Omake: Sunset Shimmer's Narrated Nightmare!
MustacheMerlin is entirely to blame for this. 
The tone of this omake is completely different from the tone of the original story. Please be advised. Remember: This is just for laughs. Don't take it seriously.
The key unlocked the deadbolt with a satisfyingly loud clack. The brass knob turned, and the door opened, spilling the light of the afternoon sun into the mostly dark apartment. A slim amber hand groped around for the light switch on the inside wall and flipped it. Three overhead lights ensconced in off-white glass spheres came to life, spreading pleasing illumination over the living room with its plush violet carpet and tasteful leather and maple furniture.
Sliding her feet out of her suede boots, Sunset Shimmer closed and locked the door behind her, then opened the coat closet next to the front door. She slung her backpack off her shoulder, then shrugged off her jacket and hung it up. She placed her boots on the shoe rack in the center of the closet, next to her older bad-girl boots. With a grimace, she picked a stray pebble that had somehow gotten stuck in her boot out of the tender sole of her left foot. She crossed over to her desk and dropped the pebble in her wastepaper basket, then walked back to the door to collect the mail from the slot at the bottom.
She paused as she reached into the mail slot, a puzzled frown on her face. She looked up and glanced around, teal eyes scanning the well-lit apartment.
Shaking her head, she grabbed her mail. She sifted through it as she walked back to her desk, idly dropping her backpack beside the desk as she tossed her junk mail into the trash. The only thing left after she sorted out the junk mail was her monthly coupon saver book, which she flipped through idly for a minute before putting it in a desk drawer.
"Okay, who's there?" she asked, looking around the room. She put her hands on her hips, frowning up at the ceiling. "I can hear you, you know."
The silence of an empty apartment greeted her. A deeper frown graced her beautiful face as her brow furrowed. She walked over to the door and checked the lock, then went around the apartment, checking the windows to make sure they were all locked and hadn't been disturbed. An uneasy feeling settled over her. She stood, rocking idly back and forth on her heels and flexing her toes, her mind racing.
She quickly checked each room of her apartment a second time, confirming that she was indeed alone at home. Finishing her search in her bedroom, she closed the door behind her and leaned against it with a heavy sigh. "Maybe I'm just really, really tired," she muttered to herself.
Sunset stripped off the clothes she'd worn to school and tossed them in her hamper. She moved to take off her bra as well, but hesitated, arms crossed over her scantily-clad chest. Frowning, she snagged a white T-shirt from her closet and a pair of baggy shorts from her dresser, then put them on. She sat down on the bed, bouncing a couple of times, then flopped back against it and yawned expressively. For several minutes, she lay there, staring up at the ceiling.
"This is really starting to creep me out," she said. "Seriously, I don't know who you are, why you're doing this, or even how you're doing this, but you're really creeping me out."
There was no answer.
"Umm...you do realize that was an answer, right?" Sunset pointed out. Eventually, with a slight grunt, she stood up and padded into the kitchen. Opening her refrigerator, she took out a can of root beer and popped it open, then took a long, sweet sip. With a satisfied sigh, she ambled over to her favorite chair, sinking into the leather cushions and picking up the TV remote. She turned on the TV, then picked up the cable remote and started browsing the listings. Nothing really caught her attention, so she turned on a silly cartoon about a girl in a pet shop who can talk to animals and leaned back.
Sunset took another long swig of her root beer, then set it on a coaster on the end table. She let out an unladylike belch.
"HEY!" Sunset scowled up at the ceiling. "That was pretty rude!"
She leaned down to scratch at an itch on her right calf, grimacing at the faintly fuzzy feel of her leg. Her left eye twitched. "Hey, wait a second. How do you know my leg feels fuzzy?" A shudder ran through her body. "What...what's going on here?"
Not long after arriving in this world, Sunset had studied up on a lot of things. As soon as she'd learned she was considered extremely attractive as a human, she read everything about fashion, beauty, and hygiene she could get her hands on.
"How the HELL do you know all that?!" Sunset demanded.
