After Death
Ponies have always been afraid of death and what it may bring. They fear the solitude of eternity, but who's to say that there is anything to fear? Nopony has ever came back from the dead to tell their tale, and for that matter, nopony ever will. The memories of our lifetime reside deep within our minds, hidden away until our final moments in this world. In your final moments of life after death, you have 7 minutes to relive your life. Funny thing it is how the brain has 7 minutes of activity after you supposedly 'die'.
Twilight Sparkle stood in a vast abyss of nothingness, unsure of where she was or how she had gotten there in the first place. She looked around frantically, trying to scan the abyss for any possible exit or somepony to tell her where she was.
'Twilight!' she could hear Rainbow Dash call to her, 'Twilight! Wake up!'
'I am awake Rainbow!' she yelled back to Dash.
'Guys! She's not breathing...' Rainbow Dash yelled.
'But I am breathing...' Twilight told herself.
She could hear the gathering of ponies all around her, varied whispers echoing through the darkness even though there was nopony to be found. The sound of stammering hooves became louder as she felt a violent tug over her body as if she was being lifted and dropped onto something. Twilight ran with no idea of where she was going, but she knew that she needed to get out of where ever she was. The abyss was starting to scare her more than it had when she had first arrived. Noises were everywhere: from the sound of hooves on tile to a lone monotone noise, she wanted out. She needed out, the noises reminded her of the hospital she had to visit many times when Rainbow had hurt herself in one way of another. The beep had that same tone of her heart monitor, but it was longer, and never stopped. It continued as she ran, before she slowed herself down to a stop. She knew that terrifying noise... It was the heart monitor of somepony who's heart had sto–
'CLEAR!'
'Wha– AUGH!' Twilight screamed in pain as she felt a jolt of electricity flow through her body, nearly collapsing.
'CLEAR!'
This time, she could hear the whine of whatever it was charging. 'Please – NAUGH!' Twilight fell to the ground, her muscles aching from whatever had been shocking her. A wave of fatigue came over her body as she tried to stand. She fought it off momentarily, before it came back again with a vengeance. The thud of her body echoed as she fell. Twilight was barely able to keep her eyes open, the fatigue pushing them closed with more and more force each time she resisted.
'I c–can't be... dead...' Twilight mumbled in a slur as she lost all connection with her mind and body.
Twilight lay in bed peacefully, the moonlight casting a slight shadow through her window. Spike was still asleep in his bed across the room. The sleep Twilight was having was becoming less peaceful by the moment. Beads of sweat were building on her forehead while she clutched her foalhood stuffed animal for dear life. Her breathing became sporadic, and she jolted up in her bed, throwing her hooves to her side to keep her balance. Twilight looked around the room, as if she was expecting to be somewhere else altogether.
A heavy sigh escaped her lungs as she lay back down looking straight up at the ceiling. It must have just been a dream... she thought to herself as she wiped the sweat off of her forehead. There was something that felt like she had been here before. She looked over to her calendar, which had been tipped over on her nightstand. Twilight picked it up, but where she expected there to be a date, there was only a blank sheet of paper. Looking through the entire calendar, she noticed that they were all blank sheets.
'Spike!'
'Uh... oh, what Twi? What could you possibly need at 3 in the morning?' Spike asked her while pointing to an alarm clock in his hands.
'Wait... What did you just say?' she asked Spike with a confused look on her face.
'Well, I asked you what you could possibly need at 3 in the morning. Something wrong Twilight?' he asked, noticing that Twilight had begun to whisper to herself.
'It can't be...' Twilight told herself, 'It just can't be...'
Twilight rolled out of the sheets, and ran downstairs into the main lobby of the library. Books came flying off the shelves in a violet aura. There was a certain book somewhere that she felt was necessary to get answers. She needed that book to understand why this was happening. These events... just seemed so familiar to her. It had happened before, there was no doubt in her mind that it had, but the events had unfolded slightly differently. After a few minutes of sorting through hundreds of books coming off the wall, she found the one that she was looking for.
'Equine Brain Function and Activity' it read. She had recently used this book to teach the young fillies at the School about how their brains had worked, but for most of them they didn't seem to understand it one bit. There was one tidbit of information that she had found most interesting while teaching the fillies. It was on the tip of her tongue, she just needed something to give her that push to remember exactly what it was that she needed to know. Flipping through the pages of the book, she noticed that some pages were missing in the chapter labeled 'Activity After Death'.
The book ceased to be encased in the aura as it fell to the floor, and she finally realized why the calendar was blank and why she had such a severe case of deja vu. She was reliving the memory that she had always wanted to re-do. This was the day that she had wished she had the chance to tell that special somepony about the way she really felt about her. Today was going to be the day...
