Starlight Glimmer gets dunked on
“Okay, here we go.” Starlight quietly said to herself as she put her headphones on. The glow of the computer she was sitting at was the only light that her room in the Castle of Friendship contained as she started it up. It was the middle of the night in Ponyville right now. Luna’s moon high in the sky and the sound of crickets lulling ponies into a peaceful slumber for the night to come.
Not Starlight Glimmer though. Instead she sat at her computer intending to be playing a game the entire night through as opposed to sleeping. It was all she really felt like doing right now. For at this point in her life, sleep was nearly impossible. Ever since the events of a month ago, the memories of that barren, grey wasteland that was indirectly caused by her meddling with the timestream had not once left her mind even for a second.
Her new friends had forgiven her just fine, sure. But forgiving herself was a different story entirely.
She quickly shook her head trying to get these thoughts out of her mind. “Just don’t think about it Glimmer. Just try to have fun and calm down.” She said to herself. She turned her attention back to the screen, where the game she’d just bought was starting up. On the screen was the image of a bipedal creature standing up and holding a spear, and next to it was some sort of anthropomorphic goat. Text crawled below the screen as she watched.
Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: Humans, and Monsters.
The image changed to two armies facing each other down in what looked like a violent demeanor.
One day, war broke out between the two races.
The image then changed a third time to the human army standing victoriously over the monster army as the monsters all looked back up at them. The sight of the whole ordeal started to give Starlight chills. Whether they were the good or bad kind, she was unable to tell.
After a long battle, the humans were victorious. They sealed the monsters underground with a magical spell.
Starlight awaited the next image change, but her attention was torn away from the screen by the feeling of a hoof on her shoulder and a familiar voice accompanying it. “Starlight? What are you doing up this late?” it asked.
Starlight turned around to see none other than Twilight Sparkle; formerly her bitter rival but now a good friend of hers. Since the events of last month, Twilight let Starlight stay in her castle in Ponyville seeing as she had nowhere else to go. She really appreciated Twilight’s help, but she really felt like she didn’t deserve it. Like she hadn’t felt like she earned her friendship. She felt Twilight should’ve punished her to some degree and not treated like a friend. Twilight just seemed to be very strangely friendly and open.
She didn’t understand it.
“Um…what’re YOU doing up this late?” she asked Twilight back.
Twilight’s face deadpanned a little bit. “You know I do a lot of my reading at night. I tell you, I’d get so much more done if I didn’t have to sleep.” She said. “But, this isn’t about me. Why are you awake?” Twilight asked again.
Starlight was fumbling to come up with some excuse to get herself out of this, but came up short. She only sighed a little in defeat. “I can’t sleep…I can’t stop thinking about everything I did…so I’m just trying to waste some time and keep my mind off it by playing a game.” She said, pointing to the screen.
Twilight looked past her friend and at the computer screen and saw just what it was she was playing. It was something she herself had played a little while ago, and quite frankly, given the game’s nature, she was not prepared for it in the slightest.
UNDERTALE
‘Oh boy. She’s playing THAT game huh.’ She thought to herself.
“I’ve already beaten the game before, but I’m just kind of looking back through to see if I missed anything. I want to get the full experience out of it, you know?” Starlight asked.
Twilight thought to herself for a moment as she took in what Starlight was saying, when a slightly devious thought came to her. Rainbow did this exact thing to her when she played this game, going in completely blind to what was going to happen. Kill everything in the game she said, it’ll be the most fun you’ll ever have, she said.
Although she’d gotten pretty mad at Rainbow for luring her into a trap like that, she got over it pretty quick. But Twilight thought about that specific situation for a reason here. If Starlight wanted to get the most out of the game, then she’d give it to her.
“You know…there’s more than one way to play this.” She said, smiling a little. “I know that after you beat the first route you probably wouldn’t think of doing this, but…killing everything in the game is a lot more fun”
That caught Starlight completely off guard. “Wait, really? I’ve…been curious over what would happen if I did that but…given what I’ve seen in this already…I don’t know if I want to.” She said.
