Mmmm.
Warm. Forcing my eyes open I saw nothing but stars. Oh... heh.
Carefully moving Luna's mane out of my eyes, I slid out from beneath her wing, rolled off the bed onto my hooves, and snuck out of the sphere of silence before I stretched with a yawn.
As nice as it was to wake up like that, those feathers were damn warm and I couldn't stay like that for long. Besides, I was getting hungry.
Yawning again, I exited the bedroom, closing the door behind me before I grinned. A tray with sandwiches and a teapot were already sitting on the table in the study, the tea piping hot.
Making a mental note to something nice for the entire waiting staff for Hearthswarming, I moved up to grab a sandwich and pour myself a cup of tea before I frowned. Speaking of thanks...
Putting the sandwich back down, I moved to the door to the stairs and poked my head out, “Skitter, you might as well come in.” before I walked back inside.
As expected, the changeling had been sitting there, waiting.
The changeling in mostly unicorn form walked inside. The only thing differing her from any other white unicorns was her wings. Her usual chosen way to show what she really was.
“Did you sleep well, sir?” She asked as she entered, stopping only a couple of meters in, closing the door behind her.
I nodded, “I did. And you?”
“Well enough, sir.”
“Sandwich?”
“No thank you, sir.”
Sighing I turned to her, dropping my sandwich again, “Look, Skitter. I would like to thank you for the save last night. We could likely have disabled him on our own, but even so. Thank you.”
She scraped her hoof on the floor, “I did my duty, sir. I have been tasked by the Queen herself to serve as your protector. There are significantly worse tasks to be given and it is one I enjoy far more than attacking Canterlot. No thanks are necessary.”
I frowned at her, “I think they are. What you did was dangerous and you did it to defend me... and more importantly, Princess Luna. You were not even meant to follow us that day. If I remember right, I specifically gave you yesterday off!”
She smiled slightly at that, “While you do have limited authority over me, Lord Page, you can not countermand the orders from your Princesses, nor my Queen. Both have tasked me with keeping you safe.”
Stubborn bug.
Rolling my eyes at her, I took a sip of my tea before walking up to her, “Stay still.”
“Wha...” she started to ask before I turned in the same direction as she was before pressing my side against hers, resting my head across the back of her neck as I closed my eyes and thought of waking up next to Luna.
Skitters' side seemed to turn cold and hard as I focused.
I stayed like that for almost thirty seconds before Skitter shied away and I almost stumbled, her hoof quickly supporting me before I tripped. Getting my balance back, I blinked a couple of times. Holy hell, I feel like I just had a training session with Luna!
“I'm fine.” I said as I stood up straight, “Just a bit tired again. How was that?”
Skitter looked worried, “I'm fine, sir. Do you know what you just did?”
“Fed you, I believe?”
The changeling looked annoyed and she buzzed her wings in annoyance, “You filled me up. I can't hold any more love, there is enough to bring back to the hive!”
“...That's not a good thing?”
Skitter hesitated slightly before she nodded, “Yes...”
“And if I'm not wrong, I'll be back to normal in a week?”
She sighed, “You will be completely back to normal in a day or two. By tonight you won't notice it much. You could probably feed another two changelings at a time if you were fully... drained. But you really shouldn't have done that, Lord Page. I was tasked with protecting you, not feeding from you. What I get from the background of simply being around is enough to sustain me.”
Moving back to the couch so I could lie down, I frowned at her, “But you are getting enough, right? We're not starving you or anything, are we?”
Skitter shook her head and stopped buzzing, “No, sir. Unless you gather love for the hive to feed the little ones, that is the normal way to gather enough love for sustenance. Spend time around ponies or other beings in love. Usually they give off enough in the air that you won't starve.” before she admitted, “Before all this I worked in a nightclub. There was always enough emotions in the air to live... love was rare, but there was enough of others that I didn't starve. This is better. Even enough to improve my magic some.”
“Well, this don't hurt me and it's not like I need to give you this much every time. But let me know if you are hungry and I can give you a bit of a boost.”
“But sir...”
“No arguing. You are my protector, right?”
She sighed, “Yes, sir. Which is why I'm not meant to feed from you!”
“And more love improve your powers, right? That's how Queen Chrysalis had any sort of chance against Princess Celestia?”
“...Yes, sir.”
“Then doesn't it make sense for you to have all the powers you need to keep me safe?“
She didn't seem to appreciate my logic from her expression, her faintly glowing green eyes narrowing at me before she nodded,”...Yes, sir.” she finally admitted, “Yes it does.”
“Good.” I said and sipped at my tea before adding a couple of spoonfulls of sugar, under the same logic that it helped blood donors and I felt like I needed the energy, “So, anything on the agenda today?”
