Chapter 8: Stress And Shenanigans
Chaos slid his tray with a half eaten cookie out of the way. After a lull in their conversation, Celestia had summoned some refreshments to accompany their idle chit chat. At some point, Chaos had found himself going over in greater detail the events that had lead up to their arrival in Equestria. For the most part, the two sisters had remained completely silent as he regaled them with his little tale of woe.
“So... this Bermuda Triangle is a source of mythos for your people?” Luna asked, as her sister munched delicately on a sugar cookie.
“Sort of? The history of disappearing vessels and aircraft in the Triangle is real enough. But, as for the supernatural mumbo jumbo surrounding it...eh...I’m not really sold.”
“Interesting…” Luna said, biting her bottom lip in thought, before shooting Celestia a knowing grin. “Perhaps I judged your theory too harshly, sister. Mayhaps this Triangle operates on a different set of rules than our own world.” Chaos couldn’t help but have his interest piqued.
“Mind filling me in?” Chaos inquired.
Celestia lightly dabbed at the crumbs on her muzzle before folding her napkin to place back on the table, “what Luna just alluded to is my theory on how you came to be here.”
“And that would be?” Chaos said in rapt attention, as he anxiously twiddled his thumbs near his lap in a quest for answers.
“That a natural rift between our worlds opened up long enough to pull your craft through,” Celestia said succinctly before taking a sip of tea.
“That’s it? And what do you mean long enough? You don’t think it’s still there?” Chaos questioned in a slightly deflated tone.
“Doubtful, natural rifts are notoriously unstable.” At Chaos’ mournful sigh Luna continued, “However… Starswirl the Bearded did extensive research into the field of magically generated rifts, or more aptly named portals. He even managed to create an artificial one contained within an old mirror—”
“I thought you told me you couldn’t create portals to other worlds?” Chaos asked unintentionally cutting off Luna.
“I di—” Celestia said before being cut off by an excited Chaos.
“Doesn’t matter, okay, so we just… I’ll send someone through a portal. Let them know we’re alive, and then we can figure out the logistics of retrieving the aircraft afterwards. Break it down if we have to.” In his revelry, Chaos had gotten up from the table and had started pacing.
“Major—”
“This is great! We can rotate Papa back to the states...”
“Maj—”
“...grab a secondary aircraft and Nav, and bam! Mission’s back on track and—”
“MAJOR!” Celestia’s shout was finally enough to break Chaos from his tangent. Chaos’ deer in the headlights look caused Celestia to awkwardly shuffle in place at her outburst, before she politely coughed into her hoof to gather her thoughts. “The mirror was lost to us sometime ago. Not that it would do us any good if it hadn’t. Starswirl disenchanted the mirror a decade before his death; and even if that were not the case, it only lead to one world.” Not giving Chaos a chance to feel dejected, or enter into another tangent, she continued. “His research, however, remains. Not that myself or Luna could ever figure out the magical cipher he used to encode the most important bulk of his research on the matter. But, I believe, I have just the pony in mind who might be able to succeed where we have failed.”
Twilight watched as Pinkie did a cartwheel around the group with an assortment of leftover donuts from their late night trip to Pony Joe’s decorating her legs like doughy bracelets.
“Pinkie darling, as amusing as it is to see you wear confectionary treats like fine jewelry, as a fashionista I simply can not stand how horribly chocolate clashes with your coat.”
“There’s only one chocolate donut, Rare,” Applejack said while chuckling.
“Which is exactly one chocolate donut too many, Applejack,” Rarity huffed.
Deciding to head off an argument, Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes before taking to the skies just in front of the group, “Pinkie, hit me!”
Cocking her head to the side, Pinkie responded, “why would I hit you, silly?” Which elicited a groan from Rainbow Dash before she dragged a hoof down the side of her face.
“Um, I think she was just asking you to toss her a donut,” Fluttershy responded.
“Oooooooo~!” Pinkie said before giggling, “why didn’t you just say so!” Jumping back onto her hind legs, Pinkie licked a hoof before holding it into the air. After a few moments spent in awkward silence, as her friends watched the bizarre ritual; she nodded to herself, before lining up one of her donut laden forelegs with Dash.
