Okay, I do love that last line.

It's....interesting. I like where it's headed but seems to be rushed. Try to slow things down a bit. Flesh out the characters and how they fit into your story. Add more problems for them to solve. Things of that nature. Another thing that I noticed with the second chapter something that Applejack says that she wouldn't normally say. The line in question is this one....

“Twiligh’. WHY WOULD YA DO THAT WITH MA BRO?!” Applejack hollered.

In any story that I've read on Fimfiction, I have never seen a story that featured the Mane Six or just Applejack and her family, use "Bro". I'm sorry, but when I read that line, Applejack was instantly transported from Sweet Apple Acres to the beaches in California. She would have used the full word.

Other than that one little line and the rushed feeling, it's a pretty good concept. Keep up the hard work and I can't wait to see what more you come up with.

Twilight and Big Mac. I have read a lot of stories and I have seen pictures and videos of other ponies being good couples and funny couples but these two I have to say this is perfect regionality can't wait to see what happens

I don’t know if I want to him about it or not.

I believe you missed a word there, I think you meant to say "if I want to tell him or not."

Aaaaaand funny.