Stranded away

by Pillow-pony

Chapter 1 - The name's Peter ! Not Pete ! [Re-written]

Author's Note:

Hello everybody! The first chapter is finally re-written! Hurrah!
Don't worry though. No key elements were harmed in the process. I just corrected the grammar and modified some sentences.

Thank you all for supporting the story so far! You're awesome guys!

The Sun: an everlasting ball of fire where hydrogen atoms constantly fuse together into helium under the incredible pressure and heat. The very aster that allowed Life to blossom on Earth, attracting asteroids and keeping them in orbit, while they agglomerated themselves into a larger entity until a new planet was born. Generating warmth to help the cells survive, grow and evolve into more complex organisms; by producing heat and light to keep the whole fauna and flora alive.

This sun, which had witnessed the beginning of our time, this magnificent globe of blazing light… was currently piercing through my thick curtains and waking me from my slumber.

A small ray from the aster found its way to my left eye, forcing me to groan at the sudden aggression. Putting a hand to cover the side of my face, I moved the covers protectively over my nose in the foolish hope to get away from the terrible light. Unfortunately, the star had no intention of sparing me today, and soon three other rays lit my whole head up.

“Argh….well, fuck you too world!”I sleepily groaned, pushing the covers aside as I rolled on my side to temporarily hide from the light as I cursed again the celestial body in the sky.

My name is Peter. Not Pete, not Pet, not anything, P-E-T-E-R. I don’t know why, one day one of my friends started calling me Pete, and soon everyone I knew only spoke to me using that nickname.

Many people around me, hell even most of my friends could brag about being able to wake up early, and be ready to work in the next thirty minutes. I was not one of those. Since I had to wake up nearly every morning at 6:00 to go to college during week, the only days I could sleep in were the Sundays – I would work on Saturdays to earn a little money.

I sat up on the edges of my bed, rubbing the sleep off of my face with a hand, letting out a mighty yawn as I stretched my arms, a popping noise accompanied by a small spike of pain rising in my right shoulder as I did so. I hate mornings! I groaned as I tried to move the sore arm a bit to help lessen the cramp that was starting to make itself known. Looking longingly at my warm bed one last time, I sighed and got up.

I walked clumsily to my closet to grab my clothes for today, managing to hit my pinkie toe against one of the legs of my bed in the process – did I say that I hate mornings? I dropped said clothes on my bed before going to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

As I gathered the dishes and the ingredients for my tea, another ray of light found its way toward my right eye, causing me to grunt in annoyance. Looking at the source of the offending ray, I spied a photograph on the counter. On the picture were three persons, two adults and a child. All were laughing, the young boy proudly handling a small fish at the end of his fishing rod despite the fact that he was completely soaked.

I found myself smiling remembering the day when, trying to catch it, I fell into the lake. My dad managed to grab me, with the fish this time. We all ended up laughing after a few remarks and jokes from him. We were still in France the day this picture was taken. I think we left for the United States when I was around 10.

My smile faded a bit. Already two months had passed since the last time I saw any of them. It was the main problem of studying in specialized universities: there were only a few colleges in a 250 km radius, and the nearest was 200 km from home. It was only during vacation that I could pay a visit to my parents, and my little sister. I chuckled to myself as I thought about Kate: a very – if not overly– dynamic 15 year-old teenager with long chestnut hair, brown eyes, a gentle smile always adorning her face. The mere memory of taking her in my arms was enough to bring the smile back full force. Fortunately, the summer holidays were only a couple of weeks away. Then, I –

The whistling of the kettle stopped my train of thoughts. I ate my breakfast: sugar-filled crepes, an apple and my mug of green tea – which I nearly fell into, dozing off a bit. My stomach filled, I cleaned the dishes and walked towards the bathroom to take a nice, hot shower and hopefully not fall asleep under the warm temperature.

An hour later, I was clean, my beard nicely trimmed, and dressed. Time to start a slow and nice Sunday morning! Pick an apple from the fridge, a can of Coke from the fridge…*Grmbl!!*…..Go the nearest shop, buy a pack of cans, and then drink one. Reluctantly, I picked up my keys, my phone and my coat, carefully locking the door behind me before heading out.

As I stepped outside, I found myself assaulted by the pleasant smell of nearby trees, enhanced by the summer atmosphere, along with the much less pleasant smells of fuels and dog urine. I wrinkled my nose while crossing the road: I can’t wait to spend my vacation far, far away from this place. If it wasn’t for the fact that this town was housing one of the rare universities where I could study aerospace, I would never have chosen to live even remotely near this city. Only two weeks left, including one during which I had to go the university. At least, during the last one, I could celebrate the end of my year and my graduation with my friends, before being able to see my family. Makes me think, I should buy some drinks for dad since he loves the beer they make here. Oh, and by the way I should probably try to buy—

“Pete!” a voice shouted behind me, as a hand slammed against my shoulder blade.

“Aaaah!!!!”A girl screamed near me as I turned to see who assaulted me. Instead of finding some terrible fiend ready to jump at my throat knife first, I found one of best friends laughing his ass off.

“Wow Pete! I didn't know you could go that high in octaves!” He laughed, clutching his sides. I paid him no mind, trying to find the quickest way to disappear from the surface of the Earth.

“H-hey John. How are you?” I asked, trying to hide my shame as hard as I could. His smirk never left his face as he stood up.

“Quite well, thank you. I was going to head to your flat, but since I saw you out here I just changed my mind.”'And decided to scare the shit out of me, you bastard'. I glared at him. He must have noticed it, considering his now ear-to-ear smile.

“As much as I like it when you try to reduce my life expectancy on a nice Sunday morning, might I know the reason why you came so early from your place to talk to me?” Immediately the grin plastered on my friend’s face disappeared, replaced by an embarrassed grin. I suddenly grew very worried of what John had to say.

