Alexandria the Great

by chillbook2

Alex & Alexandria

Conjure dragged me and Platinum through the halls, after getting express permission from the princess. He snapped his fingers, removing Platinum’s mask, returning his body to normal and binding my arms and legs in chains.

“Really?” I asked, still a little upset. “What happened to tea and gemstones?”

“Oh, we can still do that. I just don’t trust you to behave yourself.” replied Conjure.

“Why is that?”

“Because you nearly burned my face off, you freak!” screamed Platinum. “That’s all you are: a freak of nature! A mistake! A glitch! You shouldn’t even exist!”

“What was that, pony?” I asked, mane frizzing even more. I reached forward to claw at her face. “You must really want to end up in my stomach.”

“Thank God, Robert!” exclaimed Conjure to a tall black stallion. “I need your help!”

“What is it, Isaiah? I’m not letting you transform me into a kitten again.” he said.

“I was trying to turn you into a lion! But, no, I need you to help me control Alex!”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“What’s wrong with her?!” shouted Platinum. “She’s a psycho, that’s what’s wrong with her!”

“Better to be a psycho than a corpse!” I yelled, grabbing hold of her neck once more. I threw her against the wall and clamped my fangs hard into her shoulder. A warm, salty and slightly-metallic liquid burst into my mouth, staining my teeth red. Platinum’s screams echoed through the castle as the black stallion yanked me off of her.

“Alex! Enough!” he ordered.

“But now I have the taste!” I said, mouth watering. I wanted more. “And it was delectable! If the blood is that good then the meat must be mind-blowing!” I scrambled out of his hands and jumped back onto my lunch. I wasn’t letting her get away twice.

“What do I do?!” asked the unknown stallion, yanking at my midsection. I clawed at his hands, squirmed out of his grip, just for a taste of the deliciously raw bloody meat!

“Use Battlecry!” shouted Conjure.

“What am I, a goddamn Pokemon? That takes time to prepare! Not to mention that I can’t control who it effects, so I might just make the whole thing worse!”

“Save me! I’m too pretty to die!” cried Platinum.

“Such a big mouth! I’m gonna rip your throat out with my teeth!” I growled. “I said that to get you to shut up, but that actually sounds quite good. I think I might give it a try!” I threw her to the ground and jumped on her chest, baring my teeth. I leaned in close to take a bite when I was thrown back by wave of energy.

“Conjure used Knockback!” said the stallion, Robert.

“And it was super-effective.” said Conjure. He grabbed all of us up in a sort of group hug and squinted his eyes in concentration. We were bathed in and emerald green aura and…
POP!

We were standing in a huge, empty room. There was no furniture, except for a bookshelf pushed against the back wall. The floor had a large circle painted on it. Within the circle was a triangle, which held three smaller circles. The circles were bordered with strange symbols and marks. Conjure threw me and Platinum right in the middle of the smaller circles, slammed his hands down on the floor, and enclosed me in a steel cage. He then trotted over to Platinum and used his magic to patch up her neck and shoulder. Pulling two chairs out of thin air, he sat in one and kicked the other to Robert.

“Platinum Pendant, right? What happened?” he asked.

“I was eating lunch with Sterling and then she came over to us and threw me against the wall for no reason and… well, you know the rest.” she said, staring at the ground.

“Alex. What happened?” asked Conjure.

“I was walking and she screamed ‘Broil me and sink your fangs into my gut, Alex, please!’ at the top of her lungs. She wanted to be eaten, so I thought I’d help” I growled. “Don’t get too comfy, Pendant. As soon as I find a way out of here, you’re going on the menu.” It was amazing that somepony who was normally so confident in herself could shrink away in fear like Platinum did.

“Alright, this is getting us nowhere.” said Robert, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a bag of… rubies! I loved rubies! Sapphires were great, but rubies were brain-numbingly good! “Here’s how this works: I’m going to ask some questions. Answer me truthfully and respectfully and you get a ruby. Got it?”

“Fine.” I said grudgingly. I don’t think Platinum had the capacity for words just then, because she simply nodded.

“Okay. First question: What do gemstones taste like?” asked Robert.

“Rob! Is this important?!” exclaimed Conjure.

“Just breaking the ice.”

“All gems taste different. Sapphires are really sweet, while emeralds taste a little like potato chips. Rubies remind me of cinnamon and apples, with a hint of something slightly earthy, like mushrooms. Diamonds taste like freshly roasted walnuts and amethysts taste like fancy cheese and fresh baked bread.” I said. “Do I get a ruby now?”

“Yes.” he said tossing me one. I shoved it in my mouth without hesitation. I was really hungry. Hungry for blood.

“Can you give me some characteristics of your rages?” asked Conjure. “Do you normally lose control like that? What let’s you know when you’ve been pushed too far?”

“When I get angry, my pupils dilate, my mane frizzes, my fangs and claws come out, I begin to lose control of my Infernus Gland and I start to growl.”

“Infernus Gland?” asked Robert.

