When a person wakes up in the morning, the last thing they would expect is to walk outside and discover that their neighborhood has turned into a forest overnight! When faced with a world which defies imagination--and reminds him of a show he used to watch-- what will that person do? Will he be able to get help from the locals and find a way to go home? Well, I'm about to find out!
Proofreader : Stlat
NEWS : I've decided to "remaster" the first chapters of this story. I will keep you guys updated on their completion as it goes.
PROGRESS:
CH 1 : 100% - Finished
CH 2 : 100% - Finished
CH 3 : 18% - Correction (3/18 pages)
Chapters (8)
“argh….well, fuck you too world!” - "Argh..." Man, dun goof on the first word of spoken dialogue,
sorry man, that sucks balls.
A least, during the last one, " - Atleast.
"I sighted and got up." "I sighted as my shoulders sagged." And right next to it was another sighted instead of a sighed. Quite a few other simple goofs of sighed in there.
I Ever saw you around here boy. Remove the capitalization from ever and put a comma before someones name when one character is addressing another, even if it's just pronouns.
“Well, a pleasure to meet ya!”He - space is needed.
shaking Johns’ - John's*
we were in one of the most sacred place on the earth - Always capitalize Earth.
Johnsons’ tastes - Johnson's
I however was - I, however, was*
fifty if I remember correctly.”Finally - space needed
I don’t get many visitors you know.”His expression softened. - I don't get many visitors, you know?" space needed there and just saying, "His expression softened," sounds a bit awkward.
30 years of loyal duty" - Always spell out numbers the long way, except if it's a date.
and I know he is more than able to do his part.”I - needs space.
hell even my family call me on Skype. - called
Stopped at about there. I really liked the introduction, it really caught me off guard and was well written. Seriously, I'm taking notes on how to start my chapters like that.
But after the initial beginning, where Peter meets John and they begin to do some chores because John dun fucked it up, it slowly went kind of downhill for me and became a bit boring. John is just your stereotypical bro dude who didn't really have anything funny to say and felt flatter than a pancake in terms of character.
There was some person they were getting a gift for(?) which wasn't explained very well, that or I'm a retard, that got me wondering exactly what was the point of this exposition. Sure, it showed off the MC and his personality and a bit of something but I scrolled up to see something you NEVER want on an fic with humans here on FimFiction.
"Everything faded as I knew no more.
The Everfree forest..." - P.s. Forest should be capitalized too.
MC passing out/being killed with something like you said with the character losing consciousness and or seeing black followed by awakening in the Everfree. I didn't read the rest of that, but, I swear to god, if the MC gets attacked by timberwolves or a manticore then I'ma go apeshit on this place. Avoid cliches at all costs as they will put off a reader almost as fast as poor grammar.
There were many more grammar mistakes throughout the fic though they were miniscule and often repeats of the same thing, nothing a quick cntrl+f wouldn't change after a quick skim, and the exposition did nothing to really expand the MC enough to warrant itself as a 10k word long first chapter that couldn't be done in a few well paced, smaller chapters.
Though don't let this seem like a hate comment at all - seriously don't!
- and congrats on this being your first story on FimFiction! The quality of your writing is good, your voice in unique and there is potential in this fic, if the description was anything to go by. I will review the next chapter as well and give pointers and grammar mistakes along with anything else I see fit.
Again, congrats on first fic posted!
6936347
Thank you very much for you comment! ( which is btw the first comment on my first fic ever!!!
) It is always interesting to have other's point of view on your story, as it allows you to see mistakes that you wouldn't have seen even if you reread your story a million times ( I did, six times 
). Corrected everything though.
Although, thank you for your remark on the future of the story. I did honestly think about putting the main character through a pack of timberwolves, but decided otherwise, thanks to you. It gave me the occasion to introduce a new creature in Indian American's lore to mlp !
Thank you again for your comment! I will try to see if I can shorten Johnson's shenanigan a little bit in the future.
See you !
“Kate” my shaky voice said. - Error404commanotfound
got teleported to an inhospitable place with mutants roaming inside!” - Outside, perhaps? Not sure if mess up or I've just read this wrong.
“And your dad.” Added a much deeper voice. - Make this one proper thought by removing the period and replacing it with a comma. I saw this is a few other moments in this chapter but I'm too lazy to go back to gettem all.