“Ugh... Pinkie?” Dash questioned, before a rocketing donut caught her square in the muzzle, and sent her tumbling backward through the air a few times, before she stabilized herself. The display was enough to cause most of the group to chuckle, save for Dash and Twilight, the former being too busy recovering from being hay-makered by a pastry, and the latter who simply raised an eyebrow at Pinkie’s unorthodox ability to hurl confectionary goods at seemingly supersonic speeds.
“One confectionary faux pas averted,” Rarity murmured, before stealing a glance at Pinkie, only to count seven more. Which was exactly two more donuts than she had counted a few moments ago.
Still sputtering and wiping furiously at a few globs of chocolate, Dash touched down onto the cobblestone street. Applejack caught the telltale sign of irritation on Dash’s face, and as soon as Dash’s mouth opened, Applejack decided to step on her hooves.
“Iffin you’ll recall, Rainbow. You asked Pinkie to throw that there donut,” Applejack drawled before lightly popping the brim of her Stetson to reposition it on her noggin.
Rainbow Dash, for her part, instead of not pretending that she was mad a few seconds ago, took to trying to comb the frosting out of her mane, while she muttered just loud enough for the whole group to overhear her make an off colored comment about Pinkie’s freaky super strength. Which elicited a light hearted giggle from almost everypony.
“-angelings,” Spike murmured in his sleep as his claws dug into Twilight’s withers causing her to wince. Using a bit of magic she gingerly loosened his death grip, before giving him a gentle nuzzle that relaxed him in his fitful slumber.
“Poor Spikey-Wikey,” Rarity tittered in concern before looking to Twilight. “How much farther is the estate Princess Celestia offered us to use, Twilight? I imagine Spike, as well as all of us, could use a nice warm bed right about now. Not to mention, I’d like to get these dresses out of our saddlebags before they get too wrinkled.”
“One second,” Twilight said as she summoned the scroll before pouring over the directions. “According to this, we’ve got a few more blocks and we should be there…” Twilight said, before the last line of directions finally clued her in on just exactly whose estate they’d be staying at, causing her to wince before shooting Rarity a nervous smile. “Heh. Heh. Well, let’s get a hoof on girls,” she said hastily rolling up the map.
“So is this our room or isn’t it?” Struggle asked the two guards stationed outside the door. The corridor carried the baritone of his voice in both directions down the sleepy hall. Struggle’s escorts had departed a while after bringing him to his room, and Struggle had been going around in circles with the two guards placed at the entrance ever since.
“It is,” the guard to the left of the door responded.
“Sooo… can I go in now?”
“No,” both guards responded in unison.
“Again, why?”
“Under orders of her Majesty, Princess Celestia—”
“Yeah, I got that the first time. I just want to know why I can’t,” Struggle said, irritation clear in his voice.
“The princesses are in talks with your leader and don’t wish to be disturbed,” the one on the left responded again.
“Okayyy, but the thing is, I have something urgent to discuss with my leader that can’t wait. So, either you can disturb them, or I will.”
Both guards broke their stoic gaze forward to share an uncertain glance with each other before each barely looked back at the door with a grimace. After returning their gaze front and center, the one on the left that Struggle assumed by this point was the defacto guard in charge continued.
“Are you sure it can’t wait?”
“Positive.”
“What could be so pressing that you need to disturb their talks?” The guard in charge asked, with only the slightest ounce of pleading lacing his words.
“Can’t tell ya. It’s for ‘Muh leaders’ ears only.”
Struggle had to bite back a smile when it became apparent they weren’t going to call his bluff. The perk of being aircrew for so long came with the benefit of knowing how to manipulate the rank and file.
“Al.. Alright. One moment, please,” the stallion in charge said before turning around and taking a gulp to steady his nerves. Even though he knew better, the guard was still nervous about going against the princesses’ orders. He put all his concentration into keeping his military bearing, so he wouldn’t seem unsteady when he inevitably had to interrupt them. With nothing else for it, the guard knocked twice, the metal farrier covering his hoof still reverberating as he mechanically dropped his leg back to the floor.
A few moments passed as the three of them waited for one of the occupants within to acknowledge their presence. Shortly after the door shimmered with a golden aura; the three of them heard Princess Celestia break the silence with a short “Enter.”
The guard used his telekinesis to pry open the door, and took a few steps into the doorway, before remembering the human was behind him.