“Well,” he started, trying to look at everything that was not me, deciding to finally set his eyes on a shop on my right. “You know when you said that each of us would offer a present to Grace for her 24th birthday tonight?”

“Yeeah…?”The shop to my right must have been really captivating. I would have looked in the same direction had I not been dreading the answer he was about to say so much.

“Weeelll, you see...I had very busy month, trying to finish my final exams..." 'getting drunk with friends' I mentally added, "so I might have…forgotten to buy hers... hehe…”If it wasn’t only for the fact that he forgot the present, it might have been the lame chuckle he gave at the end of his sentence that set me off.

“What?! You haven't gotten a present for her yet?! It was your job, to think about presents while I would do the rest! Why didn’t you ask us sooner?! Now we won’t have the time to correct you mistake!” I hissed, careful to express my thoughts while not alarming the people around us.

While it might have been a little unfair from me to be yelling at him like that, I was still a little tiny bit pissed about the earlier scare he gave me, for one does not simply walk into Mordor and shatter my pride without dire consequences. At least, he had the decency to look – slightly – ashamed. Knowing I would never be able to have a properly formulated excuse coming from his mouth, I sighed.

“Well, I guess we’ll think of something on the way.” I motioned for him to follow me, as we idly walked in the streets. John stayed silent for some time. As we crossed another street, he turned to look at me.

“Sooo…I have no clues as to what she likes”. John started. I stared at him in disbelief. Really?! I mean, we have decided to do the present offering months ago! How could he not have asked one of us at least once about that?!

“Well, I know that she likes my little pony a lot, if the couple nights we spent with her friends talking about it are anything to go by.” I smiled, remembering one time when we were arguing about pinkie pie’s capacity to break the fourth wall.

“My little pony… Like the show?” I nodded. “Really? I didn’t know she was still into this”.His thoughtful expression quickly turned into a teasing one as he smirked at me.

“So, you’re fond of it too huh?” I really did not like at all where this was going. His smile widened as I nodded again. I was about to voice my opinion when he raised his hands in a placating gesture.

“Oh, come on! I'm joking! You know I don’t question what my friends like”. He patted me on the shoulder. “Even if it's a show for little girls” he added slyly. I groaned.

“I'll have you know, the fanbase around it is mostly constituted by people between 10 and 35 years old!”

“Oh yeah! Those guys and their ridiculous pony cosplays.”As much as I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, I couldn’t disagree with him on that point: some of their costumes were monstrous.

I grumbled as my shoulders sagged. I knew I couldn’t reason him once he started on a subject, so I just sighed in defeat. I felt a hand on my right shoulder. Looking up at John, I saw his smirk melt into a more sincere smile.

“Ugh, come on Pete!” – I definitely hate him when he calls me with that nickname – “You’re so easy to tease! Relax!” I looked away with a small pout so he would think he vexed me, but more importantly so he wouldn’t see the smile that has crept its way onto my face. After all, I couldn’t expect less from John. He is what he is, and even if some of the jokes he tells – most of them – weren’t that funny, he still is my friend and—

“So, wanna talk about your homosexuality?”

“……..Fuck you John.”

“I love you too Pete.”

We resumed our walk down the street heading towards a specialized store. I knew them for some time, as they were the only one in town who were selling vinyl mlp figures. I was overjoyed when I first found it two day after I moved in, and immediately bought Discord and Derpy’s figures.

I talked John into coming with me into that store so we could chose something for Grace. As we arrived in front of the store, I saw a fimliar shape sitting on a chair in front of the shop. I instantly recognized the old man who was in charge of the boutique. He was a very kind and caring middle aged man, even if, due to his numerous years in the military, he looked more like a cross between ol’ Santa Claus and Sylvester Stallone. Every time I would come, he would be sitting on his plastic chair outside, relishing the sweet and warm summer air. Once again, the man was slumped in his recliner, his short grey hair partially hidden by his hat.

“Hey Mr. Brown!” I waved to him. Hearing someone calling his name, he took off his hat which was covering his eyes, and looked at the source of the call. When he saw us, he smiled and stood up.

“Peter! How are you doing?” he asked with his deep voice as he walked the rest of the way toward us. “And who’s your friend? I don’t think I ever saw you around here boy.” By instinct I looked back at John, and saw him unable to say something coherent. I couldn’t suppress a chuckle, remembering having been in a similar state when I first met him. Saving him a long awkward moment, I stepped in.

“Mr. Brown, please meet John, my best friend.” I said turning to him. “John, meet Mr. Brown.” This seemed to snap him out of his trance as he blinked.

“Well, a pleasure to meet ya!” He said extending his hand and shaking John's. He then looked at me. “So, what brings you here?”

“We were looking for a gift for a friend. Maybe a limited edition figurine?”.

The tall man scratched his chin, seeming to be deep in though. He made a silent motion with his fingers as if reviewing a list. Then, his eyes lit up with realization, and he snapped his fingers.

“Aha!” He exclaimed. “I might have something for your friend! Follow me !” He said excitedly as he walked back in the shop with us behind. As we walked inside, I couldn’t help but smile at all the mlp-related products from books to complete costumes, comic books and so on.

John snorted bemusedly looking at my expression. The shopkeeper told us to wait for him while he was gone in another room for a few minutes, which I spent looking around by curiosity. John stood at the same place, clearly not happy to be surrounded by so much pink and ponies. He never outright hated my little pony, nor disapproved the bronies. He simply never understood the appeal that this show represents for its fans, and therefore was uncomfortable being in the middle of all this pony stuff.