One of the first, and most perplexing, things she'd learned was that arm and leg hair—or really, body hair of any kind—on a female was considered unattractive. As a unicorn whose original body had been covered in a fine coat of amber hair, this confused her, but she soon came to understand why human girls went to incredible lengths to maintain a certain appearance.
"Seriously, have you been spying on me ever since I came here?!" Sunset cried.
Besides, fuzzy legs just felt wrong in her current body.
"Dammit, quit ignoring me! I wanna know who you are and how you know all this!" Sunset snapped, folding her arms and scowling.
An uncomfortable pressure made itself known in Sunset's bladder. She grimaced as she looked around the empty room, suddenly not sure she wanted any part of her body exposed. However, there were certain forces in nature one could not argue with, so Sunset headed to the bathroom to pee. As she relieved herself, she ruminated on her plans with her friends for the long weekend.
"HEY! A little privacy here?" Sunset cried to the empty bathroom, shrinking in on herself and covering her lap with a towel. "What kind of sick pervert are you?"
A new teen club had just opened in town, and they were all going tomorrow night. They'd even persuaded the awkward Twilight and the withdrawn Fluttershy to go along so the group would be complete.
"Seriously, I'm trying to pee here! Leave me alone!" Sunset shrieked.
After that, they'd decided to go up to the Whitetail Woods on Saturday and spend the rest of the weekend camping out.
"How do you even know that? Are you stalking me? Are you stalking my friends?"
Sunset suddenly realized her bladder had been empty for quite some time, and she was sitting on the toilet with her shorts and panties around her ankles, screaming at empty air. With a furious blush, she stood up, dropped the towel, hurriedly pulled her panties and shorts back up, and washed her hands.
"Oh my god, seriously, quit it! This is beyond sick!" she screamed at her own reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror.
Taking a deep breath, Sunset walked back into the living room, glancing at the clock on the cable box. It was still fairly early in the afternoon, and although her stomach was growling at her and reminding her that she'd hardly eaten anything for lunch, she suddenly didn't feel like eating. In fact, she felt like throwing up, because apparently some creep had been stalking her since she arrived in this world, knew everything about her and her friends, and enjoyed watching her pee. And change clothes. For all she knew, he probably even hung around while she showered, salivating over every bead of hot, soapy water that slid down her smooth amber skin...
Letting out a terrified scream, Sunset ran into her bedroom, threw on some old blue jeans and a sweater, hurriedly put on a pair of white socks and an old pair of tennis shoes, grabbed her keys, and fled the apartment, barely remembering to lock the door behind her.
As soon as her feet touched the pavement of the parking lot, she stopped, heart hammering in her chest. She turned, closed her eyes, marched back up to her apartment, unlocked the door, walked inside, and grabbed her backpack, which contained the magic journal that allowed her to keep in touch with Princess Twilight Sparkle. She wasn't sure what was happening, but it might be prudent to have a way of contacting Twilight just in case.
Although...what would she say? That she was suddenly hearing a voice, narrating every single move she made, every single thought that entered her head?
That just sounded crazy, right?
"Get a grip, Sunset," she muttered as she stalked over to her bike, straddled it, strapped on her helmet, and started the engine. The bike roared to life, and Sunset took off, no immediate destination in mind. Houses, apartments, businesses, traffic lights, and streets shot by in a blur as Sunset's motorcycle devoured mile after mile of asphalt.
When Sunset finally parked the bike, killed the engine, and put down the kickstand, she found herself parked outside Fluttershy's house. She pondered that for a moment. She hadn't consciously decided to drive to Fluttershy's place; the bike just seemed to steer itself there. As she contemplated this, she wondered if it was because Fluttershy was a safe, soothing presence in her life. The kind, quiet girl had her shy, timid side, often had difficulty speaking up and asserting herself, and was prone to unexpected fits of passive-aggressive bitchiness—
"HEY!" Sunset cried. "That was uncalled for!"