“Wait here, please,” the guard said before Struggle watched him march into the room before the door closed again.
“You guys need to loosen up.”
“With all do respect, sir, it is our duty to protect the princesses, in every capacity that entails. ‘Loose’ is the last thing we need to be.” The remaining guard said with sarcasm laced throughout.
“You’ve got an attitude on you… I like that.”
“You hitting on me, sir?” The guard in front of Struggle responded.
“Oh, so you do know what humor is?” To which the guard simply rolled his eyes.
The banter spent, both lapsed into silence as they waited for the return of the second guard.
About a minute later, the door opened signaling the return of the absent guard, who looked visibly less tense then he had been going in.
“The princesses will allow your presence; you may enter,” he stated before retaking up his position beside the door.
“See? Was that so hard?” Struggle quipped before brazenly walking through the previously barred doorway.
Upon seeing Struggle, Chaos stood up from the table so seriously that Struggle had a hard time maintaining his composure. No doubt he expected some bad news from him. Imagine how relieved he would be when he found out that he didn’t have any news, whatsoever. He almost felt bad as he beelined past him to plop down on the couch a little ways from the table where they were all centered.
“What is it, Struggle? The guard said it was urgent,” Struggle decided not to respond to Chaos as he pulled his backpack off to rummage through its main compartment.
“Oh, right...that. Terribly urgent. Can’t wait,” Struggle replied as he pulled the bottle of Crown Royal from his bag, before giving the bottle a little shake as he shot Chaos his best shit-eating grin. “I urgently need a drink,” he stopped for a moment as he caught a whiff of himself, “and apparently a shower.”
Chaos’ alert stance melted into one of exacerbation as he massaged his temples with one hand. Struggle watched in amusement as he grabbed a glass from the tray on the table next to the couch, before flicking the paper covering off of it. Taking the silence as consent, Struggle started to unscrew the cap.
Finally organizing his thoughts, Chaos managed to get the first thing that solidified in his mind out there. “You lied to their guards? Have you lost your mind?” Struggle seriously seemed to ponder the question as he poured the amber liquid into the glass.
“I wouldn’t call it lying, as much as an exercise in tactical deception. If I was evaluating them, I’d give them poor marks for situational awareness on that front. Besides, I did need to talk with you— if that helps.” Struggle replied, just as he began to choke the flow of the liquor into his glass.
“Struggle, where did you ge—” But before Chaos could finish, Struggle cut him off.
“You must be the other Princess the guards mentioned. A pleasure to meet you.” Struggle said while making a mock cheers to Luna with his glass.
“Charmed, I’m sure,” Luna drawled out dryly. Sensing the waters and realising no one was amused as he seemed to be, Struggle finally decided to switch tracks.
“Alright, so I really did have something serious to discuss,” as he pointed over the rim of the glass at Chaos. “You look like you're dead on your feet, Major. I know how you get when you're stressed, so I didn’t want to leave things up to chance by sticking it out, out there.” Struggle paused to take a swig from the glass.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not stressed.”
“Sure you are. Take a look in the glass over there.” As Struggle indicated the vaulted windows on the far side of the room. Not believing him, Chaos took a hard look at his reflection, the man that stared back at him wasn’t his usually well-kempt self. His blonde hair was wild from the amount of times he’d run his hands through it, and there was a certain weathered crazy look about him that made him exhausted just looking at it.
“...okay, maybe I’m a little stressed, but I’m fine.” Celestia took in the transpiring scene and came to the conclusion she thought Struggle was getting at.
“I think I agree with your crewman, Major. Perhaps we got ahead of ourselves, but we made good progress tonight. It’s been a busy day, and maybe the best thing we can do now, is simply get some rest.”
Chaos closed his eyes before exhaling slowly. He knew they were right, but as exhausted as he was, he still felt wired. Perhaps that was a sign he should have paid attention to earlier.
“As much as it pains me to say it, you're right, Struggle. I need some rest, and god willing a chance to clear my head.”
“I know,” Struggle said with a genuine smile, as he poured another glass. “Just like I’m sure the next thing you’d say is about how hard you’ll re-attack it tomorrow.” The last line actually managing to make Chaos chuckle.