I was interrupted in my musings by the footsteps of Mr. Brown, who was proudly carrying a one feet long box in front of him. He then cautiously set the thing on the desk, and began unpacking it. Before revealing it to us, he stopped and beckoned.

“I just got the thing yesterday.” He whispered. “They said it's a limited edition. I was lucky enough to have it before the others could take it away. Behold…” He whispered, a little bit too theatrical for Johnson's tastes as he rolled his eyes. I couldn't help but wonder what could require such care. The answer came as he finished unrolling the thing.

“Replicas of Princess Celestia’s tiara and necklace?” I said, looking at the pack. I didn’t see what was so important about it: tons of these were produced ever since the show started to gain popularity. The disbelieving tone of my question didn’t falter the smugness of the man, since he puffed his chest.

“I know what you’re thinking. But look closely on the side of the crown”. He pointed. Upon closer inspection, a hallmark could be seen on the side of the coronet, with the letter MLP-O. My breath was caught in my throat. John seemed unfazed by the revelation. It couldn’t be…

“It is indeed THE mark of the show, the letter O standing for ‘original.’ The smile Mr. Brown was wearing was threatening to cut his head in half. “There were few of them, fifty if I remember correctly. ”Finally able to manage some words, but not looking elsewhere, I asked what any sapient being would ask when seeing a crown made of plastic with a trademark on its side.

“How much?” John facepalmed. I looked at the man to see an amused expression on his face. “Well, you’ve been quite the customer for at least five years now. I don’t get many visitors you know? And since you want to offer it to a friend and not for yourself, let’s say about… twenty bucks? What do you think?” He looked at me with a knowing smile, surely expecting an outburst; which happened.

“What?! You wanna sell me this for only twenty dollars?! I don’t know how much you paid for it, but it MUST be much more than that!” He chuckled at my antics.

“Kid… I already have a lot of income from my thirty years of loyal duty in the military.” He patted my shoulder –which seemed more like a hammer blow to me – laughing all the while. “I don’t do cards or some discount crap for my best customers, so take it in compensation for all the sales I could have done.” He said with finality. Sighing, I smiled and thanked him, before paying and leaving the boutique.

We walked back to my apartment, making a stop at the nearest grocery first to buy what I needed.

While John took the liberty to start watching TV on the sofa, I got back to my room where I packed the gift and placed it in one of the drawers of my end table. Yep, I was definitely looking forward to give the present, which could only be awesome considering her tastes. I hoped my other gift would not be too bad compared to the one I just bought. But after all, I was sure both would be to her liking since both of them were related to –

“My little pony, I used to wonder what friendship could be…” The song started in the other room.

“Hey man! Your gay show’s about to start!” John chuckled from the sofa. I slowly got up from my bed, and stood in the opening, so my friend would see me looking at him with the best faux-hardened glare I could manage. After a few seconds of intense looking without blinking, we both erupted in an echoing laughter.

Time passed and eventually, John had to get back to prepare for tonight, leaving me to my thoughts.

“So…” I read out loud. “Beer…checked! Food…John is bringing the snacks and the bacon—No parties should exist without bacon! Bacon is life!—…checked! Get a present for Grace...Well, John should have, but…*sigh*… anyway, checked!”

I looked at the rest of the checklist. Most of it was about decoration and preparing the room we booked for the occasion but it was Greg’s role to do that. And just like that, my brain thought it would be an excellent idea to add to my stress by showing me images of my friend failing miserably at his task; ending up with a room looking like it has been used for a film of Michael Bay.

“No!” I mentally scowled. “I will not check up on him brain! I know him, and I know he is more than able to do his part!” I would not fall so low and doubt of one of my best friends! I know He will succeed and I know that—

Faster than the eye can see, I grabbed the phone and dialed my friend’s number.

After a few seconds, I heard the tonality stop and soon being replaced by a very familiar voice.

“Hello?” Now, I thought, I have to subtly ask him about the progress of his work, but I must be careful to not raise any suspicions from my friend.

“Umm…oh hi Greg! It’s Peter!” I said, still trying to find a proper way to inquire about the Party.

“Hi Pete!”Oh come on?! He uses that nickname too now?! “So, why did you call me man?”

“Oh, well you know, checking up on you and all that stuff…hehe….” What?! That is all I could come up with?! That is lame! I am lame! Well, now let’s try at least to salvage the already fucked up situation.

“On a totally unrelated note, how’s the preparation going?” I blurted out. Realizing what I just said, my left eye twitched. I stared blankly at the wall in front of me, before slamming my head down on the wooden furniture housing the phone in a resonating *bonk!*.

“Hey! I heard something heavy fall! You alright?!”Ignoring the fact he unintentionally called me fat and the throbbing pain in my forehead, I blearily looked around for the voice before remembering that Greg was still talking to me via my phone.

“Don’t worry, nothing important…” I said, rubbing my head—I doubted there was anything worthy in it anyway, considering the poor excuses I made not so long before. However, the reason of my call suddenly came back to me. “So… about the party? Everything‘s ready?”I asked. What? Might as well asking him directly now.

“The party?” My eyes widened in horror. Oh God, don’t tell me he forgot about that! “Oh, you mean the decoration and all?” I tensed a little more, if it was even possible considering my current state of mind. “Well, I just have finished putting on the streamers, I will have to hang the banner and we’ll be good to go.” I couldn’t help the relieved sigh that escaped my mouth and slumped on my chair after hearing the wonderful news.

“Thank you, that was all I needed to know… So, see you at the party right?”

“Yep man, see you!” I hurriedly hung the phone—smooth move, Peter. It won't appear suspicious at all—and went to the bathroom to prepare myself for the night.

Two hours later, I was ready to go: I was clean, put some deodorant on me, and my beard was trimmed.