The world around Twilight began to flicker and disappear in random pieces, some of it coming back while others never did. The fabric of this reality was beginning to tear apart. She had to tell her how she really felt, like she had always wanted to do. Now was her chance to do it. She bolted out the door of the tree-house, the streets of Ponyville only lit by the various street lamps. Her hooves carried her through the streets of Ponyville, heading to the town square where Sugarcube Corner was located. Twilight came to an abrupt stop in front of Sugarcube Corner. I really hope that Pinkie is here... she thought to herself.
'Of course I'm here, silly!' Pinkie called out from the second story window.
'How... what I was... how?' She asked Pinkie.
'I'm Pinkie Pie! Duh! Hehe,' Pinkie said to Twilight with a slight giggle.
'Pinkie, I really need to tell you something. I don't know how to tell you, but since you know what I'm thinking already, you probably already know. All I wanted to say Pinkie is, I love you.'
Tears began to flow from Pinkies eyes as she put her head in her hooves, a muffled 'I love you too' coming from her. A tear formed in Twilight's eye as she opened her mouth to let her know how much she cared for her, even if she did get angry with her at times. Before she could speak a single syllable, the entire town disappeared before her, replaced with the black abyss once again. The familiar tone of the heart monitor filled the void, echoing through her mind. She came to accept the fact that she was fading, and even though she hadn't told the real Pinkie Pie how she felt, she had told a Pinkie Pie. That was enough to put her mind at rest, so that she could leave peacefully. She sat back onto her haunches, waiting for it all to go black.
A hoof collided with Twilight's chest, knocking her over. She looked around, expecting to see somepony around her. But there was nothing there again; just the darkness that seemed to attack her being. Another hoof came into contact with her chest, but with much more force than the last. The walls around her began to change, and for a slight moment she thought that she could see all of her friends standing over her.
'Twilight! Don't go! I LOVE YOU TOO!' a hysterical Pinkie shouted.
Twilight looked up towards the sound, a rushing of senses coming back over while the world materialized around her. Pain streaked throughout her body, attacking every muscle. Twilight cracked her eyes open, looking around her. She was surrounded by her friends, Pinkie Pie sitting over her pounding on her chest trying to wake her.
'Pinkie...' Twilight said feebly before the pink hoof reached her chest.
'Twilight! You're back!' Pinkie yelled at the top of her lungs, crushing Twilight in her embrace.
Twilight smiled at the antics of the pink pony. 'I love you, Pinkie.'
'I love you too, Twilight,' Pinkie replied under her breath slightly loosening her grip on Twilight.
Both of the ponies had a smile plastered on their faces. Pinkie looked deep into Twilight's eyes, slowly leaning towards her face. Pinkies sugary lips came into contact with Twilight's, a spark of warmth and happiness surging through Twilight. A corner of the room slightly flickered, the reality barely stable. Twilight didn't notice it or anypony else in the room; she was happy with the pink party pony that stood over her.
Who are you to say if we are dead or alive? There is always that possibility that you are living in those 7 minutes. We can't ever tell if we are in reality, or simply floating in the space of our own mind after death. After all, the things that make it real, the pain and suffering, will always be there. We all have the chance to live the way we wished we had lived during those 7 minutes; but since you cannot possibly know whether you are there, live every moment as if it was your last and take advantage of every opportunity.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- P0nies · 1.4k words · 45 4 · 1.4k views
- P0nies · 2.9k words · 175 6 · 7.4k views
- P0nies · 1.2k words · 67 1 · 2.2k views
- ChaoticHarmony · 6.9k words · 50 2 · 2.3k views
- P0nies · 1.7k words · 59 3 · 1.8k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.835 seconds
Total duration
991 users online
75,087 hits today, 2,378,215 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
rlv.zcache.com/me_gusta_face_text_postcard-p239986862933170582baanr_400.jpg
704488 Actually surprised that this was actually like-able
Thats pretty deep
and sightly depressing
I can't hold all these feels man
I don't get it.
That was beautiful
Gets kinda confusing at the end. I thought she was supposed to be dead?
Story was good.
Funny thing is, I was thinking about a similar concept in some sort of mental-debate I was having. Everything you do becomes a "memory", so who's to say the present isn't already the past?
Anyway, too deep. Can't give half-decent review. :D
P0nies..... This was truly touching. Liked, faved, and advertised on EFR.
The "seven minutes" are higly dependant on cause of death and definition of dead. For example, if you define "dead" as without brain activity then by definition you don't have brain activity for seven minutes afterwards
One question: At the end, did she revive or was it just a construct of her desperate mind, denying the fact that her death was final?
Please say she really revived....
