Rock Bottom

Cutie Mark(ed) Crusaders2,629 stories ·500 members

If you were going to die in a few moments, what would you think about?
In the woods, Button Mash thinks about his eminent death, and the choices that he made so far.

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Hope Caster

Hope Caster #1 · Jan 13th, 2016 · · · Conscience ·

I have to say, this could have been handled a lot better in terms of length and execution. It majorly suffered from the style. The tags 'he said, she said' are in our language for a reason. Don’t use color coded sentences to make use guess, tell us who said what to whom. There are also a few spelling errors.

That being said, the concept has a lot of potential. Being a fresh one, the idea of Button not only seeing Sweetie date someone else, but being unable to sway her affections in the end was like a breath of fresh air. I was personally shocked and impressed that it didn't happen at the end of this, and I love the maturity he has when originally confronted with it. Sweetie tells her friends something that to her is good news and being the bigger pony, Button doesn't complain, he doesn't whine about it, he's happy for her. Sure, he tries to, I hate using this word, "win" her over, but then again, it's only a testament that he's human, that he's hopeful, because, let's be honest, anyone would try to "win" the girl that they loved, but it's an even bigger testament to his character that he does not use some underhanded strategy to "win", or at least none that we were shown or alluded to. Heck, there’s even a bit of defeat and bitterness at the end of this. Button turned from being the brave martyr to ‘weak’ colt in need of saving. Weak being very loosely used as the willingness to give yourself for others shows a strength beyond normal.

Now, there were a few issues near the end like the error of Rainbow Dash being called Rainbom and the fact that Rainbow Dash called Button a weakling. No offense, but I personally think Rainbow would have named Button Mash gutsiest colt alive or something. The dialogue should have gone something like: “Is that the weakling you told me about, Scoots? No offense, but a guy like this is hardly weak. What he did takes guts. More than any in any colt I’ve ever met.” The ending itself seems kinda weak and a bit rushed. Without proper build up, the story once again suffers from the surprise ship at the end, it just seems out of left field. Again, you have a very interesting concept, but the story suffers from the execution.

Hyrulean Brony