Verifying one last time everything was okay, I sighed and was on my way to open the door when my phone rang. I grunted in annoyance.
“Oh come on it’s not the time for…” I trailed off looking at the number on the screen. I immediately took the device at put it against my ear before asking in the most casual voice I could muster.

“Hello Grace?”

“Hello Pete?” God dammit! Not you too Grace! “I just wanted to know, could you pick me up at the university? My car won’t work…”My temporary anger immediately vanished as I heard the last part of her sentence. It took all my willpower to not repeatedly scream ‘YES’ and run towards my car , so I just settled for a fist-pump.

“Yes, of course Grace.” I answered calmly— for the first time of the day—despite my inner happiness. “I will pick you up around…” I looked at my watch, and then did a quick calculation. “Does 9 pm sound good for you?” I heard an affirmative hum from her, certainly followed by a nod. Unfortunately I could not see, so I waited for her to vocally reply to my question.

“Yep! See you tonight then!” She said.

“See you!” I replied. I waited for her to hang the phone. As soon as she did, I dropped my phone on a nearby chest drawer and screamed—no, wait, there are neighbors! Well, I suppose a big ‘YAY’ could do the trick.

“Yay.” Well…not as fulfilling as a real scream, but it will suffice for now. I knew it was not a date, or anything like that; I was just happy to help a friend in need. Anyone would do the same thing. Nobody would go and think that I was only doing this because I loved her...“A-As a friend!” I mentally added. I was definitely not in love, and I could prove it any time. Maybe I should kiss her. A deep passionate kiss on the lips. That way, I would show that I had absolutely no feelings for her. Maybe I should kiss several times, just to make sure.

My train of thoughts was interrupted by a ringing sound coming from the phone. Again?! It must be the first time in my life I had two calls in less than a minute! The only times I received calls were due to: 1/ one of my friends needing help, or much more dreadful, 2/ my bank calling. You can imagine my surprise when I saw who was calling.

“Kate?!” I said, recognizing the number from the very few times I saw it. I was surprised she even remembered my own number considering our less than frequent use of this way of communication.

“Peter?” My sister's voice asked. I answered positively. “What’s the matter Kate; you never call me on my personal phone.” Or even my landline phone. I would certainly have been a lot more anxious if my sister wasn’t giggling all the while.

“You know what bro’?” She tried to maintain the suspense, but apparently was too much excited to be able to last more than a moment, as she quickly added. “Mum and dad are going with some friends for the night and will only come back around one or two in the morning!” I could sense her giddiness radiating from here. If getting sick from exposure to massive emotional radiation was possible, I would have been long ago with my sister’s energy.

“So, what’s the point? They’ll be gone for the night…and?” I asked, definitely not getting the point Kate was trying to bring up. She facepalmed.
“Really? Our parents will be gone all evening! You know what that means…” She said, letting her voice trail off, obviously wanting me to fill the gap with the answer…No, she couldn't mean...

“Um…”I started, unsure on how I should say it. “I think…I…I mean…I don’t want to know what you and your boyfriend are going to do…Just…use condoms ok?” This seemed to surprise her greatly, as she stuttered for the following minute. After taking a shaky deep breath, she managed to snap out of it and replied.

“wha...I-I! N-no! I…I didn’t mean that! I didn’t mean that at all!!” I could not see her face, but I could easily guess from the tone that she was blushing furiously. Well, it was not intentional in anyway, however, being the incredibly considerate big brother that I was, hearing her trip over her words inevitably brought an ear-to-ear smile to my face. As I did my best not to let the barely suppressed laugh escape my lips, I heard her continuing to try to explain what the real meaning of her sentence was.

“When I said mom and dad wouldn’t be here all night, I wasn’t referring to...T-THAT!” She sighed. “If I mentioned that to you, it was maybe because you could surprise them?” Surprising them? How? I mean, yes, I could, but it is quite hard to do anything when you’re 150 miles away. I mean, it’s not like I…could…be there…OH. Oooooh!

“Kate, did I tell you I loved you?”

“Not enough, but I'll survive” She answered. “So, you’ll be able to go? It would be a blast to see you there, but if you have anything planned, I don’t want you to cancel, alright?”

“Nah, don’t worry, I’ll come. But since I must attend to a party, I’ll probably leave around…midnight something if I hurry, so don’t expect me before at least two in the morn. Hopefully, I’ll arrive before mom and dad. Was that all you wanted to tell me?”

“Yep! Oh, that’s gonna be so fun once you’re there! I can’t wait! See ya there!” I hung the phone. I didn't have anything planned for the oncoming week, and I could directly go to my house and prepare after the party. The more I thought about this, the more I had to refrain from smiling dumbly at the idea of surprising my parents and spending more time with my family. Not to mention that this would give me more time to pester my sister about her new boyfriend.

I still had a few hours before I had to go and pick up Grace. What could I do until then? My gaze shifted between different objects, but none of them seemed to catch my attention. Ultimately, my eyes fell onto my desk; more precisely on my computer. As I locked my eyes on the metallic box, I found myself unable to look anywhere else. My feet started to walk on their own accord towards the wooden furniture. I could not stop myself, my mind filled with all the possibilities this hardware had to offer. Finally coming to a stop, I turned my computer on.

After approximately two hours of an intense and epic session of Battlefield—by intense, I meant me getting repeatedly non-scoped by some XxX-Awesomedude79864-LoL-XxX and by epic, I meant me rage quitting after the 15th time—I decided that I could use a break, and started browsing You Tube for new videos. After some time, I closed the internet browser and looked at the clock hanging from the adjacent wall, and instantly regretted it. My eyes widened as I read the greenish numbers on the device. The clock read 8.49.pm. I stood still as my shocked mind tried to come to terms with what I was seeing. When it did, I jumped out of the chair I was on and dashed for the exit.