—but somehow, being around Fluttershy always felt safe and warm. Like the shy girl was a warm, buttery security blanket with long, beautiful, soft cherry blossom pink hair and deep, inviting blue-green eyes. Sometimes, Sunset found herself lost in those eyes, so full of kindness and caring—
"I do NOT!" Sunset yelled, her face flushing.
"You don't what?" Fluttershy's soft, sweet voice asked. Sunset turned, eyes wide, to see Fluttershy walking up to her, a white bunny rabbit cuddled in her arms, snuggled securely against her amazingly pert breasts which filled out her loose white tank top rather fetchingly. Sunset often wondered why a girl as timid and afraid of being looked at as Fluttershy wore something like that—
"AHHHH!" Sunset screamed. "CUT IT OUT!"
Fluttershy flinched, raising her rabbit in a protective cringe. Her hair fell over one hurt eye as she stared at Sunset. "Oh, I...I'm sorry," she said. "I...I didn't mean to do...whatever it was..."
"No, it's not you!" Sunset said, waving her hands placatingly. "It's—"
Fluttershy blinked. "It's...what?"
Sunset took a deep breath. "I think somebody's messing with me," she said. "It might be something from Equestria, something related to magic."
"Oh my," Fluttershy said, suddenly concerned. She brushed her hair away from her face.
"I keep hearing this...this voice," Sunset said. "It keeps...it keeps saying everything I do, everything I'm thinking. It started when I got home, and..." She hugged herself tightly, rubbing her arms and shivering. "It's really creeping me out."
"Oh, well...that's...not good," Fluttershy said quietly. "What kind of voice is it?"
"A creepy, perverted voice that watched me pee," Sunset said sourly. Her eyes widened. "Gah!"
Fluttershy squeaked, her cheeks flushing. "That's awful!" She took hold of Sunset's hand and led her to her front door. "Maybe you should write to Twilight?"
Sunset sighed. "I thought about it," she admitted. "I've even got the journal with me. But first, I...I just need to know if I'm really hearing this, or if I'm just imagining things." She couldn't bear the thought of bothering an important pony like Princess Twilight over what might be a figment of her imagination. She pictured Twilight's pretty purple face, her gorgeous violet eyes narrowed in irritation as she folded her arms and tapped one agitated foot.
"Seriously? You bothered me in the middle of a battle for the very fate of Equestria because you're hearing voices?" Twilight snarled. "Aren't there doctors for that in your world? Celestia could be dead right now because I had to come listen to you babble about voices in your head instead of being there to protect her!"
Sunset shuddered. "Maybe I shouldn't bother Twilight just yet," she decided.
"Oh, well...alright," Fluttershy said. "Are you sure there wasn't somebody in your apartment spying on you?" She shuddered. "Oh my, that's a scary thought..."
Sunset shook her head. "I checked every room twice," she said. "Besides, the voice is still following me. It's been with me ever since I left, and I know there wasn't anyone on my bike with me."
Fluttershy's eyes flew open. "You mean...you mean you're being spied on right now?"
"Yeah," Sunset said.
"Meep." Fluttershy's eyes darted around nervously as she curled in on herself. "Is...is it safe to..."
"To what?" Sunset asked.
Fluttershy's cheeks colored. "I really need to pee," she whispered.
Sunset also blushed. "I don't know," she admitted. "Maybe if...maybe if I stay in the kitchen while you go to the bathroom, you'll be safe?"
"Okay," Fluttershy said with a nervous swallow. Setting her bunny rabbit down on the sofa, she headed down the hall to the bathroom while Sunset walked over to the kitchen.
Her stomach was growling furiously, and Sunset began searching the kitchen, unearthing two plates, a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a jar of grape jelly. She quickly and expertly made two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, then poured two tall glasses of milk. When Fluttershy returned, looking absolutely mortified, Sunset held out a sandwich on a plate and one of the glasses of milk to her. "I hope you don't mind," she said. "I raided your kitchen a little bit."