“Well, I think that’s our cue, Luna,” Celestia said, while shooting her sister a expectant look, only to see her sister staring intently at something near Struggle. “Ahem, Luna? Our cue.”
“Yes, yes, go ahead sister…” Luna said, waving off her sister before finally deciding to ask a question she’d earlier held off on. “Kind Struggle, may we perchance try that spirit you have in your possession?”
Struggle was confused, until it clicked, exactly what she was asking for. “Oh, uh, sure, just let me get you a glass princess.”
“Bit early for you, isn’t it sister?”
“Hardly, and as if I’d pass up the chance to say I was the first to try an alien spirit.”
“Fair enough. Goodnight Luna.”
As she turned to go Struggle called out to her, causing her to turn slightly. “Sure you don’t want one for the road?”
Celestia chuckled before responding, “bit past happy hour for me, thank you though.”
Struggle had taken a shower and was settling into the couch Chaos had told him would be his in the interim, when he heard a knock from the Major’s adjoined room. “-ome in,” he called.
Slightly cracking the door, Chaos peaked in enough to make eye contact with him, “don’t think you were smooth enough to weasel your way out of talking to me tomorrow. We’re going to discuss where that bottle came from, and about you lying to their guards.”
Struggle simply barked out a short ‘yesh sir,’ before the door closed and he was alone again. His head swimming from the half bottle he’d polished off since the princesses left. With only the thoughts of how he’d hold onto his liquor swirling around his head, he began to nod in and out of consciousness.
Twilight yawned as she stared out from beneath satin sheets of their guest room into the starlight. The room she was in, was shared by her five best friends and Spike. Sleep, however, wasn’t coming as easily to her as it had the rest of them, as she tossed and turned to get comfortable to no avail. Thoughts of the day, and what Celestia had in store for them tomorrow bounced around her head every time she thought she was close to slumber.
Currently, she was thinking about how lucky it was that the ‘double b,’ on the gates hadn’t clued Rarity into whose estate they’d taken refuge for the night, or that Blueblood thankfully had enough estates that he hadn’t chosen to stay in this one.
A yawn broke through the noise of Twilight’s thoughts long enough for her to realize one of her friends was awake.
“Everythin’ okay, Sugarcube? You’ve kept me up for about an hour now.”
“Sorry, AJ,” she whispered back, “just thinking is all.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
Twilight thought about it for a minute, before she thought it was silly.
“It’s alright, AJ, I’m fine.”
“Iffin you say so, Twi. See ya in the mornin,” Applejack whispered, before turning over in her own twin bed to go back to sleep.
The morning, and what that had in store for her was exactly what was keeping her awake. As she finally closed her eyes, she silently prayed that it didn’t involve changelings... or worse still, a test.
👌
if you don’t mind my asking how often will this be updated
I love you.
But seriously, thanks for the update and I hope to be seeing more of this soon. If not, we’ll just have to be patient and wait
well done sir
Just based on the Cover thumbnail, I thought this story would be more like, “Princess Celestia is replaced by an AC-130”. In a similar vein to Fluttershy Gets Replaced By A Sherman Tank
Huzzah!
It probably doesn’t need it, but a comma between ‘use’ and ’Twilight’ might help improve readability
your back cant wait for tbe mane 6 to meet the humans.
He offered the Princess a drink without at least a toast to friendship, if not took the opportunity to make craic and teach her an ancient drinking song or two? Scandalous.
8218471
Needs a comma? Lemme fix that right up...
8218471
I... Celestia you naughty girl...
Honestly had forgotten this story existed.
Glad its updated, want to see more!
Only update, no words
8218601
And there was much rejoicing.
8218310
Well, I did join the nopowrimo for June so... I might get a few more chapters out this month.
8218324
Pssst... I love you too.
8218471
8218601
I’ll fix that, as funny as people possibly misreading that is.
8218524
"What do ye do with a drunken sailor, what do he do with a drunken sailor, what do ye do with a drunken sailor early in th' mornin'?"
8219484
ok
nopowrimo?
8219538
I was thinking Down Among the Dead Men or Martin Said to His Man or The Parting Glass or Here’s a Health to the Company or Turlough og O'Boyle.
Surely Servicemen know Anacreon in Heaven.
Its ok Twilight, its just going to be a test about changlings posing as aliens trying to wed Blueblood.