“Shit!” I quickly grabbed my coat, my bag and the present I stored in. I had only ten minutes to grab my car and pick up Grace at the campus. I could only hope that no police officers were out today; if I wanted to be on time, I'd have to break speed limitations.

I ran down the stairs and looked for my car in the street. Of course, Murphy’s Law seemed awfully active today, as I was not able to sight my machine. Finally, I managed to find my car, just behind a truck. I threw my bag on the passenger seat, started the engine, and rode full speed towards the university.

“So…Right turn, then left…” I thought out loud—Yes, I talk to myself. Don’t judge me. I’m not weird! You're weird! “Dodge the cyclists…Dodge the old woman…where did this bucket come from?!...WHY IS THERE A PIANO ON THE ROAD?!!........”

I finally made it to the meeting point. After dusting some wood splinters off of the car bumpers, I looked around to spot my friend. My nervousness spiked when I couldn’t find her. I looked at my watch: 8.59. I was on time, yet no trace of Grace on the campus. Having the most rational mind of the world, I calmly stated the possibilities of the absence of Grace in my head. 'Alright. she’s not here. What could have slowed her? Maybe a last minute problem. Maybe her parents needed her and it would have taken more time than planned. Of course, it had to be that! ...Or aliens.'

Before my mind had more time to suggest more scenarios, the sound of approaching footsteps snapped me out of my train of thought. I turned around to face the newcomer, to find myself looking at the familiar silhouette of my friend. She was wearing a simple dark dress, which was stopping just under her knees, completed by a thin brown coat hastily dropped on her shoulders. Her usually long kept hair was tied in a pony tail, her dark brown hair glistening in the moonlight. She was not wearing any kind of makeup—not that she needed it to be beautiful. She was one of the only girls I knew that managed to look elegant without having to put for hundreds of dollars worth of makeup on her. A kind smile adorned her face, well complementing her features.

“Peter…Are…are you alright?”She asked. Huh? I suddenly realized that I had been staring at her the whole time. I quickly—though much too late—averted my eyes as a light blush appeared on my cheeks. I heard a chuckle emanating from Grace.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”I heard her laugh. I looked at her to see her smile once again, triggering one of my own as I gave in a chuckle too. “You look beautiful tonight.” I said, trying to speak my mind rather than have my body do it for me. No, I did not mean it that way! You miscreants!

Once our mutual greetings were exchanged, I beckoned her to follow me and let her in the car. We both took our seat and buckled our seat belts before I started the engine and drove away from the wretched place known as university.

The lights of the lamp posts were flashing as the car was passing them. There were not many people out there since this was a little town. Only a few cars were following us, as the same lamp post lights were reflected by my rearview mirror. I adjusted it a bit as a habit just in time to catch a glimpse of Grace giving me the once over. For a second, the reflection of her eyes met mine, before widening slightly and looking away.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”I said in a snicker. There was a moment of silence before we erupted into a full blown laughter. I looked at my friend who was currently holding her sides, a small tear slowly rolling down her cheek as her laughter refused to die down. She really was beautiful, even more now that her features were softened by the joke. I looked away just in time to see the place where we needed to go appear 50 meters away.

---

“Here we are!”I said as I stepped outside, opening the passenger door.

“My my, what a gentleman” Grace joked as she stepped out of the car. I looked at the building where the gathering was being held; not very special, save for its darker color than the rest. I held the door for my friend to enter, and followed her inside.

The place was some sort of inn, which was, from lack of use, generally booked for parties or get-together. The interior was essentially made of wood and stone, which gave the whole place a feeling of heat and of familiarity. There was a brick fireplace in the right corner of the room, however I could tell from the dust—which had begun fossilizing in the stone—that it hasn’t been used in eons. Some tables had been arranged to form one enormous stage in the middle of the room, which strangely reminded me of what the round table of Camelot could have looked like. Lots of different plates and drinks had already been placed on it, while all the presents were gathered on the side in a gigantic pile of various shapes, sizes and colors.

Looking at Grace, I saw she was talking with John. He briefly looked at me and motioned to the pile. Nodding to him, in a swift motion, I quickly walked to the table, opened my bag and dropped my own presents in the pile. I retreated from the glorious stack to my friends. I joined John as he was sipping on his drink.

“How you doing man?” I sat near him at the table. He looked up from the glass and grinned at me.

“I’m good, thanks, but I know a little someone who's doing even better…” He let his voice trail off a bit as he wiggled his eyebrows. Huh? Seeing his jab was lost on me, he sighed and pointed at Grace, who was now laughing with some of her friends. “Come on man, you drove Grace here, and you're the one who thought about the party! You can’t tell me you don’t have the hots for this girl.”

I couldn’t help but look in the direction of my friend, blushing a bit as I did so. John took this as a confirmation. “So, are you planning to… you know, take her home? hint hint” He said wiggling his eyebrows even more vigorously. I felt my jaw drop at the obvious implications in his sentence.

“Wha-bu-but…No! I’m not this type of guy! I did not do all this just to…you know!” I wonder if one can die due to having all of his blood stuck in his cheeks. At the moment though, I just wanted to disappear from the surface of the Earth. As soon as the though came to my mind, I felt something deep within me change. It felt as if my insides were transforming. As if the world was shaping me into something new. What was happeni—?!

My stomach emitted a loud rumble. Oh. On my right, John was trying stifle his laughter as my already red cheeks reddened even more—if this continues I will need transfusions. Huffing, I walked towards the snacks on the table, only to be stopped by a hand on my shoulder. My eyes narrowed. No one dares to put themselves between my food and me! I turned around to look at the offender, only to freeze as I recognized the figure I was facing.

