One nice morning in autumn, when the leaves are falling and everypony was hanging around outside, one horse was staying inside, reading. She was studying on her favorite subject: Humans. She yawned, as her wife walked into the room, and started preparing for the day...when she decided to strike up a conversation with her lover.
"Good morning Lyra," she said to her, as she was brushing her hair,
"Morning Bon Bon..."
Lyra was reading a book labeled "Rulers of the Human Land - All You Need to Know From Egypt to America". It was a fairly big book, Lyra looking at the America chapter, reading about a man by the name of "William Jefferson Clinton,".
"Bon Bon...I have a question for you..." Lyra started,
"Yes Lyra?" Bon Bon replied, yawning after saying it,
"How would you feel if I were president?"
"President?" Bon Bon started to look a bit confused, "You mean like Celestia and Luna?"
"No...that's a monarchy, I mean something like...um...our Mayor..."
"Oh...so you want to be a prick all the time..."
Bon Bon giggled as Lyra looked at her with a mean stare.
"No, I mean a leader who was elected by the people, for the people...someone to make the laws, someone to pass those laws, someone to be the voice of a country..."
"Well, Lyra, I guess I would be...surprised?"
"Why is that?"
"Well...you know nothing about pony law..."
"You're right...but do you know what I do know about? American law. So you know what I'm going to do?"
Bon Bon got an annoyed look on her face,
"Let me guess...you're going to go to the universe that has the so-called 'America' and run for president there..."
"You bet you're plot I am! Now...I know a portal to an alternate dimension...I need three other ponies for this, Ok?"
"Let me guess...one of them is me..."
"Correct! Now quick! We need to get the other two ponies we need, OK?"
Lyra quickly ran out the door, as Bon Bon, obviously annoyed, decided to run out...wondering why Lyra needed two other ponies at the current moment.
These chapters are very short for one. Try to include more action and events in the chapters. Don't be afraid to go into much detail.
Another huge problem is that a lot of the words are used on talking head scenes. This is where two or more people talk to each other while nothing happens in the background. It's something that I will admit I've done in the past, but it became a glaring problem to even me.
Finally, your abuse of ellipses ('...'). For example:
You seem to try and use this to build up tension, but it doesn't seem necessary as the tension is resolved in the next part of the sentence. Instead of this, use a comma. Also:
In the dialogue portion of this chapter, you use ellipses in about every piece of dialogue. Try refraining from doing this and instead do things like "I mean something like, um, our mayor."
I don't think ellipses are useless or anything. It's just that they're misused so much that it can give me a headache. It's widely considered that ellipses should mainly be used to signify a syllable being stretched out. (ex.: "Um...")