to calm down, and later read this part to the end, because Twilight is in neutral ground at the end, yet you cut off reading too early to get the whole picture.
7240638
What's different in the show. Was that there was someone to warn Gilda she was being targeted. Helping defuse them as much as possible. And when Gilda broke up. She suddenly became the "Unwanted guest" rather than the "guest of honor". And yeah I might read past that bit later. but I have every right to be disappointed and angry for Gilda.
Anyone who gets trolled as much as she was. And with the maliciousness that the pranks were done with. Would blow a gasket. Anyone would. Yet after all of that. The guards treat her like she's an utter ass, and Twilight digs into her. It might have been different if we saw how it went down. But as is (especially if it went down as it did with the show. Where Dash over-reacted and went to town on her.). Gilda had every right to blow her lid. Twilight being in the cross hairs as much as Gilda, should of had her back.
But yeah. I'll re-read it to the end tomorrow. See if my opinion changes. But as is. That whole section is a total tonal shift from what you've built up. At least in Twilight's reaction there, and the guards shift of their view on Gilda. Mostly that "unwanted guest" bit, is what truly urks me. Twilight calling her a jerk without that would've been confusing, but not as much of a Jerk-ish move herself.
7241586
I changed this:
to this:
I know it's not much, but I hope it somewhat clear the confusion.
Can't wait for the Trixie arc. Twiny is more likly to accept the challenge rather than. Ignore it like Canon.
7242463
That actually is great, and keeps in tone with the chapter previous to that bit. I have quite a bit of stuff to do today, but I'll reread the chapter sometime later on today.
we need more overwatch. So I can read about overwatch after i play Overwatch
Twiny and Gilda on a pranking spree? This can only lead to good things.
Great to be reading the twiny-verse again by the way, don't know why I stayed away for so long. Still loving it even after these few months away.
Finally got caught up with this... stupid life getting in the way of awesome fanfics... but I have to say I'm just as eager for more as I've ever been. More Twiny!!
Twiny goin' 'gainst Trixie... now there be a sight t' be seein'. I wond'r how Gilda bein' 'round is gonna shake things up. Lookin' forward t' it, Lad.
7242544
Who knows. Though considering that in Gilda's episode, Dash gave up on their friendship quickly, and in Trixie's episode Dash and other members of main 6 started to call Trixie a showoff and even challenged her, their's action may affect what move Twiny will do.
7242832
Well. A few days have passed. Did you checked it again to the end? Did your opinion changed at least a bit? I am always open for suggestions if something need changing.
7247521
lol
If you would compare Overwatch with characters in the game Overwatch, which one suits Overwatch the most?
7248417
Welcome back from your long break.
7254825
I am still waiting for my top editor to improve Overwatch and Steel Blade scenes, so it will take a while before I can upload it.
Yes, I like this new Gilda.
Well that was fast even for me. Still what ever mistake are made you can always fix and improve am I right? So exited for next chapter I hope my predictions for it are true, only one way to find out.
I love this story. I love this chapter. And I'm sorry, but I really hate the fact that Twilight forgave Gilda, just like that. Gilda also felt the teeniest bit out of character for me, as I doubt she'd taken advice from anypony BUT Rainbow Dash. Heck! I don't even think she'd talk to one, if she wasn't forced to.
Again, my opinion, and keep it up.
Commenting in sections. Now that I can get to this story.
I actually like this re-write. It keeps in character to what you wrote in the chapter prior. Rather than going from "You're getting pranked. let me help." To "It's your fault. You're the one who needs to change."
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At the end. I'm glad that Twilight didn't do the shift the entirety of the blame on Gilda. After all it's kind of stupid to stick up for, and help someone. Only to turn around and say how much they suck and are in the wrong.
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Well in earlier chapters Twilight earned her trust by being swallowed willingly by Gilda. Then teleporting out of her stomach. That earned her more brownie points than any normal pony. Who wouldn't willingly get swallowed by a Griffon.
Bracing myself for the Trixie chapters ... Does Twilight point out that Trixie's show is free to watch / pay by donation? Or that its an act? Does she work to befriend Trixie (Something we see she's never had before)? Does she allow Ponyville to shift the blame on Trixie and say she needs to 'learn her lesson' after being made homeless?
Or does she help Trixie make a more better / less abrasive show? Tell her friends off for heckling? Or try to give Trixie some friendship?
This fic has lots of differences in things ... I'll probably read the Trixie chapters tomorrow.
The change to this chapter made it a lot better, and a whole lot less spontaneously dickish on Twilight and her guards part, than the original chapter. Same could be said on the changes to the AJ chapters earlier. The changes actually made the fic a lot better ^_^.
We need a pranking side story for Gildas party now.lol
Exactly, Good Work Twilight
a hard place
choose
Interesting change to the story here. I like it much better.