“Oh h-hi Grace! D-do you like the party so far?” I asked as naturally as I could, all the while fighting my brain yelling at me that she was much too close to my face. She had a smile I had never seen while talking to me. It was smaller, but it seemed to have more emotions in it.

“So…I heard it was your idea to organize this whole meeting?” She asked quietly, her eyes locked in mine, bringing a feeling of warmth yet a bit of confusion from me. How could she know about me being the one organizing the whole thing? I told nobody save for two friends and……John… I looked where I last saw my friend, to see him looking at me with a knowing grin and with both his thumbs up. One of these days John… Anyway, not wanting to leave Grace hanging, I softly nodded, which brought an even brighter smile. She thanked me before going back talking to her friends, but not without letting her hand linger on my own and looking at me one more time, her soft smile still adorning her radiant visage.

I stood there a full minute, my mind trying to process what I had just seen, and finally concluded with a gigantic 'whu?'. I snapped back into reality as a thunderous laugh echoed by my right shoulder. I turned around to see John crouching and holding his side, eyes scrunched shut, as he was desperately trying to breathe between is fits. I let him finish and waited for him to calm down as he stood up. He then looked at me with one of his smug smiles I hated so much.

“So?” He asked.

“So what?”

“You know exactly what I talking about.” His face contorted to take a vacant expression, his mouth slightly opened. “Oh my god, she held my hand with hers! Ohhhh” He caricatured, holding his cheeks with his hands. Seeing me roll my eyes, he stopped and took a more serious air—something quite rare knowing him. “Oh come, admit it Pete! You’re in love! It's obvious! Say it once, and you’ll feel much better afterwards.”

I took him to a less frequented part of the inn. When we were out of possible eavesdropping, I sighed. “Is it that—

“Yes.” He cut me nodding dramatically. “It is so obvious that it hurts! Come on man, what are you waiting for?! Tell her you love her and be done with it!”

“It’s not that simple!”

“Yes it is! You go, tell her how you feel, and she either tells you she loves you or to go fuck yourself!” Of course, when you say it like that…I looked at the ceiling.

“I Know, it’s just...”

“You’re scared that she could dump you.” john concluded.

“No! Of course not!……*sigh*…yes…yes, I'm afraid she could. It’s just… I’ve known her for the last five years, we shared so much, and yet…I'm not sure she likes me as much as I love her. I am afraid that by declaring myself I would not only risk to be dumped, but also to lose one of my best friends.” I looked at John. “I…I don’t want to lose her!”

I felt a hand on my shoulder. “I know it can be difficult, but if you don’t ask her, you will never be in peace with yourself. It'll eat you Pete… But whatever the ending is, I'm here for you.” I looked up at him and weakly chuckled.

“Who are you and what have you done to my friend?” I said, causing a false-indignant Hey! from John. I smiled at him as I bro-fisted with him.

“Thank you man.”

“That’s what friends are for.” He said. I started to walk away as he added “You know, you don’t have to do that to prove your heterosexuality. We both know which way your door swings” He smirked.

“Fuck you John.”He laughed.

“That’s the Pete I know! Good luck!” He said before going back to the bar. I laughed. Under his slight jerkiness hides a caring and kind friend, something John would never admit. I walked back to my own spot at the table, just in time to see that a crowd has formed around Grace. I approached to see she was starting to unwrap her presents. Some were quite interesting, some a bit weird, and some of them really had no reason to be here. I mean, really, someone seriously offered her gardening tools! Her home doesn’t even have a garden for goodness ‘sake! It’s just as if someone had taken all the lamest present ideas and decided to draw lots to see which would be chosen. Fortunately for Grace, most of the present were quite decent, some were even quite cool.

In the end, she came upon my present. Her brows furrowed at the weird shape of the package, but she quickly recovered and began unwrapping it too. When the paper was gone, she started to tear the bubble wrap and gasped when she peaked inside. Oh god she doesn’t like it. Before my mind could start to shout in despair, I heard a chair being pulled, followed by hurried footsteps.

I turned to look at the source of the noise just to be assaulted by a pair of arms that quickly ensnared my chest and back. I looked at the aggressor to see Grace, a gigantic smile on her face, holding in one hand Celestia’s necklace, the tiara already placed on the top of her head. After a few seconds—way too short in my opinion—she ‘freed’ me and placed my present with the others. I stood frozen for a full minute, before a goofy smile spread on my face as I stared at nothing in particular, my brain having stopped recording after the hug.

The party went on for several hours, yet ultimately, we had to call it a night. People started to leave the building to the point where only Grace and I were left. John had stayed with us to help clean up the place and stuff all the presents in my car’s trunk. Finally Grace and I left the building too, only to be greeted by the cold early morning air. We entered the car and drove away to her place.

If there was nearly nobody on the streets before, right now, our little city could have easily looked like a phantom town. A deep silence covered the roads, only broken by the lonely sound of my own car. A yawn escaped my mouth, to which Grace giggled, only to let out a yawn of her own. We looked at each other before sleepily chuckling.

The moon was already starting to lower towards the horizon when we arrived at her place. The house she was living in was a two-stories building her parents owned. Grace never liked to brag about that. She always chose to do everything herself rather than rely on her parents’ fortune to go forward in life—something I find admirable. We both got out of the car and went to the entrance of her home.

An awkward silence was beginning to settle in as we waited for the other to say something. I finally gathered the strength to break the ice.

“Well...T-the party was much better than I expected. I'm glad everyone could be there tonight.” Looking at my friend, I saw her frowning, seemingly lost in thoughts.

