Day to Day: A story of a Royal Guard armorer

by HelicalGear

Wonder and Chaos

Author's Note:

I particularly enjoyed figuring out this chapter. It's a bit shorter than I wanted, but I was procrastinating far too much.
Written within the Quill & Blade universe, with permission from Anzel.
To view and support the official Quill & Blade fiction check out http://quillnblade.com/ and support Anzel and Crystal Wishes on Patreon.

Day to Day
A Story of a Royal Guard Armorer.

Wonder and Chaos

I yawned and rolled over in my bed as the alarm chimed its overly-happy reminder that I was on duty in two hours, it was always happy when it got to do its duty, it’s just a shame its duty was to wake me up from dreams of being a famous stallion secret agent who all the mares fawned over and always had the best carriages to race through the streets in. I groaned and with a swift hoof I silenced the alarm and groggily rolled out of the guard dorm standard issue bed, which wasn’t a bad bed, but I heard the officers quarters were like the Princess’s private chambers by comparison.

After getting washed and dressed in my armor I stood before a mirror and checked that I was presentable. Although I worked in a wing of the palace that was rarely visited by anypony of note we always made sure our gray armor with brass engineer shield on the breast was as good as the PG or the HG, we had pride in our work and our uniform was our representation of the work that, largely, went unnoticed. That’s how it goes as part of the Engineers, if we do it right then hardly anypony would notice.

I made my way to the armory, occasionally looking out to see the sun rising steadily into the morning sky, it looked like it was going to be a pretty good day out there. I made a mental note to have lunch outside as I arrived at the QM office and signed myself in fifteen minutes before my shift started. I nodded to Sergeant Park, who smiled in return as I entered. She was one of the most diligent ponies on Alpha and was in charge of all inventory during her squads night duties. I knew her more by reputation than any real contact as Alpha’s shift generally finished as the ponies of Bravo came on to start the day duties.

Moving through the QM store towards the metal working area I could have sworn I heard a noise among the stored suits of armor. Taking a moment to peer down the isles I shook my head before I carried on to my work station.

As the rest of Alpha began to clear up and sign off for the day I picked up my work sheet to see what was needed to be done today. It was nothing out of the ordinary, reading aloud to myself.

“Three bucking targets to repair, two to build” I muttered.

“One set of hinges for a door in the officer training academy”

“One sheep to be covered in candyfloss and-...”

I blinked then looked around as one of my squad mates, Guard first class Devine tilted her head, peering at me as if I had lost my mind.

“Did you say sheep and candyfloss?” She arched an eyebrow, moving to stand beside me and peer at the work sheet.

“Um.. That’s what it says. One of Alpha’s ponies must be pulling my wing” I said before Devine pointed at the page.

“Your kidding right?... It clearly says ‘Make twenty nine steel cat flaps’ ..Which seems odd” She spoke with a tone that suggests we were both wrong.

I looked at her then at the page “I am getting confused” Then I saw it! The words changed before our eyes and we both took a step back, dropping the page.

“What the hay is going on?” Devine asked, her eyes looking around for a mischievous unicorn or bottle of ‘joke ink’

“I’m not sure” I mumbled, my own eyes seeking out an NCO or the Lieutenant.

The clatter of metal drew everyponies attention as the racks of armor shuddered and the suits began to move, hopping form their stands and charging around... Hoof guards, saddles, helmets, all appearing to move as if invisible ponies had donned them and were jousting each other.

The suits ran into each other, banged into walls and generally made a huge ruckus as all the members of Bravo squad stood there, confounded. None of us knew what to say or do as the entire armory descended into a state of utter confusion and chaos.

“Everypony! Focus! Check the locks on the weapon racks!” Steelmane yelled over the cacophony of clashing metal.

The sergeants voice cut through our stupor and set our hooves in motion. Dashing to the cages I checked the locks, all seemed to be in order before I heard a yell from the metal shop. Somepony had been polishing some of the service swords, I got to the metal shop to see Comet Twist, one of the biggest earthpony stallions next to Steelmane, in a duel with a floating spear, his own service sword in his mouth. I blinked as I watched him take on the ghostly weapon with surprising dexterity. She made a few swings and blocks before turning on his forehooves and bucking the spear in two, sending it across the metal shop where the parts lay motionless.

“Are you alright?” I shouted over the background noise.
He nodded “I think so, make sure the others are too” I straightened my posture then made my way back towards the QM store.

It was utter madness, ponies wrestling with suits of armor, adding additional locks and barricading the weapons cages. All while other things were going on that made even less sense, outside, one of the others reported of chocolate rain and pink clouds, this was intense. Weather aside, the happenings inside the armory were more important, I moved through the place, helping ponies grapple with the rogue armor and tie it down with rope that occasionally turned into snakes as we endeavored to bring some order to the mess.

The door to the armory suddenly burst in in a golden light, drawing the attention of all of us. I blinked as I saw the Lieutenant, her eyes intense with anger as she screamed and let forth a bolt of magic that struck a suit of armor that was galloping towards her, practically turning it inside out with the screech of rending metal.

Everypony stopped to watch our lieutenant as she charged in, taking on all the suits we hadn’t caught yet, then I seen it, the reason for her unbridled fury, what I guessed was once her armor was transparent and gold in color, and.. dripping from her. As she galloped past me I caught a faint scent of caramel, well, it seems this odd magic had a sense of humor, she always kept a box a caramel sweets in her desk, and now she was wearing it.

It took all of us several hours to get the place under control before everything stopped. Armor collapsed on the floor, weapons stopped rattling their cages and a general silence descended on the armory. Everything was back to normal, except the Lieutenants armor, which still dripped off her.

“I want everything tidied up before the end of Bravo’s shift, get to it!” Shimmer Stone yelled as she moved slowly around, inspecting suits and weapons. She turned to see half of us looking at her.

“What! Do I have something on my face?” She said in agitation

“No ma’am!” Steelmane said, clearly fighting against the smile bubbling under his professional demeanor.

The lieutenant gave him a dangerous glare, it would have been more dangerous looking but part of her former helmet ran down between her eyes. At that moment she seemed to realize how she must have looked and.

Letting out an exasperated roar she stormed off, calling back “Someone prepare my backup suit, once I have this stuff off me I expect us to be back to regular work”

I looked to Steelmane who finally cracked a smile “I don’t think a shower will cut it... ” He chuckled then set about getting us back into some kind of order.

Comments

[HeadPaige]

Damn it discord

[Fistfire]

More please. I would like to see it continue.