Ponytale

by Scarlett Haze

Chapter 9 - Four Simple Rules on how to date a Skeleton

You look forward and see the snow stopping up ahead. This is good since you've been needing to get to some place a little warmer. You follow the river next to you and see large chunks of ice floating down it's path. You follow the river until it ends, only to be surprised at seeing sans and her station up ahead with a few other monsters just loafing about near it. You go up to sans and speak with her.

Sans at first seems to be looking off somewhere before realizing you're starting at her. "Oh, I get it. You're wondering how I'm here and not at the other station, right? I use short cuts, ya know, like the salon types." Bless her, she's trying. "But, yeah, this is my second job. The bonus to a second job is twice as many legally-required breaks." She stretches a little and you hear her spine adjusting underneath the coat. "I'm thinking of going to grillby's, want to come?"

You remember seeing inside Grillby's and think you'll be a little safer with company if you want to go. After a bit of thought, you nod and tell sans you're ready if she is. Sans gets a little louder as if she's wanting someone else to hear her, maybe her boss. "Oh~! If you so truly insist on going, then I guess I must pry myself away from work~!" She then winks at you as if to say, "We're okay now, let's beat it." Leaving her station, she starts going in the wrong direction of Grillby's and you tell her this. She shakes her head, "I know a shortcut, trust me it's gonna get us there in no time."

You walk with sans for a few steps and then find yourself with her inside Grillby's. You look behind you to make sure there wasn't something weird like a portal or magical anomaly. You find only the door back outside. Sans only bumps your shoulder, "Told ya I knew shortcuts. Let's find a spot to sit down." Sans starts greeting everyone, including the dog guards who remain ever the constant professionals and not drool at the bones ripe for the gnawing in front of them.

Both you and sans find seats at the bar where the firey bartender only gives you a lookover and then returns to wiping down a glass. A patron at the other side of the bar wearily points to sans. "Hey sans... didn't I see you come in for breakfast a few minutes ago?"

Sans waves a hoof dismissively at the accusation, "I have not had breakfast in at least a half hour, but you may be thinking about brunch." Some of the patrons laugh at sans' brand of comedy and she motions you to the bar stool. "Have a seat, bud. Make yourself comfy."

The two of you seat yourselves and the sound of a whoopie cushion going off alerts you that some hooligan set it underneath you. Sans snickers in her seat, "Forgot to mention that you needed to be careful where you sit. There are weirdos who put whoopie cushions on the seats sometimes."

You sigh and give sans a patient smile. With both of you seated you ask Grillby to get a hayburger for you and recheck your gold coinage. It should be enough, you hope. Sans nods and makes it a double order of burgy goodness. As Grillby leaves to get your order, out of the corner of your eye you see sans running a comb over her skull. You don't want to make mention the lack of a mane out of respect.

"So whatcha think of my sis?" Sans suddenly asks you, still focused on getting the right curl out of her brushing. You tell sans that you think Papyrus is cool and hope that she didn't notice the little shift in your eyes as you say it. Sans doesn't act it as she puts the comb away, "She is pretty cool. Anyone would if they wore the outfit she did everyday. I think she'd only take it off if it was absolutely necessary. Don't worry about it getting too dirty, she does wash it while she's in the shower."

The small talk ends as the burgers are presented to you and sans. She rubs her hooves and whips out a bottle of ketchup, "Hey, you want some ketchup for your burger?" You go to reach the bottle and stop yourself, you give sans a knowing look and refuse. She smirks and unscrews the cap, "More for me then." You then watch as sans drinks the entirety of the bottle to your utter shock. She is good. You focus back on your burger, not wanting to acknowledge that sans is scratching at her ear with a rear hoof. "Even if Papyrus wasn't cool, you can agree that she tries her best in everything she sets herself to. She's been doing everything she can to be a member of the royal guard, y'know?"

Sans leans back a little in her seat, "She went right up to the door of the head of the royal guard's house and was begging to be let in. Problem was that it was midnight and the head guard just wanted to sleep. When the head guard woke up though, they saw Papyrus still standing there. She was just eyeballing the door and didn't move a muscle from her spot." You joke that it must be easy for a skeleton to not move a muscle since they don't usually have one. Sans nods, "You beat me to it, well done. Back on topic, the head decided from there that Papyrus was going to get warrior's training. Considering you're still standing, you can tell that it's a work in progress."