“Did you enjoy yourself as well?” I asked. She snapped out of whatever she was thinking about and locked her eyes into mine. She looked away, biting her lip.

“What...What's wrong?” I asked, concern rising in my mind. She looked at me, her frown replaced by a sly smile; she threw her arms around me and forcefully pushed her lips against my own, nearly causing me to fall in the process. My eyes widened as her tongue pushed against the entrance of my mouth. Still in a daze, I opened it to let the very welcome presence in. All seemed to fade around us as we kissed. No more did the cold make me shiver, nor did the time matter to me.

After what seemed an eternity of bliss to me, we broke the kiss and separated from each other. I slowly opened my eyes, afraid that doing so would wake me up from what could only be a dream. As soon as the sight came back to me, I found myself staring into two blue pools. Grace was smiling at me, a large blush on her face.

“We…”I started. “We definitely need to do that more often.” I added, causing her to giggle. She nodded enthusiastically.
“Indeed we do. I…I… Peter, would…Do you want to be my…”She started, her blush intensifying. She looked away. “I'd understand if it was too sudden to decide." She stopped, looking back at me for confirmation.

All this information at the same time overwhelmed my peanut-sized brain, which had to reboot at some point, living me speechless. My lack of answer was definitely misinterpreted as I heard a choked sob coming from Grace. I tried to speak, but the damage was done. She looked away, wiping her eyes.

“I…I understand.”She said, turning on her heels.“ I…I—“ I did not let her finish. I grabbed her before she could walk away, eliciting a small surprised gasp from her. “W-Wha—“ I turned her around so she could face me and kissed her with all the passion I could muster. After a few seconds, we stopped and looked at each other. Even with her tear stricken face, I could see a glimmer of hope shining in her eyes.

“Does this answer your question?” I asked softly. She bit on her bottom lip which had started quivering, before jumping into my arms, crying softly. I hugged her even harder. “I love you Grace. I love you with all my heart. I just wish I had the guts to tell you sooner.” She did not answer, instead just tightened the hug. Moments later, I let her go, smiling fondly at her. She finished wiping her eyes and then looked up at me, shooting me a smile on her own.

“Well, Thanks for the party, and the presents! They're awesome!” She exclaimed while taking the re-wrapped replicas from her bag and holding them against her chest. I chuckled at the sight. She walked to the door, before turning towards me. “I'd leave you my phone number, but since you have already it ” She giggled as she turned the keys into the lock, and opened the door. “Oh. I nearly forgot. Peter?” She said , and just as I was about to question why, she kissed me again. “A bit for your thoughts” she laughed before quietly closing the door.

I stood in the open for a certain amount of time speechless. Suddenly, the events of today came back rushing to me: The party, John, Grace… “Grace” I thought. I couldn’t believe it! For almost two years I tried to tell her how I feel! ...I should have organized a party much sooner!

I walked back to my car, my mind still dizzy from the entire evening. The whole travelling back to my home passed in a daze, the lights of the street lamps blazing past my windows as I drove the way I came. Upon reaching my apartment, I couldn’t help but hum a song of my composition—A symphony of Hell that only deaf people could possibly appreciate.

I opened the door, hastily dropped my bag on the table in the living room before plopping into the sofa. I let a sigh and closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of calm my flat was engulfed in. I was about to fall asleep when I remembered with a start that I had to get ready for the travel. My eyes shot open as I bolted upright. I ran towards my bedroom, rushing to get the stuff I needed together. before going back to the kitchen with a full suitcase.

I was about to close the plastic container when an abrupt discomfort in my ribcage forced me to stop and grab my chest as my breathing became ragged. What did I do to provoke this? I never had any cardiac problem in the past, so why in hell was my heartbeat going crazy?! My eyes widened as my pulse increased along with a sudden spike of pain, forcing me to sit down as black dots appeared in my vision. A numbing cold was beginning to envelop my body, all sensations slowly fading away.

My mind was slowly slipping away. In my foggy mind, the idea of calling for help still managed to pop up. I inhaled for a few seconds, and then tried to release a scream loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Unfortunately for me, this was also the moment pain wanted some more attention and increased tenfold, cutting my breath off as I fell on the floor, writhing in agony. My vision was tunneling, the last sight I caught being the picture atop of the counter.

The world was consumed in darkness as I lost consciousness.

---

The Everfree Forest was known to ponykind as a one of the only parts of Equus where untamed magic ran free, causing the plants to grow and proliferate and animals to behave erratically, chasing and preying on the weak. Such a place was not ruled by any law or justice, and nature could be revealed in its cruelest aspect, exposing to everypony’s eyes what could become of Equestria if Harmony was not protecting their lands.

Which is why, when an imposing cloud mass gathered above the darkened canopy, rumbling sounds of thunder echoing throughout the plains, nopony was surprised to see the first signs of a storm, as more and more clouds came from all direction to fuel the future deluge.

The storm, however, did not stop at the limit of the Everfree as it usually did. Instead, it progressed towards the neighboring towns, gaining in strength by the second.

Ponies were running in all directions to escape the incoming rain, finding shelter in the nearest shops, the thunder becoming louder as it closed in on the modest settlement. The weather team, finding themselves unable to fight the advance of the unrelenting clouds, had decided to instead help the distraught equines regain their homes.

The library was closed, although some light could be seen on the first floor. Inside, a lavender pony was looking at the titanic cloud through a telescope.

The storm had now reached its pinnacle: lightning struck in large blinding flashes, burning down whatever was unfortunate enough to be on their path. The wind had picked up, blowing roof tiles away, turning the covering material into deadly projectiles. The clouds, now looming over the small town, completely obstructed the daylight, casting a night-like shadow over the terrified inhabitants.

