Helical Gear gave up his life as a clock maker to become a Royal guard.
Feeling a sense of duty to Equestria, Helical Gear decided to leave his comfortable life in Baltimare as a master timepiece maker and take up a life in the Royal Guard in Canterlot where his duty lies with keeping all the equipment the guard use in tip top condition, no matter what happens. Written within the Quill & Blade universe, with permission from Anzel. To view and support the official Quill & Blade fiction check out http://quillnblade.com/ and support Anzel and Crystal Wishes on Patreon.
Ponies often ask what ones profession is, and for a royal guard that is easy to answer. They guard the most important ponies in Equestria and make it their duty to see that official functions, meetings and public events are safe for their VIP and the ponies who gather to see them. From the outside, the Canterlot Guard, Royal Guard and even the House Guard, to an extent, look like one big organization. The rank, uniform and duties can seem so alike that your regular pony wouldn't even notice the difference until it was pointed out to them. I guess this works well to show the guard as one big, well oiled machine that works so efficiently that nopony can or even cares to notice the complex structure that makes up the Royal Canterlot Guard.
This, however, is where a pony like me comes in to burst the bubble of that outward uniformity. Of course, the Princess's have their own House Guard, with their own particular uniforms to set them aside from most guard units. Then you have the Palace guard, who although they look similar to Princess Celestia's guard, have their own differences. Then you have the City Guard, who again, have different requirements. This is the kind of imformation I have been trained and taught to understand.
I am Helical Gear, a specialist within the Canterlot Guard Armory, and my job is to ensure that all equipment, armor, weapons, training aids and so on are built, maintained, stored and modified as per the request of the officers and individuals within the Canterlot Guard. I have not always been a member of the guard, in fact, before enlisting I was a timepiece maker in Baltimare with a pretty comfortable life until ambition began to push me to do something bigger in life. My work was well known throughout the major cities of Equestria and I had even been commissioned by the Royal Palace. Visiting the palace to deliver my works had been an inspiration to me. Seeing the guards up close and even talking to one or two during my visit had made me see that if I had the chance turn my hoof to something, that would do ponies more good than being able to read the time, might be worth a shot. I know it wasn’t going to be an easy change of lifestyle and that my life building clocks was not the best experience to prepare me for what I wanted to do, but something in the posture of the guards gave me pause. So proud, upright and confident, meanwhile, the best I could manage was hunch over a workbench. What I created had been called beautiful, but clocks and watches tend to only have a rather singular purpose. I started to wonder if I could be protecting ponies with my craftponyship rather than simply allow them to declare what time it was. After that visit I decided to leave my shop in my uncles hooves and join the guard.
The recruitment officer stared at me across the table in the Baltimare recruitment center, his eyebrow raised in curiosity as he reviewed my papers. The older stallion, a unicorn with a dark gray coat and faded blonde mane looked up to me. "You make clocks.." "Yes sir" "And now... you want to be a guard?" "That’s... Why I’m here..... Uh, sir" I forced a smile that maybe looked more confident than I felt. The recruitment officer gave me a dangerous glance. Ok, note to self, sense of humor is optional. "No family background in the military, tradition of inventors and engineers, all with good money and good lives" He continued in a deep, lethargic monotone. "Correct sir" "Why do you wish to join the guard and give up all this?" I had to consider the question carefully, the wrong answer would make him skeptical and perhaps revoke my enlistment papers. I sat a moment and pondered what to say. I had even practiced my response before coming to the interview, but now I was here, now it was real. "Clocks tend to only protect ponies from being late to work, I would like a chance to do more than that"I stated, hoping the minor joke would come across more sincere. The recruitment officer tilted his head, his stern look held for another moment before he smiled... slightly. "Well, it still seems silly to me, giving up a comfortable life like you have now, but I see the reasoning behind what you want to do. I can't fault that."
The next six months of my life were just what every other guard experiences. Weeks of training, lectures, inspections, shouting, galloping, making mistakes then making different mistakes, being tested and finally, passing out as a guard. Where things differ for me was the week after passing out.
I was sat outside the Pony Resource office in the palace, idly waiting my training review and assignment orders. Looking to the wall opposite I peered at the recruitment board. It seemed to me that nearly every guard unit was recruiting. City Guard, Palace Guard, and even Princess Luna's House Guard. I recalled a speech that was given to us on the importance of procedure and using our heads by one of the guards assigned to Princess Luna. He was a stern, matter-of-fact kind of pony, I remember thinking that although his speech felt a little ...scripted... that he was very confident and was a good example of the quality the House Guard demanded. Now don't get me wrong, protecting royalty is a vital job, but I am not overly keen on standing still for so long, which was made apparent during my training where my drill and parade scores were some of the lowest on my record. I blame the muffin eating contest our cadre had the night before our final ceremonial assessment.