“Oh no no no, trust me it’ll be fine. It’s not like the characters are actual sentient beings or anything, they’re pixels. It’s also a LOT easier than the pacifist route.” Twilight said, trying to rationalize the scenario. Though Twilight herself cried a lot when playing this game just in the peaceful route and the final boss to this route gave her probably the absolute worst experience of her entire life. Tirek, Discord, Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, and even Starlight herself were all mere peons compared to the true hell that awaited Starlight at the end.
“Well….you’re my friend so…I guess I can trust you on this.” Starlight said looking back at the screen. She moved over the “Reset” button on the main menu and booting a new save file up
A few hours later
“Twilight Sparkle, I am never trusting you ever again.” Starlight said, bags under her eyes and a couple of tear stains on her cheeks. She was obviously very tired already and emotionally drained from what she had witnessed in the game since she started the “Genocide Route” as Twilight called it. She was expecting a lot of bad things to come out of it, but certainly not THIS bad.
It all started when she killed all the monsters in the Ruins and no more started to show up when battles started. The slow and chilling music really didn’t help the atmosphere of the entire thing. While that did raise a few red flags, that’s not what did it for her. Killing Toriel is where she realized that this entire playthrough was a mistake. But she continued on, not wanting to look weak in front of her new friend over a game.
She didn’t know how well she was doing with that, but still. She refused to let this game break her.
Twilight only snickered a little and relished in the fact she’d successfully pulled this off. “What? It’s just pixels remember? It’s not THAT bad.”
“Papyrus still believed in me even as I murdered him…I killed the love of Alphys’ life…and I feel like the scum of the Earth for killing Toriel. This route of the game does NOT fill me with determination. I had to kill TEMMIES for Celestia’s sake.” She said, moving her character sprite into the “Judgement Hall” to approach Asgore’s throne room. “Why the heck would ANYPONY play this route?!”
Twilight only shrugged. “Morbid curiosity? You wanted to experience the game in full so I’m just letting you do that.”
Starlight let out a deep, aggravated breath. “I know I know but…uuugh I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” She groaned. “Well…after I get done with this, I’m gonna do another True Pacifist run. I don’t like this at all.”
Twilight patted Starlight’s back to help her calm down. She’d really need it for what was coming next. “Well relax Starlight, you’re almost done. You’ve only got one thing standing in between you and completion…” Twilight said, her smile growing wider.
Starlight hesitantly nodded and moved her character across the screen and past the pillars in the foreground. More than anything right now, she just wanted to get through this run and never ever do it again. As she moved her character though, she started to remember something that happened earlier in the game. Papyrus’ brother, Sans, had said that if she kept doing what she was doing, then she was gonna have a bad time. While Starlight was indeed having a “bad time” she really couldn’t shake the feeling that the worst was yet to come.
Her fears had unfortunately been realized when her character abruptly stopped and the camera panned across the screen over to the shadow of Sans staring directly at her. Sans’ dialogue then began to scroll in his traditional font of Comic Sans…
Starlight only just now got the joke and would’ve facehoofed if the circumstances weren’t so bad.
“heya. you’ve been busy, huh?” Sans’ dialogue box said very ominously. The fact that Sans was still giving that unsettling and uninviting smile despite the fact that she has killed all his friends made Starlight even more uneasy.
“…so, i’ve got a question for ya. do you think the worst person can change…? that everybody can be a good person, if they just try?” Sans continued. Against Starlight’s control, her character moved forward, not giving her the option to respond. What Sans was saying here really hit close to home for her given what she’d done and has been doing lately and it made her all the more uncomfortable.
“heh heh heh heh heh….all right. well, here’s a better question.” The sprite of Sans’ head in the dialogue box suddenly got all the creepier as his eyesockets turned completely black. “do you wanna have a bad time? ‘cause if you take another step forward…you are REALLY not going to like what happens next.” Again, against Starlight’s control, her character moved forward.
“welp. sorry old lady. this is why I never make promises.” Sans said, followed by the battle screen starting up. This was it. Starlight was prepared to just hurry up and get closure on this route before things got any worse. Though Starlight was pretty mad at Twilight for tricking her into this route in the game, and even madder at herself for taking this advice, she did admit one thing. This wasn’t really all that difficult, just like Twilight said it would be.
Twilight sure was a smart one for baiting Starlight into this.