What was happening in the hamlet was nothing compared to the weather inside the forest. The wind was now powerful enough to tear away trees from the earth. Incessant lighting strike caused fires to emerge in multiple places in the forest, the deafening detonations disorienting the animals within. In a clearing situated right under the heart of the storm, static electricity was accumulating to such levels that electric arcs were going from the ground to meet the clouds far above, creating a lightning cage encasing the whole place.

Far away from there, on the side of a high mountain, atop of a castle was a pony, much bigger than its peers. Its magenta eyes were scanning the horizon, observing the wall of clouds that had formed around where her student lived.

A sudden flash announced the arrival of a purple unicorn, who immediately ran to her mentor.

“Princess! There is—“

“I know, Twilight,” the older one gently interrupted, putting a wing over the young pony in a calming motion.

“What…what do you think it is? That storm is way too big! Even compared to those seen in the Everfree!” The alicorn nodded gravely.

“It is indeed a worrying fact." Due to the chaotic magic weaved inside the forest, the storms that formed here were random and more powerful than those created by the weather ponies, but this… Even by Everfree standards, this tempest was unusually strong. She walked to her balcony, something catching her attention.

“Something is happening inside the forest!” She exclaimed rushing to the railing, putting her forelegs on the marble surface. Twilight ran beside her, and looked at the growing mass of clouds.

Far in the horizon, over the Everfree forest, a purple light had appeared briefly. Before either one of them could wonder whether what they saw was just a fluke, a colossal pillar of light shot from the clouds and stroke the canopy, lighting up a good portion of the forest. The pillar soon vanished just as abruptly as it came. Both stood breathless with shock, waiting a full minute in complete silence. The alicorn's eyes narrowed with determination, still locked on the place where the lightning previously struck.

“I will send a scouting party as soon as the storm calms down” the princess said, and walked back to her room, her friend following her. She looked at the fire burning in the hearth.

“What was it, princess?” She asked worriedly. The white pony turned back towards the now dissipating line of clouds. She sighed.

“I will be leading the investigation team.” This caused the purple one to gasp in surprise. “I have no idea of what is happening and that is what worries me.”

Both of them looked at the storm, which despite the fact that it had stopped, looked somehow even more ominous than before.

Comments

[Stlat]

“argh….well, fuck you too world!” - "Argh..." Man, dun goof on the first word of spoken dialogue, sorry man, that sucks balls.
A least, during the last one, " - Atleast.
"I sighted and got up." "I sighted as my shoulders sagged." And right next to it was another sighted instead of a sighed. Quite a few other simple goofs of sighed in there.
I Ever saw you around here boy. Remove the capitalization from ever and put a comma before someones name when one character is addressing another, even if it's just pronouns.
“Well, a pleasure to meet ya!”He - space is needed.
shaking Johns’ - John's*
we were in one of the most sacred place on the earth - Always capitalize Earth.
Johnsons’ tastes - Johnson's
I however was - I, however, was*
fifty if I remember correctly.”Finally - space needed
I don’t get many visitors you know.”His expression softened. - I don't get many visitors, you know?" space needed there and just saying, "His expression softened," sounds a bit awkward.
30 years of loyal duty" - Always spell out numbers the long way, except if it's a date.
and I know he is more than able to do his part.”I - needs space.
hell even my family call me on Skype. - called

Stopped at about there. I really liked the introduction, it really caught me off guard and was well written. Seriously, I'm taking notes on how to start my chapters like that.

But after the initial beginning, where Peter meets John and they begin to do some chores because John dun fucked it up, it slowly went kind of downhill for me and became a bit boring. John is just your stereotypical bro dude who didn't really have anything funny to say and felt flatter than a pancake in terms of character.

There was some person they were getting a gift for(?) which wasn't explained very well, that or I'm a retard, that got me wondering exactly what was the point of this exposition. Sure, it showed off the MC and his personality and a bit of something but I scrolled up to see something you NEVER want on an fic with humans here on FimFiction.

"Everything faded as I knew no more.

The Everfree forest..." - P.s. Forest should be capitalized too.

MC passing out/being killed with something like you said with the character losing consciousness and or seeing black followed by awakening in the Everfree. I didn't read the rest of that, but, I swear to god, if the MC gets attacked by timberwolves or a manticore then I'ma go apeshit on this place. Avoid cliches at all costs as they will put off a reader almost as fast as poor grammar.

There were many more grammar mistakes throughout the fic though they were miniscule and often repeats of the same thing, nothing a quick cntrl+f wouldn't change after a quick skim, and the exposition did nothing to really expand the MC enough to warrant itself as a 10k word long first chapter that couldn't be done in a few well paced, smaller chapters.

Though don't let this seem like a hate comment at all - seriously don't! - and congrats on this being your first story on FimFiction! The quality of your writing is good, your voice in unique and there is potential in this fic, if the description was anything to go by. I will review the next chapter as well and give pointers and grammar mistakes along with anything else I see fit.

Again, congrats on first fic posted!

[Pillow-pony]

6936347

Thank you very much for you comment! ( which is btw the first comment on my first fic ever!!! ) It is always interesting to have other's point of view on your story, as it allows you to see mistakes that you wouldn't have seen even if you reread your story a million times ( I did, six times ). Corrected everything though.

Although, thank you for your remark on the future of the story. I did honestly think about putting the main character through a pack of timberwolves, but decided otherwise, thanks to you. It gave me the occasion to introduce a new creature in Indian American's lore to mlp !

Thank you again for your comment! I will try to see if I can shorten Johnson's shenanigan a little bit in the future.

See you !

[Undead Equestrian Writer]

I'm calling right now, the sun is the mastermind behind every bad thing that's ever happened to Pete-boy.