“You know it is not polite to go alone to a trip without inviting your parents?”I laughed. - Space is needed at end.
“Are you a fighter Pete?” Yelled the drilling sergeant voice inside the speakers. - Comma between fighter and Pete and make yelled a lowercase.
“I will come back, I promise you” I said, not feeling confident myself. - Missed comma
I was not doubting of my sister, but hearing that you son - Your son*
Seeing I was not answering, she sighted. - Sighed
“Well, do you have the plans for the generator Kate?” - Comma needed before Kate.
“Hey! This was not my fault, okay? I was seven! How could I know metal plates were not compatible with the microwave?!”This only - Space needed @ end.
It is always such a pleasure to have you trying to lift my spirits. I thought with a roll of my eyes. - Sounds awkward when it's two sentences.
I do not even need to build a generator! I thought with glee. - Again, awkward. And who honestly fully says, "do not," when thinking to themselves in excitement?
Well, I suppose I do not have a choice then. I must start to locate potential food sources. - Tense fail or you forgot to add the, "I thought," at the end.
I sighted. - Bruh.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Good night Kate,” I answered, before hanging the phone.
I looked back at the forest through the window. Well, I suppose I do not have a choice then. I must start to locate potential food sources. I gulped, and then turned towards a small carton filled with bubble wrap. I rummaged a bit through it before pulling a wooden crossbow. I looked at it, remembering the day when I finished building it. It was quite powerful and fired the wooden bolts at a very satisfying distance. My gaze then turned towards a small carton just on the side of the one containing the weapon. I sighted. Guess I’m not training anymore, I thought, as I opened the box, revealing twenty neatly stacked steel bolts shining in the afternoon light.
This time, I decided to head east. That way, I would certainly avoid the ‘elk’ I met earlier if the north was his territory, and maybe spot some potential food source. I walked into the maze formed by the impressively large trees that in all likelihood decided this morning to block my path by all possible means, carefully keeping an eye on the compass all the while. - There is no scene change to indicate that Pete even slept the night, it had me thinking that he just went out in the middle of the night with the convenient crossbow until my brain noticed something wasn't right.
I would gladly apply a lotion on those wounds, if I had any. - Would have gladly applied some lotion*
My medical cabinet only had the strict necessary, and let’s say it, burns does not happen that often. - necessities, and, let's say it, burns do not happen that often.
I carefully removed some branches out of my face so I could see What was happening, - A random capitalized What appears!
However, they had much more details in them and probably were even more dangerous than the original ones. I chuckled. Luckily for me, they were just automatons. - Automatons and bots? Dafuq, did I miss some reference here or have I just gone full retard?
their tail between their legs. - Tails*
I climbed down the tree, nearly missing some steps on the way back, and ran West as the twigs and - Only capitalize a direction if it's in a proper noun.
I was not on earth anymore, and would probably never return home. - Capitalize Earth.
My mind in some twisted pleasure, decided to remind me of the good moments I had with them, - First part sounds awkward.
I sat here, - There.
I spent hours unloading my sorrow and dolor, leaving me broken, exhausted. - which left me broken and exhausted. I don't know, there are a few ways you could word this one that would make it sound a bit less awkward.
There's all the gramatical stuff I found, though I only started this comment half way through the chapter, so yay!
Thoughts overall? You really got a good chuckle outa me with the whole, "Ma porn!" moment along with the moment when he realized the thing was unplugged and thought it was just that simple. The description of the wendigo gave me goosebumps when it stood 6' tall, definitely nailed the, "Oh shit," feeling there.
Pete sounded a bit pretentious at first, "Im'a build a generator!" and, I may have missed it, but why did he chose to treat his burns only after he went exploring in the damn wilderness in his dirty clothes!? And the part where you just introduced the solar panels, a little too unbelievable just like how he had a spare crossbow in working condition with a good supply of steel bolts just in his closet, made me kind of mad. True, while I don't want this guy going full caveman on me and making bone clubs and sodomizing goats, it would be nice to see him at least challenged with the outdoors.
Night had taken its toll on the woods, as most of the sounds of the day had disappeared. Gone were the singing birds, the small critters that moved in the bushes. With the last ray of the sun, they were replaced by the occasional ululation of nocturnal bird of prey; an eerie silence had befallen the entire place.
