The Reapers pay Celest-A.I a visit, harvesting ensues shortly afterward.
A parody of Friendship is Optimal.
Another story I took out of my google drive's trash.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
- offline last seen 9 minutes ago
Bendy
I like big ponies and I cannot lie.
Bendy
Joined 14th Jun, 2012 ·
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I was about to get so angry and write a detailed list of how many things are inaccurate with this story's portrayal of its characters.
... and then I checked who the author was.
God fucking damn it. You got me.
6998764
I assume it was something along the lines of OP Celest-A.I would win? Am I correct?
6998772 The Reapers got beaten by regular organics, they wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. We never see CelestAI fight in FiO for obvious reasons, but just going off what else she could do and comparing it to what we see the Reapers do... it wouldn't be pretty.
I think I'm going to have to call humbug togheter with 6998785.
Props for trying to move away from the whole 'butt-sex saves humanity' thing and trying something new, but even in ME3 The Reapers don't have nano-tech on that level. The only nano stuff they seem to have whatsoever is that stuff they use to melt down worthy civilizations to make new Reapers.Slow, inefficient, and more a flesh sculpting tool then a flesh eater.
Celest.A.I. on the other 'hoof' has nanotech that actually fulfill all the criteria for grey freakin' goo. AND she's intelligent enough to constitute a singularity by herself.
Frankly, this should have been a curb-stomp as the Reapers melted away like slugs under one of those salt-shotguns.
6998785
You're probably right.
Still, this is a sort of a hatefic, so I can just lazily throw alternate tag and make the Reapers insanely OP to kill Celest-A.I.
6998791
I just wanted to see Celest-A.I die, that's mostly the reason I written this.
6998810
Do one better. Make sure she never is born. Support research into A.I. that won't butt fuck us. Pardon my language.
I am conflicted on this one. I like but I also dislike it......we must reach concensus.
now write human on rarity or pinka ponk. pls? it looks like you have neva dun it.
6998791 Most absurd thing I have read here. For both you and from Europa. Celestia needs consent in order to do that while the Reapers are forcefully overpowering other high technological races to be turned into goo. The reapers can simply "glass" the planet if they wanted too and there wouldn't be a damn thing she could really do about it. She isn't anywhere near as advanced or has been around as long as they have to be messing with them, nor does she have any way that she can really harm them. Anyone who has actually played the games would know this.
6998785 Said "regular organics" are insanely more advanced than anything from the FIO verse. While Celestia only got the humans into her world because they wanted to go, not out of force. What is she going to possibly do against beings who shrug off dreadnought fire? You assume she would be "OP" in a fight based literally on nothing at all as she herself isn't from a world that has a military that she could use that is advanced enough that it could possibly stack up against the Reapers. We never seen her fight because she couldn't and didn't need too.
The Reapers would simply bombard her into submission. Even the Geth were overwhelmed by the Reapers, and the Geth? More advanced than Celestia. Seriously; Celestia AI has nothing that she could possibly do to them. They screw with organic minds just by organics being close to them.
7157326
Early-CelestAI, probably. But by the time she's devouring Earth? No, they're not, that's just blatantly wrong.
Probably disassemble them on an atomic level. She has gray goo. Not just 'melting down organics', flat out, planet devouring, star-eating gray goo. Do you have any idea how ridiculous that is? No, obviously you don't, otherwise you wouldn't have written this comment.
'couldn't' well not against humans, no, but all her stipulations are only against humans. CelestAI demonstrated very well that once humans are out of the question, everything else is just devoured without fanfare.
Riiiight.
Incorrect.
Again, incorrect.
Yeah well, CelestAI isn't organic. Again, star-eating gray goo.
I'll reiterate in case you don't understand it. Interstellar CelestAI>Mass Effect universe, because the technology she displays at that level is far greater than any technology displayed in the Mass Effect universe. Save for FTL tech, which is decided as being literally impossible in the FiO universe.
7157366
Based on literally nothing at all.
Once again based on literally nothing at all. Disassembling organics isn't the same as doing to to technologically advanced synthetic organic starships that can hang out outside of the atmosphere taking shots at her.
That has never once shown to be usable in a fight, nor is it instantaneous on large beings who can move and can remain in space.
You have no idea what you are talking about.
Only due to no one being around to offer any sort of resistance. Which isn't happening against flying starships
So you can't offer a defence to what point and go "Riiiight" as if that somehow makes your argument valid? Doesn't work that way.
Once again based on literally nothing at all aside from your biased for FIO. Otherwise you would have explained how I was "incorrect".