Her head lowers and her hooves move into her coat, "I've... been meaning to ask you about something." You don't know how, but you feel the rest of the room go away with just you and sans in that one place. "Have you ever heard of a talking flower?"

Your heart sinks into the pit of your body. There's only one kind of talking flower you know of and if its threats were true, it was still watching. You grow paranoid and scoot closer to sans, trying to get the message that you are aware of Flowey without that creature knowing that you're letting sans know. Sans sinks a little deeper into her seat, "So, you already know...about the echo flower." You really hope that sans was trying to keep things secret with not mentioning the flower's name.

"They're all over the marsh and will repeat what was said to them over and over and over once more," Sans continues in her serious tone. "Papyrus was saying something about it, the talking flower part. She told me that when no one else is around a flower will appear and whisper words of encouragement, flattery, advice, even predictions to her." She looks up from the bar and her burger, "I think someone is playing tricks with her using an echo flower. Just want you to keep an eye open for anyone suspicious, okay?"

The bar comes back and sans pushes her plate away, "This was a long break, can't believe you pulled me away from work for so long." You can tell sans is trying to change her mood again to her usual playfulness, but you know that she's rather shaken with what she has told you. "I'm flat broke, would you mind paying the bill? It's just... 10,000Gs."

You feel light-headed and your body starts shutting down in protest. Before you become comatose, sans starts laughing again. "I was just joking! No need to get a heart attack, bud!" You try to calm down as sans tells Grillby to put this on her tab and hops off her seat. She stretches a little and then turns back to you. "By the way," she begins and then goes silent. She looks like she really wants to tell you something, but then shrugs and gives a sigh. "I forgot what I wanted to say to you." She happily leaves Grillby's and you take a bite out of your hayburger, finding it rather cold and bland for being left alone for so long.

Putting the burger down, you just ease off your seat and exit Grillby's. Yep, you're back in Snowdin. No shortcut from where you stand. Giving a small grumble you start back when you see Papyrus standing outside a home. It couldn't hurt to say hello, so you approach her.

Seeing you again, Papyrus gets excited. "You have come back for the date! That must mean you're takin' this seriously, so I am gonna as well!" Her eyes seem to shine as she gets into her usual daydreaming like you've seen in her fights, "Yes! I'll take you someplace special! Someplace I spend a lot of time!" She sprints away in a direction and you try to catch her, wherever she's going it is probably a unique location that you may not have seen before. The running stops and Papyrus points to her special place to take you on a date... the house she was just in front of. "My house!"

She leads you inside and then stands by a wall, allowing you to explore the place to your leisure. It's a... unique home. There's a kitchen in front of you, the living room is where you stand now, and a staircase leads to the second floor which you have yet to check out. The first thing you look at is a rock on a plate; it is covered in sprinkles. "My sister sans is meant to care for that pet rock, and she still can't get around to feedin' the poor thing. I've been takin' up the responsibility for it, but I'm hoping to talk with her about the problem."

You go to check the kitchen but freeze at the oddity beside the entrance to the kitchen, namely a sock and multiple sticky notes around it.

"Sans! Pick up your dadgum sock!"

"Okie Dokie."

"Why'd you put it back down?! Move it!"

"Okie Dokie."

"You moved it two inches! Quit messin' and move it to YOUR ROOM!

"Okie Dokie."

"AND DON'T BRING IT BACK!"

"Okie Dokie."

"IT'S. STILL. HERE!!!!"

"Wait, didn't you tell me to not bring it back to my room?"

"forget it."

You try your best to ignore the sock and move into the kitchen. The sink is placed WAY too high in here, not even Papyrus can reach up and turn a faucet without the use of a ladder. Papyrus seems proud of you taking notice of the sink. "Glad your takin' notice of the sink. Made the cabinet bigger underneath it so I can stash more bones. Go ahead, open it up and take a look inside!"

You go to open the door, but instead it opens by itself. The inside reveals that same white dog from before gnawing on another bone. Papyrus grabs for some rope and quickly makes a lasso, "You ain't gettin' away this time, meddlesome canine!" The dog runs out and Papyrus throws her lasso. She misses the dog and manages to rope you instead. The dog escapes through the front door with its bone and Papyrus throws down her hat in frustration. "Dagnabbit!"