After an eternity of wandering through the unwelcoming forest, I started to notice the foliage becoming sparse, the night light filtering once again and providing a much clearer view of my immediate surroundings. The trees were fewer as time went on, revealing a path that seemed to lead to the same location I headed to. - Did Pete just grow balls of steel after killing that one Alpha wendigo or something? He now knows that the wendigo's aren't solitary hunters and yet decides to venture off from his mostly safe house into the forest, at what sounds like the dead of the night, and climbs a tree to get a random look about the place. Really breaks his character here as he was previously paralyzed in fear atop his roof for an half hour after the wendigo left last time then he goes onto being some badass that goes out solo into hostile territory.
The vision of the decrepit castle had confirmed what I suspected for a time yet was not ready to accept. All the day, I kept trying to push back the stress and tension that had accumulated the more I stayed here. All the emotions I kept bottled in me were threatening to break the thin barrier of sanity I had build around them, as tears started to well up in my burning eyes. - So you're telling me he's okay with killing a wendigo that disintegrates when he scores a headshot on it, having his home -I thought it was an apartment but it was always described as a full house?- teleported into some small piece if flatland in the middle of a forest and several other enigmas but has his tact break when he sees the obligatory castle of the royal sisters? Also, he hadn't used the crossbow since we weren't told how long and without even checking the thing or taking a few practice shots to get a feel for the thing he manages to dome the Alpha wendigo with his first shot? I call hax.
I also get that he was under some of the worst mental trauma someone could go under, being ripped from everything they knew and held dear in their lives, but when you fall asleep on a cliff line after wailing as loud as you can in a forest that is inhabited by six foot wendigos? Man you deserve to get yo ass chewed on for that.
As for the wendigos, you could've had a much greater feeling of dread with having it be just a single one that stalks him constantly and does other haunting shit to him to lose him sleep; ie scratching at his windows at night, looking in through them and perhaps having Pete come back to a broken into house for the ultimate horror scene. But that was just me, the wendigos served their purpose for obligatory early story action and they did it well enough.
M8, I also swear to god if it was one of the main six, we both know who I'm talkin about here, that spotted in at the very end, I'll bash yer f0kin 'ead in m8e.
Liked this chapter overall, went by quick and left me eager to read the next, wonder exactly how he's going to cope with the situation? OOoo, onto the next!
Thos though brought another - WHAT ARE THOSE? Heheh, couldn't resist...
“Mom, Dad and kate…How could I bring myself to tell them what I painfully discovered not ten hours ago? - Capitalize Kate.
“Hello Kate?” - Comma, boooooiiiiii.
“Peter, you okay?!” She nearly screamed, - Again, just as a reminder for future chapters, don't capitalize the dialogue said tags. I'll refer you to this handy link that's helped me a crap load during my writing. https://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide#Contents . Look at said tags if you just want to get straight to the point, but I'd read the whole thing just for reference.
“You did not call this morning and we feared the worst! - The dialogue is a bit unconvincing in this situation. She and the rest of Pete's family had just thought he had gotten just gotten his cheeks violently beaten by some forest monster and yet she speaks oddly like this. I would recommend using more contractions in situations where there is a sense of urgency, IE try to make them feel like people who voice their concerns and distress in realistic ways. I'd be cursing Pete up a storm if I were in Kate's position and he just picked up the phone.
“Okay, see you then.” She hung the phone, leaving me to my thoughts. - Seems abrupt AF and unlike the usual concerned Kate who just accepted the fact that Pete had some horrible information that he wanted to relay to the whole family.
“Well, I should probably go.” I said to now one in particular. - Derp herp a derp!
And another side note on the solar panels, I'm pretty sure you need a power converter specific for solar panels to convert solar energy into stable electricity. Plus, wouldn't a fair number of the wires in Pete's house just be torn from the rest of the power source from the house? I don't know, haven't looked that much into wiring and I could be sounding like a complete moron here, but that's just my two cents on the odd solar power thingy. Also, a quarter of the needed panels is still enough to power the fridge, lights and a PC? Uwotm9.