The officer door opened and a pale green earthpony mare with a black mane appeared around to look at me, she wore the rank of Warrant Officer. "Guard Helical Gear, come in" She said, motioning into the office. I followed her in and stood next to the chair, waiting as she moved around and sat, before nodding to me, I took my seat and sat upright, shoulders square. "So, in case you don't know, in this meeting I will be reviewing your training and what ever comments your instructors have put in before I issue you with your assigned duties, is that clear?" "Yes ma'am" I said, nodding for emphasis. "Good" She opened a folder on her desk and began to look through it. She showed no reactions to what she read as her blue eyes scanned the pages at an almost leisurely pace. "Your intellectual tests and physical training are good, your drill seems to be somewhat lacking. Fair pony relation skills" She rhymed off a few more of the highlights and down points on my file before closing it then fixing me with a stern gaze that caused me to stiffen my posture, ‘here it comes’ I thought to myself. "You are a -fair- guard Helical, with some skills excelling and some aspects that still need work. Is that fair to say?" "Yes ma'am" "Well, let's first work with what you have, a background in metalworking, specifically creating small, intricate items. So let's put that to use shall we?" I nodded "Yes ma'am" She nodded in return and slid a piece of paper across the table towards me. "Guard Helical Gear, you are assigned to the palace guard armory. There you will undertake further training on the forging, fitting and how to maintain all of the various kinds of armor, weapons and such that the Palace Guard and both House Guard units use in their day to day work and practice. Please report to Sergeant Steelmane who will be your supervisor" I looked at the paper a moment then returned my gaze to the Warrant Officer. "Understood ma'am" I said, trying to suppress a smile as best I could, there was no way I could have asked for a better place to be, or so I thought right then at least. She narrowed her eyes, waiting to see if my efforts to remain professional would hold up "Dismissed" She said after a moment. "Thank you ma'am" I got up and left the room, closing the door on the way out I let out a long breath then smiled. I was going to put my skills and talent to real use! I was joining the Palace Guard Engineering section.
Sergeant Steelmane looked at me for a long moment. I was stood at attention trying to keep my eyes front while he measured me up. The sergeant was a tough looking earthpony stallion who seemed to be the ‘Earthpony Way’ personified. He was bulky with wide shoulders and a thick neck, even in his armor I could tell there wasn’t one ounce of fat more than the the body needed. He had a shimmering white mane and a dark gray coat and his eyes were an intense green that, right now, seemed to pierce my armor to gaze upon my soul. I know most sergeants command respect but Steelmane got it with nothing more than a look. Finally he motioned to the papers I had gave him.
“So I put in request after request for ponies who can lift heavy things and have experience with forges and metal beating... And they send me a watchmaker” His voice seemed to rumble around his office like thunder.
I remained at attention, remembering that I must stay quiet until a question was directed at me. He continued; “What am I supposed to do with a watchmaking Pegasus? Build little clocks into every guards suit of armor to remind them how long they have left on their shifts? Or how long a meeting has overrun?” In my head I wondered just how practical that would be. Did he mean embedded in the plate? Surely that would be awkward, having to crane ones neck to turn your head upside down to even tell the time. Maybe if it was designed to look like a medal.
“Are you deaf?” Steelmane thundered, causing me to flinch. “No sergeant!” I replied on instinct then immediately regretted it. “Then what did I just say?” “Sergeant?” ”What, did, I, just, say?” His tone became low, measured, dangerous “Sergeant, I didn’t hear what you said” Honesty, if it helps to get the next bit over with, all the better. “I asked what am I supposed to do with you!” He didn’t roar, he looked like he was actually at a loss for a moment. It made me think this wasn’t the first time his specific requests had been ignored.
“Sergeant. I was told my experience in metalworking was useful to this section” He sighed, getting up from his desk he moved around to stand in front of me. He was taller, quite taller, the top of my head was level with his chin. As he loomed over me, his eyes shifted to the office door before looking back to me.
“Look. I don’t need intricate work done here. I need armor made, fitted and prepared for new ponies or as replacement suits for existing guards. Perhaps your particular skills may come in useful, but your primary function here is to make, mend and modify. Clear?” “Yes Sergeant” I responded “Good” His demeanor seemed to relax, was the initial moments an act? Or was he trying to throw me off guard?
Sergeant Steelmane walked past me to the door, opening it and looking back towards me. I still had my back to him while I remained at attention. “Let’s give you the grand tour” He stated flatly I fell in behind him and followed as he led me into the armory.
