i like it

Funny and Cute cant wait for the next chapter

I liked it
Except for the part when Twilight was doin bad things
But other wise it was cute and i loved it
Cant wait for the next chapter if theres gonna be one

I'd say you're not bad at all at writing conflicting romance, and the ending of this chapter felt right. I don't think Twi would rush into something like this. The phrasing is a bit rough, but that works itself out over time with practice, and there are no glaring mistakes.

I like that their story seems to show the impact of anti-pedophile cultural mores in a neutral light. Keep up the great work.

Cute and funny, I like it. I hope you take the criticism constructively and write some more!

she somehow knew it was meant to be

Yeah, not forced at all. That concern in the corner of your mind? Ignore it. ;]