“Nothing scheduled, sir.” she said, green fire crawling over her chitin in less than a second, far faster than I seen her do it before and she was back in her white unicorn disguise, “But I have been told to relay that the Princess of Food and her husband has returned. As soon as Princess Luna is awake, Captain Armor will be able to see her.”
Princess of...
I almost fell off the couch laughing.
I know I did
Princess of Food. Capitalized of course!
Please oh please make a Changeling drop this name somewhere Cadance can hear it! It would be hilarious!
Awesome update speed by the way!
Princess of Food?
Species Translation boo boo or slight at Cadence?
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Well, seeing as changelings can't feel love but do feed on it, it would make sense for them to call Cadence with a title they understand better. Even so, it really doesn't make it any less hilarious for the rest of us.
Can't wait till Candence hears about this, she will never live it down
6796147 true enough
And when Cadence hears of it, she will try and prove she can live up to that title in the Pony way as well as the Changeling way.
*cue epic kitchen montage*
Oh God. Princess of food. I lost it.
orig14.deviantart.net/b99f/f/2016/003/7/7/skitter_by_sipioc-d9moft8.jpg my Best Changeling: SKITTER!!!
Took me a full minute before I realized who the Princess of Food was.
I've made comments similar to this in my own story, how changelings would likely revere Cadance as the Alicorn of Life. It makes sense, right? She's a living, breathing beacon of love.
For a moment, I though Skitter was speaking of Luna & Page. Then it hit me
So, I'm guessing the Crystal Heart would be-- ? The God Of Food Rock?
Princess of Food derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/11/5/465004__safe_solo_princess+cadance_fat_cake_artist-colon-calorie.png
Also...Since your character is doing a little "mature" rated detective story...How dark will it be?
This much?
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This dark: Jericho
6872591 Ooohh... that's dark, but it'd be a good read....
Wait what?
*reread paragraph
HOLY COWS ON A CHEESE STICK, IM DYING
altight who posted a pic?
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Perfect
Princess of Food!? That's it! This is my new favorite quote!!!!
6798155 beacon, or bacon?
i would like to have the title of "princess of bacon"! or muffins!
BEST NAME FOR CADENCE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAAAA!!!! I LAUGHED SO HARD!!!! omg that's amazing....
Princess of Food....
God damn you! I'm in college reading this in my break time and i can't laugh out loud here!
My chest is hurting because of your magnificent comedy skills!
I'm floored right now oh my god
At first I thought of Celestia before it dawned on me that a changeling probably would think of Cadence that way. XD
“Well, this don't hurt me and it's not like I need to give you this much every time.
I feel that this might be better. Well this doesn't hurt me.
Shouldn't Shining be the "prince of food"? After all, not only has he married into royalty, but he loves her... right? Right? (Theme from Married with Children plays)
PS: That first sentence I quoted should end with the phrase "have returned", not "has returned".
He isn't the only one!
“Nothing scheduled, sir.” she said, green fire crawling over her chitin in less than a second, far faster than I seen her do it before and she was back in her white unicorn disguise, “But I have been told to relay that the Princess of Food and her husband has returned. As soon as Princess Luna is awake, Captain Armor will be able to see her.”
Princess of...
I almost fell off the couch laughing.
there was a loop where somepony (i forget who) told Chrysalis that Tirek was a threat to Cadence and she said "The Princess of Food is in danger?" (i paraphrased a little). Tirek was promptly crushed under a swarm of changelings coming to her rescue.
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i like it. i can see enough similarities that i can tell it's the same pony. that is not easy to do. excellent work.
Princess of food. Funny shit right there, mind if I barrow that one if the need comes?
Princess of food........
Ahhh princess of food
Princess of Food, and Prince Amour
Ah yes, food. Can't get enough!
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Do you think that's what derpy was for Nightmare Night? Season 2
Classic joke
Snuggel for the Bug ♡
Well, now I know where KKSlider got the name Princess of Food from in Changing Expectations
11055060
TTTTTTTRRRRRRUUUUEEEE
It took me like half a second to get this joke
Good one
You know... I've wondered why Cadance had just been stashed in the crystal caverns instead of being taken back to the hive when bug mother had taken her place preinvasion. Being that she literally would be the Princess of Food. And on tøp of that Purple Smart wouldn't have come across her.
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I would think they didn't have time to smuggle her throught all the non-brainwashed guards? I mean, bug queen diddn't telerport Sparky anywhere, she melted her throught the floor down to the caverns. She was ghosted, so to speak.
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A hole in the throne room would be highly noticeable
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Think woth portals... or Teara of the Kingdom go through walls thing.
Changlings everywhere love their pink food princess ♡
PRINCESS OF FOOD that joke never gets old
Holy 💩, that's funny! I'm surprised nobody has made a "Shining Armour Hot Dogs" joke.
Fantastic bonding between Changelings and ponies ♡
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Great art♡