To call the place simply an armory wasn’t exactly true to its purpose. It didn’t take me long to see that it was more than just a place where the martial needs of the royal guard were made and stored. I could see workshops of every kind, metalworking, woodworking, tailors and such. Every workshop was geared towards materials used rather than equipment made, which in my mind made a lot of sense. Streamlining production in this way left ponies making one or two particular items before passing them to a ‘final’ workshop that assembled the product ready to be issued. It left the skilled ponies working on material and items they understood intimately without needing an in depth knowledge of other areas.
The sergeant led me through the workshops, briefly explaining what each did and pointing out the ponies who were on duty that day. Most looked at me and nodded, one or two even smiled, but right now I felt very much like the outsider. These ponies were professionals, experts, and it showed in their work. Steelmane brought me into the storage area, which backed on to the quartermasters office. My eyes went wide as I seen every piece of standard issue gear racked up on shelves or locked within safe storage cages, the latter kept aside for blades, spears and such.
“As you are aware, Princess Luna’s house guard are relatively new. And as such we are playing a little game of catch up to ensure the armor that was designed for them is built as per the original design. We are lucky they don’t have too many ponies yet, but I am making sure we are ready for and influx of recruits”
The sergeant was explaining as we walked past a rack of brand new light and dark purple suits of plate armor. On each was a tag which had a standardized size or a name with measurement corrections that had been done to that particular suit.
It was a lot to take in as I followed Steelmane towards the QM’s office. The sergeant motioned for me to stop. Standing to attention I waited and could hear two voices talking from within the office. Sergeant Steelmane knocked on the door and stood to attention alongside me. I arched my eyebrow, he glanced at me and nodded firmly.
The door opened and a unicorn stallion with a fiery orange coat and red mane and blue eyes peered out at us, his dark gray armor displayed the rank of First Sergeant. “Ah, Sergeant Steelmane, right on time” The stallion looked back into the office “Ma’am, the sergeant found our new tea-pony” He said with a smirk in my direction, I didn’t move.
From within the office strode an earthpony mare with a sand colored coat and yellow mane. Her helmet was off, allowing me to see her mane which was cropped short, her purple eyes peered at me with a hint of amusement, hopefully form the First Sergeants words and not my actual appearance.
“Guard Helical Gear, nice to meet you” she said evenly, her expression turning more formal as she addressed me.
“Thank you ma’am” “I trust Sergeant Steelmane has showed you around?” “Yes Ma’am” “Good, I am Lieutenant Shimmer Stone, welcome to the Royal Canterlot Guard Engineers, but RCGE will do” She nodded before continuing. “This is First Sergeant Molten Heart” She motioned to her right where he stood at a casual approximation of attention. “I am sure you have a fair idea of what we do here, and what we expect form you” It wasn’t a question, at least, I don;t think it was... Play it safe Heli “Yes ma’am” I said, eliciting a Small nod form the First Sergeant.
The Lieutenant nodded then turned her attention to Steelmane. “He’s all yours Sergeant... First Sergeant, we best get back to work” She moved back into the office followed by Molten Heart. “Did someone say tea?” I heard the Lieutenant say just as the door closed.
Sergeant Steelmane and I relaxed our postures, he looked to me with a slight smirk. “Three tea’s Helical, Guard Standard” He said before trotting off towards another guard who was inspecting some racks filled with helmets that appeared to be for the City guard.
“Guard Standard?” I said aloud to nopony in particular From within the QM office a male voice shouted “Milk and two, tea-pony!”
The first two months of being a.. Tea-pony, were quite a sharp learning curve for me, it soon became apparent why Steelmane was so annoyed at pony resources for ignoring his specific requests, time and time again.
None of the work the sergeant mentored me on was anywhere close to the work I had done in my civilian life, and it really took its toll on me physically.
Every evening I dragged myself to the dorm room before collapsing on my bed and passing out almost immediately.
“Hey.... Heli?... Wakey wakey!” A loud voice shouted in my ear as I slowly woke up.
“Get up!” A hoof impacted the side of my face and I startled, bolting upright.
“What the hay Burg!” I shouted at my roommate, Burgundy Spice.
He laughed and tilted his head as I climbed out of bed and shook furiously. Burg was a Guard First Class with Alpha squad and worked the night shift in the wood shop.
In the Lieutenants wisdom, she tried to pair new ponies with more experienced ones to share dorms with. That way unit morale and comradeship would remain high, and the lessons of the experienced guards could be passed along to us tea-ponies, as she called us, through casual conversation as well as official apprentice and buddy systems. She was a fine officer when it came to understanding pony skills and teaching by example.
“Aww don’t be so angry bud... I would hate it for you to be late when your on point for stock check duty” He smirked that confident smirk that he knew wound me up.