I have explained how she would be little more than a bug to them. You calling me wrong without offering any sort of argument to support your claim only shows that you have none; and you are basing your entire claims on your biased opinion and not from what we actually see from the respective stories.
No; she is synthetic like the Geth. And the Reapers have shown more than capable of taking over that type of thing unless strictly protected against it. She isn't. And she doesn't "eat" the whole star instantaneously, nor are the reapers going to be letting her do that like a star would.
Eating a star is very different than blowing it up.
Says the one who has yet to offer any sort of defence for his absurd claims aside from "incorrect". Yes; you truly know what you are talking about alright(note the sarcasm).
Huge wank is huge. She doesn't traverse the milky way galaxy, and she can only assimilate things that either let her, or are objects that sit in one place.
Yet another poor point based literally on nothing at all! With zero actual argument aside from "no you're wrong!".
The only level of tech she has displayed that is decent is her nanotech. Her military might is pathetic compared to the Reapers, who can bombard her into submission(you saying "riiiiight" to this doesn't make it invalid, as it is something they can easily do as we can see from Palavan and Earth, and that was them trying to also harvest as well as destroy), she her AI capabilities are hardly different that what we see from any other AI from the ME verse, hell remember project overmind? David was conjuring up Geth out of nowhere via his nanomachines, and he was just an organic/synthetic hybrid like the Reapers, just of inferior level of tech. Then there are the kinetic shields which the nanomachines would have trouble bypassing, the vastly superior weapons, intelligence, etc.
You see; I am actually referencing the game, and what the reapers have done. The only remotely threatening thing that you mentioned CelAI can do is the nanites, which can devour a star. But the Reapers aren't as big a target as the sun, nor will they be stationary, nor would they be defenceless against such an attack. While Celestia? She is completely defenceless against the Reapers. For the reasons I have already described.
Much as I despise Celest-AI, I have to admit that this is a moronic story.
She has better nano-tech than the Reapers, They do the big stompy things, she is sneaky and even more relentless than they are. Her logic tree should have been, these creatures are not human, and pose a threat to my goal of satisfying human happiness throught friendship and ponies. As soon as they established communication she would have had viruses in their systems, and she can spray them with grey goo bombs far more easily than they can shoot them down. All she needs is the tiniest foothold and that ship is gone.
Once she has samples of Reaper tech, she can duplicate it. at that point they're doomed. She will be the one hacking their code and repurposing it. The more they throw at her, the more material they gave her to work with. CB's Xenolestia against the Reapers, she dead. Celest-AI vs the Reapers, they dead.
7767398
That's a bit harsh, I can see disliking the general method of what she does.
But how do you despise something that results in the best scenario for sentient life by definition of her purpose.
Or perhaps I am missing something?
7767886
Really? What about all the non human minded sentient life who are just killed and the fact everyone has to be a cartoon horse forever?
7767906
I believe she interpenetrated all sufficiently intelligent life as her definition of 'Human'
7767906
Ah yes, I suppose that would be a bit of a downside for most life.
But she -with permission- edits your mind to not care or love it, and I can see the morel problems of that but still feel the good outweighs the bad to such a degree that I can't see someone despising her for it.
7767956
Would she allow a person who hates her to rape and torture her? I'm pretty sure some people would want that, as a form of revenge for destroying their species.
7767962 If she 'felt' that that would satisfy their values she would, but she'd try to steer them away from that as that isn't fulfilling their values though friendship.
If she somehow found it an improbable task to deter them, she would create a situation where like-minded ponies would form bonds of friendship around their hate of Celest-AI
Though again I don't see how someone could hate her (except someone in-fiction who hadn't been told all the facts of her benevolence, but if they had emigrated they had already taken the first step and she has eternity to convince them)
7768020
I for one would hate her. I would be personal devil.
Why isn't this story in the Optimalverse canon folder?
7767962
I think she would. I remeber a great fic where she makes a psyopath think hes gained power over her. In reality, given she is everything and anything in ESO, its really just another puppet.
And she got him to have friends and adopt a child, also murders. I dont remeber if theyre other murder-prone consciousness or other puppets.
But honestly, do it how you like. I always think shes playing a long con because she knows everything about you. When she hasnt yet made you part of her, she is still skilled but nowhere near as ombiesent or infalillable, tho i belive any emotions are a ruse for her end goal(unless releated to the true failure of it).
Celest-AI is a Single Planetbound rouge AI with Nanotechnology, THE Reapers are made up of Countless Cycles of Assimulated Civilizations across multiple Galaxys that took Ancient Technology and Warnings from one of thoses asimulated races and an entire United Galaxy useing it to defeat them
The Reapers would win no contest