Huh. Makes you think a bit. I don't usually like vague endings, but this one works alright.
Good stuff man. I read something about how we could be dead right now an re-living life in a dream-state during these seven minutes. But it would be a lot like a dream, and in dreams time is distorted. Reminded me of it; really good story.
That was very heartwarming, is a sad sort of way. Good story.
(also, at the very beginning -
'Guys! She's not breathing...' Rainbow dash yelled.
Dash should be capitalized)
I would watch the first seven minutes of Source Code, die, then go back and watch the next seven minutes even though I had already watched Source Code 3 times.
I don't care about the deja vu, because after reading this description this is exactly what I've already felt. It would just be a familiar feeling, just like what this story appears to be. However, this story doesn't give me a good familiar feel. It just gives me a sense of repetition that has already been done in a perfect way.
In summary: this story reminds me of Source Code, but I refuse to read it because Source Code was a perfect movie.
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcShRoGyro6MpkZj6-VqaSwDqVo2C_KoLCx8d76-29kdVxgnGVoWIFL61y4g8g
The train is my logic.
Postmortem - Slayer
Happy National Day of Slayer! FUCKIN' SLAYER!
Nicely done. I really like writing that digs a little deeper with it's themes and this does a good job. Reading this also gave me a great idea for the fic I'm writing right now so I really appreciate that. However, I probably would have ended the fic with "A corner of the room slightly flickered, the reality barely stable" and leave out the ending philosophy. Your readers will fill in the meaning themselves. Make room for them to think a little deeper.
Other than that this is definitely a step above the average writing piece. Good job.
Seven minutes... Well, time to get crackin' folks! Life isn't gonna last too much longer!
Very nice story all around. It's heart warming, sad, and dark enough where it counts.
Holy crap. This touched my heart.
Everypony try reading this again while listening to: http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch/?v=5wCD-S0XKm8
kinda short
So is she still dead because of the "flicker" in the corner of the room? Regardless, I really liked this story. Kudos
706658 I'm going to single your comment out and say really mean things about it as an example, so brace yourself.
[rant]
An author writes a story to entertain and appease his/her audience, this is a universal fact no matter how much the author denies it. Now this is something mostly unrelated, but needed to drive my point.
To make this easy to understand and digest, I'll use a (terrible) metaphor.
Imagine you just spent the last few days creating a beautiful going away card for your crush, depicting through many sly notions that you've loved him/her for years without actually saying it out right while also wishing them the best of luck wherever they may go. As they're boarding the train to leave, you give them the card, causing them to pause and read through it on the platform. This is it, your one last chance to confess your love for them. Maybe you'll even get a small kiss for your efforts. After finishing it once, they give you a blank look, say 'I don't get it.', and throw it at your feet before turning around and leaving for good without another word.
I don't have to ask how you would feel in this situation, but for the sake of my point, I'll say you'd feel pretty bad and down about this.
Back to the story, I know most of that did not apply, but that is essentially what it feels like to be an author and hear that.
Its almost as bad as saying 'Its flawless.' (If that went over your head, what I'm saying is that if you call a story 'flawless' or 'perfect' or something like that, you're suggesting unintentionally that the story, no matter how much time and effort are spent, cannot get any better. This is insulting because that is what any 'artist' sees in their work of art, flaws.)
Down to the main point, if you're going to say something short and sweet in the comments, at least try to make it at the very least a sentence long explaining why you liked/hated it or why you did not understand it. Use examples if you must, or metaphors like I did up there ^^^.
TL;DR: DON'T BE A MASSIVE FAGGOT, PEOPLE WORK HARD ON THIS SHIT
[/rantmode]
Now back to my thoughts on the story.
While it was fairly short, it told a competent enough story without assuming the reader was an idiot. (ex. how the Twi/Pie was revealed without blatantly explaining everything, this is a good thing) Some grammatical errors are present, but not overbearing other than how you persistently (and very incorrectly) use the (') instead of a (") when a character speaks. This may seem like a small thing (liek omg jsut a lil line! Sotp being so butthurts!), but it is very annoying to a seasoned reader of any sort.
In brief, it was a fun look into a concept without being obtuse. Well done, you can count on me being a future reader.
Have a like bro.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cTrQGOGT_g
I was listening to this as I read the story, and it fitted
For some reason [url] wouldnt link
707025
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/oh-my-god-who-the-hell-cares.jpg
This was the best macro I could find
Why don't you take your 600 word rant and type something that somebody would actually appreciate? =
It's not worth it for one four-word statement.
fave'd. very thought provoking, and something i wondered about myself. It's a little unclear whats happening towards the middle with the blank calendar.
Wait.... What if we reset, and become a new person every seven minutes, with the old person's memories?