“Oh. Stock check. I am so excited” I sighed in an over-dramatic fashion. In reality stock checking was the easiest duty in the RCGE. It consisted mostly of cross checking items removed, returned or taken for repairs from the main QM store, and was always a good opportunity to learn from First Sergeant Molten.
“Ok, so that’s forty City Guard suits, twenty five Palace Guard, fourteen CHG and eight LHG suits” I nodded to First Sergeant Molten before continuing, looking back to the clipboard I had cradled in a wing.
“Eighty service swords, seventy six service spears and one hundred crossbows currently in inventory, First Sergeant” I concluded.
He nodded “Very good, and the custom orders?”
“We have four suits in for modification, all for LHG boss” I confirmed.
“They must have some real small ponies up there” Molten stated with a smirk. “Very well, Helical, Let’s continue on with scheduling monthly spot checks on each guard unit, particularly the City Guard since they generally ding their armor more often than the others”
“Yes boss” I nodded
“Your shaping up well, by the way. How are you finding it so far?” Molten asked casually.
“I am enjoying things here, boss, some days are a bit.. Slow. Mostly I enjoy the staff over the more mundane aspects of the work” I cracked a little smile.
Molten grinned “Mhm, careful the Lieutenant doesn’t hear you say that, otherwise you may find yourself standing door guard for two weeks” He chuckled.
A voice broke Moltens chuckle “Who am I punishing now?” The Lieutenant stood at the end of the row of weapons cages, peering at us with a mischievous look in her eye.
The first sergeant and I stiffened to attention “Nopony ma’am” we both chimed in unison.
“Is that so?” She approached us slowly, moving to my side and peering over my shoulder at the clipboard I was still holding.
“Good work Helical. But there seems to be one error” She pointed out lightly.
“Ma’am?” I said in confusion.
“Mhm, four sets of CHG and nine sets of PG ceremonial” She stated, eyeing the First Sergeant who gave a tiny shrug.
“Well.... Maybe if I had given you this three hours ago” Her magic opened her saddle bag and a piece of paper floated to my clipboard.
“The Gala is this week and the guards on duty there need their ceremonial suits checked, cleaned and issued. I have their names listed there so it shouldn’t be too much hassle” She paused to give Molten a look, he seemed to stifle a chuckle before she leaned in close to my ear and said in a low tone.
“Unless it is too mundane for you to consider a priority?”
“No ma’am!” I nearly shouted
“Good, have fun!” She said before moving off “Carry on by the way!” she called over her shoulder.
“Twenty nine hours” I said in annoyance, my left eye twitching slightly “Twenty nine hours it took to sort, clean and issue those suits”
Before me lay every suit of guard armor issued for the gala, my eye twitched as I surveyed the carnage before me.
Every suit was dented, scraped or covered in what was probably at one point a very nicely decorated cake.
“You should see the main hall” First Sergeant Molten and Sergeant Steelmane both toned solemnly.
The three of us stared at the suits in silence for a while before the Lieutenant appeared at Steelmane’s shoulder.
“It was a wild night for sure. Nopony was hurt but I think we really need to have a look at the materials they used to build those columns” She spoke in quiet disbelief.
We motioned to stand to attention but she waved a hoof at us. “Ok, well... We have a lot of work to do. I brought in Charlie Squad and tasked them with the main hall. Alpha had the night off and are on standby in case we need to do some major work. So it’s up to you stallions and mares of Bravo to get these.... Former cake decorations cleaned, repaired and stored as quick as you can”
All three of us nodded as she trotted to her office “First Sergeant, a word please” She called back.
“Yes ma’am!” Molten moved off to catch up with the Lieutenant, leaving me alone with Steelmane.
“I heard someone say once that parts of this job were mundane” Steelmane said to nopony in particular.
“Whoever said that, Sergeant, never had to bare witness to the aftermath of a gala”
It took all of Bravo squad two days to wrap up the cleaning and repairs of the ceremonial issue armor, we had found all sorts in there, bits of statute wedged in between plates, cake, what appeared to be acid burns but upon closer inspection turned out to be cola stains, I will never drink that stuff again! And even claw marks from what some ponies were sure belonged to squirrels and badgers. If this is what the gala was like every year then I had no intention of attending, duty or not!
I was finishing storing the repaired suits, which would bring me to the end of my shift, when Sergeant Steelmane appeared.
“Helical, the Lieutenant wants to see you”
“Yes Sergeant” I said. He nodded and moved to take over my task as I made my way to Shimmer Stone’s office.
I knocked the office door and waited.
“Enter” She said firmly.
Opening the door, I moved into her office before closing it behind me and moving to stand to attention in front of the Lieutenants desk.
She sat behind it with some paperwork spread across its surface. Looking up at me she said “At ease” in the same, firm tone of voice. It sounded like I was in trouble.