‘And I’m at 200 Mbytes per second?! I’ve never been able to go past 80 in my whole life!! - Oh god, I can barely get 600 kbps. This guy could literally download every video from Brazzers in under an hour with 1080p 60fps...
I also sighted another one, in ruins.” - Missing quotation mark and this one sounds a bit weird.
“Peter”, she started, love radiating from her demeanor - Comma misplaced.
Don’t ever forget that. Alright? / But nonetheless. You are not alone. - These two would sound way better if they were just two sentences rather than four.
I know living here will be difficult, and sometimes, despair will find a way into your mind. Do not let yourself fall into a circle of sorrow my darling. If you think there is no life for you out there, then create your own. Build your own future, Peter, and be Happy. We will always be there for you.” - Forgot a quotation mark at the beginning and this sounds just a bit too omnipotent.
“I shall, mom” I chocked. “I love you.” - Missing comma and misspelled choked.
Even though I could still contact my family, I could not allow myself to spend talking to them. - Spend time talking to them.
I looked one more time longingly at the blue desktop screen, before eventually standing up and walking - Worded awkwardly, perhaps: I looked longingly one more time? I dunno, just me.
Contrarily to the one orbiting around the earth, - Earth needs to be capitalized.
“Well, I did walk a lot today” - Comma
One bottle was placed on the toilets and the rest was put inside the fridge. - This makes me mad. Pete hasn't even found a proper source of food and hasn't even thought of purifying any water from local streams, that's if he knows how, and yet he's willing to waste good, bottled water on relieving himself rather than building a latrine or just using a bucket if he's afriad to go outside in the middle of the night. Nitpicky but that's just me.
I also had the possibility to go exploring the castle ruins in hopes of finding some map, or even some armor or weaponry. Considering the limited amount of bolts and the currents inhabitants of the surrounding woods, I thought the latter option was certainly not overkill. - He has thirty steel tipped bolts, if he had scavenged that one he quick scoped the wendigo Alpha with earlier, and another thirty plain wood ones if I'm not mistaken. As long as he doesn't go piss off an Ursa Major or something equally as large, I'd say he's in pretty good condition. And, if he were to face a manticore or something equally dangerous, with or without some long since sharpened or maintained arms and or armor, he'd be boned either way.
I looked at the mountain were the alabaster castle tower imperiously just like the day I first saw it, its golden cupolas reaching towards the skies. - Wrong where.
“No…”The sight of the castle somehow brought a terrible feeling of dread, - Missed space.
“Alone…”The - Missed space.
“Alone…Alone…Alone….”chanted the speakers with the same voice as before. - Missed space there.
I just wanted to be left….Alone…” - Missed quotation mark here, I really liked that effect though.
and was about to connect with his jaw when my face brutally encountered a wooden floor, I heap of covers falling on me. - Looool, but you misplaced an I for an A at the very end there.
and my trusty iron crossbow, - You specifically called it wooden last chapter.
The same beautiful lys-like poison joke bushes paved my way. I had at some point decided to cut one and to put it in between my jacket and the strap of my backpack, locking the plant just above my chest, the classic aroma tickling my nostrils all the while. - Pete. What. The. Fuck.
“Stand back and bow to me Equestria! Close your doors, hide your weak, your young and your old, for I, Peter the third, have a chlorophyll-based organism in my hand!” I shouted to no one in particular, continuing on my merry way.
Surprisingly, no creature of nightmare was drawn towards me upon hearing my rather loud declaration of war on Ponykind. - Good shit m8.
But come, on, this was an adventure! - But, come on, this was an adventure! Also sounds a bit weird with tenses.
I encountered monster on my first day here, and now, nothing?! - a monster, and now nothing?
The covers would definitely come in, handy tonight. - He never mentioned having covers beforehand.
I ate a bit of my rations, and setting my sights on some old stem, laid my head on it, - Was 3/4 of the way done with the chapter when this part finally clicked in my head, perhaps word it differently? A random stem for a pillow does not sound like the most pleasant experience.
2 am - It would be correct here to use the capital version of AM as it's the first word(?) in the sentence, and you should write out the 2 as two.
“What does ‘shit’ means?” - Not sure if misspelling mean on purpose, I'm guessing it's Derpy. Edit: Then I thought it was Dinky, also nope.
“Wow, you have the same voice as my mom when she’s scared!” The little piece of concentrated diabetes giggled, earning a frown from me.