The sprite of Sans on the battle screen began to speak again, with a calm and serene about him, and the sounds of birds could be heard. “it’s a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming…on days like these, kids like you…” Sans’ eyesockets went completely black again and the sounds of birds stopped altogether, leaving Starlight in dead silence. “Should be burning in hell…”
Without any warning, Starlight’s soul in the game was turned blue, indicating that gravity was affecting it, and it was pushed down. Bones then sprung forth and before Starlight could even say “Oh crap”, her soul had already lost a majority of its health. Panicking, Starlight made her soul bounce upward, falsely assuming she would be safe. He was wrong, as her soul turned back to red and was forced to the right and to navigate a safe path through bones “AGH, FUCK WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!” she yelled in shock/ Again, Starlight in her panic couldn’t think clearly and it cost her more HP. After she cleared the maze, she was met with four demonic looking skulls firing lasers at her and eventually killing her, resulting in a game over screen.
Starlight was at a complete loss for words. “…What in the actual fuck?”
“PFFFFFHAHAHAHA” Twlight fell off of her chair laughing loudly at Starlight’s unfortunate demise. “O-OH MY GOSH THE HOURS OF STAYING UP WAS WORTH IT!~” she laughed.
Starlight looked down at Twilight with an angrier than usual look on her face. “You knew that was coming the whole time?!?!”
“Of course I did!~” Twilight laughed. “You DID kind of kill Sans’ brother, you can’t expect him to go easy on you.”
At that, Starlight’s mind that had been previously filled with rage and anger at Twilight was replaced with pure fear at what that implied. Her face fell into a shocked frown and her eyes widened. “…You mean…I actually have to fight him?...that’s not just a fake out boss or anything?”
“Nnnnope…have fun~”
A few MORE hours later.
Starlight had officially had it. Sans had killed her a total of 147 times in a row, and ever since she started this, even with his attack patterns burned into her subconscious, it wasn’t looking like she was getting much closer to beating him. Her breathing was getting shallow now and she wanted more than anything for this orchestra of sensory fuckness and bones to just END. She may have had the option to quit and give up on the game entirely, but she could NOT accept that. Not when Twilight was watching.
“Do you need another energy drink Starlight?” Twilight asked.
“Considering that I’m running on only sheer determination and caffeine right now, yes.” Starlight said grumbled, her eye twitching a little from rage and sleep deprivation. Twilight nodded and exited the room. She came back a moment later with the most caffeine infused energy drink she had in the castle and gave it to her. “Thanks.” Starlight said quickly, opening the energy drink and chugging it down as fast as she could before tossing it into a nearby wastebasket…
That was already overflowing with cans of the same brand.
“You know you could just stop now and call it a night Starlight.” Twilight said to her.
“NO! I WILL NOT BE UNDONE, NOT NOW!” Starlight yelled. She’d been going at this for so long and had been killed so many times that Sans had become the only character in the game she actually wanted to die. That smug smile on his face, combined with the fact through the entire fight she was unable to land a single hit on him was driving her close to insanity. But she refused to stop. She was Starlight Glimmer, the unicorn that could go hoof-to-hoof with Princess Twilight and was able to travel through time and change the course of history. She would NOT be beaten by a lazy, hoodie wearing comedian like this. “FIGHT ON EVEN PLAYING FIELD YOU NIHLISTIC ASSHOLE!” Starlight yelled angrily at the screen.
She thought she’d finally reached enlightenment when all of a sudden, Sans stopped attacking. He was saying something about how he could “see a good person inside of her” or whatever. She’d already stopped caring about the dialogue at around death #27. When he was done talking though, four glorious words appear in the box at the bottom of the screen.
*Sans is sparing you.
Starlight tried to work through her anger and think about what this meant for her right now. On one hoof, from what she knew of the game, sparing someone ended the battle immediately. She knew this would mean the end of the Genocide route and make everything she went through before utterly meaningless. At this point though, she didn’t care. She just wanted it all to stop where she could finally go to bed and be done with Sans forever.
“You know what?...I’m done with this Genocide crap. I’m a good pony, I’m sparing him.” She said as she clicked “Spare”
Starlight was still looking at the screen so she didn’t see the smile on Twilight’s face get even bigger.