"Oh, that's fine," Fluttershy said, accepting the sandwich and milk. "I was actually a little hungry myself, so thank you for making this." They both sat down in the living room. Fluttershy took a dainty bite of her sandwich, giving a slight moan of appreciation as she chewed. Sunset watched her, her eyes taking in the buttery smoothness of Fluttershy's skin, the gorgeous bare shoulders her tank top revealed, the barest hint of cleavage as she leaned forward to pick up her milk...
"GAH!" Sunset screamed, nearly throwing her sandwich across the room and upsetting Angel, the white rabbit, who shot her an annoyed look and scampered off for Fluttershy's bedroom.
Fluttershy blinked. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"That voice!" Sunset shouted. "It's saying things!"
"What kind of things?" Fluttershy asked, tilting her head.
Sunset's eyes widened in horror. "Umm..." She gulped nervously. "Things...about things..."
Fluttershy's eyes narrowed. "Is the voice being a mean, perverted creep?" she asked with a hint of steel.
"Umm..." Sunset blinked, staring at Fluttershy. "Kind of. A little? Mostly, it's..." She blushed, ducking her gaze. "It's kind of, well...trying to ship us," she admitted.
Fluttershy blinked. "Ship...us?"
"You know. It's suggesting I have, umm..." Sunset poked her fingertips together. "That I'm crushing on you or something," she finished meekly.
"Oh," Fluttershy said in a small voice, her cheeks pink. "That's...weird," she said shakily. She looked up at Sunset. "Umm...are you?"
"No!" Sunset protested, waving her hands in furious denial. "Not at all! This weird narrator voice is just putting words in my brain or...or something..." Even as she said this, Sunset's mind wandered, picturing a softly-lit bedroom, romantic jazz playing as she gently undressed Fluttershy and laid her on the bed, giving her a naughty smile as she removed her own bra, then—
"GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sunset shot to her feet, bolted to the front door, ran to her bike, jumped on, and sped away. As her bike at up miles of Canterlot's city streets, she muttered under her breath, "I do not want to have sex with Fluttershy, I do not want to have sex with Fluttershy, I do not want to have sex with Fluttershy, I do not want to have sex with Fluttershy..."
It was, after all, true. She really didn't want to have sex with Fluttershy. No, Sunset told herself, she only had eyes for one person, and one person alone.
Which is why she found herself parked outside Canterlot High School, her feet pounding the pavement as she charged up to the ruined horse statue, heart hammering in her chest as she practically leapt into the portal to Equestria—
—only to bounce off the generous chest of a lavender-skinned girl with long, straight violet hair who had just emerged from the portal. Sunset landed painfully on her butt, groaning as she looked up. Twilight Sparkle was knocked off to the side, crying out in pain as her back slammed into the hard, unforgiving edge of the marble. "OW!" Twilight cried. She picked herself up, rubbing her back and grimacing. "What...Sunset?!"
"TWILIGHT! You gotta help me!" Sunset cried, shooting to her feet, grabbing Twilight by the shoulders, and shaking her frantically. "There's this voice following me around, narrating everything I do! It's really creeping me out! He keeps trying to ship me with Fluttershy or you and making me have really naughty thoughts and...and..." Her eyes widened as she realized what she'd just said, and she covered her mouth in shock.
Twilight frowned. "A voice? And you're the only one who can hear it?"
Sunset nodded mutely.
Twilight's brow furrowed. "And you can't see anybody around when you hear it?"
Sunset shook her head.
"And it's narrating your life and making suggestive and inappropriate remarks?"
Sunset nodded once again.
Twilight pinched the bridge of her nose. "Discord," she growled. "I thought we talked about this."
Sunset's eyes doubled in size as a man in a brown suit with mismatched sleeves, wearing one alligator loafer and one bunny slipper, faded into view. His red-on-yellow eyes twinkled with mischief as he twirled his white goatee, waggling his bushy white eyebrows. "Why, Princess Twilight," he said in the voice of Sunset's mysterious, creepy, stalkery narrator. "Whatever brings you here?"
"The security alarm on the portal went off," Twilight said.
Discord snapped his fingers and groaned. "I knew I should've come here under my own power," he said. "Dopey me! I suppose that's what I get for being lazy."