“Hey” I objected, “I wasn’t scare—ok, maybe a little.” I admitted, looking at the young pony as she smiled at me. - You forgot to turn these into two paragraphs.
“What are you mister?” - you, mister?
I shrugged. I would have to bathe in the river, like our ancestors used to do. - Bathing in fish piss and turds < not bathing at all.
For this chapter, I was still pissing my pants over how Pete was trying to act like a Bear Grylls when he was just being a dumbass mofo, but there were the occasional moments of light comedy that were spaced nicely to even it out. The part where Pete was losing his mind was kind of generic, honestly, as well as how he was instantly warmed up to/by the filly who I was positive was Dinky up until I remembered she has purple fur and the introduction of Grayhoof. I hope this story doesn't fall, as this is the place where most Human OC inserts go into hiatus after discord is introduced to be the reason for OC's disappearance.
Liked the chapter, you weren't kidding with that spoiler at the top, and I'll apologize ahead of time if my comments, this one and the one on CH 2, seemed assholey. My cold/headache just started to act up as I began to comment on CH 2, but I decided to truck on through because yolo.
Keep on trucking with this, don't lose momentum. P.S. PM me if you want a proofreader.
7012743
Thank you again for your support !
I must admit the dream part was not as novel as it could have been, and the cliche of meeting a 'lost sheep' in the woods was quite heavy ( I posted this story quickly before my departure and some--a lot-- errors have slipped in the text. Sorry again.
)
I cannot say how grateful I am to see that you follow my story and are so dedicated to it. Thank you so much! Your point of view is very important, so do not hesitate to point at everything you think could be improved or should be removed.
Right now, I am still on vacation, but the second I come back ( which shall occur next monday ) I shall see to those errors you have pointed and shall eradicate them all. Mouahahahaha!!!!!
Thank you again, I hope you get better soon. Being ill is never fun.
See you in the next chapter, or blog post! Or something similar!
7012359
Hi and thanks a lot !
I corrected all the errors you've pointed in this chapter.
I cannot thank you enough for the work you've done for this story! Your support really means a lot for me man.
Sorry again for the "sighted" instead of "sighed" ( I think that's my kryptonite ). i desperately try to destroy them when I see them, but they seem to slip past my --not so-- attentive eye.
Thank you also for pointing at the horrible incoherences in the story. I will try to correct them before tuesday, and correct the other errors in the next chapter.
Thank you again so much, and see you in the next chapter!
Ps: the ponies in this chapter come from a very specific brony fan game. Story of the blanks. If you do not want any spoiler though, don't look up until the next chapter. But after that please play it, it is short yet fun ( and filled with nightmares! ).
Hi the guy that had written this story (Pillow-pony). I've read the story and I must say it's amusing that poor Pete (hehe) got lost in his own one in the middle of the forest. And no, I'm not judging you. I can proudly say that you've managed great so far and I would like to see new chapters. Also when something happens - explain it!
7036774
Hi butchernov2012 ! thanks for your comment and your support!
I'll try to explain when something happens, I swear. Please, don't..... butcher me ! . . .Sorry for the pun
7054026
Lol it's bUCHernov not BuTcher-nov but again I always pronounce it with T.
7054152
Oh sorry man!
My brain functions in mysterious ways
, and I when I saw your profile I thought I saw "butcher".
Still, thanks for your comment and see you hopefully in the next chapter (which may or may not come around tomorrow...or the day after)
I'll be back.
Duck you mitch!
Seriously? Zomponies? That's that's AWESOME!
Got ya!
Amazing chapter, must I say. Definetly did not expect zombies (except about the warning in the start, but the chapter is still awesome, no the whole story is! Keep up the chaps (not monkies
)
7068594
Hi Buchernov !
Thanks for your support ! It's always nice to read people's appreciation for the story!
Have a nice day, and see you in another chapter! ;)
OH PONYFEATHERS RUN!!!!
This story...seem familiar a game.....that you start as Applebloom...I can't remember the game title dont't,by the way nice story and keep er going.
7094536
Hi man!
I'm glad people knows this game, as it probably was the most interesting brony game I've played yet.
Get rekt boy; you're in Sunny Town now!
That's not good and bad joke is BAD!