From the second floor, you see sans and a trombone. She gives out a 'Wah-Wah-Waaaah' and then promptly disappears. This makes Papyrus jump up and down in frustration. "SANS! I told you not to plague my life with your incidental music!"

You remove the lasso from yourself and hang the rope back where it was. Now if Papyrus used that kind of technique in her attempts to capture you, then you could see yourself getting into more trouble than you had initially encountered. Moving from the kitchen, you step in front of the television and press the power button. You are awash with colors and a fast-paced energetic music. You can't bring yourself to shut it off.

Papyrus seems excited and moves next to you. "Heck yeah! My favorite game-show is on!" She then gives a little frown, "Oh. It's the Stay Tuned for a New Program show, nevermind. The channel is usually better than this..." She gives a look to you, "Don't judge me based on this."

You will yourself to shut the television off and blink to clear your mind and vision. You move to a joke book on a table beside a couch and open it up. You get confused at finding another book inside. You open the quantum physics book within the joke book to find another joke book inside. You spend the next few moments opening the quantum physics and joke books until you give up and just shut it altogether.

You've seen enough of the first floor and head upstairs. The door on the opposite side of the stairs is radiating some colors underneath it. This was where sans had appeared above you so you assume this must be her room. You give a tug at the door and find it locked. What sort of secret projects could be inside? You may never know.

The other door you passed is pasted with multiple warnings and tape that reads 'CAUTION!'. There's also a note posted on the door noting that 'No girls are allowed! No boys are allowed! Papyrus allowed!'" Papyrus moves upstairs with you and gives you a sideways glance, "If ya finished lookin' around, we could go in my room and do... whatever it is others do on a date." You give Papyrus the door and she leads you into her room.

The room has a rustic farm feel, except the truck...bed...apple... what exactly is that thing? Papyrus pats the trusty bed of the apple truck. "This here is my bed. If I were to get a moment to reach the surface above, I'd drive through the dirt roads. The wind runnin' through my mane.... the sun on my coat..." She gives a hopeful sigh. "It's just a dream, but when I get under the covers and go to sleep.. I can cruise while I take a snooze." Papyrus rocks on her hooves, "So, uhh... You want to start the date?"

You shrug and tell Papyrus when she wants to start, go for it. Papyrus pumps a hoof, "Alright! Dating Start!" You are brought into the black and white realm where you have fought before, but this time you don't see your normal options show up. Papyrus is looking through her uniform for something. "I haven't actually done this date thing before, but no one can't spell prepared without usin' several letters from my name!" She reveals what was hidden in her uniform, a small book. "A-ha! The official datin' rulebook, courtesy of the local library!"

Opening it she flips through a few pages, "Step One: Press the 'C' Key to activate the dating HUD." She looks around for a second and then plops a keyboard on the ground; its unplugged. She finds the 'C' on the keyboard and bashes a hoof into it. HUD shows up, filling up with information about nearby population, a radar, even a weather report that reads out the next few hours. "That takes care of that," Papyrus mumbles and sweeps the keyboard from the floor. "Step Two: Ask them out on a date. Well, that one's gonna be easy, just need to back up a bit."

Papyrus steps back and takes in a breath or two. "Pony! I, The Great Papyrus am requesting that you go on a date with me!" You tell Papyrus that you are actually still being serious about the date, this has been about the fourth time she's requested it. Papyrus blushes slightly and lowers her hate to try and cover her face, "Ain't I the lucky one?" Her blush quickly ends as she reads from the book again, "Step Three: Put on nice clothes to show how much you care!"

Papyrus lowers the book a little and then puts it down on the floor, intently looking at you. "Hold on a second, sugarcube... that there bandana around your neck..." She gasps, "You're wearin' clothing right now! Before that, I saw you wear another piece of clothing while we were fightin'! Those gloves!" She looks woozy, "That can't- No... Can it? Have you been meaning to date me from the start?!"

You decide to tease Papyrus and tell her that it was indeed your intentions. Her eyeballs come to her sockets, a bright green as they look askew in total disbelief. "You planned it! You planned it all from the beginning! You're way better at dating than I am!"

