A side story to Astral Aegis
Glass Prism was a humble pony but felt the call to join the forces lead by a young filly named Aether Aura. He is one of many being in the third wave of recruites that answer directly to her. Training will be difficult but if what she promises is just beyond the veil of his world it will be worth it.
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For one, typos and mistakes galore, two...
Did you talk to Silvak about this? Like, at all? Because, if you didn't, expect anger.
The story seems a bit to fast paced and not nearly enough details for each moment. Try to work on that.
7018667 Ok thanks ill try and stretch out the sequences
.......... okay, first it's "Astral Aegis" fix the description
7017138
I suspect Silvak will approve if they hadn't spoken about it--this story's got that chaotic touch and plenty of potential to match the main feature
Although, if Silvak doesn't approve, don't expect anger--
Just expect chairs.
And tasers.
And rail guns.
Or some combination.
But, yeah, definitely needs editing.
BTW, expect them, even if Silvak DOES approve.
8428072
I made my comment over a year ago. Shoo little one. (Also no.)
7019429
name of the secound story is Astral Aegis name of the character is Aether Aura
9052223
Uh... thanks?
It's Aether Aura not 'Asther Aura'
Other than that good story
Not bad so far,
but i still need to point this out.
Aether is in her twenty's and she's physically a filly by pony standers of this world. If Prism is supposed to be an adult, he should be in or close to hes hundreds, not close to Aether's age.
9200009
He was still living with his parents when he left so he's like the mane six most likely just in his early twenties in comparison to age.
9200710
he should be in his 40's-50's
if Aether Aura is an equivalent of an adolesent in Cosmic Rifts when she is around 43 years old (and is still a little shorter than Pinkie) I would say he would be around that age or a little older