7199306
I'm sorry. I am so sorry !
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQmdGjmFvXdC-wFaKhuodL9Vv_rkH0ayxGv3K9vb0rYHtS6Pd7EYNm8Nig
7094970 I have the perfect song for this town
It matches so perfectly
7260424
Oh god. This fits perfectly to the situation!
You my good sir are a genius. Have a moustache
is this story dead cause i really enjoyed it
). anyway hope to see more of this interesting story soon
i hope you find the time to write some more cause i really want to see where you take this story. it is really rare to find an HiE that has any contact with the humans home world after he is in equestria and this is the first time i have ever seen an one the had the "human phone home" (bonus cookie if you get the reference
7356420
Hi!
Nah, don't worry about the state of the story. It's just the author ( me ) that's being a big lazy douche right now and played too much video games (doom) instead of being useful. I have written about 2k words of the next chapter, but work at such a slow pace even a snail would mock me.
Do not fret though, I will never stop this story. you hear me? Nevah! I will be on vacation starting the 8th of july and will be back before the end of the month.
I'm sorry again for the massive delay. I can assure you that I'm still here, and the story will go on.
I'm glad you liked the story so far, and I will see you in the next chapter! ( or next comment, or...I will see you nevertheless! )
Ps : E.T phone home. I want that cookie! Give it to me!
Wai wha?
Exactly how I feel
... Wat...?
7375159
Mouahahahahahahaha!
The plot is there! Even if nobody understands yet because there is not enough clue!
7375878 Nightmare is a separate, human looking entity that took over Luna and when Celestia used the elements on her, Nightmare disappeared and Luna died?
Probs not, idk...
7376969
..........Perhaps?
Or perhaps not!
Though that would be awesome!
I'll try to put some action in the next chapter, and maybe more clues concerning the main plot.
Brony points for your way of thinking. Have some stache.
7379360 eyy
7379464
Ooooooooh !
ANOTHER CHAPTER
with so much plot
what more could i ask for
oh yeah....MOAR
please
pretty please
pretty please with a cherry on top
but in all seriousness great chapter man. i love the character interactions you have going on here and that cliffhanger bit with celestia at the end there was a great bit of writing. as a reader i simultaneously hate you for it and want to cheer you on just for the fact i want to find out whats up. so lets see what we learned from this chapter to see if i can guess what is going on
1) pre nightmare moon return: means that the main six have not formed yet
2) human description given to celestia how jumps to the conclusion of nightmare returning: possible previous HiE action in the past. maybe evil human took the name nightmare and cursed Luna which would hint at the evil human being the plot villein as well as humans have magic....
3) highwind weakness is ear scratches and Peter knows it: highwind is clearly doomed to a live as a finger addict, she is going to end up quitting her job and selling all of her possessions just so she can have more ear scratching time until finally our newly made captain of the night guard Nightshade one night finds her downtrodden in a back ally gutter and takes pity on her and drags highwinds finger addict flank back to her and her husbands, Peter's place to help her turn her life around. comical hi-jinks ensue with light herd romance content and positively heart warming moments.
4) Captain sharpsteel has a lot of paperwork he needs to do: clearly he is to focused on his job and needs to get back to his mare and foal as he has lost sight of what truly matters and what he set out to protect in the first place. that and he should use up some of his backlog vacation time to take a week long vacation with his mare and foal on a trip to the big apple so he wont be anywhere near ponyville and thus get hurt two days from his retirement.
5) i read this chapter on a Tuesday but it was posted on a Friday: which means that is i double the derivative of the formula i can create using the vowels as the multiplier of X and the constraints as C when i combine the letters from both days of the week and then check that number against the 13 European zodiacs we get Libra which is the scales of balance and equilibrium and people ruled by this sign focus relationships, sociability, and harmony....mighty odd coincidence don't you think
DUN DUN DUN
i currently don't have enough to go on to guess the story plot.....
DUN DUN DUN
BUT i have managed to already figure out the moral of this entire story!!!
DUN DUN DUN
Oh the humanity
No spoilers! RAWR!!!!
this post is full of missspellings do you even english bro
anyway great chapter hope to see another one soon and sorry about the wordy post
7387413
Hi!