“The organ that allows me to breathe fire. When I get mad, I can’t control it, which is why my nostrils smoke.”

“I get the fangs and claws, but why does your mane frizz? Seems odd.”

“Dragons, real dragons, frill up their spikes when they get mad, to intimidate predators and other dragons. My mane does the same thing.” He tossed me another ruby. I technically should have gotten 5, but beggars can’t be choosers.

“Why did you bite Platinum?”

“Besides the fact that she’s an insufferable bitch? I was hungry.” I said grumpily.

“But you’re a pony. You eat oats and grass and flowers and hay!”

“I’m also a dragon, which means I eat treasure and cattle and lava and ponies! But only when I’m mad.”

“Are you still upset?” asked Conjure

“No. I’m fine. Can you let me out now?” I asked.

“Are you lying to me when you say you aren’t angry?”

“Yes. If you let me out right now, I’ll probably maul Pendant. Not even because of what she did anymore. I’m just really hungry for her blood. You should probably get her out of here before I eat her heart.” I said. “Ugh. That somehow doesn’t sound as tasty.”

“You’ve calmed down a little.” said Robert. “So. Tell me honestly: what happened?”

“Conjure gave me this jacket before school started that would hide my wings. I normally wear it so that nopony would know I was part-dragon. Just now, Platinum and I got into an argument. She ripped of my jacket and I freaked out.” I answered.

“Thank you. Platinum, you can go back to Princess Twilight. Take this note.” said Conjure, materializing a sheet of paper. “I’ll meet with your parents, if they need to talk about this unfortunate little situation. Just give me a date and time.”

“That’s it? She get’s no punishment?” whined Platinum. “She almost killed me.”

“Don’t worry about it.” said Conjure, pushing Platinum out the door. “We’ll deal with her accordingly.” The door closed behind her, and I realised I did something terrible.

“Oh my gosh!” I cried, dropping to the floor. My fangs and claws receded, my mane flattened and I began to cry. “How could I do that?”
“It’s okay. Well, it’s not, but it’s not your fault. Well, it is, but it’s understandable.”
“What’s my punishment?” I sobbed. “Come on, I deserve it. Just drop it on me.”
“You are suspended from school for two weeks, I want you to write an apology to Platinum for her injuries and the princess for disrupting the tour, write a ten-page essay on the alchemy I used today to restrain you, no gems for the next three months, and of course, I’m going to have to alert your parents. What they do beyond that is up to them.” listed Conjure.
“Okay.” I said. “Can I get a quill and some parchment?”
“I was bluffing. Just the apologies will be fine. Forget everything else. I do still have to tell Rarity and Spike.” said Conjure kindly.
“No, I deserve a worse punishment than that. I’ll do it all.” I said.
HMMMMMMMMMM!

A loud humming filled the room, a high frequency that made my teeth rattle and my head ache. I felt warm liquid leak out of my ears. I dipped my fingers in it and inspected it. My fingers came back dry.

“Alex? What are you doing?” asked Robert.

“I’m trying to figure out what is coming out of my ears. It’s something warm. I think it’s blood. Can you guys see it?” I asked.

“No, I mean what spell are you trying to cast?”

“What?! I can’t use magic.”

“Well, your horn is glowing. Why is it red? I’d think it would be a dark green.”

“Red?” I asked. Then, it clicked. “It’s working, isn’t it? Oh, yes! It’s working!”

“What’s working? What did you do?” asked Conjure. “This magic is off the charts!” I rose off the ground, my hooves dangling beneath me. In that very instant I learned that Princess Twilight was correct: Sombra lies. He lied when he said that it would take a day or so to happen. He also lied when he said it wouldn’t hurt.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I screamed, my forehead bursting open. I felt my body split right down the middle. My chest exploded and my wings peeled off. What was going on? My two halves fell to the ground, except they weren’t halves. They were two complete bodies. I watched them both get to their hooves, then my point of view changed. Suddenly, I was watching only one body, with a dark greenish-blue coat, a dark red mane with maroon streaks and deep red eyes. Dragon eyes. She flared out her wings and smiled a fanged smile.

“Holy shit, that hurt, didn’t it?” she laughed. “It hurt to me, anyway. What’s up? I’m Alex.” Her voice was very velvety and nonchalant. She sounded quite confident and arrogant.

“I am Alexandria. Are you who I think you are?” I asked.

“Well, if you are thinking that I’m you, then yeah. How did that feel for you?”

“It hurt like no pain I’ve ever experienced before. What do you suppose we do now?”

“I say that we kill the two morons outside and get out of here. I’m starving and the black one has… rubies! I can smell them from here!” she growled.

“That is rude and mischievous and wrong! You can’t very well go around Equestria murdering ponies just because they have something you want.”

“What the hell happened?!” asked Conjure. “Who are you two?!”

“I’m Alex the Great.” said Alex.

“And I am Alexandria.” I answered.

“Mother of Celestia.” he said. “We’re in for a hell of a day.”