“Helical, you have been with us nearly three months now, so I think it’s high time we had a chat. Consider it a review if you like”
“Yes ma’am, understood”
“I have gathered reports from your squad NCO and form First Sergeant Molten. As well as Burgundy Spice” Her tone seemed to change a touch, less formal, which in my experience meant I was either going to be fired or this was going to be a good chat.
“Understood ma’am” I repeated.
“When you came here your discipline was a little lagging in comparison to the standards of the regular guard units. I believe that has improved a bit. Even in the more casual atmosphere we are granted here”
I nodded as she continued.
“Time-keeping is good. Enthusiasm good... Somewhat dulled by the gala” She smirked playfully.
She read through a list to herself for a moment before making eye contact.
“Social skills... Bad. Need improvement” she stated. I raised a brow.
“Ma’am?”
“Burgundy said in his report you don’t go out much, says you complain of being too tired to go out” She face was like a stone.
“Ma’am... I .. Um” I stammered, this was a bit personal for a review, surely?
As if reading my thoughts she continued “Your social life may not affect your work ethic, which is a real plus I have to point out, you work as hard as the most experienced in the Engineers. But if I had to be the one to give you any life lesson, it would be to make time and go out now and then. You will end up missing something you might enjoy if you stay in and sleep between shifts” She smiles softly, which was a dangerous look, so the First Sergeant told me.
“With that all said, I have two tickets to the theater for tomorrow evening. Your off duty and I intend to make sure you do something social for a change”
My mind spun in confusion. “Are you....”
“It’s not a date” She stated seriously, I flushed.
“I want to make sure that the ponies I keep in my unit are the best. That includes being good in social situations too, because Celestia knows we don’t get much of that within our unit”
She had a point, as guard engineers we rarely got called off-site as, typically, the work was brought to us.
“I don't supposed I can just... Go out myself?”
“Nope!” She almost sang
“Understood ma’am”
“Good! See you at eight, formal civilian dress, dismissed!”
Leaving her office I wondered if she did this with every pony who didn’t like social activities. Spying Steelmane looking at me with a look of utter pity confirmed my thoughts.
So here I am with no hope of escaping. I just had to endure the evening without making any mistakes that Lieutenant Shimmer Stone would think unprofessional or un-stallionlike. Shouldn’t be too hard right?
Shimmer was currently dabbing a cloth to her neck after I had attempted to take a drink of water at the same moment she had asked me if I had a special somepony. As you can imagine, the sudden question caused me to choke and got us to where we were right now. Me red-faced and her drying off as we sat across from each other in the restaurant she had picked to have dinner at before we went on to the theater.
“I am so sorry ma’am” I said for the forty fifth time.
“Relax, it was too personal a question anyway” She smiled, wiping some Heli-water from her chin.
“Ma’am, if I may, do you do this with all the ponies in your unit?”
“Hm?” She looked at me, her gaze measured, waiting to see if I would ram my hoof in my mouth.
“Take your staff out like this” I said carefully, forelegs ready to block any incoming projectiles.
“Well, I like to know my ponies one on one” She said with a slightly teasing tone “Steelmane was hilarious” She added.
I thought back to earlier in the day when my shift ended. Steelmane had been watching me like a hawk until I was alone. He had grabbed me by the shoulder and took me aside in the main QM store.
“Listen up Helical, Shimmer will do everything in her power to make you feel utterly out of place” He said sternly. “She does this for two reasons. One, to see if your personality is up to scratch, and secondly to see if your heart is really in the job. So be mindful of that...And for the love of the princess’s don’t let her make you dance....” His tone was one of a soldier who had seen too much “...No dancing...” He muttered.
So this was a test? I had to show drive and enthusiasm? Well, I doubt anypony in command would have agreed to her methods, but she must have passed officer school somehow, and it certainly wasn’t by following the regulations religiously, given the situation I found myself in right now.
After dinner we went to the theater, and I have to admit, Shimmer was looking like a member of the Canterlot elite. She was wearing a pale blue silk dress that seemed to shift and flow like water. Not to sound too smug, but I thought I polished up pretty well myself. I had retrieved my tuxedo that I used to wear on formal events back in Baltimare, usually antique shows or timepiece displays. As we sat through the performance, which was some form of satirical comedy show based on how outsiders viewed the life of Canterlot ponies, I kept glancing over to Shimmer, who in turn was looking back at me in a manner that made me feel like she was examining every reaction I made.
Throughout the performance I gave polite laughs where I thought they should be, smiled where I considered a joke to be too close to the bone but still “amusing” and the occasional chuckle when I genuinely understood what was going on. Baltimare high society was somewhat different to Cabterlot, so most of it went over my head to a degree. I was silently praying that the Lieutenant was impressed with my apparent understanding of it all.