Sunset stared at the man. "Th-th-th-th-this is D-d-d-d-d-DISCORD?!"
Discord bowed, taking her hand and kissing it. "A pleasure to meet you, Sunset Shimmer," he said.
"Discord," Twilight said in a reprimanding tone. "I thought we had an understanding about this whole 'narrator' thing. I thought you agreed you wouldn't do that to anypony ever again!"
"And so I did!" Discord said. He wrapped an arm around Sunset and gave her shoulders a squeeze. "As you can plainly see," he added with a sinister sneer, "this certainly is no pony."
Sunset pushed him away and glared at him. "You mean all afternoon, it was you following me around?!"
"Guilty as charged!"
"WHY?!"
Discord shrugged. "I was bored."
"You—but—I—what—" Sunset sputtered incoherently. With an inarticulate howl of rage, she kicked Discord squarely in the balls, stormed over to her bike, and sped off for home.
As Discord crumpled over and wheezed, clutching his nads, Twilight snorted. "Now that, you had coming," she said. Grabbing Discord by the collar, she dragged him back through the portal to Equestria.
And peace settled over the suburb of Canterlot once again...
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This extra tidbit was comedic gold. Thank you, MustacheMerlin, for the comment, and thank you, Mythril, for acting on it.
Okay that was hilarious! Glad the idea was put in your head.
Tenouttaten
This needs to be an episode
Brilliant!
I was laughing constantly!
It's a good thing it was put in your head.
Yeah, I'd do the same thing to Discord if he did that to me.
That was completely mean and stalkish of him.
Now that was actually something. Something funny and fun too.
Oh my GOD this is AWESOME! I love this so much! Thank you for writing this, because it made my day!
The original was fan-fucking-tastic.
This one is so much better.
Oh my fucking god, this ending
I almost can't breathe! data.desustorage.org/mlp/image/1419/40/1419403893695.jpg
I completely forgot it was good ol' Discord that did this last time, I was more focused on watching Sunset flip out and try not to tackle Fluttershy or something XD
I love stuff like this, it really tickles my funny bone.
I reached the end, and just about died laughing. Well done.
Well done, Moth. Well done. Brilliant, even!
Oh, Discord.
When Sunset Shimmer came across a set of two open doors, she chose the one on the left.
That was fucking perfect!
Word of advice, Discord: The next time you do something like that, make sure you got protection for the boys downstairs.
If the Narrator had purely been an (almost) all-knowing disembodied voice, (Like Kevan Brighting's in the Stanley Parable.) this would've been a lot more painful for both Sunset, and Twilight.
Just a personal opinion.
But wait... Who narrated discord? O:
7010986 Q.
This was hilarious
Gotta say that discord approving FluterSet is rather cute, though
"Stranger Than Fiction", MLP:EG style? Nicely done.
Nice tale!!!
How is Discord able to go to the human world ?
7078521 He's Discord.
Best RESPONSE EVER!
can you post a recipe for the takomiyaki?
Yep
This was great. From now on, if I'm ever in a bad mood, I'll read this to help me feel better.
7119956 Okonomiyaki. Google it. (Protip: Most of the time if you run into a word you don't know, searching for it on Google usually helps.
)
Well done. Very very well done. 10/10 would laugh again.
...so why was Discord trying to ship Sunset with Fluttershy? I get the Discord shipping thing - it's Discord - but I thought he'd try to stake a claim to Fluttershy instead.
Silly Discord
I lost it reading this
For not being edited, that first chapter comes off really well. But this? This was gold. :D
7664025
Discord clearly is a >no hooves kinda dracoequus.
Heh, this second chapter is awesome.
That was good. I did not see Discord being an element in this story. I thought it was going to be a side effect of hanging out with Pinkie or something.
Heheheh.
You might be.
Best not to question her decisions on wardrobe if you ask me. 🙄
Good idea if you ask me. 😕
Oofity
Ok, now this explains things and that this wasn't some fourth wall break story.
She installed a alarm on the portal?!?!?!!?
Ouch.
I'd have gone for Pinky pie myself