Sans then began to speak again. “…you’re sparing me? finally. buddy. pal. i know how hard it must be to make that choice. to go back on everything you’ve worked up to. i want to let you know…i won’t let it go to waste.” San’s then opened his arms as if he was going to offer a hug. “…c’mere. pal”
Starlight let her guard down and sighed in sweet relief. “Oh thank Celestia it’s finally ov-“ she only got a moment of this though before a huge wall of bones covered the entire box her soul was trapped in, making taking damage completely unavoidable. “AGH NO WHAT THE FUCK?!” Starlight yelled, pointlessly trying to move her soul around in a desperate but futile attempt to escape. Eventually her soul ran out of HP and shattered. This brought her to the game over screen, only the music was entirely different than before and entirely cheerful and upbeat. To add insult to injury, three of the most insulting words Starlight had ever laid eyes upon scrolled across the screen.
“geeettttttt dunked on!!!”
Starlight’s jaw hung open at that. She was at a complete loss for words over what just happened. She’d spent hours on this one boss, having killed everything before now and going through hell to get where she was, only for none of it to matter in the long run. “…I-I…tried to be the g-good pony in this playthrough for once…a-and…I got…d-dunked on?!”
Twilight meanwhile was now howling with laughter at seeing Sans utterly destroy Starlight at the end of the battle and was now on the floor. “OH MY CELESTIA I WAS HOPING YOU’D DO THAT! HAHAHAAHA!” Twilight laughed, holding her stomach, trying and failing to retain her laughter. “I-I’m sorry I shouldn’t be laughing. B-But….I-I can’t help it! A-At least you got to hear that great music for so long right?!”
Starlight did not acknowledge Twilight’s comment whatsoever, and her face hadn’t changed in the slightest since the game over screen popped up. She just sat there and stared at the computer in disbelief and denial, taking in everything that happened, hoping that she was just having a bad dream and that none of this was real.
Twilight, seeing now that Starlight hadn’t said anything at all, was starting to actually get a little concerned over this. She stood up and trotted over to her, lightly tapping her shoulder. “…Starlight?”
Twilight trotted into the computer shop the next morning with an unamused and deadpanned look on her face, also carrying a large bucket in her magic. The cashier, a dorky looking purple Pegasus stallion with glasses, took one look at the princess of friendship and immediately stood up. “Y-Your highness, what can I do for you?” he asked nervously.
Twilight put the bucket on the counter and lightly tipped it forward, showing that inside was a thick, hot, grey liquid inside of it. “Yes…the warranty on this computer hasn’t expired yet has it?...it umm…overheated…” she said, smiling a little sheepishly.
The cashier took one look inside the bucket and raised an eyebrow at her, as if to say “How the fuck did this happen?”
Twilight said nothing for a moment before letting out a defeated sigh. “…My roommate got dunked on by a skeleton in a video game…she didn’t take it well.”
The cashier knew immediately what Twilight was talking about and nodded. “Oooooh…”
I've never played Undertale nor do I ever intend to. However, this amused me.
10/10
147 times in a row? Damn she must suck at dodging so bad i actually wonder how she fared against Undyne the Undying. I beat Sans after dying 10 times in a row. The 5th death being the time i spared him.
6806200 Yeaaaaaah...
Keyboard+hooves+sleep deprived+Sans=HELL
6806211 Don't you think that Equestria would've made keyboards for hooves? She also could've used magic to use a regular keyboard and i killed Sans once with only a single hand without getting hit. It's not really that hard compared to Omega Flowey's attacks since they don't stop and are totally RNG.
6806226 They probably would have yeah now that I think about it. Though again, Starlight was already emotionally drained from the Genocide run, sleep deprived, and is one of those kinds of people that gets angry very easily (given her backstory it's basically canon at this point) and basically the angrier she gets the worst she does and less focused she is. Add that to the Sans fight which is SUPPOSED to be cheap and unfair, and you get this.
As for the whole magic thing, yeah she COULD have, but with Twilight standing right there watching her, she didn't wanna look like she was cheating.
6806242 Just how exactly can she cheat with magic? It's not like she would give her character infinite health that way,that's hacking.