It was just around the time where I felt I had this nailed that the Lieutenant leaned over during a stand-up section of the show and whispered into my ear “You never did answer me when I asked if you had a special somepony”
I coughed loudly and jerked my head away from her in surprise. Big mistake.
“Ah, somepony in the fourth row, you there! In the fancy tux!” The pony on stage called out right before a spotlight illuminated me. “Um.... Yeah?” I said, my ears dropping flat to my head, feeling a blush burn through my cheeks.
“You and your marefriend there look like the most classy couple here. C’mon ponies, give these two a big ‘AWW’
The crowd gave a big rippling ‘AWWWH!’ which made the Lieutenant giggle and me wish I was somewhere safe, like the moon, alone, with no comedy pony to ruin it. However, my mouth had something to say as I felt a sudden rush of irritation.
“Were not a couple! She’s my boss!” I practically yelled at the stage. The crowd seemed to still and the pony on stage smirked, bigger mistake!
“Oooooh so trying to earn some favor in the eyes of your beautiful boss hm?” The pony on stage retorted.
This time, the Lieutenant spoke up “Oh, ignore him.. He’s new and I thought I would help loosen him up” She winked at the comedian who grinned and nodded.
“The poor fellow” The pony chuckled before letting the show continue, picking out another pony to comment on her mane. The lieutenant looked at me and smiled.
“Oh smile Helical, it could be worse”
“Really?” I whispered with as much venom as I could muster.
She nodded “Yep, I could be taking you dancing” Her eyes narrowed dangerously “You do dance.. Don’t you?”
“I uh... Not in a long time. I would hate to trip over your hooves and ruin something you apparently enjoy a lot. Given what the others told me”
The Lieutenant grinned and nodded “Nice recovery... I’ll spare you. This time..”
I was stood in the metal-shop just beginning my shift for the day, First sergeant Molten and Sergeant Steelmane were stood either side of me, both of them seemed more like talkative mares more than Royal Guardsponies.
“Did she wear the blue dress?” Molten asked
“Yes” I responded absently.
“She took you to the theater? To a comedy show?” Steelmane asked.
“Yes”
“And. She didn’t make you dance?” Molten looked to Steelmane as he asked me.
“Correct”
The two stallions looked at each other then at me as I was trying to busy myself with a spring-lock used on the bucking targets in the training area, which apparently, got broken often enough to take a pony to their repairs every day.
They both turned to me and said in unison “She likes you”
I blinked “No she doesn’t” “She does” again with the unison. This was getting odd.
“Can a pony be left to his duty without his Squad leader and his unit First Sergeant prying in to his life outside of work?” I said dryly.
The Sergeants both laughed “Oh come on Helical” Molten smiled.
“Yeah, it’s not like we stand guard all day and need to be as rigid as CHG or LHG ponies right? We can have some banter!” Steelmane chipped in, then raised a brow as Molten whispered something to him with a smirk.
“Oh well... She is a totally different matter.”
“Who?” I asked, trying to hide the fact that the whispering suddenly piqued my curiosity.
“Oh” Molten shrugged “We can’t talk about officers in this manner in front of guards like yourself Helical. Not on duty at least... Would be rude to spread rumors”
“If they were actually rumors” Steelmane chuckled “We have a meeting, First Sergeant. We can’t keep the Lieutenant waiting any longer”
The two nodded to each other then walked off, whispering to themselves. That suited me just fine. I had work to do and didn’t want to try to make sense of what had happened.
One thing was clear however. Once these ponies got to know you could do your job they seemed to relax and open up a bit. Not something I was expecting after going through regular guard training which focused on the lack of talking required to do your job. So be it, I thought to myself as I tested the repaired spring-lock mechanism.
These ponies acted differently, and I should make a real effort to know them as well as the unique type of bond they all shared. I guess it had something to do with the lack of visits from command, so long as the quality and pace of the armory’s output kept up with demand.
I think now I am beginning to really find my hooves here. If it wasn’t for the Lieutenant using me to create some gossip and get ponies talking to me more. The thought made me pause.
I yawned and rolled over in my bed as the alarm chimed its overly-happy reminder that I was on duty in two hours, it was always happy when it got to do its duty, it’s just a shame its duty was to wake me up from dreams of being a famous stallion secret agent who all the mares fawned over and always had the best carriages to race through the streets in. I groaned and with a swift hoof I silenced the alarm and groggily rolled out of the guard dorm standard issue bed, which wasn’t a bad bed, but I heard the officers quarters were like the Princess’s private chambers by comparison.