Thanks a lot. It's super nice to hear from the mouth ( or text ) of the reader themselves that they liked the story.
I try to make a tale both interesting to follow yet not to put too much drama in it either.
First, how did you know I was libra?! Are you a spy?
Thank god I won't try to put the ear-scratching addiction that would lead to one of the main character to lose her home. That would be too sad and realistic for the world of ponies to handle.
Do not worry though, I plan to incorporate seriousness at some points in the story. I won't let go of the funny occasional jokes either. I'll try to find an equilibrium. ( equilibrium, libra....get it ? Get it?!
)
Right now, I'm on holidays, and will be back in three weeks. Until then, as I do not have any computer at hand, I will be unable to write. So do not fret if you do not hear from me. I'm still alive and kicking, and willing to continue this fic.
Really enjoying this story so far, can't wait for the next chapter!
7430129
Hi!
Thanks! I'm glad you liked the story so far, and I hope it will continue to do so in the future
As of now, I'm on holidays, and am stranded from my computer ( sorry for the horrible pun ).
Be assured that as soon as I get back ( in approximately one week ), I should e able to continue the writing of the next chapter.
Fuck the what duck?
Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnn
7459660
Mouahahahaha!
You never thought I could add even more plot did you now?
Don't worry though, I think I've installed enough for a few other chapters without needing another Deus ex machina intervention.
Ps: Stlat and I are currently working on redoing the description of the story to make it more fitting and a bit less goofy. I don't know yet how we will change it, but I hope it will be pleasing to your eyes guys.
Thanks again for reading and giving a bit of your time for this story, and I'll see you in another chapter, comment or update!
7460209 (takes breath looks all over house for celestia sighs in relief and presses enter)
not you but celestia could by stressing over Peter (WHAT happens next you decide)
7460697
That might be nice indeed. Right now I'm chilling, but I'll soon go back to writing next's chapter's storyboard. I gotta make all those characters and plot twists work somehow. Gahhh! My brain's melting!!!!
Ooooooh, he in trouble now!
Besides the obvious question of 'how did Celestia find him?' Im on the edge of my seat! I hope this ends without any more violence, but that doesn't seem likely, considering Celestia's behaviour and the fact that she gave her guards a shoot to kill on sight order.
Cant wait until the next chapter! Im really enjoying this story!
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I'm glad you like the last chapter
. It was fun to write and I had a blast creating the cliffhanger. 
I'm currently writing the next one, which should bring more answers about the world around the protagonist.
Thanks again for your support, and I'll see you in another comment!
Edit: I modified the number before each chapter so that the first chapter isn't "Chapter 0" but "Chapter 1".
Edit: Wooohoo! Guys, Stranded Away has gathered 50 likes!
Thank you for your awesome support, and I hope this story will continue to be pleasing to read in the future. Thanks again ! 
Oh my god, as soon as I made the connection between 'hamlet in the Everfree forest' and the zombie warning, I knew that s**t was about to hit the fan.
AND SSOOOO IT TAKES A TURN FOR THE WORSE !!! So...Luna is not in the picture...YET. And the Elements aren't united...YET. So he will probably run into Twilight in the castle at some point. He knows a great deal about their futures, but can he TALK about it to them ?
How close is he to Nightmare Moon's return ? Did humans show up from time to time, before Luna's banishment ? I was expecting the night guards to be batponies, but given the timeline, they wouldn't be in the story. I see a finger addict in the making. Also an addict to belly rubs. I hope there is more adorableness in the future for him.
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Hi!
Thanks for your comment and your interest in the story !
I cannot answer your questions hence I reveal part of the plot, but rest assured: the next chapter should bring you a bit of respite.
I am currently working on the seventeenth page of the new chapter, and I plan to answer at least 50% Of your questions in it.
I am sorry for the delay, I know it's been more than two months since the last chapter, and to answer a question that might pop up if I don't upload anything in the next week or so: I will never abandon this story! It will never go on hiatus or be cancelled! Even if I have to take three months to publish a chapter, I will take them.
I hope you are all having a nice day/night depending on where you live, and i'll see you soon!
I'm calling right now, the sun is the mastermind behind every bad thing that's ever happened to Pete-boy.
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That would explain so many things ! XD
okay, note 1 main character can see ghosts, note two WHAT THE FUCK!!!