6806265 It's kind of my headcanon that in terms of video games that using magic to operate the controller would end up making said game be too easy. Basically in video game tournaments magic would be banned from being used. Or in Starlight Glimmer's case here, it's kind of a pride thing.
To be honest this story's not meant to be taken ALL that serious. It's just Starlight going through Hell in the Sans battle with Twilight laughing.
on a scale of 1 to 10, this gets at most a 500
LOL. I've never played Undertale (Eventually, after watching Fairy Tail, Deadman Wonderland, playing 5 Guardians, finishing BO3 campaign, and playing Just Cause), and even I expected that ending.
6807075 Here's a video for you.
And one more.
This was amazing.
6808486 Nah. No spoilers.
6809601 The second video has zero spoilers, since you already know that the Sans fight is a thing.
6809873 Oh. Sure, then.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
SEQUEL PLEASE I WANT STARLIGHT TO WIN.
I could tell exactly what was going to happen from the title alone, but still fun to read. "I'd like to replace this computer. This was a computer, I swear."
Starlight should complete this Genocide Run and then go for another True Pacifist, not understanding what "the terms" of restarting the universe meant…until that ending…
6811436 If I do a sequel at any point, that's probably what's going to happen.
6811078 And then meet Chara
6806278 I'd think that pony telekinesis would be like having several hands at once, which wouldn't be an advantage over two actual hands in this case...
So if I had to guess, Starlight ended up following Sans' advice afterwards without knowing it. Game-wise, I mean.
"if we're really friends... you won't come back."
(Minor side note is that I don't particularly like Undertale. I like the skeleton brothers and the music, though, so there's no way I could skip this one.)
*Slow claps*
Brilliant.
And THAT is why I stick to pacifist.
You know, a sans-esque fight could have very well been a interesting alternate ending to The Cutie Re-Mark. (Albeit with genuine sparing instead Starlight getting dunked on.)
derpicdn.net/img/2015/12/1/1034675/large.png
6886440 That would have been a MUCH better ending. Punishment for her badness but showing she still has a chance if she took Twilight's offer of mercy.
I sort of want to write a fic similar to this now.
Sort of a hidden message behind this entire fic: Twilight making Starlight do the Genocide run without any sort of heads up and having to fight Sans is her punishment and Starlight doesn't even realize it. Twilight's computer may have been a casualty but the entire scenario was needed in the end.
Great story but instead of "ooooohh" you should try this
Awww.... I was hoping she would have beat the genocide route, refused to reset the world, get the sh*t scared out of her by Chara, THEN do the true pacifist route, only to get scared by Chara again...
Oh well, Twilight having a melted computer was funny to.
6923239 This is probably going to be a thing
6923257
yay!
Wow. I think if I wanted to be evil I would also do that... maybe.
6806200 Well, Sans IS the hardest boss.
Meh.
Cue the air horns!
This is amazing, and I love it. geeettttttt dunked on!
6928659 is he really? or are you the real final boss?
And then Twilight throws Starlight into Tartarus screaming GET DUNKED ON! Interesting parallel between Chara vs Sans and Starlight vs Twilight
The cashier understands.
Poor Starlight. Twilight, she probably needs therapy.
Like everyone probably does after several hours spent trying to kill Sans.
I did this to my sister
7177233 earthbound takes that spot
Omg I'm laughing I can't even breathe and so much tears
Me during that part, died 2 seconds in
Who else used cheats and realized it wouldn't work on sans /)/)
7177233 I never played the Genocide run, but I did beat Sans in the Bad Time Simulator, just to see if I could.
And to hear the song, of course.
This is a great concept, but please edit it a bit - it seems a bit unpolished right now.
Also, I know that you can assume that Undertale fans will know some things about the game, but it is better from a literary standpoint to allude to those facts subtly instead of making it obvious that the reader should know those things.
Cashier: I'm sorry, Princess, but our policy doesn't cover fire, theft or act of Sans.
OOf I didn't need all the F-bombs but this was awesome and amazing. Poor Starlight though you kinda deserve it for what you did to time and Twilight; though Twilert was hilariously mean. Sans took her out, LOL. Also...was the insurance covered or not?! XD
I have an acquaintance who was trampled by Undyne about thirty times and dropped his Sans fifty times.