After getting washed and dressed in my armor I stood before a mirror and checked that I was presentable. Although I worked in a wing of the palace that was rarely visited by anypony of note we always made sure our gray armor with brass engineer shield on the breast was as good as the PG or the HG, we had pride in our work and our uniform was our representation of the work that, largely, went unnoticed. That’s how it goes as part of the Engineers, if we do it right then hardly anypony would notice.
I made my way to the armory, occasionally looking out to see the sun rising steadily into the morning sky, it looked like it was going to be a pretty good day out there. I made a mental note to have lunch outside as I arrived at the QM office and signed myself in fifteen minutes before my shift started. I nodded to Sergeant Park, who smiled in return as I entered. She was one of the most diligent ponies on Alpha and was in charge of all inventory during her squads night duties. I knew her more by reputation than any real contact as Alpha’s shift generally finished as the ponies of Bravo came on to start the day duties.
Moving through the QM store towards the metal working area I could have sworn I heard a noise among the stored suits of armor. Taking a moment to peer down the isles I shook my head before I carried on to my work station.
As the rest of Alpha began to clear up and sign off for the day I picked up my work sheet to see what was needed to be done today. It was nothing out of the ordinary, reading aloud to myself.
“Three bucking targets to repair, two to build” I muttered.
“One set of hinges for a door in the officer training academy”
“One sheep to be covered in candyfloss and-...”
I blinked then looked around as one of my squad mates, Guard first class Devine tilted her head, peering at me as if I had lost my mind.
“Did you say sheep and candyfloss?” She arched an eyebrow, moving to stand beside me and peer at the work sheet.
“Um.. That’s what it says. One of Alpha’s ponies must be pulling my wing” I said before Devine pointed at the page.
“Your kidding right?... It clearly says ‘Make twenty nine steel cat flaps’ ..Which seems odd” She spoke with a tone that suggests we were both wrong.
I looked at her then at the page “I am getting confused” Then I saw it! The words changed before our eyes and we both took a step back, dropping the page.
“What the hay is going on?” Devine asked, her eyes looking around for a mischievous unicorn or bottle of ‘joke ink’
“I’m not sure” I mumbled, my own eyes seeking out an NCO or the Lieutenant.
The clatter of metal drew everyponies attention as the racks of armor shuddered and the suits began to move, hopping form their stands and charging around... Hoof guards, saddles, helmets, all appearing to move as if invisible ponies had donned them and were jousting each other.
The suits ran into each other, banged into walls and generally made a huge ruckus as all the members of Bravo squad stood there, confounded. None of us knew what to say or do as the entire armory descended into a state of utter confusion and chaos.
“Everypony! Focus! Check the locks on the weapon racks!” Steelmane yelled over the cacophony of clashing metal.
The sergeants voice cut through our stupor and set our hooves in motion. Dashing to the cages I checked the locks, all seemed to be in order before I heard a yell from the metal shop. Somepony had been polishing some of the service swords, I got to the metal shop to see Comet Twist, one of the biggest earthpony stallions next to Steelmane, in a duel with a floating spear, his own service sword in his mouth. I blinked as I watched him take on the ghostly weapon with surprising dexterity. She made a few swings and blocks before turning on his forehooves and bucking the spear in two, sending it across the metal shop where the parts lay motionless.
“Are you alright?” I shouted over the background noise. He nodded “I think so, make sure the others are too” I straightened my posture then made my way back towards the QM store.
It was utter madness, ponies wrestling with suits of armor, adding additional locks and barricading the weapons cages. All while other things were going on that made even less sense, outside, one of the others reported of chocolate rain and pink clouds, this was intense. Weather aside, the happenings inside the armory were more important, I moved through the place, helping ponies grapple with the rogue armor and tie it down with rope that occasionally turned into snakes as we endeavored to bring some order to the mess.
The door to the armory suddenly burst in in a golden light, drawing the attention of all of us. I blinked as I saw the Lieutenant, her eyes intense with anger as she screamed and let forth a bolt of magic that struck a suit of armor that was galloping towards her, practically turning it inside out with the screech of rending metal.
Everypony stopped to watch our lieutenant as she charged in, taking on all the suits we hadn’t caught yet, then I seen it, the reason for her unbridled fury, what I guessed was once her armor was transparent and gold in color, and.. dripping from her. As she galloped past me I caught a faint scent of caramel, well, it seems this odd magic had a sense of humor, she always kept a box a caramel sweets in her desk, and now she was wearing it.
It took all of us several hours to get the place under control before everything stopped. Armor collapsed on the floor, weapons stopped rattling their cages and a general silence descended on the armory. Everything was back to normal, except the Lieutenants armor, which still dripped off her.
“I want everything tidied up before the end of Bravo’s shift, get to it!” Shimmer Stone yelled as she moved slowly around, inspecting suits and weapons. She turned to see half of us looking at her.
