• Member Since 8th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen Wednesday

Rubyfire377


My name is Mark and I am a gamer and a film guy and that's me in a nut shell

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After one of her spa vists with Rarity Fluttershy realises that she doesn't want to be alone anymore. When she confides as much to her friend Rarity promises to help her find love. There is just one problem. Fluttershy already has somepony she likes, but she can't quite bring herself to tell them. After all how do you go about telling your oldest friend that you are madly in love with them?

also featuring Sparity

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )

Once you try to get with a girl and you ultimately end up becoming best friends rather than boyfriend and girlfriend you already know that you've been friendzoned

Good opening

Good opening. I'm keen to see where this goes.

Love potions are for the desperate.

The narrative thread just kind of comes and goes in this chapter. It feels like the story keeps getting sidetracked before it suddenly moves on to a new point, rather than having a definite purpose and mood for each scene that flows smoothly from one to the next.

There's still potential here, but I do wonder if your story could use a little extra planning.

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