Above Papyrus you see a new meter measuring your current dating power. It's filled up about a third of the way. Papyrus pushes her eyeballs back and nervously starts laughing again, trying to put on her usual confidence. "Don't you think that I've been bested just yet! I ain't been beaten by no one else in datin' and I ain't planning to start! I have my own clothing!"

Papyrus zooms to her closet and shuts herself in. There's an audible sound of rummaging and the occasional thud from inside. She then rushes back out and slides back where she was. What was once heroic clothing was now replaced with a red checkered button shirt with 'Cool Chick' stitched on the front and her flank is covered in short denim shorts. "Neigh Heh Heh! What do you think of this; my secret style!"

You admit to her that she looks rather cool in her new outfit and once more she balks underneath your genuine compliment. She tries to right herself as your dating power meter rises slowly. She finally stands straight and points a hoof at you, "But you have yet to understand the hidden power of my outfit! Your compliment is invalid and this date will not proceed until you find the secret. That won't happen while I'm standin'!"

You carefully observe Papyrus' outfit, wondering what must be different. You first point to Papyrus' hind legs and the denim jeans. Papyrus laughs, "There's no secret to my legs! It's all built on hard work and perseverance!" You point to her button shirt and she looks down at it. "The shirt didn't have 'Cool' or 'Chick' on it originally, I had to get some help to improve it." You are stumped and just point to her hat.

Papyrus tries to play coy, "My.. hat..." She raises it and unveils a gifted present balanced on her skull. "Yeah... there's the secret. It's a present meant for you." You open it while it remains on Papyrus' head and see the wet noodles and the oregano spread out ever so minimally just to accent the tomato sauce. This is... no...

"Spaghetti... This is what you're thinking isn't it?" Papyrus continues to play coy as you step back. "But you would be wrong!" She takes a hoof and sweeps the plate of hot and steamy noodle from her head and puts it under your nose. "This is my most fanciful work! Silken spaghetti, aged in an oaken cask. The noodles then cooked and handled by the master chef, Papyrus!" A fork jams into the food and Papyrus seems more confident than anything she has been in before. Not even during her attacks has she seemed so certain. "It's time to end this, pony! You can never get any further than-!"

You spin the fork and float the bite into your mouth, using your magic. Just biting down into it, your face starts scrunching in out of reflex. You can't tell if you've eaten the worst possible thing that you can think of OR it is the best and most wondrous experience that your tastes are unable to get a proper description. Papyrus sees the tears welling up in your eyes as you swallow the bite. "That expression on your face... that level of passion." She steps back, unable to hold back your dating power. "You love my cooking, by doin' so you must also love me! That face reveals that you love me more than I love myself!"

She looks so burnt out in shock that she seems to hang in place. "Pony... it's so clear to me now. Everything that you've done. Everything that has been said. It's all because you're madly in love with me. I want you to be happy too. I, Papyrus..."

She wobbles for a second and starts to sweat... wait that's water condensate from the rising steam of the spaghetti on her head. "Is- Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" She seems dejected, "Aw, horseshoes. I can't lie to you, pony. I don't like you the same way that you like me. Romantically, I mean. I wanted this to work since you flirted with me and I tried my hardest but... I couldn't get those feelings to come through."

She sets the plate from her head to a side table and puts her hat over her face. "I failed. By dating you I've only drawn you in further down the path of your intense love for me." She goes quiet and then puts her hat back on, "No! I won't let this happen to my friend! I got you into that mess and I'm takin' you out of it! I'd never forgive myself if I lost your friendship, so don't start weeping over the fact that you and I won't kiss. I don't have lips."

She puts a hoof on your shoulder, "You keep that chin up and you'll find someone that's only second-best to me!" She brushes past your pack and throws in a small piece of paper, "There's my phone number if you need to reach me. Call me any time. Platonically. No romance. Have to go."

Papyrus rushes out of her room and you are left in her room to try and get over your wave of emotions running through your gut. Your attempts to keep everything together fills you with determination.

Comments

[SuperKamek]

Ignore all those dislikes. They're just people who don't like Undertale and thus don't like your content. Your stuff is great! Keep it up!

[Kauetheadventurer246]

That is how I felt when I eat that food.