The Misadventures of Fanta Shock

by Feathers and Fanfics

Chapter 14: A Saucer of Moonlight

Between this world and the next, there is a short gap. In this gap, things lurk that would drive normal ponies mad. Dark creatures of evil, and beautiful beings capable of wreaking havoc on a universe unlike any other.

Nightmare Moon is an example of one of the dark entities slipping through the gap. It used Luna as a host for its evil work, before being banished back to the gap by the Elements of Harmony.

A beam of light searched through the gap, spirits and creatures fleeing before its blinding gaze. All fled except one. It stared into the light, an evil grin spreading across what some might call its face.

"You're back. Is the host still alive?"

Another creature descended, the white light blinking out. "She's alive. Not happy, however. Soon that meddlesome unicorn will be dead and we'll be free to take over the living world."

"I have no faith in that mercenary. We should kill her ourselves."

"We went through thi-"

"WE DON'T HAVE TIME. THE FUTURE DOESN'T LIE. We must kill Fanta before she ends us!"

"... Fine. You can have your way. I'll leave it with you, but I’m warning you: if you fail, it's on your head."

"I won't fail."

- - - - - - - - - -

Fanta looked around her new room. She had just finished unpacking, and patted her bed.

"... Smells of cat."

She turned around. There were three cats standing in her doorway, staring at her. She smirked. "Aww, poor little puss-puss can't get through the anti-cat wards! Who's a dumb little ca-"

One of the cats held up a match, tucked into its tail. Fanta stared.

"... What are you-"

The cat lit the match on the wall, looking at Fanta with the innocence you'd expect of a pyromaniacal feline.

".... I will tell Feather."

The cats looked at each other. The one with the match blew it out, and all three disappeared down the stairs.

"I live in a house with about half a million furry psychopaths, and one horse who adores every one of them. Why did I think this was a good idea?"

Fanta had moved into Feather's house, for safety purposes. After the attack by Pencil, she'd not wanted to take chances.

"Faaaantaaaaaaa!"

Fanta groaned. "What do you want?"

"It's breakfast time!"

Fanta's uncovered eye blinked, and she yelled down the stairs, "IT IS EIGHT O'CLOCK AT NIGHT, YOU MORON!"

"It is?" A few seconds elapsed. "Ohhh, it is! Early breakfast time!"

Fanta slammed her door and went to bed.

She woke up. Something had woken her up. After years of almost dying, she had developed a sort of early warning instinct just before something exploded, threw pointy things at her, or possessed her.

And, variably, all of the above.

She threw herself towards the door, smashing through it and curling up on the floor.

A few seconds passed, and she opened her eye. ".... Guess it was a false alar-" and then her bed was vaporised in a blazing white explosion, along with her bedroom and several knives she'd concealed in the wallpaper. She blinked in disbelief as she heard someone mutter, in a deep and echoing voice, "Damn, I missed."

She took off running, barging into Feather's room, scooping up the sleeping Pegasus, and launching them both out of a window with seconds to spare, as the top floor of Feather's house was blown into matchwood. The pair picked themselves up, groaning gently.

"Fanta.. Are you my marefriend?" Feather burbled groggily.

"No, you featherbrain! We're being attacked by..." She looked up. She stared. Then she threw Feather as far as she could, and tossed herself the opposite way as a smouldering crater appeared where they had been standing. "We're being attacked by an Alicorn!" Feather woke up as she heard this, and the pair began their frantic run through Ponyville.

They weaved in and out of back alleys and through gardens, beams of deadly magic following them wherever they ran, erupting flower patches and obliterating everything from fences to cottage walls. Though it was early in the morning, nopony stirred in the wrecked houses. Fanta banged on a few doors with her hoof, but got no answer. Even the sounds of wanton magical destruction weren't enough to move Ponyville from its slumber. The pair eventually gained sufficient ground on their attacker to take cover underneath a lean-to. Feather panted, out of breath. Even Fanta was worn out, she'd never had to run from an Alicorn before.

"Wh-what do we do? We can't take on an Alicorn!" Feather groaned. "And why won't anypony wake up?"

Fanta pondered this, as the violent creature tore through Ponyville looking for them.

"I think it put everyone to sleep."

"Why would it do that? Can't Alicorns blow up cities with their scary magic?"

"Yes... I think I have an idea of how to fight it."

"You do? How?! It's magical and glowing! You can't even look at it for more than a few seconds!"

"Trust me. Now, here's my plan. You know that kitchen decor shop on Hoof Street..?"

The Alicorn vaporised a row of carts with its magic. "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"Over here, twinkle horn!"

The rage-filled creature looked down at the trembling blue Pegasus on the ground below. "Can'tcatchmehahahaha!" The terrified Pegasus took off running. The Alicorn rolled its glowing eyes. They surely didn't think it would be stupid enough to fall for that? Whatever the case, the annoying blue thing would likely lead it to a feeble trap, where Fanta must be. The Alicorn took off after the Pegasus, lazily following it from the sky, a smug smirk across its blinding white lips.

Fanta, meanwhile, was in the Ponyville schoolhouse. "Where the blazes is it.. Come on.. Ah!" She picked up a circular cutout. "Perfect."

Feather was not having a good morning. She had not had any tea, the cottage was now a bungalow, and there was a god-like creature with unimaginable power chasing her through the streets of Ponyville. She wondered how the hay she'd got into this mess as she neared the trap location, the sun peeking over the top of the distant mountains.

She ran into the kitchen decor shop, slamming the door behind her.

Above, the Alicorn raised an eyebrow. Was Fanta in there? It charged the magic in its horn, ready to reduce the shop to ground level, when she heard a shout behind her. "Oi! Moony!" The Alicorn whirled around, just in time to see the irritating Pegasus behind it, holding a huge cardboard cut-out of the moon. The Alicorn faltered, something deep and unwelcome inside it stirring. As it was so distracted, it had no way of stopping the 200 miles-per-hour cherry red no-stick base titanium frying pan from making quick, brutal, painful contact with the back of its head.

Author's Note:

Ernagersh finally done.