“What! Do I have something on my face?” She said in agitation
“No ma’am!” Steelmane said, clearly fighting against the smile bubbling under his professional demeanor.
The lieutenant gave him a dangerous glare, it would have been more dangerous looking but part of her former helmet ran down between her eyes. At that moment she seemed to realize how she must have looked and.
Letting out an exasperated roar she stormed off, calling back “Someone prepare my backup suit, once I have this stuff off me I expect us to be back to regular work”
I looked to Steelmane who finally cracked a smile “I don’t think a shower will cut it... ” He chuckled then set about getting us back into some kind of order.
The life of a Royal Guard armorer is not full of glam and glitz like the ponies we serve. Indeed, you could say we are firmly in the background for the most part. If we do our duty correctly, then nopony ever knows where their weapons, armour and other equipment goes when it needs repaired. One day they hand it in to their units QM, the next they have a replacement back in their hooves. It is a largely thankless job, however, we are allowed to take some pride in what we do when we see the royal guard on parade. Knowing that we supply the implements of safety and security that work towards the continued harmony of Equestria, is something I like to think is the biggest kudos one can get in the engineering sections.
Indeed, such constant,quiet work can make life blur and before you know it, several months, even a year can pass. My life hasn’t changed much, no promotion, no big ceremonies, no medals. In essence, my life as a clock maker and my life as a Royal Guard have many parallels that I find comfort in. A few small changes have come along which help to relieve the monotony, for one, I joined a small gaming group in my down time. We play several different types of games in one of my colleagues rooms, twice a week. We play various board games, war games and even some card games. I’ll admit that I am a bit of a sucker for anything collectible. That probably comes from my making of watches and clocks, always have to have the best parts and tools around, which results in most of us tinker ponies being quite the hoarders.
During duty hours, we busy ourselves with repairs, cleaning, general maintainance around the palace and even outsource some of our ponies to the civilian contractors. Because of this wide spread reach, we tend to find that, where breakages, accidents and other unfortunate events happen, that similar names crop up. One that never gets old for us is a guard by the name of Miley Hooves. Former City guard and currently part of PLHG, who, if you were to take a map and draw a line between incidents that involved her, would no doubt draw some kind of amusing image, with the current epicenter being the palace. From windows, tables, glasses, a cafe canopy, a display cabinet and more recently, a chandelier and a sofa, within Princess Luna’s wing of the palace. I don’t think I will ever let a pony like her enter my old shop, ever. On the plus side, she did break a wall, which upon inspection was full of rot, and work had been taken to further inspect the palace and begin repairs. So, yes, being in the engineer sections is relatively quiet, punctuated with some small incidents which make us smile. Today was different.
It started when Lieutenant Stone called us together for a briefing, all of us. She was in full parade armour, as usual, her eyes checking each of us, ocassionally nodding to one or two.
“Alright ponies, I have called you here to inform you that Princess Luna is taking a trip to the Northern Gryphon Kingdom for a diplomatic meeting. Her House guard as well as several Palace guard and even members of the Unicorn Temple Guard will be in her retinue. I want to remind every pony here that we pride ourselves on being the finest smiths, and crafts ponies in the Royal Guard. Should any of the ponies on the list require anything done, it is your job, responsibility and pleasure to ensure their requests are carried out quickly and to the highest quality possible”
As the days running up to Princess Luna’s trip flew by we had relatively few requests. A sword here, some polishing work there and one Palace Guard who had clearly lost his copy of “So you joined the Guard, a primer on -hurry up and wait-” By the time we were notified of the Princess’s departure we had only seen about four ponies who were on the roster. It just goes to show how efficient and self-reliant members of Palace security really were.
The next few days were a blur of monotony. With the PLHG either away on the diplomatic trip or just guarding empty rooms we only attended to some minor fixing work about the Palace. Even the Lieutenant was fairly absent, and even when she was around she would busy herself with small-talk with us or challenge some of us to hoof wrestling, which we all lost. Even the Sergeant lost, which he quickly put down to not wanting to seem like he was hurting a mare or to let everypony think she was weak. The medical report I spied on his desk a day later said otherwise.
We were ready, today was the day the Princess was to return. We had made sure any work inside the Palace was done in her absence and we were stood on parade awaiting the arrival of the ship. As we stood at-ease we could see the outline on the horizon. I smiled to myself as with these ponies returning we would have some work to do. As the ship drew closer somepony flew off from it’s deck and swooped up to Sunny Day, the PCHG commander. The Pegasus looked panicked and worried, before we knew it Lieutenant Day was yelling “Bring up medics! Everypony prepare to receive casualties!” That last word ran my blood cold, was the Princess injured? It was a diplomatic trip! Who was hurt? What happened?