That was quite interesting! Kept me motivated throughout the whole story!
You get points for TwiPie, and you lose points for lack of development on Twilight accepting her death. I mean, really, she just confessed her love, got the best possible answer, then everything comes crashing and she doesn't cry, doesn't fight, doesn't beg?
I liked this, even if the calls of the reality faltering were kind of forced
707058 I've been watching him do it for months, I finally snapped. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
> The memories of our lifetime reside deep within our minds, hidden away until our final moments in this world. In your final moments of life after death, you have 7 minutes to relive your life. Funny thing it is how the brain has 7 minutes of activity after you supposedly 'die'.
The neurobiologist in me was pissed. The period of activity after death is caused by neurons releasing their potentials as they die - sort of like how rigor mortis causes corpses to be still.
As for what the person perceives, we can extrapolate - seizures are a massive burst of activity in the brain and yet people don't remember those happening.
707025 I didn't intend for my comment to sound like I didn't like the story; I did, it was very well written (I really liked the author's word choice). I'm just confused by the ending: Did Twilight live or die? Was the last part a dream or something? The only reason whether Twi lives or dies is in question is the way she acts; it almost sounds like she doesn't notice.
Yes, I do realize how hard it is to write stories. I have spent the last month and a half dealing with a writer's block and I'm only 80% done with chapter 1. (I don't like it being implied that I'm an idiot, by the way)
706688 Its going to make me sound like an idiot, but what is EFR?
707010 Im asking you, is she dead? But Glad you liked!
706877 Well thanks
706822 I actually forgot about source code.... But it was a good movie.
707025 I might go back and change the ' to " but I feel its less chunky when i use the '.
Thanks for reading guys! I really appreciate it!
707137 Well I'm going to imply that you're an idiot again because you've done this kind of thing not once, not twice, not even three times. I've seen you do it for every story I've seen you comment on so far, that works out to be a 100% ratio of three word reviews that usually can be summed up in even fewer words; the main ones being 'indecisive', 'illiterate' and 'inconsiderate'.
What I'm getting at is, if you're going to say anything at all, make sure it looks like you actually believed in it. For example, what you typed in that response was a great use of wording, concise, to the point and it shows your entire opinion. Was it really that hard?
PS: When you say something like "I don't like it being implied that I'm an idiot, by the way", It makes you look like a (excuse my choice of words here, I wish to get this point to stick for longer than a tenth of a nano second) like an annoying whining bitch, or in most cases a target for trolls (somewhat like I). If someone does or says something you don't agree with, don't yell at them or say you don't like it, because contrary to popular belief, this only makes it worse. Make a well thought out opinion and enforce it with points and examples instead. It works much better, and it usually leads to a better community all around.
707233 EFR stands for Everfree Radio... It is a popular brony music site... You should check it out. Google it
707242 Oh alright. Should've known it was Everfree. But thanks for advertising for me
That's deep makes me think I'm living a lifetime in those 7 minutes, and when I die there I'll go deeper into another 7 minutes...inception!...deathception?
Pinkie pie don't care for the fabric of reality
Was honestly a bit confused about this, not trying to get into a religous war here you all but I always (and still believe due to seriously meeting him) thought that Death came to collect your soul after you died, how did it go from Twi dying to being alive to loving Pinkie Pie? (which I don't mind one bit as Pinkie is awesome, although in my view best pair ever created and will always be is Spike/Twilight) still impressed by the pairing though. But yeah, I thought Death was going to take Twi to the pony afterlife? Mind clearing that up for me or does it truely not matter?
707235 I rarely comment on stories, so I'm not really sure what you're talking about. I also don't see how I appear to be illiterate; Please practice what you preach and provide examples for said instances of illiteracy.
It is you who are being trolled, not I.
707137
It's not about whether you liked it or not, dummkopf. You didn't elaborate why you didn't understand the story, leaving a half-assed comment there.
707410
Gotta love hypocrisy, don't ya?
Just want to point out the typo in the description. It's "choose" not "chose"
In my head:
At the same time.
707355 The way I intended it to be was that by the end of the story, Twilight is still dead, and that pretty much is the afterlife. At the end, I wrote something to the manner of "You never know whether you are ever really dead or alive, so make the most of every moment", so that can make it to where at the end scene she might think she is living, but the hint towards the flickering reality suggests she is dead. Kinda confusing, I know.
706658 I'm going to be honest, I don't see why they are attacking you
708188 ponies be haters is all.
I didn't expect everyone to get this fic.
708279 fair enough.
good story
also, thank you for making me go and listen a7x afterlife again XD
708429 No problem!
absolutely beautiful.
Not bad. Liked and faved for appreciation
that was deep
i liked it