Picking up seven years after the events of "The Friendship Games," Sunset Shimmer is fed up with Equestrian magic, and content to live a normal, though human, life as a private detective. For her, there are no more Elements, no more spells, and certainly no more evils hell bent on world domination. All she wants is a bottle of whiskey, a desk to sit behind, and enough cases to last her a lifetime. Unfortunately, magic has a way of appearing where it's least expected, or wanted. And in her new world, magic is deadly.
A series of magically charged killings leaves the police baffled, and Sunset is reluctantly dragged onto the case when an old lover comes knocking on her door. In order to fight a new enemy, she'll have to deal with old friends and older grudges, and dredge up a past she was certain she'd locked away forever. Throw in government agents, ties to a black market underground, and an inquisitive fashion journalist, and Sunset has never been more in need of a stiff drink, or farther from getting one.
Sucked into a world of new and deadly magic, unsure who she can trust, Sunset Shimmer chases her quarry down a path of ever increasing questions. Who is this mysterious killer? How did they bring magic to this world, and why? And what does the number eleven have to do with it all?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwvVhXItl1w
It needed that background music for some reaosn
Haven't read it, but I must say it looks interesting!
the flow is good, can't think of anything esle at the time being
This is going to be really interesting. Look forward to more
From the description alone, I'm getting a weird <I>Dresden Files</I> vibe. Let's take a look, shall we?
I'm intrigued An interesting premise, Sunset being badass, and some creep getting the pants scared off him; nicely done
However, there are a few things that did throw me off a bit. For one, tone back on the flowery writing. I know we're all tempted to write like the classic literary greats, but it really seems unnecessary here, and comes off as you doing it simply for the sake of doing it. Second, dialogue lines should be on their own. It helps to separate it out as dialogue, plus it won't get lost in the paragraph. Turning this:
Into this:
Much cleaner, don't you think. Also, don't forget dialogue tags to indicate who's speaking; keep in mind though, if it's a conversation, you only need to clarify who is speaking once (if it's two characters) and make sure that if you change the order of who is speaking, you let the reader know. If it's more that two characters, then you might need to use dialogue tags a bit more than usual.
Like I said, consider me intrigued. I'll be keeping an eye on this one
interesting story so far cant wait to see what happened int eh past and what happens in the future
I know who Number Eleven is!
Matt Smith! That's who Number Eleven is!
Well this looks like it's turning into a nice little noir thriller. Excited to see where you take it.
Is the killer human Sunset Shimmer?
ok update soon
as for the killer im guessing changlings
Glad to you’re still chugging along with this. And really, Twi? The most powerful magic that’s been seen in this world was created by a synergy between those seven chicks. I’m surprised that the government doesn’t have you studying them obsessively, much less completely ignoring them.
wow this updated i thought this was dead
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I don’t know. They do seem to be interested in acquiring gemstones, many of which happen to also be CRYSTALS!!
no way! Twilight is gonna pay a visit to Sunset? Will they argue or will they have fun? I’m looking forward to this!
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The Human Sunset Shimmer probably doesn’t exist and from what i see, it’s a man. This is just like Jack the Ripper...