Where do we see what groups a story is in? I can't find anything with this new layout😭😭😭
I would totally assign shit duty to Struggle for that stunt he pulled. They are in the presence of the leader and he flat out lies to the guards? As the representative of humanity, they need to be on their better than best behavior.
Hope Struggle learns what happens to the boy who cried wolf.
8220373
I'd say you'd be totally in your right to do so, and I'd probably at least pull him off to the side for a bit of a tongue lashing myself. I guess we’ll have to wait to see what Chaos does though.
8220373
Yeah, just once I’d like the characters in these kinds of fics to NOT make an ass of themselves in front of the heads of state of the global superpower of the alien world they are in the process of making first contact with. It’s not hard. You don’t have to be a professional diplomat. Just refrain from doing anything you wouldn’t do while meeting with the president/prime minister/king of any country back on earth
Heh, loved how Luna was all like "Alien booze? Lemme at it!"
Thank God it's broken!!! Xd
Awesome chapter!
MOAR!!!
8221117
I don't have to rebuttal this.... but wth, I'm feeling froggy anyway. Don't take any of this the wrong way, I'm just addressing this now before I get an actual person coming in here that will put me on blast.
You should really do a google search of diplomatic incidents in 2017 to see why professional or not, people will always make asshats out of themselves. Hell, a US attaché just got expelled from New Zealand after getting into a fist fight, and that's not even scratching the surface of all the diplomatic snafus that've happened this year.
Yeah, that's an incredibly presumptive notion based on your world view and values. Do you know how many people there are that would love a shot at telling off a world leader, or worse, with utterly no regards to the ramifications of such an action? A lot, like a lot a lot. Maybe your like 'well they're US military they should have better discipline,' yeah just circle back to that professional remark I made at the top. This story isn't a what would you personally do as an unwitting diplomat in Equestria. It's a what would most likely happen given my experiences with the archetypes of the people I've met in the gunship community. Gunner's like Struggle are a small niche of gruff incredibly anti-authoritarian personalities, great at their job, but unabashedly lacking in any kind of social grace or etiquette. You may not like the cliché, but some clichés are fairly true to life. At least I was self-aware enough of the cliché to avoid him yelling at the princesses, punching them, or god forbid sexually harassing them. Instead I thought it through. I didn't have the princesses react based off the thousand or so years of diplomacy that I imagine would really make what Struggle did either tame to them or simply par for the course. And the only reason I included the cliché is because I hate the cliché as much if not more then you do, and I was going to go the opposite direction in the next chapter and have Chaos police his own rather then the typical non-resolution that most HIE's with this cliché take. And so to my last point, if you really hate the cliché that much, write a HIE fic without it instead of complaining about a rather mild use of the cliché in the first place.
No complaints about this being back. I'm just wishing that I was faster at getting to reading it.
8222201
Really just blasting the cliche in general, and this fic is far far from the worst example of it. I'd be happy with someone at least being in some way called out on it, which kudos to you if that was where you were in fact going with it. Stories with a single HIE making an ass of themselves is one thing (just bad luck that they're really not getting earth's finest representative) but in a small group, I expect somebody among them might care about not screwing up first contact, or at least not causing trouble for the country they are now stuck in.
...I have no idea why Twilight is worried about Rarity realizing they are staying in Blueblood's manor. Those two reconciled early/mid season 2 as seen in her pony every pony should know song when they jointly christened an airship, so it's a non-issue by this point in the timeline.
8253841
Guess I forgot about that. So, now to decide whether or not to replace it and what with.
8254561
Honestly, you don't have to change anything in this chapter at least. It's told from Twilight's perspective and Rarity was alone for most of that trip, so it's entirely possible that some or all of the others don't know they made up.
8218339
Same.
When next AWESOME update?
love the story more please
Just hiatus it you dingus
8650990
Never!
When next AWESOME update?
8651845
Awesome! You gave enough depth and reality (and variety) to human characters as well as to "aliens". Small talk feels... "right" for want of better word.
Do you need perchance some help?
8254561
...but does Twilight know that they buried the hatchet? It wouldn't be the first time that Twilight made a mountain out of a mole hill.
"Life" is a Test ..
And you,. my dear Twilight, are about to fail!